Infancy
by dmnq8
Summary: Sasuke and Naruto have a son. A child whose powers are unknown, but whom every nation wants. "And now for how it gets better," Shikamaru said. "Two babies! Double the danger, double the threat, double the not-fun all these nations will be throwing at us." Mature themes, thoughts on suicide, character deaths, and extreme violence. Sequel to Expectancy.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Thank you for your patience! I plan to keep author's notes to a minimum from now on, so unless I have something serious to report it'll just be the chaps. Feel free to contact me via PM with any questions! I've updated my profile too, so questions on other works might already have been answered there.

Onward!

* * *

 **Infancy**

Chapter 1

For the first few days he had a confused impression of a great deal of activity around him. He could neither see nor hear very well, but he sensed things. Felt hands on his face, in his hair. Running over his body. Lips pressed to his again and again. Sometimes the lips moved against his, and he imagined words were being said. Always the same rough, callused hands. Hands he recognized. One time a softer touch shyly stroked his cheek. He'd turned toward that hand, but it pulled away. He sensed that it was the gentle hand that fed him thick, hot broth. That washed him with a warm cloth and helped him void where he lay.

He knew he was weak. He'd tried moving his own hand to touch his face, only to discover that the strength to do so was absent.

Then, on one of those days, strong and familiar arms carried him somewhere. A warm, soft, squirming bundle of flesh was set on his stomach. He and the squirming bundle were both wrapped in furs and taken outside. He knew it was outside because the cold he was already feeling sharpened until he was gasping for air. But for that hot bundle on his stomach he would have frozen. Then he was indoors again. Carried some more and set on a bed. The bundle was removed. He slept.

-oOo-

Over time, his other senses gradually returned. Days, weeks, he didn't know, but his vision clarified. Light and shadow moved around him. Sound was still distorted, though. As if heard underwater. He was still weak, but growing less so. He could open and close is hands, touch his face. Small victories.

A day came when he opened his eyes and the dark thing he saw wasn't shadow, but a head of black hair. Someone sitting in a chair, forearms on their knees, examining their hands. Right then, seeing that hair, his memory returned. He was Naruto, he'd been pregnant, and he'd tried to kill the kid.

The person was speaking.

"- doing beautifully, you should see him. Growing like a weed. Been a little over two weeks now. Hinata's not sure she's mixing the milk right for a newborn, but he doesn't seem to be suffering. Just knocks the stuff back and licks his chops for more. I think he wants me to bring him in to see you, but I won't do that to you. I know how you felt, so when you wake up and tell me you're-"

"Sa…" It hurt to speak. "Sasuke?"

The head snapped up. "Naruto? You're awake!"

Sasuke's face was like a blow to the chest. So dear, so missed…but he remembered everything. Or thought he did. "Happened?"

"It's over. It's finally over." Sasuke gave one of his rare smiles.

Naruto stared at him a moment. He saw that Sasuke now had his hands to either side of his head, leaning over him. He tried to sit up.

"No, don't. Your body's still getting its strength back."

At mention of his body, Naruto looked down. His stomach was flat. Back to normal. He had on one of the fur tunics, but he raked this up to see his stomach.

No mound. Obviously no kid. No scar either, if the kid had been delivered. He slowly put his tunic back down and leaned against the pillows. His eyes moved around the room. "Where am I?"

"In a minute. How do you feel?"

He considered his answer as he studied Sasuke's face. "Sluggish. Rusty. Where are we?"

"We had to move to one of the other houses-"

"Why?"

Sasuke glanced down the rest of his body, straightening the blankets. "Your appetite's been good, Hinata says. Are you hungry now?" He glanced at him. Looked away again.

Naruto processed several things at once. "The kid dead?"

"What? No! He's-"

He turned his head away. "I want to be alone."

"Why?"

"Why? Because you're not telling me what I want to know. And I got nothing to say, really, so leave."

"But what's wrong?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

Sasuke's jaw clenched as he stared at Naruto's profile. "Do you have any idea what we've been through? For you?"

Naruto turned back to him. "No, I don't. You going to tell me?"

Sasuke dropped his eyes.

"Right. Close the door on your way out."

When Sasuke left, Naruto looked around his immediate area and saw a stoneware mug of tea on an end table by his bed. He reached over, snagged it, and heaved it at the door. Thing didn't even make it halfway across the room. All he ended up doing was spilling the tea over his bed and making sure the mug rolled across the floor.

* * *

Downstairs, the baby lit up the moment Sasuke walked into the room. Small hands reached for him, and that little face split in a wide smile. The clone he always left to watch over the kid when he had to leave the room disappeared as he reached him and lifted him in his arms.

"How is he?" Hinata asked.

Sasuke cradled his son in one arm, but saw that the boy was listening. He now knew his son heard and understood everything around him. A wave of love swept through him at seeing the alert expression. He bent to touch his nose to the boy's. Tiny hands beat at his cheeks as his son laughed at this, but Sasuke straightened and stared across the room at where Hinata sat mending one of their tunics.

The moment Naruto had been safe, and his son clean, fed, and sleeping, he'd gotten her into one of the empty rooms of this house, shoved her into a corner, and really scrutinized her. She'd stood, chin held high, and let him.

When he was done his jaw had been tight. "So it's really true, then."

"I suppose."

"Get rid of it."

"I can't."

"I said-"

"I _tried_."

He'd gone very still then. "What are you saying?"

She was completely unafraid of him. No longer shy, and no longer meek. She'd pushed away from the wall and walked toward him. She hadn't stopped until she was close enough for him to smell her. It disgusted him that her proximity and the way his insides twisted at the challenge in her eyes shortened his breath. "I'm saying," she hissed, "That I tried, and I can't, and this is the last time you're going to speak to me about it. It's none of your business. It will never be your business." She'd turned to go, but he grabbed her arm.

"What's that supposed to mean? _Not my business?_ That kid-"

She wrenched her arm free with a good deal of strength. Stepped close enough for him to take a step back or risk her face touching his. "I don't know what makes you think you have some kind of authority over me, Uchiha Sasuke, but you don't. You don't command me. I don't answer to you. And if you put your hand on me like that again, I'll…" she struggled to recall the phrase he liked to use. "I'll drop you."

That was a distinct possibility, if his recollection of the way Tsunade had been beaten was anything to go by.

"And if you say anything to Naruto about it I'll tear your tongue out of your head." Her ponytail nearly caught him in the face when she angrily turned and left the room.

Now, though, he stared at her and his hostility matched the neutral look she gave him. "He's awake. Asking questions."

A high squeal from his son. He glanced down at him and saw him wriggling in happiness, all smiles.

Hinata looked back down at her sewing. "And did you tell him anything?"

"Nothing that would upset him."

"Do you think that's wise?"

"I think it's none of your fucking business." He let the baby squeeze his finger. "You're not going to tell him anything either. Clear?"

Hinata said nothing.

-oOo-

Later, when Sasuke was asleep, she stood outside Naruto's door and took several deep breaths. They didn't help much. Her hands were still shaking. Treating Naruto while he was unconscious was one thing. Speaking to him while he was awake was another. There was every chance that he wouldn't remember the moments right before he'd passed out, but what if he did? What if he remembered raping her, and hating himself so much that he tried to kill his own child? She didn't know if she could face that despair from him again. She hadn't been at fault, but it didn't lessen the fact that she felt guilty for the whole thing. He had _died_ because of her. She owed him whatever information he wanted.

Her hand drifted to her lower abdomen and held there. She'd been avoiding him before the birth. It had probably seemed mean to him. He would think it was because of the rape, and it had been, partly, but that wasn't the reason she couldn't be around him. She'd gotten over the rape itself in a relatively short time. Three days after it happened she'd been ready to forget it and move on. Or try to. But she couldn't. She found that out not long after. She would never be able to have closure, not now. Not ever.

And she didn't know how she felt about facing a lucid Naruto while she was in her condition.

 _Please. You're not a coward. Not anymore. You faced him before he remembered, and you can face him now._

A shaky sound escaped her. Not quite laugh, not quite sob. Before she could lose her resolve she lifted the candle higher, knocked, and entered.

* * *

Naruto was enjoying the wonder of sleeping on his stomach when a sudden presence in the room woke him. He turned over a bit too quickly and instantly regretted it. His muscles were stiff and sore. Moving more slowly, he eased himself to a sitting position and shielded his eyes against the candle being set on his end table. "What the fuck."

"It's me." Hinata sat herself in the chair by his bed. "Just me." She crossed one leg over the other, crossed her arms, and flicked her bangs aside with a toss of her head. "W-what do you want to know?"

His hand lowered. He took the time to note that just being in her presence made him burn with shame. His body actually felt as if it were going up in flames where he sat. And he couldn't look at her. "What? Look, I think you should g-"

"About the birth. Or…or anything. What do you want to know? Sasuke believes in sparing you any information he thinks will hurt you, but if you want to know something, I'll tell you."

Naruto kept his eyes on the ceiling. "And where was this consideration for my feelings when I asked you what I'd done to you? What I'd done to him?" From the corner of his eye he saw her flinch. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Get out."

Hinata stared at his profile and struggled not to cry. She won that battle for the most part, but she didn't back down. "I was trying to prevent the kind of reaction you had when you _did_ find out. But it happened. You know. You remember, so there's no need to hide anything anymore."

He was able to cut his eyes and glare at her with all the hatred and contempt he felt for himself. "I don't like being lied to."

Her stomach chose that moment to cramp, lending his words more meaning than he'd meant for them to have, she was sure. In fact, seeing those blue eyes focused on her, her body went up in a number of alarming sensations. She forced herself to shut them out and think of the matter at hand. "No. Of course not. But we were trying to do what was best for you."

" _I_ can decide what's best for me." He looked away from her.

"I p-promise that I'll never lie to you again. Is that all right?"

No answer.

Her hands opened and closed on her knees. Sweat dampened her skin so that she had to tug on the front of her tunic. "If you want to know, just say the word. I'll…I'll go." She stood up, almost panting now in her discomfort.

"Tell me."

He watched as she stopped by the door, turned, and gave him one of her nervous nods. "Okay. Okay, but Naruto…I'm going to warn you now that it's not pleasant. Okay?"

"Tell me or not. I honestly don't give a fuck."

That made her frown. She knew he felt something terrible at what he'd done, but she rather thought he'd be more remorseful toward her. Instead, he'd been hostile since she'd walked in.

She took her position in the chair again and cleared her throat. "Where do you want me to begin?"

"The kitchen. After you and Sasuke were trying to save the kid. Which I specifically told him not to do." He glanced at her. "How _did_ you save him?"

 _No lies,_ she reminded herself. "With my chakra."

He grunted. "And then?"

She went through it all, detail by detail. How quickly he'd deteriorated. The arrival of Tsunade. Her clones. Their fight to save him once the baby had been safely delivered. The failure to do so.

He stared at her. "Wait, what? I was _dead?_ "

She lowered her head. Really, whenever he looked at her she felt as if her skin was blistering off her bones. "Yes."

"What. For like a minute, right? Like how people stop breathing a couple seconds, and someone does the chest thing, and then they're breathing again?"

"You were dead about eight hours. Tsunade…well, there was nothing she could do."

"Eight…" He sat up completely, if with difficulty, and kicked the blanket aside so he could move to the edge of the bed. "Eight _hours?_ " He frowned at her lap. "That's, like, a normal thing to happen in a hospital sitch, though, right? That's normal? People do that all the time? I was dead three days when Sasuke saved me, so eight hours is nothing…"

Hinata fought the urge to fan herself by swallowing. All Naruto had on was a pair of buckskin trousers that were currently unlaced at the waist. She could see the wiry profusion of hair between the laces. His upper half was bare and entirely too masculine for her peace of mind. _God, what is_ wrong _with me?_ "It's definitely not nothing. If a person is dead for more than, say, fifteen minutes, their brain won't recover. You were gone. Rigor mortis had set in, you…you were just gone. And this wasn't the result of a jutsu that could restore your life, such as when Akatsuki had you. This was different."

"But Kyuubi, right? He did his thing?" He frowned as the burning he felt in her presence shifted. Switched to some kind of elemental pull, something that tugged at him. "He healed me?"

"Not the way you're thinking. I told you, Tsunade said she could detect no trace of the seal. Can you? Detect it, I mean? I couldn't when I assessed you, but maybe you can assess yourself and detect it. It's your body, after all."

He hadn't assessed himself. Nor would he. He was very careful about not feeling anything or trying to feel anything where his body was concerned now that his memory had returned. "How'd Sasuke take it? Me dying?"

Hinata, watching his expression carefully, now looked down at her hands. "Not well. Not at all, at first. He wouldn't— _couldn't_ —believe you were dead. Tsunade tried to tell him, but something in him broke, I think. He waited. For you to wake up. Waited hours, just looking at you. He was just incapable of accepting you as gone." She glanced at him. "He only did so when the baby started screaming."

Naruto had his hands braced to either side of his hips, rocking back and forth. "Granny brought me back? Some high-class forbidden jutsu like what brought back Gaara?"

"No. The baby did."

"The-" He went still. "What? No. How? I don't believe that. Explain that."

"Well we both saw it happen. Sort of." She explained what they'd seen. "But whatever he did, it was…it pretty much destroyed the room. Good part of the house. Blasted us downstairs, so I guess we didn't really get to see what he did."

"If you knew the kid has him, why'd you ask if I could sense Kyuubi in myself?" He snorted. "Seems like the little shit took yet another thing from me."

"I was hoping maybe he put it back during whatever he did; I can't see a seal in him either."

 _Because he doesn't need one._ Naruto grit his teeth hard enough to bring on a headache. "How'd Sasuke take my return from the dead?"

"How do you think?" She frowned. "Between you and me I don't think he's okay. He's-"

"None of us are okay," he whispered.

She processed that and wondered at the pensive look on his face. Looked down at her hands as she gathered her courage. "I have to ask you something."

He turned so that he could lie in the bed again, and brought the blanket up under his armpits.

Taking this for permission, she forged ahead. "I need to know if you're going to try again. To kill the baby."

Naruto closed his eyes. After a second, he gave a soundless chuff that was anything but amused. "The shit sounds invincible. Besides, that would involve me getting near him. Touching him. Neither of which is ever going to happen."

"Good. I'm glad to hear that. Not the refusal to touch him, because that's…well, that's petty heartless. But the fact that you don't plan to kill him yourself. Tsunade already tried while you were dead. Sasuke anticipated this, though, and gave me instructions beforehand. I dealt with her."

" _You?_ How?" He was looking at her again.

She stood up. "I have my ways. Do you need anything?"

"No."

"Or…maybe you want to talk about something else?"

"…No."

Hinata studied his profile. She supposed it _was_ too soon to talk about the rape. Not that there was anything to really talk about. Still, the animosity he was showing her made her ill. "I want you to know I forgive you," she said quietly. "I know it wasn't your fault-"

"Did I ask your forgiveness?"

"Well no, but-"

"But nothing. You're unbelievable, you know that? Back when I was all kinds of sorry you couldn't even look at me. Now you're chafing because I'm not licking your heels anymore?" He shot her a venomous look. "There's nothing to forgive. Because it can't be forgiven. It'd be like trying to forgive a typhoon for knocking your house flat. Stupid. It wasn't done on purpose, so there's nothing to forgive. I _know_ it wasn't me, but it was my body so I have to live with that. At the moment the memory hit…well, I was hit, but trust me I know it wasn't me. It wasn't even the little shit. It just happened. The result of a bunch of other shit going on. So there's no forgiving it. No going back to how things were before. There's only now, the after, and how we go on."

She stared, breath held.

"I'm not a logical person, but I'm not as dumb as people think. And logically speaking, you tend to get hurt around me. Very hurt. Logically speaking, there's no reason for you to be here. Not anymore. So go. I need you to go. I want you to go. You'd be safer, and neither of us would have to be reminded of what happened."

He dropped the back of one wrist over his eyes in dismissal. Hinata swallowed hard. "I see," she said. "Lucky for me that I don't take orders from you, then, isn't it? You and Sasuke are both such domineering bastards sometimes. Naruto?" She bent a little closer to him. "I will go when I'm damn well ready to. You _ungrateful_ ass."

He snapped his hand down to glare at her, but she was already slamming her way out of the room. It was only later, when his anger simmered down, that he realized the pull he'd felt around her was also gone.

* * *

Sasuke, upon hearing Naruto scream the next day that Hinata was never to come near him again, took up the job of bringing his food to him, but he cornered Hinata later and did some screaming of his own. She yelled right back, face almost purple, until he finally went silent. Her fury shocked him. She was so incensed that her _Byakugan_ was in place and her teeth were bared. Yet even as he watched, she softened. Took a step back. The veins receded, and her lashes lowered. Then she was sobbing into her hands.

He left her room as quietly as possible. As far as he was concerned, she was an explosion waiting to detonate.

Thereafter, things fell into a routine. Hinata now kept house. Cooked, cleaned, or else performed tasks relating to those two things. Sometimes she washed their clothes, sometimes she mended things. Whatever she was doing, it was with such quiet, smoldering violence that he stayed out of her way. He also took over mixing the milk. The baby was fed a warmed bottle in the morning, changed, then left with a clone while he took food up to Naruto and sat with him awhile. He never left the baby alone with Hinata. Sometimes he spoke to Naruto, and sometimes he just sat and watched him sleep. Each pastime was pretty much the same; Naruto never spoke to him except to answer the question he posed to him at the end of each visit:

"Do you want to see the baby?"

"No."

This went on for some time. Faced with continued tight-lipped silence, Sasuke's conversations at Naruto grew shorter. Some days he didn't want to go up there at all. It got so that he made the majority of his visits when Naruto was sleeping. He left food, which was sometimes eaten and sometimes not. That Naruto could get up and feed himself was good news, he supposed.

Except, this wasn't Naruto.

Every day before he went up to Naruto, when he was putting his son down and telling his clone to watch him, he would speak to the boy. "Maybe today. Maybe you can see him today."

He would go upstairs, brace himself, and enter that room. Naruto was usually in bed, if he was asleep. Sometimes he was sitting on the chair, looking out the window. He'd stay for as long as he could stand the silent animosity, sometimes silent himself, before asking the question that signaled he was done for the day. "Do you want to see-"

"No."

Whereupon he'd leave the room and close the door. Felt like he left a part of himself in that room each time he did. He'd go back to his son, who invariably had a questioning look on his face after these visits. He'd be forced to shake his head and say, "Not today. Maybe next time." And then his son would cry. Every time. Without sound. Just his tears and his poked out lip and his hitching breaths. Sasuke couldn't stand it. Eventually he stopped telling the boy, but the baby would see his face when he came back from those visits and cry anyway.

In his quiet moments, when everyone was asleep, and he was left awake, Sasuke would cry too. He recalled this being his biggest fear. That they would all live through the pregnancy only for him to find Naruto no longer the man he knew. Sometimes he would sit and stare at his son where he lay gurgling in his little basket, and wonder what he was supposed to do. He had a child. A miracle of a child, who could perform miracles…but he didn't have Naruto. The two were so opposed to each other—one weighing heavily on the side of positive change, the other just as heavily on the side of complete horror—that they canceled each other out for the most part. Sometimes he thought the price for his beautiful son was too high. Other times he thought to have such a son, one who welcomed him with smiles each time he saw him, was worth any price.

Ah, but Naruto. He'd had him for a little while there at the end, before the birth. Thinking of this only made him hurt more, though.

-oOo-

He went around in a fog of suspended grief. As if Naruto had never truly woken from death. He fed his son, took care of him, tried to play with him, but inside he was dying a little more each day.

Some days he didn't go to Naruto's room at all.

Hinata came to him on one such day. She'd kept her distance as well, but now she stood glaring at him as he slowly put food on a tray. He had the baby in one arm. They both looked at her when she appeared in the kitchen doorway. As usual whenever he saw her, the baby burst into smiles and squeals of delight, reaching for her. Sasuke never let her hold him. "What," he said to her.

"Stop feeding him, that's what. He's able to move around and walk. Goes to the bathroom by himself. If he can't show anymore decency than what he's currently giving us then he can damn well feed himself." She stared at the baby, who'd gone silent at hearing all this. "And if you want him to see his son, _take_ him up there."

She disappeared to another part of the house, leaving him to think on her words.

He didn't take the baby upstairs that day, but Hinata was right. Naruto could find food for himself if he wanted to eat. He looked at his son, who looked back with shining black eyes. He kissed his cheek.

Later that day, the sun came back for the first time in months. It was only for an hour, but it was something.

* * *

The lack of food registered, if dimly. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew no one had brought him food for three days, but in the forefront of his mind, and in every other part of his body, he knew nothing. He sat for hours on end in his chair, staring out his window, or else he slept. Both activities followed each other in a seamless loop while he drifted in oblivion.

He wondered if being dead was something like this. He'd walked that particular path twice now and had no memory of either time.

It was a long time before he decided that whatever this was, it wasn't like death. For one, he wasn't really experiencing oblivion. If he was perfectly honest with himself, he'd never known a more potent fury.

It felt…good. Better than good. Like some drug, some powerful stimulant he'd been missing his whole life. He'd been sad more than anything as a small boy. Once he'd learned about the demon inside him, anger came more frequently. True rages had still been rare, though. Unconsciously avoided in order to prevent himself from losing control. There'd never been cause in his life to sustain the kind of rage he was feeling. Maybe he hadn't even been capable of this level of rage. Not for long. He'd never been wronged to such an extent, and if he had, he'd been in possession of his equilibrium. That had always righted the slights done to him in life. He'd always believed in himself, despite his lack of acknowledgement from others.

Now, stripped of his foundations, beaten and battered and broken, the only thing holding him together _was_ his anger. There was no danger of releasing Kyuubi, no perspective against which to measure what he'd lost. His rage ran free. Sang through him with liberal doses of hatred thrown in. Feelings that were so foreign to his nature…but then his nature _had_ undergone a radical change. He had no idea what his nature was now, or who he was, but he had his anger. It pulsed in him, in his blood, in the throbbing veins on his temples. And in his heart that seemed to pound out a slow, steady promise of no more. No more. He could not go back. Would not. No more boyhood. No more softness. No more mercy.

Days went by of this senselessness. Faint recollections of eating ice and snow off his windowsill. Leaping out that same window to answer his calls, only to climb back. It was good exercise. What his body needed.

The sun was back. Each day a little more, and then a little more still. He would sit in his chair during the three or so daylight hours, and try to remember the weeks of darkness. He'd been gone for much of it. A part of him was glad he'd been gone. Too much had happened in the dark.

Sasuke stopped visiting. No food brought to him. It occurred to him that this was wrong. Three people in a house, in the middle of nowhere, ignoring each other. The memory of Sasuke, of loving him and of their relationship, was so far away. He couldn't see it anymore. Had no memory of how it felt. And that was as he wanted it. He didn't want to remember anything.

That third day of no food he slept. For how long, he didn't know. When he woke, and after he'd done his business outside, he saw that someone had taken pity on him. There was a tray of food just inside his door. Not only that, but there was a fresh stack of firewood near his fireplace, and a fire burning. His room was warm and toasty.

For the first time since the…since he'd died, his anger receded. Not by much. Just enough for him to think of something other than how much he'd lost.

Food smelled good. And he _was_ starving…

He was dropping beside the tray before he'd completed the thought. The seal steaks were still hot and dripping with gravy. Some kind of fluffy biscuits were piled up beside them, and there was a dish of peas. A huge jug of sweetened milk topped it all off. He put the thing to his head, drained it in long, throat-churning swallows, and banged it back down with a belch. As an afterthought, he licked each of the plates clean.

When not so much as a crumb or dot of gravy remained, he sat staring at the dishes. It hit him then that this was the first time he'd felt like eating in God knew how long. He actually had an appetite. Remembering the recent days of eating snow, he snorted. "Fuck this."

-oOo-

The hall was deserted.

The layout of this house was different, but he tiptoed past a closed door, past an open one, and down the stairs. Not a sound to be heard anywhere. Maybe they were all asleep? That would be asking too much. His luck hadn't been in since Sasuke had come home with a bunch of scrolls. His worst fear was that he'd suddenly hear the little shit, but there wasn't even a whimper. Not from anywhere, upstairs or down.

He found himself in a living room area. Still no one. He spent a second or two staring at the chairs and couch as he made his way to a doorway he hoped led to the kitchen.

Score. This kitchen was square instead of oblong, and in possession of a table and four chairs…but there was food on the wood-burning stove. He went directly to that pot. Looked like a couple of gallons of bubbling meat stew sitting in the thing. He set the tray he'd brought with him down, took up his bowls, and filled them to the brim.

He couldn't see a fire lit in the stove, but a sudden heat wave had him burning up. Something made him turn around even as he was pulling on the front of his tunic to fan himself.

Hinata was motionless behind him, her face nearly completely obscured by her bangs.

They stood staring at each other for what must have been a full minute before they moved. She did some kind of head tilt that had her bangs falling to one side. A gesture that made his stomach do a slow somersault. Her cheeks were flushed, he saw. Sweat beaded her upper lip.

An odd paralysis gripped him as he realized his heart was hammering. She took a step toward him, her face devoid of any expression whatsoever, and his heart rate climbed. He actually felt his own sweat work its way down his chest as she came another step closer. He swallowed. The pulse in her throat seemed to be beating as rapidly as his was. Then he saw the way strands of hair stuck to her neck with her perspiration, and he thought about asking her why it had to be so bleeding hot in here-

She was holding something. Handing it to him. He finally looked down and saw several steaming bread loaves on a wooden platter she had balanced on her palms. A glance showed an oven built into the wall on the far side of the kitchen. She must have been over there, taking the bread out of it, when he entered. He hadn't even seen her.

His tray was still in his own hands. He was lucky it hadn't dropped in his distraction. She put three fat loaves on it now, squeezing them beside his bowls. The edge of her hand brushed his thumb as she did this and he really did almost drop the tray. A tremor went through him, but he heard her gasp. Saw the way she took a hasty step back and turned around.

He was taking the stairs three at a time a moment later, and closed himself in his room with a shudder of relief.

* * *

Sasuke waited a few days before scooping his son up and marching down the hall to Naruto's room. He stood outside the door for a long time. The baby was quiet. Watching him excitedly. The boy knew what was happening and glanced at the door every few seconds.

A deep breath, and then Sasuke was opening the door.

Naruto was just climbing in the window, snow crusted on his clothes. He took one look at the fur-wrapped bundle in Sasuke's arms and said, "Get out."

Sasuke closed the door behind himself and leaned against it. "You can't keep ignoring him. He's your son t-"

Naruto had turned his back the second he was in the room, but now the rage he'd been holed up with broke free. He bent and threw the bed with such force that the entire thing shattered against his door. He wasn't done. Picked up the nightstand and hurled that too. And the firewood. And the chair. When there was nothing left, he screamed at the top of his lungs, feeling his eyes jitter in their sockets with the force of it. And then he leaped out the window again, eager to find an outlet for the adrenaline roiling through him.

Sasuke stood in the hall, listening to the human cyclone that was Naruto destroy the room. The scream had him putting a protective hand to his son's head, but the boy appeared to be listening with him. Attentively. When there was nothing but silence from the other side of the door, he pouted. Whimpered. Then opened his mouth and cried. Sasuke went back to his room. He didn't approach Naruto after that.

* * *

Hinata waited a week, but thereafter she never ran into Naruto again. She presumed he made his kitchen forays while she and Sasuke slept. She never saw much of Sasuke either, actually. They both avoided her. Which, in light of things, she supposed was good.

She hadn't noticed it as much with Sasuke. Passed it off as anger. Even laboring under heightened emotions as she was, though, this much anger wasn't like her. And always, she felt it around Sasuke. He only had to look at her for her to entertain thoughts of clawing his face off. The violence of the images terrified her, but not as much as realizing that it wasn't really anger she was feeling. There was some, but the majority of the rage she felt around Sasuke was frustration. Physical…frustration.

Alone in her room, sitting on the edge of her bed, she swallowed.

Horrifying didn't begin to describe the knowledge that she lusted after Sasuke. Yet even this paled in comparison to what happened when she was around Naruto. She'd gone over her reaction to him that time she was in his room, but could find no explanation. It hadn't been nerves, as she'd originally suspected, or fear.

That evening in the kitchen, when she'd straightened from the oven to find Naruto at the stove, she couldn't breathe. She felt as if his body pulled her across the room. And when he turned, when he pinned her with those eyes, she'd felt herself swell and moisten in utterly unmentionable places and thought she would die of need. And then! Torturing herself, she'd gone closer to him. Saw the way he was just as affected by her. Had known that this was the Sasuke thing times ten. And that she was dangerously close to doing almost exactly what had been done to her in a different kitchen.

It was this that had allowed her to regain some semblance of control. To turn away. Thankfully, Naruto had gone and left her to stumble to her room.

She wasn't sure if it was the baby or the way her body was reacting to the pregnancy, but whatever the cause, she was in danger of…succumbing.

As much as possible she tried not to think of her condition, but since that day she'd been forced to. Forced to go farther and think of how the pregnancy had come about. Naruto's body had been swimming in chakra that day, both his own and Kyuubi's. She had to believe that whatever power Naruto's own pregnancy exhibited had also been a factor; hers was no ordinary gestation. Aside from the enhanced strength, and greater stamina, she was self-healing. And no matter what room of the house Sasuke and his son were in, she could feel the child's exact location.

She suspected that her body was reacting to whatever pheromones Sasuke and Naruto gave off. It was strong with Sasuke, but she could resist. With Naruto, it was almost impossible. Another face-to-face with him might end with her panting beneath him. And the only reason she could come up with for why this should be so was that it was Naruto's child in her. There had to be some connection.

 _He bit you._

That thought had her opening her eyes again. Naruto _had_ bitten her, but she wasn't sure that was the cause. The possibility that part of Kyuubi's chakra resided in and was influencing her…that sounded more plausible. She had no idea. It could be all of those things. Baby, bite, and Kyuubi. Or none of them. Maybe she was losing her mind.

There was one thing she did know, and it was that Naruto was right. She had to leave. If not to keep herself from reenacting some form of Naruto's Kyuubi state, then certainly before her condition was known to Naruto.

Her bag sat packed by her door. She passed it as she stood just outside her room, listening to the house. It was silent.

She'd promised never to lie to him again, but she wasn't telling him about the baby. It was lying by omission, but she couldn't. She could, however, say goodbye. She could withstand the minute in his presence it would take to do this, but she hesitated. It made no sense for her to go within twenty feet of Naruto in light of the strange attraction between them. And all signs pointed to him not caring one way or the other that she was leaving.

Tears were a constant thing for her these days. They came now, and she put her face in her hands.

She loved them both. As miserable as that made her, she couldn't deny it. Even as hideous as they both were at the moment, with Sasuke reverting to the full hatred he'd had for her before the Jounin exams, she loved them. Not as friends, or as people she'd survived horrors with. As men. For their complexities and devotion and nobility. Even when they were stupid and stubborn and enraged her to the point of madness, she loved them. She wanted to stay. And that was another reason why she had to go. Perhaps the most compelling reason.

No goodbyes.

She hefted her bag, closed her door, and left the house.

* * *

Not ten feet from the porch a hand on her arm had her whirling on a shriek.

"The fuck, it's me," Naruto said.

She couldn't see his face through the fur of his hood, but she sensed him looking at her bag. "You scared me." A shudder of displaced adrenaline worked through her.

"Where you going?"

"Nowhere."

"Lies."

"No."

"Bag."

She stared at him, willing him to go inside and leave her alone.

Naruto had other ideas. "Get inside." He reached for her arm again.

The weather was severe. A low-grade snowstorm had been blowing since the day before, but she was finding out that her body remained warm regardless. She didn't need to go indoors, and she wasn't about to have a confrontation with him. "Let go of me."

Ignoring her, Naruto countered her strength by using his own. He dragged her in despite her resistance, which, if she was honest, wasn't much. He was shoving his hood back and yanking down his scarf by the time she turned around, ready to argue her way out of this.

God, he was beautiful.

His hair was getting long again, almost obscuring the V of his brows. She got lost in the angry blue of his eyes so that she almost missed what he was saying.

"-know I told you to leave," he ranted, "but seriously? You're just walking out in the middle of a storm to get lost and frozen in the snow? Food for some bear?" He snatched her bag off her back, breaking one of the straps. "And you hardly have any food in here. You telling me you plan to hunt and travel at the same time? Because you'd need to travel non-stop to make it south before you died of-"

She snatched her bag back from him, successfully breaking the other strap. "Nothing I do is any concern of yours," she snapped. "You made that perfectly clear. I'm dead to you, so… _oh_ …"

He'd stepped up close to her in his anger, towering over her, but the minute he did, that heat surged up in her with frightening speed. Her limbs turned molten.

Naruto gasped against her face, his nose nearly touching hers as he suffered the same affliction. He had to lean a hand against the wall by her head for support. His breath washed her face. "What is this?" he said. His voice was strained. "What are you doing to me?"

She tried to step around him, keen to get outside, but he stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. The moment he touched her, she felt as if her body dissolved in a conflagration desire. The _need_ …

Naruto felt every atom of her body call to him. Her smell. The feel of her, even through the layers of her clothing. His hand was on fire where it held her shoulder. The heat spread throughout the rest of him in debilitating waves. Overpowering his senses, drawing his attention to her parted lips and the way she gave a soft, grunting moan of pure lust.

His dick was so hard it hurt.

This made him blink. Made him drag his mind back from the edge with brute force. He had to push himself away from her. Once he did, he turned around and walked off a few steps. "The hell," he said in a shaking voice. "The _hell_ was that? Was that what happened before, in the kitchen? Not when I was getting food," he waved an unsteady hand, then switched to squeezing his dick through his pants. "Before. The first time. When I hurt you."

She needed several tries before she could wet her mouth and speak. "No." She could barely stand. The wall held her up more than her legs did. "No."

"No." He turned around. Glanced at her warily. "It's not, I remember. But this isn't me either, so what the hell is it?" His eyes widened. "Is it _you_?"

"No, I-"

"It is," he whispered, turning so that he faced her fully. "I thought it was guilt on my part. Shame. But this is totally physical." His head cocked sideways, eyes narrowed, as he looked her over from head to toe. "You're pulling me. I can _feel_ it. In my skin. Deeper. Something…you…how are you doing that? Why?"

He studied her face. Her wide eyes and flushed skin said she knew exactly what he was talking about, but he didn't see how someone could generate such a wealth of lust in someone else on demand. Deliberately. And yet, she was behaving as if it was as unwelcome for her as it was for him. She was edging sideways, toward where her bag lay on the floor, and he swore his body turned with her. Locked on hers like a beacon. One that pulsed in time to his thundering heart, and kept his dick hard though he still had a hand on it. He was all but throttling the thing through his clothing. The way his body was so attuned to hers reminded him of the… "No."

She glanced over at hearing him hiss that word, sure he was trying to stop her again, but he wasn't looking at her. His gaze was focused inward. She snagged one broken strap, made it to the door, and was just breathing a sigh of relief when he said, "Tell me it isn't true. Lie to me about _that_."

The door was open. Blessedly icy wind cooled her cheeks. Freedom was in the sharp smell of ozone on that wind, in the flecks of ice that hit her face, but she heard him walk up behind her, and squealed when he reached past her shoulder and slammed the door shut. Even this proximity had her leaning her forehead against the door in weakness.

He stayed there, standing at her back. Breathing in long, deep breaths of his own struggle at being so near her. "Is. It. True," he bit out.

A small sound left her; she was going to attack him. There would be no stopping it. No way to control herself. And she wasn't sure Naruto would be able to step away a second time.

Light swelled behind them, accompanied by footsteps thumping down the stairs. "What's going on here?" Sasuke held his lantern high to see them. "I heard noises."

Naruto braced himself before turning around, but there was no sign of the kid. He and Sasuke's eyes met. Held a moment, conveying a wealth of hurt and resentment, before Naruto stepped away from Hinata and drew what felt like his first breath in ages. "She's leaving, that's what."

He watched Sasuke carefully as he came another step into the room. Saw the way his eyes ran up and down Hinata's body quickly, before they flicked in his direction and skipped away.

"Oh," Sasuke said. "Good. I mean, if she wants to, if she thinks that's best, let her." He realized what he was saying and drew himself up straighter. "Never wanted her here in the first place."

Naruto smirked, but he wasn't amused. Far from it. "That's…just… _fascinating_."

"So you're talking to me now?"

"How long have you known? Lied about this too, I see. At the very least you both kept it from me. Oh, you're happy to see the back of her, _neh?_ What, scared I'll fuck her again? Or do you not want me finding out."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sasuke said.

"Really?" Naruto folded his arms. "Your face says otherwise."

"I'm sure I don't-"

"I can feel it in her, asshole." He waited. "What. No more lies now?"

Sasuke studied the ugly look of hatred on Naruto's face, before he set the lantern on the floor and folded his arms in turn. "Wasn't my business to tell, just like the rape wasn't my business to tell. Both times, Hinata made it abundantly clear how she felt about you knowing anything."

At this, they both turned to Hinata. She straightened against the door, somewhat stronger now that Naruto was no longer so close, and met their stares with a toss of her bangs. "I don't owe anyone an explanation," she said quietly. "I came here to help Naruto, and I have. He's back on his feet, obviously recovered, so I'm taking advice that was given to me and going my own way. As far as I'm concerned, nothing's changed. I don't belong here anymore."

"Except you're carrying my kid," Naruto said just as quietly. Saying it out loud had his insides doing a slow, dizzying roll. "You can't just walk out."

A rush of emotion swamped her at hearing Naruto claim the baby, but she swallowed past it. "Watch me."

Naruto took a moment to order his thoughts before letting his hands drop. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his pants. "Okay. I _was_ shitty to you before. But Hinata…" He bent forward a bit. Stared at his feet and shook his head. "I meant what I said, but things _have_ changed. You can't just disappear into the night with my kid-"

"It's _not_ your _kid_!" she screamed. "It's _mine!_ _My_ problem, _my_ burden, _my_ baby! You don't have a say in it. _You_ weren't even there when it happened. Like you said, it was an accident. Something I can't even forgive you for, so _where_ do you get off _claiming_ something you don't even have the balls to talk about with me? You brushed it off! Well, now you can brush _this_ off. It's not yours. I'm _leaving_. And if you try to come after me, I will fuck…you…up!" She bit her lip after that, as if she wanted to take that last part back. In the end, she jerked her bag into her arms and slammed out of the house.

Naruto, once he'd blinked the worst of his shock away, tore after her.

Sasuke stared at where their snowy footprints were melting. He didn't have long to wait.

Naruto came back less than twenty minutes later, almost completely covered in ice and snow. "She's too fast," he said as he leaned on the door to close it. "Fucking hell, she's got Kyuubi's shit cooking in her almost as hard as it was in me. Fuck!" He coughed a few times, expelling the frozen air in his lungs, before he turned and found him. "I have to go after her. I can still feel her, but it's getting faint. At this rate she'll be off the continent by morning. Hurry up!" Naruto made as if to sprint past him.

Sasuke checked him by shifting so that his body blocked the doorway.

"What do you think you're doing?" Naruto said. "You're not stopping me from going."

"I don't see why you have to go. She made her decision, didn't she? What does it have to do with you?"

Naruto stepped back. He didn't need Sasuke's narrowed eyes or folded arms to know he was pissed. He could very well feel the strength of Sasuke's rage from across the room. True, the last time he'd seen Sasuke he'd thrown furniture at him, but he rather thought that this transcended any beef between them. Still, if they were going to finally have this out and address their issues, he wanted to be calm and clear in the head. Not in the process of going after someone. "Look," he said, striving for calm. "I know we have our issues to deal with, but they have to wait. We can't let her just go off on her own like this."

"Seems you told her to leave."

"That was before I knew!"

"So you want her to stay because she's pregnant?"

"What are you, stupid? Yes!"

Sasuke tipped his head. The frown between his brows said that he was genuinely confused. "Why?"

Naruto stared at him. "Are we seriously doing this right now?"

Sasuke only continued to look at him.

"Fine." He ran a hand through his hair, half turning around to run his eyes over the rest of the room. "Why do I want her to stay? Because it's _my kid_."

"And what. You want to be a father to it? Become a happy family with her? Because it didn't sound like she wanted that."

Naruto threw a narrowed glare of his own. " _That's_ what you're thinking? That I want to be a father to it?"

"I'm thinking you're willing to accept her kid but not ours. Ready to brave the elements despite not being fully recovered in order to bring her back to the safety of your side. You won't even look at our son."

Naruto filled his lungs in one slow breath. "Whether or not I want either of them isn't even a question because I've got them anyway. I _am_ their father, regardless to if I accept it or not. But this isn't about that. This is about my kid in her. Mine. As in it's already doing some freaky shit. And I can see by your face now that you're aware. So tell me this. Do you really think it's wise for her to go off into the sunset carrying a kid who might raise the same kind of hell _ours_ did? Don't you think that might draw attention to her? People know she was with us, so I have to figure somebody out there will put two and two together and guess who the daddy is. Which means she'll be a target. Alone. No support system like I had."

That was a different matter entirely, Sasuke thought. "Still. She's not dense, she has to know what might happen regarding the pregnancy. And yours was as bad as it was because you're a man. She's a woman. Has all the right equipment. It won't be the same."

Naruto took a step closer to him. "Mine was as bad as it was because that _shit_ had powers. Abilities, stuff he was doing that complicated things even more. The fact that he had powers was what fucked my ass up. He drained the life out of me, Sasuke-"

"Because your body didn't have what he needed. Hers does."

"Because he was powerful!" Naruto yelled.

"So-"

"It made me want her. The kid she's carrying? It made me want to fuck her just now. Every time I'm around her, in fact. What if that happens to every guy she comes across? What if a bunch of men try to r-" He paused, pinched the bridge of his nose. Went on in a quieter voice. "What is the _point_ of us suffering out here if we're just going to let her go off on her own? Don't you think people will want her kid too? If that's the case, I might as well go back to Konoha. _That's_ what I'm trying to say."

Sasuke looked away. If he said he'd been feeling horny around Hinata too of late Naruto would disappear out the door and that would be that. The wedge between them would become an impassable chasm and they would be over. Now, while he had him talking, was the time to get to the bottom of this. "So this has nothing to do with paternal feelings you have. Once she delivers the kid, you'd let her leave? Assuming she could keep the kid out of someone's clutches?"

Naruto blinked. "I don't know. For fuck's sake, I _just_ found out about it."

"And that right there is my problem. Even 'I don't know' is more than you're giving our kid. You're willing to chase after Hinata to keep her safe, I assume because you care about her. But me? You want nothing to do with me."

"Man, please. Spare me the-"

"Are we together?"

"-melodr… What?"

"Are. We. Together."

The steady, almost lifeless tone Sasuke used gave him a chill. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I think the question explains itself. Are you with me or not? Do you want to be with me, or are we now separate entities?"

"Wha… I… The _fuck_ do you-"

"Do you ever plan to accept him? Really. I want the truth."

This was why he was so pissed at Sasuke. One of the reasons, anyway. Guy had always been stuck on the idea of this kid. Had talked him into having it. Snatched him away from the cabin. Stashed him in this frozen hell until he'd died. And now that he had his precious son, he didn't seem to care what all it had done to him, Naruto. "Didn't I just say that I got him regardless to if I want him?"

"What you said was that you've sired him. That's pretty much what that statement meant to me. You know that's not what I'm asking so I'm still waiting for an answer."

He found himself considering it. Actually considering if he and Sasuke were over. Not a thought he would have been capable of voicing, even in his own mind, before remembering the rape. Hell, before then he and Sasuke had been good. Differences mended, connection reestablished. He ached for those few days they'd had, he really did, but now it was just another part of his anger. Everything was different now. The assault on Hinata was bad enough, but what he'd done to Sasuke… How Sasuke had _let_ him do that, let himself be repeatedly brutalized without complaint…and for what? To protect Hinata? The little shit, maybe? He couldn't say he wouldn't have done everything in his power to protect her himself, if the tables were turned, but he would never have let the situation get that bad in the first place. Never. He felt like he wasn't a priority to Sasuke anymore. Dude was lying to him left and right, keeping things from him, and all he cared about was his shit of a kid. Here it was he'd fucking _died_ , but the only thing on Sasuke's mind was whether or not he was going to play nice with the baby. Of course. Because, apparently, that was all that mattered. "As far as I'm concerned, that little shit doesn't exist," he said. "And as for if we're together? No. Doesn't look like we are."

Sasuke swallowed, but gave one long, slow nod while holding Naruto's eyes.

Naruto stared right back. Daring him to say something else. Almost wishing he would. Sasuke was always the one to say the difficult things that fixed shit between them whenever they fought, but not this time. This time all Sasuke did was pick up the lantern, turn, and head back up the stairs. He heard a door close somewhere up there and just let the tears come at last.

He didn't allow them for more than a few seconds. The space of time it took for him to suck in a deep breath. Then he was striding out the door again in pursuit of Hinata.

* * *

Over the next several days the storm worsened to such a point that even going outside to answer nature calls was impossible. The one time Sasuke managed to make it to the roof he beheld the weather run amok: snow, wind, and ice howled across the landscape with such ferocity that the little skin he had exposed around his eyes was burned raw. When he went inside his clothes were solid ice. Moreover, the house was completely snowed in. For better or worse, they were buried.

At the end of a week, Sasuke looked around his room. All his belongings were stuffed into three huge seal skin packs. The baby's few things took up another. He was ready to go as soon as the weather permitted. God only knew when that would be, he thought.

For now, he went to his son. The boy was swaddled in some kind of one-piece thing Hinata had made from a polar bear's hide. It had sleeves and a hood, but no feet. The boy was one large bundle, black hair peeking around the edges of the hood's white fur. "Hey, you."

A squeal in greeting.

He picked him up in his basket and sat with him in front of the fireplace. "Want to talk to you about your dad for a sec." He stopped there, thinking. No matter how much his son understood, he was still a baby. He had an idea that children shouldn't be exposed to adult concepts. Furthermore, he seemed to recall that his son _hadn't_ understood the mature thoughts he'd sent to him before he'd been born. Still, the boy was powerful. And in the interest of preventing him from using those powers again out of fear or confusion he opted for the truth.

"I love your dad," he said. He paused to give a quick smile in response to the boy's chirp of happiness. "I do. Even after everything, most of me still loves him. But things aren't the same. He doesn't want to be with me, and…" He hesitated again, meeting his son's eyes. "He's not ready to meet you. Oh, _don't_. Please." He awkwardly rubbed the boy's chest as the baby's eyes filled with tears. His little mouth pouted and quivered. Sasuke rushed to say the rest. "He might be ready one day, or he might never be ready. Doesn't matter—well, it does—but _I_ love you, is what I'm trying to say. You'll always have me. All right?"

Two fat tears slowly rolled down the baby's pudgy cheeks, one after the other. His face squeezed up as if he was about to cry in earnest, but he didn't. He took a breath that shook his body, and looked up at Sasuke.

Sasuke scowled in anguish. "Hate seeing you in pain. Babies shouldn't feel pain. But your dad's changed. Pregnancy really fucked him up. Fucked us all up, but that's not your fault. None of this is. It just…happened." Still holding that tearful gaze, he said the next part carefully. "We have to go. Okay? And when we do, you can't come back here. To him. Remember what I said before? After you helped your dad? How you couldn't do that again, just disappear to his side? Well this is the same thing. When we leave you can't come back here to him."

A shivering wail that made more tears fall, but the boy was quiet again as Sasuke went on.

"We _have_ to. This is no place for a baby, and there are now two people out there in the world who know where we are. The potential for discovery is high. And your dad…I don't want you to ever feel rejection from a parent. Family is everything. It's precious. I'm not going to stay here and watch him hurt you. But never mind about him. If he wants us-" His own tears surprised him. Rose up to burst out of him with no warning at all. This set his son screaming at long last. Sasuke rocked forward and put his head on the basket, completely and utterly torn. He could feel the boy kicking in his one-piece, bawling in grief.

 _But you don't know him,_ he thought _. You don't know Naruto like I do, you have no idea what we've lost._

It was an effort. A big one, but he dragged himself up and braced his weight on his palms, leaning over the basket. He and his son were a mess of snot and tears, but again they regarded each other. "If he wants us, he'll find us. But we're going. Soon as the storm passes and my clones get back."

They were running low on milk. He'd sent two clones out for more days ago. Plenty of time to go and get back under ordinary circumstances. He was sure the storm was delaying them, but if they didn't make it back soon, he was in trouble. He had precisely one sack of powdered milk left once the sack he was currently using finished. At twenty pounds a sack, that gave him maybe two weeks' worth of bottles. Maybe. The boy ate more and more each day.

"Storm has to give out some time," he muttered, hefting his son. "And the clones have to make it back before we're out of milk. All there is to it." He slipped the baby into a front-carrying sling Hinata had also made, scrubbed his hands down his cheeks, then went to the kitchen to see about some lunch.

* * *

For a good two or three days he felt good about what he'd told Sasuke. He was done. They were done. Too much had changed. He'd lost too much. Lost everything, really. He didn't want to piece together some parody of what he'd had with Sasuke before; he wanted his old life back, just the way it had been.

This was something that occupied most of his waking hours for the simple fact that he had a sneaking suspicion that it was impossible. Forget the fact that he'd left Konoha. He could always go back. Or that Granny wasn't Hokage anymore. She could be reinstated. Even the fact that she'd betrayed him could be gotten around…in time. That shit was all real, but not insurmountable. It was him. He himself was different. He couldn't find a single thing about himself in keeping with who he'd been prior to Sasuke coming home with those scrolls. Not one thing. He didn't feel the same. Didn't even think the same, if his ongoing fury was any indication. Fuck, he didn't even have Kyuubi anymore…and that particular loss affected him a lot more than he wanted to admit. He hadn't known about the thing for most of his life, true, but he'd always been strong. Powerful. A lot of the respect he'd earned from people came from deeds he'd done. And those deeds wouldn't have been possible if not for Kyuubi. The demon was part of his identity. Now he was nothing. A missing-nin. An outcast. Rapist. And weak. There hadn't been a hope of him catching Hinata. She'd been long gone when he tried to pick up her trail, and he'd barely made it back to the house.

He remembered falling into the main room and coughing until he was dizzy. Then he'd stood in front of the fireplace, thawing out and catching his breath, as this latest development really registered with him. He'd gone perfectly still.

As if discovering what he'd done to Hinata wasn't bad enough, he'd gotten her pregnant. A kid. Another kid. That was forever, assuming the thing lived. No getting over that, or forgetting and moving on. She'd be a mother. Her life would be…not over, but definitely not free. All he'd ever wanted was to return just half of the respect and honor she'd always given him. Instead, he'd hurt her at every turn. _That_. That moment right there was when he'd just stopped feeling. Everything in him just stopped. Even his anger.

What was that, a week ago? Didn't know. Didn't care. He spent all day either in bed or in his chair. Right now it was the chair.

He'd died…and woken up to this hell. This nightmare that just wouldn't end. So no, he didn't want Sasuke, who was also unrecognizable. Or the kid, who was likely an abomination. Come to think of it, he didn't care what happened to Hinata either, or whatever hellspawn she was carrying. Fuck him up, would she? Bitch could drop dead somewhere. He was so fucking done with everything.

He waited a few minutes to see if he'd feel some kind of remorse for these thoughts. The old him would have. The old him wouldn't have even had these thoughts. The new him felt nothing but indifference. And the need for another nap.

-oOo-

Through what he considered to be sense on Sasuke's part, and blind luck on his own, he never ran into the guy whenever he went looking for food. He knew Sasuke was still in the house. Could feel him. Heard noises from time to time. Once, a couple days ago, he even heard the little shit crying. That had paralyzed him where he'd been pacing his room. First time he'd ever heard him. Made his blood run cold, and his muscles all cramp. Thankfully, the crying was brief and hadn't been repeated. But for all intents he might as well have been alone.

He cooked, ate, and used their squalid bathroom all without incident. Didn't even hurt anymore, that he and Sasuke were over. Seemed everything he'd thought immutable about his life turned out to be nothing more than dust on the wind. Now he munched a handful of raisins as he trudged back to his room, and thought that he was becoming as frozen as the rest of this place. Which was fine by him. He sensed that if he deviated from the linear road of apathy he was on, if he ever turned that corner in his mind, the grief of losing so much would eat him alive. And, in his present condition, probably finish him. He had nothing left. No more fight, no more will. Just nothing.

He brought his hand to his mouth to eat a few more raisins and stopped. Stared at his hand. It occurred to him that he didn't have to go through this. That he _could_ die. Really die. He could do it. There was no Kyuubi to foil the attempt and the kid was nowhere around. He could go out into the snow, far away, and just…be over. Everything would be over. Would be better. All things considered, it was probably the only way to fix all the things that he'd done wrong.

The thought made his heart pound. He wasn't sure if it was excitement or fear, but it was something. More than he'd been feeling, for sure. The knowledge that he didn't have to face years of this hell was welcome. Comforting. And then he leaned over and threw up.

* * *

 _This is bullshit. I'm an elite ninja,_ Sasuke thought. He watched the amount of powdered milk dwindle to three-quarters of a sack, then half a sack, and still no sign of his clones.

It was incomprehensible to him that the simple elements of nature could defeat him. He could and did infuse every fire he lit in the fireplaces with chakra so that they burned hot enough to warm the rooms. He further kept himself warm by manipulating the fire-based chakra in his own body. But the amount of chakra he'd needed to melt the snow around their house had shocked him. The sheer force of the wind and the level of cold had necessitated more than simple chakra manipulation. Weather had to be sixty below zero, with a wind chill somewhere in the tenth level of Hell. Worse, the ice and snow had frozen again even as he was melting it. A phenomenon he'd had trouble believing despite looking right at it. Nor did the wind just ebb and flow. It blew with a steady, constant strength that only increased from time to time instead of lessened. And despite having seven hours of daylight now, the cold and ice remained unchanged. By the time he'd made it back inside, again frozen solid despite his chakra, he was winded.

He sank to the balls of his feet and tried to think. He could go harder, he supposed. Really let loose his chakra, but to what end? So he could blow up the fucking house? And what if he had to travel in this madness…was he going to use _Amaterasu?_ Seriously? Ridiculous. He would not believe some snow and ice could defeat him like this.

Yet when another week crawled by, with no change in their circumstances, he was forced to look at this fact. Especially when he felt his clones disperse. He created a clone there in the house, and addressed both it and his son as he tugged on as many clothes as possible.

"There's a week of milk left." They gazed at him solemnly, listening. "If I don't leave now, I won't have time to get to my clones' last location and back before it runs out. Clones gave out a hundred and ten miles from here. Means the range of this storm is huge, means I have a ways to go. But it's twenty-five sacks," he said bracingly. "That's a good six months of milk." Done dressing, he turned to the clone and lowered his voice. "I don't think he'll come down for anything but food, but you be careful just in case. Don't get seen. Don't let _him_ be seen." He tipped his head at the basket. "Best time to hit the kitchen is early morning and early evening, so make extra bottles whenever you do. Feed him every two hours, change him every three. He might want to eat sooner than two hours. Feed him. He might take a shit right after you've changed him. Change him again. You keep him fed, you keep him dry. You keep him out of sight, but don't let him out of _your_ sight. Not for a second. Got it?"

The clone gave a grave nod.

Sasuke hunkered down at the basket. "Remember what I said? No going up there. Not for any reason. Understand?"

His son cooed, eyes round.

"Good. Good boy. You stay with the clone. He'll feed you and keep you safe. Okay." He stroked the baby's hair a moment. "I'll be back as soon as I can. Five days. Okay?" He looked at his son and the clone both. "Five days tops."

He left.

The clone stared at the basket. It had Sasuke's knowledge so it already knew the changing and feeding schedule, as well as how to mix the milk. By its calculations, the boy would be due for a feeding in twenty minutes. Picking up the basket, it went to the kitchen.

* * *

Things went off without a hitch for three days. Feed the boy, change the boy. Clockwork. Boy slept ten hours a night, waking twice to be fed. Took a couple of two or three hour naps a day. A set routine, easy to follow. Boy never made a sound. Only watched him. It watched the boy back. No encounters with Naruto, ever. Kept the place warm, kept its sword in hand whenever it wasn't holding the boy. Two days to go.

But then on that fourth day it was in the kitchen. Boy was in his basket, on the table. It thought it heard a sound behind the constant scream of the wind, but it couldn't be sure. Feeding time, anyway. Priorities. It turned from filling one of the bottles at the stove to pour the rest of the milk into the bottles it had sitting at the sink. There was a window above the sink. Shuttered. Fur curtains over the shutters. This fur moved. Fluttered. That fur never moved.

It went perfectly still.

If the movement were wind, this would be felt entering the room. Not wind, then. Something. Something was there behind the curtain.

It turned, dropping the saucepan of milk, to snatch up its sword where it was resting beside the basket. Even as it kept an eye on the curtain. Even as it saw a snarling nightmare of teeth and claws smash through the shutters and curtain both, leaping into the room.

Two seconds.

It had time to see the tunnel the polar bear had dug from the surface of snow covering the house to the window. Time to remember that these particular bears had a keen sense of smell and had likely sniffed them out. Time to register that this thing probably hadn't eaten in who knew how long. They were nothing but walking protein to the bear.

And time to set his stance before the boy, sword raised and crackling with chakra. Time to send a _katon_ of wild proportions at the bear, mindful to direct any flames away from the boy. Time to swing its sword once as the bear came right through the flames. Time to feel the biting wind sweep down that tunnel now that the bear's body wasn't blocking it, but it was two seconds. The bear crashed into it, it shoved back, and then it felt the sensation of disbursement. _Shit._

-oOo-

The bear howled, fur blazing. One eye was gone behind the downward stroke of that sword. It rolled around in a frenzy of pain, causing the table to skid on its legs to the far wall, but nearly everything else was destroyed.

At length its pain lessened. The man was no more, it saw upon getting to its feet. It smelled another somewhere above it but there was a cub much closer.

-oOo-

He was scared. The feeder was gone, he knew that. There was a lot of noise for a while, and fire-smell. All he wanted was his feeder and his bottle until his person came back. But that wasn't his person putting its paws on the table to look at him. It was something with smoking fur, half a face, and long, sharp-

* * *

Naruto woke with a grunt of fright. Some sound had snatched him out of a deep sleep. He could still feel the fuzz of slumber at the edges of his mind, giving him a headache, but most of him was wide-awake. He realized he was standing on his mattress. Saw _Rasengan_ in his hand and clenched his fist to release it.

He took a step that put him in the middle of his room and listened. Nothing. No sound but the wind. Maybe Sasuke had dropped something? That was probably it…until he felt a gust of wind sweep into the room from under his door. That had him frowning. Snowed in as they were, no wind ever made it into the house. He stood there for the next ten minutes as the feel of wind lessened until it was nothing.

Whatever was going on outside his door Sasuke probably had under control. He neither heard nor sensed a threat, and he was cold. His bed was calling him.

When he woke up hours later he went directly to the extra food he'd brought up on his last kitchen run. Enough to last another day maybe. Plenty of firewood, thanks to all his broken furniture. No need to leave his room for a while. He heated his tin plate of mush on the flames and dug in.

Nothing to do after that. He didn't feel like the chair today. Crawled back to bed and disappeared beneath the blankets.

-oOo-

On his really lazy days he didn't bother with the bathroom. Just pissed into his fireplace. He was trudging back to bed after doing this when a sound had him whipping his head toward his door. His days were always so silent that any sound was bound to catch his attention, but _this_ sound…

It was the little shit. Crying. Really wailing, actually. He'd rarely heard him. It was always faint if he did. Gone quickly. He could essentially pretend that he'd heard nothing. But this was ridiculous. Kid was screaming down the fucking roof.

He dismissed it. Jerked his blanket off the bed so that he could use it in the chair. Sasuke would handle it the way he always did and shut the shitter up.

But there he was wrong. That howling went on for the rest of the day, and into the night, as if the kid wasn't even human. Seriously, he never stopped to rest or catch his breath or, apparently, to sleep. He took perverse pleasure in ignoring it. Or trying to. He was sure this was some stunt engineered to make him give a damn. Which wasn't going to happen. He slept without a care in the world.

Until a second day of that screaming greeted him. Sasuke was really pushing it. And he was out of food. Due for a kitchen run. But if Sasuke had the shit down there doing his performance-

He was across the room, wrenching open his door. Enough was enough. "Sasuke, dammit!"

The screaming stopped at once.

He was past caring, storming to Sasuke's room to throw open the door. He didn't actually know which room was his, as evidenced by the light scent that hit his nose. He banged open another door. This room smelled like Sasuke but the bastard wasn't here either. What _was_ present was a bunch of packed bags. There was a clothesline strung across the width of the room with what he thought were cloth diapers hanging from it. He stared at the bags. One of them was open. A tiny sleeve dangled from the top.

Another cry had him slowly backing out of the room.

-oOo-

His careful descent down the stairs reminded him of the night he'd had the little shit. No pain this time, but a wealth of dread. By now he could sense that Sasuke wasn't, in fact, in the house. Which meant he'd left the shit for him to deal with. And he would, so help him. Past time this was over. Thing probably _wasn't_ human, not with the way it had eaten Kyuubi.

Downstairs was notably colder than upstairs. And it stank. Moving cautiously, he crossed the main room. Toward the kitchen. He stopped before he was halfway; there was a bear lying in the doorway. He crept closer, setting his lantern down as he scrutinized the scene.

Carcass nearly reached the lintel, even laid out as it was. Clearly this was the source of the smell, but it wasn't decomposing. He bent to it. The front half of the body was burned to a misshapen mess. Unmistakable recipient of a lightning attack, if the lingering stench of ozone was any indication.

Another cry. Short one this time.

And it occurred to him then that Sasuke wouldn't have left without his bags. Nor would he have left without the love of his life, that screaming little shit.

Adrenaline had him hooking a hand into the fur and hauling the body out of the doorway with one yank. "Sasuke?"

Nothing. He hadn't really expected a reply. Nor did he approach the now empty doorway. He stood for a long time listening to the silence of the house. Staring at that doorway. Knowing that someone was listening for him too. Knowing _exactly_ who that someone was.

There was a sound at last. From the kitchen. A little hum of fear. There and gone.

Clenching his jaw, he put one foot in front of the other and shuffled toward that sound.

He didn't go through the doorway—he stood to one side of it and leaned his forehead against the jamb. Stayed that way, nails digging into the stone. Another sound. Weird. Like a small grunt of greed. He took a deep breath. One more. Then one more, and realized that he was hyperventilating. Made himself stop. Ended up holding his breath. Cold. Shaking like a leaf. Squeezed his face up then finally, _finally_ took a look. Just one eye around the jamb.

His gaze bypassed the mess in the kitchen to zero in on the basket on the table. Even as he watched, two short, pudgy arms rose up from inside, little hands opening and closing. He ducked back out of sight on a shudder.

Then he was looking again. Hands were still there. By the dull glow of his lantern he could see little dimples on each tiny knuckle. After several minutes of staring, he eased his way around the jamb and entered the kitchen.

Each careful step brought him a little closer to the basket, which wobbled at his approach. As if the kid was kicking in anticipation. The arms were revealed more and more with each step. Before he was quite ready, the forearms were visible. Then the elbows. He stopped there. Now he could see part of the quivering bundle that made up the kid's body. Another step would reveal the interior of the basket entirely.

The hands and arms were still held up, but now motionless. Not a sound emanated from either him or the basket. _This little shit ruined my life._

He noted that his heart was pounding, but he wet his lips, took a breath…and took that final step.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: There's a picture of Naruto and the baby up on my Deviant Art account. Just go to the Fan Art folder.

* * *

Chapter 2

A second, maybe two or three, wherein both gazes were wide with surprise. For that suspended moment, Naruto catalogued the bright black eyes, the small, parted lips, and the lock of dark hair poking out of the hood. It grazed one faint eyebrow.

The baby laughed. There was no other word for it. He gave a shriek that split his face in joy. The basket positively rocked with the force of his writhing. Those hands reached for Naruto, _strained_ for him.

Naruto stumbled back and burst into tears.

It was bad. He couldn't remember coming this undone since…ever. He'd never been hit this hard by how much life sucked. It was worse than remembering the rape, Sasuke, all of it, because this was _everything_ coming down on his head all at once. And all of it, right then, was summed up in one thought: he'd stabbed his kid. That's how low he'd sunk. Not the rape. Not Sasuke. Not losing everything. That. He'd _stabbed_ him. Tried to kill him. Everything he'd been feeling, all his fury, the thoughts on suicide, were all camouflage for that right there. He'd tried to kill his son.

Yet the first sight of him made the kid happy enough to shit himself.

 _Who am I? Who the hell am I?_

He dropped to his knees, face in his hands, and blubbered. Hard enough to have him tasting blood at the back of his throat. Hard enough so that he was too weak to remain upright. He rocked forward. Tried to hold himself up on his hands. Heard the kid crying right along with him, and gagged. Nothing came up. Kept on crying. Couldn't stop. Now that he was finally letting it out and looking at the worst of the worst of himself he just…couldn't…stop. He had some screams of his own thrown in there. Angry words he bawled at the floor, that he didn't even understand. Then he was punching the floor over and over again, until his knuckles were mush and this pain began to override his rage.

-oOo-

When he finally positioned himself so that he was sitting and leaning against the table, he cradled his hand against his chest and put his head back. Beyond drained. Empty of every thought. Free of every emotion. His hand throbbed. He concentrated on this as he ran his other hand over the snot, tears, and spit on his face. Scrubbed it off on his pants.

The kid wasn't crying anymore, either. Naruto opened his eyes after a good hour. First thing he saw was one of the bear's hind paws. Operating on the first mental clarity he could remember having since hearing Granny tell him he was pregnant, he tried to piece together what was going on.

For whatever reason, Sasuke wasn't here. Guy wouldn't willingly leave the kid, so it stood to reason that if he left voluntarily it was because he'd had to. Some need had required him to be gone. Someplace he couldn't take the kid.

The storm. He supposed the kid couldn't go out in that. Nor had Sasuke notified him that he was leaving, so he must have made arrangements for the kid's care. Likely a clone. No clone now, though, so something had gotten to it. Gotten to it, but left the kid. Probably the bear. And if the kid was still alive that probably meant that he'd defended himself.

 _But the kid's been crying for a good two days._ Which meant Sasuke had to have been gone at least that long. Where would he go for so long and leave only a clone to watch the kid? Why?

Two days.

This amount of time hit him like a sledgehammer. Had him springing to his feet to anxiously lean over the basket. He ignored the exuberant smile to say, "Fuck. Fuck, who fed you?" Not only that but now that he was paying attention, he saw and smelled that the kid was practically bathing in his own shit. He started to reach into the basket for him, recoiled, then picked up the basket instead. Nearly dropped it as his ruined hand screamed in pain. Held the basket under one arm. He stood staring around the kitchen, thinking, then ran with the basket up to Sasuke's room.

* * *

Once there, he stood looking between the kid and the bags. "Okay. Uh. You need to change. Should probably clean you up. Shit." Meant a rag, water, soap. Plus the kid would need to eat. Downstairs. He set the basket down and turned for the door.

An imperious howl had him swinging back, shoulders hunched. " _What."_

Tearful eyes. Whimpering. The hands reaching for him again.

He left anyway.

This time, since he was looking carefully, he saw the empty sack of powdered milk and the powder itself scattered all over the place. There was a single bottle intact amongst the broken remains of other bottles. He plucked this from the floor, harried by the kid's renewed screaming. Straightened up. Looked around. "Suppose I could wash him in the sink. Heat water." It was better than thinking about the fact that he found no other milk in the place. One thing at a time.

He did the best he could, what with his hand. Touching the kid put the hairs up on the back of his neck and had him stiff and awkward. Plus side: didn't drop the kid. He did, however, notice a raw and bleeding rash on his ass that had him frowning. He was as gentle as possible, but the kid seemed more interested in all the touching. Hummed and smiled whenever Naruto was forced to hold some body part. Kicked and squealed when he lifted him out of the sink, dried him, and tried to figure out the cloth diapers. Gave up. The rash worried him.

He put the kid down with a gust of relief. Stood back and ignored the pout. "Now food."

If Sasuke had made a clone, and the clone dispersed, Sasuke would have felt it. Yet he wasn't here. He assumed the crying started when the clone vanished. That meant Sasuke had known two days ago that the kid was on his own. So why wasn't he here?

"He can't get back," Naruto answered himself. "Something happened to him and he can't get back."

This thought struck him like ice on bare skin.

Shit just got real: fuck being pissed at his circumstances and wanting to kill himself…he was stuck in the middle of nowhere with a kid who was literally starving and nothing to feed him with. His partner was gone, possibly dead, and he had one good hand on him. "Holy…shit."

A shudder of panic hit him, but then he saw the kid. Gazing up at him with perfect trust. _And I can't even touch him._

For a long, long time he and the kid stared at each other. He didn't know if it was something the kid did to him, or if he did it himself, but he found himself sinking into a partial trance. The way he did whenever he wanted to talk to Kyuubi or adopt Sage Mode. Whatever, he felt himself disconnect from his surroundings and reconnect someplace beneath his five senses.

His mind touched the kid's.

He tried to hold back the full weight of his feelings. Thought maybe so much ugliness was too much for the kid, but he couldn't. It was all there. The hate, the grief. All the rage.

 _I hurt you._

Naruto gasped. The thought was his, but it was also the kid's. He realized his eyes were closed. Opened them now and found the kid crying along with him. Without screaming this time. Just his black eyes swimming in tears. "No. I'm the one who hurt you. I did. I…" He didn't have the connection anymore, but he felt thoughts swell in his mind, pressed on him from the kid.

 _Darkness. Sensations. Somewhere just out of sight there was a burning, blistering source of food and energy. Connecting himself to it. Siphoning it. Aware of himself as a complex entity. Protecting himself from foreign energies trying to touch him. Welcoming the one familiar energy. Meeting the mind behind the body he lived in. Understanding that this body was in danger. More. That his presence was somehow the reason the body housing him was in danger. Accelerating his growth, his development, so as to spare the body housing him. Trying. Trying to do it quickly, taking all of the blistering food and power source to do so. Then meeting the familiar. His person. Learning the power source also had a mind. This mind was doing things. The familiar told him to stop. Didn't know how to stop. Tried. Felt for the mind of the power source. While the body housing him slept, he found it. It resisted, but he managed. Realizing, with this added awareness, that the body housing him was failing. He was causing it to fail. The body wouldn't last. Accelerating his growth again. Straining for completion. Then he was almost done. Almost ready. And then he was ready. But the body was dying…_

Naruto stumbled back on a hiss. His arm was up, as if that could shield him from the realization that he'd just experienced the kid's perspective on being inside him. The kid had known. Known he was killing him. He looked at the kid.

One dimpled hand reached for him. A hitching breath shook two tears free so that they rolled down the kid's cheeks.

He went to him. Slowly reached into the basket. Lifted him out just as carefully despite the way his hand sang in pain. He held him up to eye level. There were a hundred things he wanted to say. How he wanted to apologize for trying to kill him, but an apology would never be able to touch that. How he forgave him for making him so sick…but he couldn't quite forgive it. How he knew it wasn't the kid's fault he'd died, except it was. How the kid fucking with Kyuubi had broken Sasuke and screwed up Hinata, but the kid hadn't meant it. Everything he wanted to say was somehow negated by his thoughts and feelings on the matter, so he couldn't say anything. Except…

"I will never, _ever,_ hurt you again. Never again."

The kid sucked in a big shuddery breath. Touched his wet face. And Naruto understood that the kid was trying to say the same thing. That he was sorry. So sorry.

Something in him unclenched. A little. It was easier to breathe than it had been since finding out he was pregnant.

-oOo-

His hand was hurting. He switched to holding the kid in his other arm and just stood there awhile. Things weren't good. Not yet. Even if the kid forgave him, he was nowhere near to forgiving himself, but whatever. He couldn't wallow in it anymore. Not right now. There was other shit to deal with.

"Okay. So. The way I see it we got two problems, both major. You need food, and Sasuke needs help. Logic says feed you first, but you look okay for now. Alert. Strong enough to cry and move. Kyuubi's handling you, then. On the other hand, Sasuke could be dying. So it's you or him. Who do I help first?"

Kid just looked at him.

"You. One, I have no idea if it really is Kyuubi or if it's you who's keeping your shit together. On the off-chance it's you, I'm not going to wait until you pass out to feed you. You're already starving. Two, Sasuke's ninja. S-class. He might be on his way back as we speak. Or he could be dead." He tried not to think about that. The kid whimpered at the speculation, but he was speaking again. "Soon as you're fed I'll go look for him, but right now let's deal with you."

The one bottle he'd snagged from the kitchen lay near the basket. There was nothing to put in it. He took the kid with him downstairs to make sure, but a thorough search revealed no more milk in the place. "Must be where Sasuke went. I can see getting food for you being important enough for him to risk leaving you. Okay. We need help." It took some maneuvering but he bit the thumb on his good hand, squatted, and placed his hand on the floor. " _Kuchiose no jutsu."_

The smallish toad hailed him with a shout. He was just grinning back in greeting when a scream from the kid and a flash of lightning had him yelling instead.

He lowered his hand slowly. Checked the kid. Wide eyes, quivering lip, but otherwise unhurt. Looked for his toad. There was nothing but a small black circle, still smoking.

It dawned him, after several seconds of staring at this, that the kid had attacked his toad. He looked back at the kid. "Why the fuck."

Babbling, cooing gibberish. Kid looking at where the toad had been then back to him.

"Huh. Guess now I know for sure what happened to that bear. Good. That's good that you can protect yourself, but not all animals are bad. Look, you want to eat or not?"

A hum.

"Then you gotta let me handle by shit, man, fuck. Let's try this again."

The toad he Summoned this time was smaller. He didn't even get to greet it before the kid vaporized it with another lightning attack.

"What are you not understanding? _The toads are your ticket to food._ "

Kid's eyes filled with tears.

"All right, all _right_. Dammit. I'll figure something out."

That turned out to be him putting the kid upstairs, ignoring the screams when he came back down without him, and Summoning the toad at last. "Have 'Kichi bring me back as many of these milk sacks as he can carry," he instructed. He held up the empty sack for the toad to see. "And get me a dozen of these here baby bottles. Tell him to hurry."

Toad disappeared. Kid continued to scream upstairs while he waited. Thirty minutes later, there was a boom outside. He put his hood up, shielded his face with an arm, and forced the door open. Wind and snow howled past him into the house, but he ran to where 'Kichi was spewing the sacks out of his mouth and began hauling them inside. He was wrecked by the time it was done. 'Kichi managed a bellowed greeting before he left, and he spent a good twenty minutes practically in the fire he subsequently lit before he felt he could move. His head was aching. When he recovered, he turned to the pile of sacks, got one, and went to the kitchen.

* * *

He went through a lot of trial and error before he mixed a batch that he felt tasted like milk. Kid bawled bloody murder the entire time. He warmed the milk on the stove, tested the temp, then filled three bottles. Once he'd screwed the nipples on he went upstairs. Kid was nearly purple. "I'm back."

Kid hiccuped himself to silence. He put a bottle to the kid's mouth, but the kid held it on his own. Drained it. Burped, hummed, and looked at the other two. Naruto gave him the second one. Kid drank it slower than the first, but he emptied this too. Pushed away the third. Rubbed his eyes with his fat little fists.

Naruto watched him fall asleep. Watched while he slept. After awhile, he picked up one of the cloth diapers and once again tried to recreate how he'd seen the thing pinned on him. He thought he managed it after some struggling. Dressed the kid in one of the fuzzy little things he found in a bag. Kid never woke. He found another basket, lined it with a length of fur, put the kid in, covered him, and placed the basket near the fireplace. But not too near. He straightened up and inspected his hand.

He'd been reckless, he decided as he turned his hand this way and that. Always. Never really gave a thought to injuries because he'd always healed from them. Even before he'd known about Kyuubi, he'd been aware of his injuries as being no big deal. He got hurt; he healed. Now he would have to be careful. No more Kyuubi, no more super-healing. Seeing the misshapen mass of his knuckles, he thought he'd be lucky if he ever got back the full use of his hand. It was a sobering thought.

"Anyways. Can't do anything about it now. Sasuke, man. Where _is_ that fucker?"

He stared at the fire as he tried to think. Every time Sasuke'd brought things to the house he'd done so via clones. It stood to reason he'd used clones this time too to bring the milk. Then…what? The clones had gotten lost in the storm? Storm dispersed them? He looked toward the window. Shuttered and iced over. _Sasuke would not have gone out in that unless he knew precisely where he was going_. A specific location. And he would not have left the kid unless he'd known exactly how long he'd be gone. All signs pointed to Sasuke sending clones to get the milk, the clones dispersing on their way back, thus giving Sasuke a location of where the milk probably was, and Sasuke then heading out to those coordinates to get the milk.

"But he's not back. And _I_ have no way of knowing just where he went."

God-fucking- _damn!_ Wasn't like he could just sit around hoping Sasuke found his way back. Second he'd known his clone here was gone Sasuke would have come running. Dude was in trouble. He could feel it. "Wish Kiba was here. Kakashi. Someone who could track his ass." But he was on his own. With a kid. "Guess I can try clones. But if Sasuke's didn't stand up to that storm, mine won't either. Fucking _fuck_ , what am I supposed to do?"

It was no use. He couldn't think about it now. He stretched out on the rug next to the basket and gave himself up to sleep.

* * *

Kid woke him with a questioning gurgle. He was jerking to a sitting position and reaching for the basket before his eyes were even open. "Huh. What. You good?"

A wet fart.

He cocked an ear. "Fucking storm's _still_ kicking. Damn."

Once the horror of changing a diaper was concluded, and the kid had been wiped down, fed, dressed, and deposited back in his basket, Naruto took stock.

He went through the kid's things carefully. There were quite a few of those footless fuzzy jobs, but the thing that interested him the most was some kind of sling. He set that aside. Next he went through Sasuke's things. Set a few items aside. Emptied one of the sacks and put the kid's things and Sasuke's into it, making sure to leave room. Paused in thought. Decided that if he found Sasuke alive, he'd be in no condition to wait around while his clothes were changed. Sasuke would need to be brought back to the house by the most expedient means available. He took Sasuke's clothes out again, picked the bag up, and started to leave the room. This time he turned around at the door and caught the kid just as he was opening his mouth to scream. "Gotta do something downstairs. Be right back."

No crying this time. He packed as much seal meat as the bag would hold, a pot, two bottles, and fashioned a strap for the sack of milk he'd opened yesterday. He left all this downstairs.

Kid greeted him with a smile.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay. You and I are going to find your dad." He began dressing the kid in several layers. "Think my Sage Mode has a range of, meh, a few miles. All that running around I did while Kyuubi was loose gave me a good map of the terrain. All up here." He tapped his head. "So I figure if I section that map up, move through it section by section, I'll eventually sense Sasuke. If he's alive." He shoved and pulled until the kid's over-swaddled body fit into the sling. In his own room, he set the kid down and began dressing in multiple layers himself. "Plus side is he wouldn't have left you at all unless he was going someplace close enough for him to get back within a week or so. That much is just common sense. To hear him tell it, I don't have much sense at all, but we'll see who has the last word. All right." He wrapped a scarf several times around his head, jammed a fur hat down over all that, then went and put the sling on. He looked into the kid's face. "You good?"

A coo.

"Let's go."

* * *

Downstairs, he managed to get the milk sack slung across his body, and the bag onto his back. He was sweating and his hand was killing him by the time he finally made it out the door. He draped one of the heavy fur blankets over him and the kid both and ventured forth.

The wind was punishing. He wrapped both arms around the kid, holding the blanket, and closed his eyes. This would be his first time accessing his chakra since…since he'd stabbed the kid. His arms tightened.

Sage Mode came with so little difficulty that he was almost surprised into losing it again. For a few minutes he was taken with his own body. His heightened awareness of it. How good and fine and vital he felt. Strong. Healthy. And that made the thing in him unclench a little more.

Down to business. He pushed his senses as far and wide as they would go. He estimated close to fifteen miles. To be on the safe side he put that number at twelve. Nothing. No life at all, other than the kid. He opened his eyes and peeked down at him. "Don't sense him. On to the next quadrant. Good?"

A panting little smile.

-oOo-

He could remember telling Sasuke this place was hell on earth. What a joke. He could almost laugh, but it really wasn't funny. Hell was a vacation compared to where they were. For much of their trek he couldn't even walk upright. The wind was so bad he had to crawl. Sometimes he pushed himself, letting Sage Mode fuel leaps and bounds that carried him to the next quadrant and the next in a matter of minutes. He was cold but not frozen. Kid was a miniature furnace. Every few hours he built a shelter of ice blocks, lit a fire with wood he gathered for this purpose, melted some ice, and fixed the kid his bottles. Kid ate. He would change him, clean the diapers with snow, and dry them with his chakra. Then right back into hell he would go, to repeat the process all over again.

Regular days were back. Ten hours of sunlight really helped, but sleeping was hard. He didn't feel confident closing his eyes out in the elements, where anything could come and attack them. True, Sage Mode kept him aware, but better safe than sorry. A shelter only further muzzled his senses, and Sage Mode didn't allow for full rest. He made do. Rested as much as possible every twenty hours or so, then moved on. Always cold, always that wind, always that ice. No sign of Sasuke.

-oOo-

On the third day, he was done with their island and moved on to the mainland. He sensed a few whales beneath the ice. Some bears in the distance. Reindeer. Nothing else.

Kid watched him eat one night while he drank his bottle. "Been thinking," he said. "If I can't find Sasuke, or if he's…you know. Dead. You and me, we're going to have to ditch this place. I can't take it. Question is where do we go?" Right then, it hit him that he had another kid on the way. He almost choked. "Fuck. Forgot about her. Well, she'd be the next thing on the agenda. Finding her ass." He looked at the kid, who was dropping his empty bottle. "You knew, didn't you. Back when you were still in me. Knew she had that kid in her? What, you can feel it?" He handed him the other bottle. "No wonder you always kicked when she was near. Yeugh." He shuddered at the memory. "I'm not going to give up on him," he said after a minute. "Sasuke. I'm not stopping till I find his ass. Dead or alive." He owed him.

It was actually something he gave a lot of thought to during his search. All the ways they'd gone wrong. The unremitting weather, grueling treks, and constant care of the kid served to have that thing in him unclenching even more. Served to put a few things into perspective. It was with some surprise that he felt his mind and spirit slowly realigning themselves. He couldn't say that he wasn't still mad as fuck at Sasuke, but he didn't feel the way he had when last he'd seen him. Or when he'd told him they were over.

That made his heart pound, the fact that he and Sasuke were over. As long as he'd known the guy they'd had _something_ going on. Friends, rivals, enemies, lovers. Point was, they'd always been soul mates. Always been meant for each other in some form or fashion. This break between them…how bad it'd gotten…that wasn't them. He didn't know what would happen when or if they came face to face. He only knew that it was possible for him to think about Sasuke being dead. It hurt, but not as much as it would have before the kid. And that, too, was wrong. Time was he would have lost his fucking mind at such a thought.

 _I don't want him to be dead._

For the first time since Sasuke brought those scrolls home, he saw hope on the horizon. It wasn't much. But it was something.

* * *

Late on their second day on the mainland he almost missed it. He was mid-leap on his way to another quadrant when the sense of Sasuke had him swerving. He fell, rolling in a snow bank. Kid sneezed repeatedly at having snow up his nose. For a minute it was touch and go. There was so much loose snow that he couldn't find leverage. Couldn't get his feet under him. Only when the kid was wheezing in high, gasping sounds of distress did he finally yell and kick himself back to an upright position. Kid was red faced and still gasping, but fine as far as he could see.

He squinted at the land around him until he could bring Sage Mode back. Scanned. There, up ahead. He started running.

All he saw was a wall of ice. He looked around. No bears sneaking up on him. He would sense one long before it became visible anyway. He hated to do it, but he unstrapped the kid and set him down. After a minute he made a clone and deposited the kid in his arms instead. "Anything gets past me, you don't try and fight," he instructed. "You take him and run. Keep running. Don't stop, not until I find you. If something gets past me." Clone nodded. Kid looked between him and the clone.

He turned back to the wall. Tilted his head at it. Touched the hard, slick feel of compact snow that comprised it. Tried to walk around it and discovered it to be a small mountain. Clone followed him. He could feel Sasuke in there, deep inside.

Sage Mode, Summoning, and drying the kid's clothes were one thing. Small shit. Nothing major. He hadn't expended any serious chakra since his recon stint in Konoha. Things were different now, so he wasn't likely to suffer…but things _were_ different. Maybe too different. Kid was out of him, but so was Kyuubi. He didn't know exactly what he could and couldn't do. Was leery of finding out. Leery of discovering himself to be weaker. Far weaker. _I might not even be ninja anymore._

The absurdity of that thought struck him just then. His nerves simmered down to something manageable. Maybe he wasn't what he was, but he was still standing. Whether he could or couldn't get it up anymore was sort of moot; Sasuke was in there. He had to get through that wall.

His chakra was already present and in play. Even so, he shied away from _Ninjutsu_. Sage Mode being what it was, he simply balled up his fist and threw it in front of him.

Half the wall blew apart.

He worked at it, using both fists in a rhythm that had him breathing harder than normal but not panting. Felt good. Wall was gone. He was several feet below ground level when the sense of Sasuke strengthened. Now he just dug. Carefully scooped at the snow, ignoring his numb hands until he touched fur. It was frozen stiff. His stomach did a lurch. Continued scooping and digging until he rolled a blue Sasuke out of the hole he'd been in and dragged him back to the clone. Kid squealed, but he had an ear to Sasuke's chest. Nothing. No breathing, no heartbeat. Sat back and stared. Looked at the clone, who frowned back. Looked back at Sasuke. Put his ear back to his chest. His face. His chest again.

"I don't get it. I _feel_ life in him, but-"

Sasuke coughed. Sucked in a shallow breath.

"Fuck! Sasuke?" No answer. But now he could see him breathing. "Okay. All right. _Whew_."

* * *

This time when he Summoned Gamakichi the kid screamed, but otherwise kept his lightning to himself. He was crying hard, though. Bawled hard enough to vomit when the clone climbed with him into Gamakichi's mouth. He followed with Sasuke, waited, and then he and the clone were climbing out again just outside the village.

They made it to the house, where the kid finally shut up. Hiccuped while he told the clone to change him and feed him. Himself, he hunted around for some means to heat Sasuke up. A tub or something to fill with hot water. He had a fire blazing in the fireplace, Sasuke naked, but he was still blue. Nose, fingers, ears, and toes black. Naruto stood looking at him and chewed his lip.

He remembered disjointed conversations with Hinata about frostbite and its stages. What he was witnessing was the very worst stage. Permanent tissue damage or some such. Ice crystals in the skin, that if moved without splinting the extremities, could cause further damage. And if the person had hypothermia, that introduced a whole other set of problems, none of which he could remember now.

"You'd think I'd have paid closer attention, stuck in this frozen fuckfest the way we are. You," he said to the clone. "Bring him. No, gimme the bottle. Go." The clone vanished in a puff of smoke.

He stripped himself first. "Looks like old-fashioned skin on skin contact is our best bet. He's probably going to lose some digits, though." He was undressing the kid now. "That'll be something, huh? One dad hobbling around on ankle stumps and no hands, and the other with only one hand. " He held up his misshapen hand and studied it. "I can maybe get by with this. Will have to. But Sasuke…" If he lost hands or feet, or even just fingers and toes, there went _his_ life as a ninja. "Whatever. Don't think there's anything I can do about it. Right now, let's just get him conscious, 'kay? Help him any way we can."

He put the kid on Sasuke's chest, and climbed into the furs with them. Sasuke's body was like ice, but he grit his teeth until his own body adjusted. He thought about Sasuke's ability to heat his hands. How he'd used that ability to keep them from freezing when they'd been on their way back to Granny. A lifetime ago. "I can't do all that, but I can stay here till he thaws out." He sighed. Looked at the kid, who had his cheek against Sasuke's chest and was looking at him. "Don't pee on him. Shitty way to wake up."

A grunt.

He shook his head. Looked at Sasuke's face. _I told him we're done but here we are naked in bed._

After several minutes, he was able to relax. Kid put out so much heat that if it weren't for Sasuke's icy body against his he'd have been sweating. His eyes grew heavy. A yawn cracked his jaws, and suddenly he was too tired to do anything but give in. Last thing he saw was the kid. Looked like he was glowing. That was cause for concern, but he couldn't keep his eyes open to save his life.

* * *

Something woke him, but he didn't know what. Wasn't even aware of sleeping. For what felt like weeks he'd been keeping himself alive with chakra and the occasional mouthful of snow. He'd sunken into some kind of stupor wherein his heartbeat was the only thing he concentrated on. The only thing he was aware of. Sound was gone. Sight was gone. He couldn't feel his body, but he knew he was in a depression he'd made in the snow.

Memory surfaced: Taking longer than anticipated to reach the last location of his clones, only to find the spot devoid of the milk he'd expected to find. Belatedly realizing that the sacks had likely been blown to hell and gone. Wanting to tear his hair out at such a simple fact eluding him until the last minute. The storm ripping at him, pummeling him, sapping his strength. Combating with _Ninjutsu_ as he tried to think of a plan to get more milk and quickly. Sitting. And then he'd been jerking back to wakefulness, realizing that he was succumbing to the elements. How impossible this thought was to accept. Using chakra to try and get back, only to feel his clone disperse. That last image of the bear, the way knowledge that his son was in danger had adrenaline coursing through him. Giving him strength. The storm worsening. Blowing him across the land. His screaming rage, _Ninjutsu_ unleashed. Hawks he Summoned torn to shreds. Weakening. Food gone. Bag gone. Deciding to wait out the storm. Things gradually becoming quiet as his body shut down. Forcing himself to live. Eating snow, sucking on ice. Telling himself Naruto was in the house. Naruto was in the house. The baby wasn't truly alone because Naruto was in the house. And the baby had powers at his disposal. He wouldn't let himself die. He would be all right. Please God, let him be all right. Everything was numbness and darkness.

But now he was warm. Very warm. And the numbness was gone. In fact, everything hurt. He realized that he was awake, that he'd been sleeping, and that he was staring at a ceiling. When he turned his head he saw a shock of bright hair he would know anywhere. Memory of him awaking in the shack after a similar brush with death and seeing this same sight assailed him. He lifted a hand to shove at Naruto and met with something on his stomach. Soft. He looked down and gasped. Looked at Naruto. The baby. Back at Naruto. Both were sleeping. And his strength was already gone again. He eased his head back down and rested his hand on the baby.

Clearly a lot had gone on while he'd been away, but this was beyond his wildest imaginings. He was home. Naruto was beside him, and the baby was present. He could almost believe he was dreaming. Almost believe he'd woken from the nightmare at last to find his family—his _family_ —put together.

But…

"Naruto. _Naruto_. NA-"

"Huuuu _uuuuuuuh._ Fuck. See I'm sleeping, don't you?" The rest was a grumble as he turned from his stomach to his side. Then, "Wait. Sasuke?"

"The fuck happened?" Naruto's back was to him but he was so still and quiet that Sasuke knew he was awake. A screech startled him into a sitting position. The baby was also awake and now greeting him. Sasuke brought him to his face and touched noses. Settled him in the crook of one arm. "Naruto?"

A sigh. But Naruto turned over and sat up as well. After a minute he looked at them.

"So." Naruto's eyes were guarded, his voice subdued. "You look better."

"What. Happened."

"Like, _really_ better." He squinted at Sasuke's hands, his face. Jerked the blanket aside to see his feet. "Your stuff feeling okay?"

Sasuke looked down at his hands and feet. Flexed his toes, wiggled his fingers. The pain he'd woken up with was mostly gone. There was some tingling, but nowhere near the damage he could expect from the amount of exposure he'd suffered. No damage at all, he decided upon inspecting himself more closely. He frowned. "How long was I gone?"

"No idea, but it took me almost a week to find you."

"How long have we been back?"

"Dunno. Few hours?"

"What happened?"

"Kid was screaming one day. Just screaming and screaming. By the time I went downstairs I realized you weren't here. There was a bear. Dead. Kid blasted him, I think. If you left a clone, it wasn't there. Milk was gone, bottles all smashed. Realized you'd been gone awhile. Fed the kid-"

"How? With what?"

"Summoned a toad, told him to have Gamakichi bring me as many sacks of milk as he could carry and some bottles. That didn't occur to you? To use a Summons instead of going out into that?" He jerked a thumb at where the storm could still be heard outside the window.

A Summons. To bring the milk. Pure, simple genius. "No…it didn't."

"Well after, I figured the only reason you weren't back was because you couldn't _get_ back. Took the kid and went searching. Found you." He shrugged. Looked away.

"Wait, _what?_ That storm nearly killed me. How the hell did _you_ survive? For days? _With_ the baby?"

Naruto had to grit his teeth. He didn't like the automatic assumption that he was weaker now. "Sage Mode. Not saying it was easy, but I managed. Kept the kid bundled up and in that sling." He pointed. "Against my body."

"Against your—oh, so what. You accept him now? Talking to me again?" He snorted. "As far as I'm concerned, nothing's changed. You said we're over and that's it. We're done." He made it to his feet. Naruto didn't stop him. Shaking his head, Sasuke wrapped the furs around himself and left the room.

-oOo-

They'd been in his room, he saw. Which meant all his things and the baby's things were in there with Naruto. He went downstairs.

No sign of the bear's carcass, but the kitchen was a mess. Down in the basement he found so much milk that he couldn't even make it off the stairs. He stood staring at this.

Trust Naruto to go overboard. That was Naruto for you. He went big or not at all. Didn't just bring milk, but brought enough to feed the baby until the boy turned twenty. Didn't just get depressed but went totally and completely apeshit. Didn't just get over it, but took to the baby like he'd always accepted him, and rescued his ass into the bargain. Uzumaki Naruto. Number one unpredictable asshole.

Maneuvering the blanket so he and the baby were swaddled, he sat down.

 _I'm not ready for this._

That thought had him paralyzed. Fear, real fear, gnawed at his mind. He'd been months without Naruto now. The real Naruto, a healthy, capable ninja. Months. He was used to being alone, being without. Used to shouldering the entire burden, of having to be sufficient, to do without the calming, steadying influence that was Uzumaki Naruto. He wasn't ready for Naruto to be back, not now that he'd given himself to the knowledge that they were done. Not now that so much had…happened. Back before the baby, he'd been able to withstand Naruto's force, his brilliance, but now that he himself was so bruised…now that he was crippled and empty and resigned to his fate…no. He wasn't ready. Could never go back.

A noise had him twisting to look up the staircase. Naruto was in the kitchen. And he felt terrified.

* * *

Over the days that followed, that terror receded with the storm. He was left with a pervading sense of disquiet that reached a peak whenever Naruto was in his presence. He kept the baby with him. Naruto didn't ask to see or hold him, but he didn't shy away from looking at him if they all happened to be in the same room. Neither did he stare. He glanced, same as he glanced at both of them, then went on about his business. He ate, or cooked, or lit fires. Most of the time he cleaned. He single-handedly put the kitchen back in order. Chiseled away all the ice surrounding the house. Went out and brought back firewood galore.

By comparison, he himself did nothing but take care of the baby. He could tell Naruto was on the baby's mind. That he missed whatever they'd shared while he'd been gone, but he didn't cry about it. And Naruto never asked to spend time with him.

If it weren't for one of the toads showing up one day with bags of baby clothes and diapers in various sizes he would have guessed Naruto didn't think about the baby at all. When he saw a baby book thrown in with the clothes, Sasuke decided enough was enough.

But he didn't break their silence. He did, however, follow Naruto up to Hinata's old room. He hadn't been in it since before she'd left so he was surprised to see a crib and a wardrobe. Naruto was putting the clothes in the wardrobe.

Naruto turned and saw him. Looked at the baby. Back at him. "I'm ready to talk if you are. If not, we can just keep orbiting each other." He moved to walk past him.

" _Oh_. So now, after kicking me out of your life, you think you have a right to talk things through. Why is it okay now, but when I tried to do that it wasn't?"

Naruto dropped the basket he was carrying. It held toys that Sasuke only just noticed. "Because I wasn't ready before. Fuck, I was out of my mind. Hinata. That kid. It'd _just_ been sprung on me and my head wasn't where it is now, okay? Shit happened. While you were gone, shit happened."

"Like _what?_ "

"Like shit! Shit I can't talk about because it hurts too fucking much."

"Then what _do_ you want to talk about?"

Naruto sighed. Walked back into the room. Turned. Stared at him. "You. Me. Us. _This_." He waved a hand to encompass everything.

Sasuke stared back.

"We need to talk. I want to talk. I feel like…I don't know. Like if we don't talk, we really might split up. And I can't take that."

Something surged up Sasuke's throat fast and hard, but he viciously choked it down. "Aren't we?" he croaked. "Split up? Isn't that what you said?"

Naruto didn't back down or flinch. His eyes didn't blink. "Yeah. I did. But we're still here. And I'm ready to talk. You?"

The situation wasn't getting better on its own. There was literally nothing else to do. And the thing still choking him wasn't fear. "Yes. Okay. But this isn't just going to be on your terms. I'm putting the baby to sleep in an hour." He glanced at the crib. "We'll talk then."

"Fine. Wanna eat first, or-?"

"No. We'll talk. Downstairs."

-oOo-

For that hour, Sasuke fed the baby, bathed him, and dressed him in one of the new things Naruto'd brought. Naruto, putting away toys and other things in the new nursery at the time, turned to watch this. Their eyes met, then skipped away. Naruto left the room.

Sasuke went to the crib. Ran a hand along the dark wood railing. It was sturdy. "Feels weird having your dad do stuff for you. Used to doing everything myself. But it's preferable to the way he was before. You miss him?"

Gurgling.

"Me too. So fucking much. And this, the way he is now? I didn't think I'd ever see it again. He's not the way he was, but it's much more than I thought I'd get." He set the baby down in the crib. Took a moment to experimentally press the mattress. Stroked the sheet fitted onto it. It was soft. There was an equally soft blanket, not fur, folded in the crib. He took this up and draped it over the baby before resting his chin on the railing. "He might still leave us, you know. Got no idea what he wants to say, but I'm not walking away from this talk without a few answers." He looked at the crib again, then turned and looked at everything else the nursery contained. A large, plastic tub shaped like a frog. Not only a wardrobe, but a dresser as well, the top of which was covered with baby lotions, creams, soaps, and items he guessed were for baby care. Perhaps the most incongruous thing was a large colorful rug on the floor, covered in letters and numbers.

The knowledge that Naruto accepted the baby did disastrous things to his resolve to remain aloof. Not only accepted, but apparently had plans to stay. The furniture, the clothes. Either he planned to stay or Naruto expected him to stay, and that brought the fear back all over again. The hope was too much to be borne. He didn't think he could take losing it all again. He was at his limit.

He cleared his throat. "Right. Well. Time to find out what's what." He left a clone and shut the door.

* * *

Naruto was sitting in one of the armchairs. Sasuke took the one across from him, rubbed his palms along his thighs, and forced himself to sit back.

Night and day were firmly established once more. The sun was out for twelve hours every day, but as it was currently night the room was lit by the fireplace and several candles. Whole place was warm and toasty, and he thought, _This moment right here. If I could freeze it I would stay here forever. Before he says anything. Before he rips us apart more or gives me hope I'll never be able to believe in._ The wait wasn't long.

"I haven't been fair to you," Naruto said. He was leaning forward, elbows on his knees. Staring at his hands. "And that's not actually how I want to begin, but whatever. I haven't been fair to you. And you're right, you do deserve to hear what happened while you were gone, but it's too close. Too close to…stuff. Me. Stuff in me that's raw and shit. So I'll get to it? But not right now. Cool?"

"Fine. How haven't you been fair?"

Here Naruto gave a short huff. Ran his good hand through his hair. "I can tell this is going to be all sorts of uncomfortable, but fuck it. I'm just going to say what needs to be said. Been through too much to hold back now, anyway." He looked at Sasuke and held his gaze. "I get it, okay? I was the one to snap first. Checked out of us first. Left you, got caught up in the pregnancy, got scared. I know that now. And I guess it's why you…you know. Started slipping yourself. We sort of hold each other in place. One of the things that happened while you were gone is that I did a lot of thinking. Was forced to. I think the first thing I realized while I was out looking for you was that we both broke. Without each other we're just broken. I don't know. I'm not great at talking or saying embarrassing shit like you are, but sometimes I think we're only whole when we're together."

Sasuke swallowed. Spent several moments blinking at his lap. " And now?"

"Now? We're still broken. And I don't think we can be whole together because it's not just _us_ anymore. There's the kid. And Hinata. And _that_ kid. And right now, Sasuke, right now I need to know why you let me do those things to you. No more bullshit. None of that stuff you said when you came back after dipping for two weeks. I believed it at the time but you weren't giving me everything. You're not fine. I'm not fine. And I need to know why. _Why,_ in the name of God, would you let me run wild like that? I'm not saying that what happened was your fault, or mine, but you should have put me in check. You should have had my ass locked down. You didn't. Why?"

Having it all thrown in his face like that had him dropping his head into his hands. It was a few minutes before he could respond. _He's right. This is going to be all sorts of uncomfortable._ "The truth. Okay. The truth. The truth was that I had to protect her. I _had_ to. I'm ninja. A ninja protects. At all costs. No _matter_ the cost. He does what needs to be done. What kind of person would I have been if I didn't do everything to protect her? The truth is that you're mine. The good, the bad, all of it. All of you. You went Kyuubi, and that was _my_ problem. Not hers. You weren't you, weren't even there, but it was still my man. The truth is…the truth is…Hinata. She's…something. I don't know what, but she's something. To me. And I couldn't let you hurt her."

This was it, Naruto thought. The crux of this thing keeping them apart. What he dreaded hearing, yet needed to know. "Do you love her? I know I asked that before, and you said no, but…do you?"

Sasuke's fingers tightened in his hair. A sound escaped him, one that defied description. "I don't know. No. I don't know what I feel. It's not what I feel for you. Not love. But it's not nothing. I love _things_ about her. Things I can't explain. Can't even identify. But not her."

Naruto swallowed. It was painful, but no more painful than the knowledge that he'd raped her. It was bad on both fronts—knowing he'd violated her, and knowing Hinata now had a part of Sasuke that had previously been reserved only for him. God, how that hurt. Then he remembered the kid in her and that pain dwarfed everything. He sat clenching his jaw for several moments. "So now what?"

"Chuh. Now?" Sasuke picked his head up and passed a hand down the tears on his face. For a long time he just stared at the fire and felt as if his insides were burning just as hard. "You know, the idea of our mortality is something ninja are well-acquainted with. Death will come. Probably violently. Painfully. Hopefully protecting something important. We all know and accept this. But this? Coming up here to this corner of hell? For the first time I understand how truly weak I am. How weak we all are. Insignificant. Nothing. I came up here to protect you and the baby, and couldn't even protect myself. The _elements_ defeated me. I was defeated by you. My own weakness, my pride and belief that letting you…" He closed his eyes. "A girl. A girl whom I have always considered to be the definition of weak defeated me every day with a _word_. A glance. The smell of her hair." He covered his face with a hand. "What now? No idea. News of the baby is out. Hinata's out there. Tsunade. I have no clue what comes next. None."

Naruto stared at Sasuke's bent head for a long time and knew hatred so pure it was sweet. The feeling mesmerized him. That it had nothing to do with Sasuke or the baby this time somehow made it more compelling. "Well. I asked for the truth and you gave it. Hinata _is_ out there with her kid, and I was thinking awhile back how if I couldn't find you that I'd have to find her. Now I'm thinking she ain't my problem. She can stay gone for all I care. Besides. Me and that kid in her…" He clenched his jaw. "We're connected. Might not be tomorrow, or next month, or even anytime soon, but one day that mess will walk back into my life. I'll deal with it then. As far-"

"I hate her. Hate that she's in me. Hate that you're in her. You asked me if I love her, but I _hate_ her. Hate the way I l– feel about her. How I can't fight it. _Yes_. Okay. I…love her. But I hate loving her. Loving her makes me hate her, and I don't _want_ her."

"Yes you do." Naruto held his breath at the pain of that. "You do."

"I don't. I'm serious, I don't. I hate her, I hate that kid in her."

"You and I both. So does this mean that if she came back you'd kill her? Her and the kid?"

Sasuke lifted his head to give him a stare. A look so flat and cruel it was like looking into a mirror and seeing his feelings on Sasuke's face.

Naruto looked away on a shudder. "Okay. Whatever. If she knows what's good for her she'll stay away. As far as what comes next, I don't know either. Thought I was the only one feeling lost. Like I was nothing."

"Well, you're not. It's like you said. We're broken."

Naruto nodded. "Thought about killing myself. Really just doing it. Didn't see anything to live for since everything I knew was gone."

"Didn't?"

"I still might." He picked at a loose thread on the arm of the chair. "Look. If you're weak, then so am I. I'm the same nothing. Except we're not. We're parents. Right? We got the kid. Which means protecting him. Keeping him safe. So, I've been thinking about that. And about something you said to me right after we got here, while I was freaking out. How this could be our land? Not too long ago I was eager to see the last of this place, but now I'm not so sure. I think you're right. We can't go back. No idea what we'd be running into if we did. Also? I don't _want_ to go back. I'm not that guy anymore, with hopes and dreams of serving Konoha. Don't think I ever will be again. So this, right here, is it for me. We know the terrain. It's defensible. You yourself said you have no intention on going back. Still feel that way?"

"Definitely. But so, what. We put down roots?" He thought of the crib.

Naruto nodded. "I mean, we're here already, right?"

"People know we're here, though."

"And we'll see them coming. Our job right now, maybe our only job, is to keep the kid safe. Whatever else comes we'll deal with, but keeping him safe won't just be about protecting him from an attack. People want him, Sasuke. That's not going to change. To take him or kill him, he's always going to be a target. Which means we need to…I don't know. Teach _him_ how to be safe. We're not always going to be here. We might get taken out. Or a thousand other things might happen. We need to protect ourselves as well as him. However we do it, though, I'm done running. So yes. Right here is where we put down roots. This is home."

Sasuke looked at him without blinking, and Naruto matched his stare. There was more to be said and they both knew it. " _We_ have to protect him, _we_ won't always be here, _we're_ parents," Sasuke said. "That all sounds like you plan on staying. With me. Like you've accepted the baby. That you're his father too. Have you?" _Don't you dare break me again. Don't you dare._

"I guess. I mean, what's to accept? It's like I said before, I'm his father whether I accept it or-"

"Naruto."

Now Naruto was the one to place a hand over his eyes. His voice, when he could speak, was so soft it was barely a whisper. "Do you know he remembers being in me? That he knew he was killing me?"

" _What?"_

"Stuff I found out while you were gone. I can barely look at him sometimes. Knowing I tried to…tried to kill him's the main reason I think about offing myself. Can't live with it, can't take it. But he knew he was killing me. Tried to grow quickly to spare me. All that shit with Kyuubi…it was an accident, him trying to keep me out of danger. He's sorry. And I'm sorry. So. Fucking. Sorry. But I will never, Sasuke, _ever_ feel worthy of being his father. All I did was hate him, and then I tried to kill him. Fathers don't do that. I'll never hurt him like that again, and I mean it. I will be here for him. Protect him. Give him whatever I have, whatever good that's left in this world, but I can't… I can't…"

Sasuke's hand was covering his mouth. "Okay. Okay. Naruto, it's okay-"

"Huh! No, it's not. That will never be okay." He removed his hand to reveal streaming eyes. "But I can spend the rest of my life trying to make it okay. Won't succeed, but I can try. That's why I don't kill myself. Yet. I don't deserve the easy way out. And he needs us. We're responsible to him. Responsible _for_ him. Without us, who does he have? Yes. As much as I can, I accept that he's mine."

He couldn't imagine what Naruto was feeling. To have that kind of guilt staring you in the face. Killing his brother somehow wasn't the same. But this still wasn't over. "And…us?"

"Us. Yeah. I don't know."

"Meaning? I thought you couldn't take the idea of us being apart."

 _That was before you told me you love Hinata._ He took a cleansing breath and focused on Sasuke. "What it _means_ is I got Hinata pregnant. You…love her. That's all with us now. Will never go away. I'm not sure I know how to be with you anymore. Not sure I know how to be with myself, fuck. I can't get the rape out of my head, or forget her screams, or the fact that as long as she and I live we will never forget, can never forget, because her kid will be running around reminding us. No hope that thing will die in her either, or die afterward. I know it. I _feel_ it. It'll be strong, it'll live, and God only knows what'll happen then. God only knows." He blinked. "She wanted to fuck me. And I mean seriously rip my clothes off and fuck me senseless. Felt that too. And since we're being all honest and shit, you can't sit there and tell me you didn't feel it. I don't love her, and I know I would have done it if she'd stayed in the house another hour. You, who do love her, would have been right behind me. And you're asking me what about us? I don't know, Sasuke. Why don't you tell me?"

"I don't want her–"

"You don't _want_ to want her. But you do. If I have to live with raping her, why can't you live with loving her?" His eyes were merciless.

"Because that wasn't _you_."

"And according to you, you don't want her. Same diff."

Sasuke looked away.

"You lied to me for her. Lied right to my face. More reason why I have no idea about us. Got words on that?"

"I'm sorry. Okay?"

"No, it's not okay, Sasuke. That's why we're having this conversation. I don't…I don't know if you love me anymore–"

"Holy fucking–"

"But I do know that I don't feel the same. I love you, but shit's different. So until I figure out the differences, I don't know about us. And frankly, I don't want to know. Not right now. Do you hate me?"

Sasuke managed to close his mouth and blink his bulging eyes. "No." He licked his lips. "No, Naruto, I–"

"But you've lied to me before. And if you love me, you don't love _only_ me anymore. Another thing I find really hard to live with."

Sasuke was silent a minute. "I'm finding it hard to live with, too. Impossible, actually."

Neither of them spoke for some time. Sasuke found it difficult to meet the directness of Naruto's gaze. It was like ice. Like the storm that had eventually forced them together again. Volatile, angry, and mutinous were those eyes. But then they blinked and looked away, and Sasuke felt he could breathe.

Naruto cleared his throat. "About what I did to you. No, don't say it wasn't me. Let's just stop using that line, okay? Thanks. I know no words can erase what happened, or bring back what we were. I know that. This isn't going to be solved with talking. But if it means anything at all, I'm sorry. For everything. Everything I did, or made you feel, or forced you to do. And the kid. Making him. I'm sorry about all of it. It wasn't in my control."

 _Well, he didn't break me again. We were already broken._ "I know. And I hope you know how sorry I am too. For my part in it. You're right, this won't be solved with talking, but I'm glad we _are_ talking again. I'm not sure where we go from here." He took a deep breath. "But I love you. I know that much. I'm not leaving, if that means anything."

"It does."

"Do you really love me?"

A nod. "Main reason this is killing me so bad. Feel like you're mine, that what we have is…I don't know the word. Something you can't fuck with ever. Like religion or something. But you and Hinata…it's killing me, Sasuke."

"Then _be_ with me. Help me forget her."

"I can't."

Sasuke tried to accept this. Couldn't. "You said we're only whole when we're together. Do you think we can ever be whole again?"

"Already said I don't know. I don't think so. Not like before. Before, you and I were the only pieces to the whole. Now, like I also said, there are other pieces. It's going to take some figuring out." He wanted to ask how serious was the thing with Hinata, but didn't. He was very aware of the fact that Sasuke had lied to him. Might have lied about sleeping with her. Having a demon use your body to rape someone, and having sex with a girl you had feelings for were two very different things. He didn't have the strength to hear anymore about the two of them, if there was more. Could barely hold it together as it was.

They ended up just looking at each other. Most of the hostility was gone, but not all. It was a look neither of them could ever remember sharing. Measuring. Assessing. Noting the differences in each other's eyes. They'd gone through hell together, but emerged separate. Changed. Forged into something new. Less smiles for Naruto, who was no longer carefree. Sasuke's arrogance, the subtle air of superiority he'd had, was gone. The cockiness they'd both carried, the cockiness of lingering youth and ignorance, was absent. It had been replaced with new knowledge of the world and its terrors. The obsession they'd had with each other, the intensity of which had blinded them to these terrors, an intensity which could only be sustained by the young and ignorant, was finally at an end.

They were men.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"I mean he's three and a half months, he should have a name."

"Good. Great. Name him."

"But I don't want to do it myself. You've been participating. You know, with him. As his other father." Sasuke paced up and down, bouncing the baby in one arm. "Which I appreciate."

A sigh. "And?"

"So help, what."

Naruto turned another page. "I am. Said name him."

"Got any suggestions?"

"Whatever."

"Like, a good name."

"Minato."

"Something that really embodies him and how special he-"

"Itachi."

"-that really sticks with a person after they hear it, like-"

"Uchiha Sasuke."

"…What?" He stopped pacing. "What."

Naruto closed the baby book. He was sprawled on his stomach, but now turned over and dropped a forearm over his eyes. "Throwing out suggestions. You like your name, right?"

"Don't be an ass. A real name."

"What about-"

"Something strong, like Ikioi or Ryouichi."

"Fine. That."

"Which?"

"First one."

"Ikioi?"

"Yup."

"You like it?"

"Matters?"

"Yeah. It does."

"Fine. It's cool. I can call him Icky."

"That's _not_ -"

"Uchiha Ikioi."

Sasuke stopped beside him and gazed down. "He's Uzumaki."

Naruto slowly moved his hand so that he could stare up at Sasuke's face. It was serious. "No, he's not."

"I said I'm not rebuilding my clan."

" _I_ said I'm not worthy of him."

"He's yours."

"No-"

"And he's Uzumaki. Period. End of discussion. Here." He set the baby on Naruto's stomach and ignored his squawk of indignation. "I'm going to get his bottles."

Naruto held the kid up at arm's length a second, then just gave up and brought him down. Sat up. Glared at the doorway. Looked at the kid. "He thinks I don't notice him pushing you at me more and more. I say I'm going to give fatherhood a shot, he goes and runs with it. Now you're Uzumaki on top of it." He crossed his eyes, making the baby squeal. "Well. Not like I mind. Much. I mean I do, but fuck him." He stared at the small, inquisitive face looking up at him.

The best he could do to describe things between him and Sasuke since the talk was awkward. They were both trying, both striving to be as normal and unconcerned as possible when they each had a wealth of resentment they were carrying around. But it was that or let boredom and isolation drive them insane. The worst, in his opinion, was whenever he and Sasuke had to sit around with nothing to talk about. He could all but feel Sasuke trying to come up with a topic of conversation, just as he was wishing equally hard that none would be found. He hated talking to Sasuke; just made him that much more aware of the fact that he'd lost him.

Except, if Sasuke's behavior was anything to go by, he hadn't lost him. That was something else that caused him anxiety. The fact that Sasuke wanted to fuck.

He'd given it a modicum of thought. Possibly more than that. Okay, he'd spent hours on the subject, arguing with himself. Why, he didn't know. He felt no desire whatsoever around Sasuke. He just felt like he should. It was a habit. Muscle memory. He was used to touching Sasuke, used to kissing him, smelling him. Screwing his brains out. Used to Sasuke pouncing on him every chance he got. Sasuke wasn't pouncing, but there were definitely some looks. Especially during the uncomfortable silences. He'd glance over, see a look, and just wish he were dead for real. As if things couldn't get any worse.

Last week he did address it, pushed to a point near violence. "The fuck you looking at."

"You."

"Obviously. Why."

"Nothing else to look at."

"Oh. Thought you wanted something."

"I do want something. I want you."

"Huh."

"And let me be clear on that. By you, I mean all of you. You might think I'm scarred from being Kyuubi's bitch, and I am, but I've processed that already. I'm ready to fuck. And I'd like to be fucking you. All day. All night. In every position, on every surface, as creatively and inventively as possible. That. That's what I want." He paused. "But it's not just about fucking. I miss you. I love you and miss you and need you. The nightmare's over, Naruto. Finally over. There's a shitload of bad coming our way, but _us_ , you and me…we're okay now. You're not sick, I'm not distracted. I want us back. We both need to heal and I think we're the only ones who can heal each other. I want to hold you, Naruto. Just bury my dick to the hilt in your body and hold you forever. I want to kiss you until you can't breathe and you beg me to stop the way you do. I want _you_. You said the differences would take some figuring out. Figured them out yet?"

As if he could possibly be capable of speech after _that_. His heart was pounding fit to burst, but he managed to continue staring at the wall as if he couldn't care less. "You want those things. I want to be the only one in your heart."

"You _are_."

"Hinata."

"Is irrelevant. I won't lie, I feel something, or felt something, but it doesn't touch what you mean to me. Don't you think if it did that I would have been fucking her the entire time you were gone? It could have been my kid in her, but it's not."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean? And I have no way of knowing whether or not you did fuck her."

"Naruto-"

"Leave me alone."

"All I said was-"

"Sasuke. Look. You might as well know that this is as good as it's likely to get between us. Period. We aren't having a fight, or temporarily on bad terms. We've broken up. I'm not yours anymore, you're not mine. We have a kid. But that's all we have." And then he'd escaped upstairs.

Needless to say, Sasuke pitched one of his silent treatments for a good three days. His relief from the communication attempts was enormous, but then he'd gotten bored again.

-oOo-

Sasuke came back with the bottles. He passed them over just as he himself was handing Sasuke the kid. "Feed him. You always feed him."

"You should feed him tonight." Sasuke tucked the bottles into Naruto's armpit. "And we should alternate from now on."

"You're really dragging it."

"Hey, you're the one who wants to spend the rest of his life making up to him for how you-"

"All _right_. God." He plunked his ass back on the floor and gave the kid a bottle. Held the second one in his good hand. "Yo."

"What." Sasuke snagged the book and leafed through it. He'd read it several times already.

"Kid's got-"

"Ikioi."

"Kid's-"

" _Ikioi_."

Naruto grit his teeth. "Icky's got some crazy healing powers."

Sasuke glanced up from the book. "True. Your point?"

"Well, I'm thinking how crazy? I know he brought me back from the dead and healed your frostbite, but can he heal himself?"

Sasuke closed the book, frowning.

"Because he had this rash, but he didn't heal it. Went away over the next few days, while I was looking for you. And for those two days you were gone-"

"I was gone four days when I felt my clone disperse."

"… _What?_ "

"I told the clone I'd be gone five days. Tops. Fourth day I felt it vanish, knew about the bear, but I couldn't get here. What made you think two days?"

"Kid– _Icky–_ was crying _._ For well over a day. I thought you were here, that you were letting him cry to prove some point to me. When I went downstairs I saw the bear and shit. Realized you weren't here. That you had to have been gone at least as long as the kid –Icky–was hollering."

"You let him cry for _two days?"_

"My point is that he went all that time without food or rest. But when I went to him he seemed totally fine. Happy to see me."

"He was?"

"Yeah. Really happy. Anyways, you think that was his healing?"

Sasuke watched Ikioi drain the second bottle. "I don't know. Sounds like he just has a strong constitution. Like you did. When you had Kyuubi."

"That's another thing. He needs to start learning how to use that."

"Use what. Kyuubi?"

"Yes! I know he has the lightning and stuff, but-"

"What lightning? How? When?"

Naruto related the story of his toads. "So I think he's scared of animals. But if that's all he's got going for him-"

Sasuke Summoned a hawk slightly smaller than himself. Ikioi, in the process of falling asleep, shrieked at once. A moment later, a bar of lightning had Sasuke diving to one side.

The hawk was gone. There was a smoking crater in the wall behind where it'd stood.

"Next time do that outside," Naruto said. He tried to calm a whimpering Icky.

Sasuke studied the crater. "That's not all he has going for him. He's got those eyes."

"What eyes?"

Sasuke told the story of Naruto's resurrection.

Naruto gawped. "I'll kill her. I swear to God I will kill that bitch the next time I see her. She told me _none_ of that. _Seriously?_ All _three?_ "

"Saw it with my own eyes."

"Fuck me." Naruto looked down. Icky was falling asleep again. "Has there ever been a ninja with all three?"

"Not to my knowledge."

"How does that even _work?_ " He was whispering.

Sasuke got up, took the baby, and tucked him into his crib. He made a clone. "Let's talk in my room."

* * *

Once in there, they settled themselves cross-legged from each other. "I honestly don't know," Sasuke said. "I've been over it and over it. _Eternal_ _Mangekyo_ alone nearly fried my brain, and that's just an upgrade from _Mangekyo_. To have all three _Doujutsu_ at once… Naruto, the strength of mind that would require…the amount of sheer _brain_ power…it's ridiculous. Like, I literally cannot wrap my head around it. And you should have seen him. Switching them out like he was under no strain. I mean, it was obviously new and difficult for him, but he knows what the eyes do, I think. He knew what he needed wasn't any of those three, but Kyuubi. And that was just to carry him to you, I think. The only one of those three I know for sure that has power over life and death is _Rinnegan_. Was probably what he used when all that chakra blasted out of him. I didn't get to see, exactly, so I can't even be sure about that."

Naruto tugged on his lip. "So he _can_ use the demon."

"I think so? I saw him use that chakra cloak. The one you used to shield me on our run to Konoha? And again after Madara cut me? He made those arms."

"Are you _fucking_ _kidding_ me right now."

"No. There's more. He can do Madara's space/time jutsu. Used it to put himself at your side. You were up here, we were downstairs. I looked over and he was just…gone."

"Unbelievable. How have we _not_ been talking about this for the past two weeks?"

"There's more-"

"Shit!"

"But I don't know if you're okay to talk about it."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"It's about Hinata. And that kid in her."

Naruto had been leaning forward, intently focused on Sasuke's words. Now he rubbed his hands down his face and leaned back. "No. Give it to me straight."

"Right, well Tsunade tried to kill Ikioi after you'd…passed. She-"

"Hinata mentioned this, but she didn't give me details. I want the blow-by-blow. Leave nothing out."

"Hn. Where do you want me to start?"

Naruto thought. "The Kitchen. I remember going down the stairs, bleeding, hurting. I got to the kitchen, and saw Hinata. Just like that, the rape came back to me. I…did what I did with the kid, then I was down. You were there. Remembered what I did to you too, then I blacked out. Start right there."

Those were painful memories, but Sasuke brought them up and complied.

Naruto was leaning forward again. Frowning in concentration. Focused completely on Granny's actions with him, the surgery, how she tried to save him, and then admitting that she'd failed. Here he blinked, hearing Sasuke's account of his death for the first time.

"It was just…death was impossible in my mind," Sasuke whispered. "The Uzumaki Naruto I knew just couldn't die. Never mind that I'd seen you dead once before. You're eternal. Unbreakable. Least, I thought you were." He looked aside. Wiped his face. "It was horrible. _The_ worst thing I've ever experienced. Ever. I just knew you'd wake up. Knew it like I know my name, know your smile. All I had to do was wait. Your body would bounce back, you'd wake up, and everything would finally be okay. But you didn't. You didn't wake up. You were really gone. Thought I'd die right along with you. Really did."

He watched Sasuke inhale a shaky breath and marveled that a year ago this same man wouldn't have been capable of showing this much vulnerability. Or any vulnerability. He gave him a few moments, wherein he was able to ignore the way his own eyes burned. "And then?"

"Then Tsunade. But Hinata did what I asked beautifully. You should have seen it."

And he almost could. Sasuke gave such a detailed account of the fight that followed that he was able to close his eyes and envision the whole thing. Something caught his attention, though. "Stop. Right there. When did her chakra manifest?"

"About midway through the fight."

"And it was the same as when she healed Icky?"

"Yes and no. It was the same, but externalized."

"And then?"

"Tsunade rushed her and the chakra…flared. She punched right through Tsunade's chest. Ripped her arm clean off. Tore it off with such force that she almost tore the woman herself in half. Would have, if the arm hadn't come free."

That right there had him looking at Sasuke again. "Were you close enough to see details? Like her eyes? Hands?"

"No. Why?"

A suspicion. "Go on."

"Think Tsunade disappeared. She was gone, at any rate. You think all of that was from the kid in Hinata?"

He was several minutes answering, putting bits and pieces together. It was painful to hear about how Hinata healed Icky, but he filed away the details of that too. "It's Kyuubi."

" _What?_ "

"I raped Hinata. Left. Came back, and the second I did the kid started acting weird. Moving and shit. Looking back on it, I couldn't have been gone for more than a day or two after the rape. Right?"

"More or less."

"So that baby grew in her immediately. Icky sensed it immediately. Kicked and twirled every time Hinata was near me. Icky feels that kid. And I think it's because of Kyuubi. Zoom over to that other kid now. I think he does the same thing Icky did when he was in me; protects himself. Sounds like he's protecting Hinata in order to do it. That's not what scares me, though. It's _how_ he's protecting himself. Icky never displayed that much power in me, not even when I was months along. Worst he did was undo the seal. Foxed Out me wasn't as strong as you're saying Hinata is."

"You threw a house."

"Yeah…okay. Maybe I was. Still, there was no chakra involved. And I was much farther along by the time I did that. Hinata's barely started. By the time she's months gone-"

"You absorbed chakra."

"No. Hearing it now, I'm going to say that was the _Rinnegan_. Same eyes Pain had, same abilities. Healing? That's Kyuubi. Icky healed me, healed you…and that kid was healing Hinata in that fight. It healed Icky. That's all Kyuubi, and that other kid sounds like he has about ten times more Kyuubi than Icky does."

"How _?_ Icky– _Ikioi_ – has the demon itself."

"I don't know how. I just know it does. It's obvious to me. Which, when you think about it, makes your statement of that power Hinata displayed being the kid pretty much true. It's Kyuubi, but Kyuubi's in that kid. So it _is_ the kid." He shuddered. "God, can you imagine what he'll be like once he's born?"

"Don't want to."

"Neither do I. But we might have to. Look, I know you don't want to think about it, or maybe you do…but I think she needs to come back here."

"Thought you didn't care?"

"Sasuke, I never thought I would see a day when I'd be happy to never see her again, but I am. It's here. _I never want to see her again_ , okay? Trust me. But this is bigger than me, you, or her."

"You mean Konoha. The other nations."

"I mean Konoha in civil war over Icky, whose powers they never even saw. I mean that other kid probably being more powerful than Icky, and Hinata out in the wind. Waiting to be discovered. If she is, and they come at her, that kid will do God only knows what. And then the whole world will be after her and the kid both."

Sasuke's frown smoothed out as his face went slack. "Fuck…"

"Even if she stays hidden, Granny knows about her and her kid's powers. Knows where we are. And thanks to your story, I now believe that woman will stop at nothing to end Icky _and_ that kid. She'll come with an army, Sasuke. Hinata won't be here, but we will."

Sasuke stood up. "We'll start strengthening defenses in the morning."

"How?"

"However we can."

"I really don't see how. I think we should focus on ourselves. Getting stronger."

"That too. You want to train?"

"What, with you?"

"I don't see anyone else."

"I guess." Something occurred to him. "Should we train the kid?"

"He's a baby."

"Not an ordinary one. That book is practically useless to us."

"I don't know. Let's do us first. In fact, we can start now. You said the only thing you've done is Sage Mode, right?"

"Actually…I kind of remember making _Rasengan_ when you were gone. Woke up and it was in my hand."

"Make one now."

"Dude? You're not my teacher. I can train myself."

Sasuke put his head back and closed his eyes a moment. "You know what? _Fuck_ you. Was only trying to help, but you're right. Do you, and I'll do me."

"Where you going? This is your room."

"Then get out."

Naruto stood to do this, then just frowned at the floor. "Look at us. Hell, when is this going to stop? When are we just going to stop?"

Sasuke folded is arms. Leaned against the doorway and shook his head. "Sometimes I blame you for all of this. You got pregnant. And then all that shit with Kyuubi. I feel like all you had to do was just have the baby. That's it. Everything would have been fine, we would have dealt with Tsunade, the council…all you had to do was have him, but no. You had to go and lose your mind. Other times I think it's all my fault. If I'd just been there more, done something different. Maybe none of the shit that happened up here would have happened. But this right here, us hating each other, is the precise thing I was afraid of. Us not coming out of this intact. God, it's like…I could _see_ it happening. Saw it coming, saw us unraveling, and I couldn't do a single thing to stop it." A snort left him. "I can't even go into a storm to get milk for my son. I can't do shit."

Naruto blinked at him. He was hard-pressed to find an argument to the contrary.

"I wish you'd left me out there."

Naruto considered that statement. "I might hate you right now, but I'm glad I didn't."

* * *

The next morning, Sasuke came down with a fed and dressed Ikioi and found Naruto staring out the living room window. Naruto heard Sasuke come up behind him and spoke without turning around. "Snow's still here. You realize the sun is out for more than fourteen hours a day now? But this snow is eternal. Granted, it is a lot warmer than before, but I got a thermometer this morning, look." He pointed to the far wall, where a large thermometer hung. "Thing's hovering at two degrees. And look here." He turned and went to a low round table that hadn't been there last night. It was covered with a large sheet of paper, books, charts, and a drawing compass. Sasuke drifted closer as Naruto hefted one of the books. "I pinpointed our location precisely on that map you brought, but I also got a few texts on the arctic circle. According to this, the highest temperature we can expect will be around fifty degrees and that's in July. There's a whole bunch of other junk about the short growing season depending on where in the circle you are, but what interests me most is the circle itself. It's uninhabited." He shoved everything off the table to leave the sheet of paper and the compass. Sasuke could now see drawings on the paper. A large circle and landmasses. He knelt next to Naruto and looked where he was pointing. "I can verify for a fact that there isn't a soul within this circle but us," Naruto went on. "The maps in those books are accurate, but I needed something bigger to look at. And I wanted to test a theory."

"What theory?" He was fascinated. Ikioi was dozing off in his arms as he stared at Naruto.

"The theory that I remember everything from when I Foxed Out. Look at this." He pointed to a landmass west of their island. "I know that precisely three miles inland from this bay right here there's a waterfall of fresh water, and a hundred yards from that there's a tree that's been split by lightning. Or down here at this piece of land the water never really freezes. Stays warm. The land smokes too, so I think there's volcanic activity of some kind. My point is, under normal conditions if I'm shown, say, a route on how to get somewhere I might remember eighty, eighty-five percent of that route once I've traveled it. But I remember a hundred percent of everything I saw, ate, or did while I was Foxed Out. Every single detail. Every rock, every mountain. So I drew this map. It's not finished, but here it is. This is it." He looked up and met Sasuke's eyes with a frown. "Why do you think I remember all that stuff so well? I can't even remember what I ate last week."

Sasuke tipped his head. Studied the map. "Well…I think the mind is a muscle," he said slowly. "And like all your other muscles, it probably got a boost when you were in Kyuubi's grip. All your other senses became heightened. Makes sense your brain did too. I think the difference between your heightened mind and your normal mind is what caused the forgetfulness when you returned to yourself. Your mind needed awhile to sync everything up. Once it did you had access to all the memories Kyuubi stored. But that doesn't mean your mind is undergoing the same process now, so your powers of retention are back down to average."

"Oh." Naruto looked at the map.

Sasuke looked too. He could see a name scrawled across the top. "What's that?"

"The name of our land. Yeah, since we've claimed this place I think we should name it. Can't just be the arctic circle. I considered really calling it Hell, but that's lame. Besides, it's too cold. I didn't want to call it the Land of Winter either, even though the winters here can last nine months, according to the books. Or the Land of Snow. I figured, since the books also say that eventually we'll have sun round the clock same as we had that twenty-four hour darkness, that we could name the land based on that. What do you think?"

Sasuke read the name. _Yoru to hiru no kuni._ "The Land of Night and Day?"

"Yup. I'm _Kage_."

"Figures."

"So are you. We can be the first country to have a joint _Kage_ office. Naturally, you're the _Yorukage_. I'm the _Hirukage_."

"What-"

"And this, our village, is the Hidden Village of Twilight."

"You're really living the fantasy, aren't you."

"It's not a fantasy. I'm serious."

Sasuke studied him. "You do realize that land borders can only be enforced when you have people, citizens, to enforce them? If we claim a land we have to be able to defend that land. There needs to be a government, economy, currency. Where are we getting supplies?"

"That's why there are two _Kage_. That stuff's all your job."

Sasuke found himself laughing. It was silent, but it was hard enough to have him rock sideways and hit the floor with a soft bump. Ikioi woke with a coo. "You're impossible."

Naruto gazed down at him.

"Whew. Okay. I needed that. Can't remember the last time I laughed." He looked at the baby, who was now staring up at Naruto. "We'll talk more about all that later. I actually came down here to discuss something else."

"Oh?" Ikioi smiled and reached for Naruto. Naruto, Sasuke was pleased to note, smiled back and took him.

"I want to continue the discussion we were having yesterday," Sasuke said.

The baby made slapping motions on Naruto's eyes, screaming happily. "Huh?"

"About training? That thing you said about training Ikioi hasn't left my mind. I think— _FUCK, NARUTO!_ " Sasuke shot to his feet.

Naruto had thrown the baby high enough to have him grazing the ceiling. He caught him just as easily and swooped him around in a circle. "What," Naruto said. Icky was laughing so hard his face was red.

Sasuke snatched his son to safety. He was torn between commenting on Naruto's unprecedented playfulness with Ikioi and the terror he was still choking on. "Don't you ever do that again," he wheezed. He cradled Ikioi to his chest.

Naruto's grin dwindled, but he poked a finger at Icky, and the boy grabbed it. Brought it to his mouth. Still smiling, Naruto said, "What about training him?"

Sasuke was still catching his breath. He used the action of smoothing Ikioi's hair to calm himself. "The baby. I think we are going to have to train him after all. I don't think you understand what it means for him to have those eyes. And I didn't really consider it until you'd mentioned it. Last night, thinking about it, it occurs to me that we might have bigger problems on our hands than a few armies coming our way."

Naruto was listening. Serious expression, motionless posture. "Such as?"

In that moment, seeing Serious Naruto give his undivided attention to the topic of their son, Sasuke knew he'd never loved him more. "Such as the nature and abilities of the eyes themselves. A set of eyes that possesses all three _Doujutsu_ is probably the greatest treasure this world has ever seen. I don't _think_ there's a soul powerful enough to wield them, so it's doubtful the eyes themselves will be stolen. It's more likely-"

"Hang on. Is this going to be a long discussion?"

"Yes."

"Then I need food. Talk to me while I eat."

-oOo-

The round table was cleared and set with a plate of boiled eggs, sausage, and about ten packages of instant ramen. "Was tired of seal and reindeer," Naruto said sheepishly.

Sasuke filched an egg. "Let's start with _Sharingan_. Ikioi has all three tomoes, so-"

"I'm well aware of _Sharingan's_ capabilities. Less familiar with _Byakugan_ and _Rinnegan_ , though I've fought against both. How much info do you have on those?" He wiped sausage juice from his chin.

The baby reached for Naruto's plate. Sasuke pushed his hands away…then helped himself to one of the fat sausages. It was delicious. "A lot."

"Be concise without leaving anything out." The ramen was now ready. He dug into the first pack and closed his eyes. "Fuck me till I die, _yes_."

Sasuke refrained from commenting on that. " _Byakugan_. Pretty common knowledge how it can see nearly three-hundred and sixty degrees and through most objects, but mainly it can see chakra. Better than I can. I've fought Neji. Beyond _Juuken_ and seeing _Tenketsu_ , he can detect _Genjutsu_. Hinata can see up to fifteen miles away now with hers, and I have to believe that she can improve further. That someone stronger than her could probably see a lot farther. However, if she uses it nonstop it puts a strain on her. The distance she can see becomes impaired."

Naruto was on his third cup of ramen.

" _Rinnegan_. This is the one that really worries me. I've studied what texts I could find on this, and there aren't many. Most of what I know is from Madara and Zetsu. According to them, only a handful of _shinobi_ have ever had it. I'm talking the fingers of one hand. There's lore attached to it: The one who wields it is either a god of creation or a destroyer. And that the eyes show up in times of conflict. As for the abilities…aside from seeing chakra as well as _Byakugan_ or better, it can master any jutsu. Any nature manipulation, _Rikudou no jutsu_ …"

Naruto listened as Sasuke ran down the list. He drained the last cup of ramen, belched, then turned and plucked Icky from Sasuke's lap as Sasuke was winding down. Held the baby up so they were eye-to-eye. "And you really think he can do all those things?"

"I think he has the potential. The capability. He did those things I told you about."

"So basically I'm holding the most powerful human being that's ever lived."

"You're holding a baby. Who could become the most powerful human being to ever live."

Naruto studied the black eyes staring at him. "How in hell did he get _Byakugan_? Neji didn't fuck me while I was at his place, did he?"

"I wouldn't know. I doubt it, though." Ludicrous as the thought was, and certain as he was that Naruto meant the comment as a joke, the idea nevertheless took root. He forced himself to focus on Naruto's next question.

"Think he could pull the eyes out now if we asked?"

"I don't know. I do know that those powers are intense. Using just _Sharingan_ might be too much for him. I'm leery of trying. We might hurt him."

Naruto, still studying Icky, now held him in the crook of one arm. "No. I think he knows his limits. He won't go beyond what he can do. He'll let us know if he can or can't do something." He looked up at Sasuke. "And I think you had the right idea, we should train each other."

"Really?" That was a surprise. "What changed your mind?"

Naruto shrugged one shoulder. Looked at his map, where it was sitting on the floor. "It's like I said before. Stuff's happening that's bigger than our drama. Just because I'm not your boyfriend anymore is no excuse to give up an excellent training partner. You're smart. I'm not. I think you'll help me go far now that I don't have Kyuubi."

Sasuke was touched. He had to swallow and look away. Ended up staring at the map as well. Right then it hurt unbearably that Naruto _wasn't_ his boyfriend. "You can bet that I will. And by the way? I like the names. Thanks for making me _Kage_."

Naruto snorted. Then threw Icky to him, which had Sasuke bellowing again.

* * *

 _Three months ago…_

Ino released the hawk she'd been using to settle back in her own mind. The rest of the group was waiting for her report. She met their eyes, but avoided the unasked questions by turning in a circle to look at the landscape herself. "It's no use. I got the merest suggestion of a locale from Tsunade's mind. This is as close as I can figure, but I'm not sure. They could be anywhere north of the latitude you told me, Sakura. _Anywhere_." She blew on her gloved hands. The material did nothing to warm her frozen fingers.

"No," Sakura said. "You've done great. I only gave you an estimate based on what you told me of Tsunade's memories. You did exactly what I needed you to do, which was to put us in the ballpark. You're _sure_ you can't contact our friend?"

"No. Whenever I try, it's like something's blocking me. I can't get a location either."

Sakura turned to the rest of the group, who stood close by, listening. "Shino, can the _Bikouchou_ find them in this weather?"

"I dare not release him. He would freeze in seconds."

Sakura nodded. Looked at Kiba. "Then it's down to you. I said it might come to this. Looks like I was right. You up for it?"

Kiba took a folded map from inside his coat. "No doubt. Made this map of the surrounding area with the help of Sai. If I scout in a different direction each day, slowly moving outward-"

"Oh!" Sakura jumped up and down, suddenly squealing. "I just remembered something!"

They waited while she fished something from her bag.

"Nnn- Our friend's scroll!" She held it up like a trophy. "He said to use it in case of an emergency. This definitely qualifies. He's not around, but maybe it will get to our other friend and Hinata, and they can send a message back with their location. Yes!" She pumped the fist holding the scroll.

Sachi, who'd been hidden behind Chouji's bulk, stepped forward now. "May I see the scroll?"

Sakura's face and body language changed at once. She held the scroll at her side.

Sachi showing up in their camp mere hours after they'd arrived had been an unpleasant surprise. She hadn't said anything then; she didn't know much about Sachi other than that she was Sasuke's relative and that some of the villagers thought she'd be marrying him. At first she'd thought it would be good to have more support for Sasuke coming with them, but now she wasn't so sure. She'd had time to observe Sachi firsthand now, and she didn't like the quiet stares, the refusal to pitch in, or the way Sachi always managed to insert her presence into group discussions. So now, at hearing her ask for the scroll, Sakura tightened her hand on it.

"That reminds me," Sakura said. "In Konohamaru's scroll to our friend, he said you'd been sent along with the team meant to subdue Ssss...our other friend. You finding us on your own, inserting yourself into our group…I didn't say anything. Not then." She took a few steps that put her nose to nose with the shorter girl. "But now I am. What were you doing with that extraction team? And why are you here?"

The smile Sachi let ooze across her face was full of confidence. "I've been with your group three days. If you thought I was a threat, why did you wait so long to confront me?"

 _Evasion._ Sakura matched the smile with an unblinking stare. "Because we had other more pressing matters to address. Food . Shelter. You haven't answered me."

"I don't need to."

Before she could reply, Sakura felt Shino and Lee step up behind her. Ino came to stand on her left, while Tenten flanked her on her right. She could feel the others taking up similar positions behind her. "I think you're confused," Sakura said. "This isn't Konoha. These are friends of the ones we're going to meet. Whom I lead. Of whom you are not a member. So. Tell me what it is you're doing here."

"Or?"

Akamaru growled.

Sachi's eyes moved left and right along the group, before looking Sakura up and down. She lowered her lashes. "I'm sorry. I'm still not used to this. I've been waiting so long to be reunited with family members, I just…" She took a delicate breath that had two tears falling from her sooty lashes. "I just feel like I can't let anything stop me. Like I have to get to Sasuke no matter what. And sometimes I forget that I'm not amongst enemies anymore. Forgive me. Please." Her shoulders shook in a series of gentle shudders that conveyed a wealth of grief.

The males moved closer, ready to offer comfort, but Konohamaru said, "Bitch, please. Nobody gives a fuck for your fake tears."

The rest of the group was silent.

Sachi left her chin on her chest a moment longer, but looked up with wet eyes to see Sakura, Ino, and Tenten unmoved.

"You need to leave," Sakura said quietly. "Now. Before sundown."

Sachi gave a small bow. "Yes. I think that's best. Clearly I'm not wanted here."

They all watched as she made her way to the cluster of tents, where she'd presumably left her bag. A moment later she shouldered it, paused to glance at them, then began making her way out of camp.

Sakura signaled Kiba. "Follow her. Make sure she's gone, then report back here."

* * *

Tsunade received the news that her followers were reduced by two thirds with an impassive expression. Shizune waited after delivering her report. Unsure if the silence meant shock or incomprehension, she ventured to repeat herself. "Tsunade-sama-"

"I heard you. The sentries posted around camp either left with the deserters or agreed with them, but the end result is the same. Hundreds of villagers gone in the night without so much as a blade of grass stirred, or a pebble disturbed to mark which direction they've gone in. Who remains?"

None of the elite, she found out. Nor any of the core families. Barely anyone save tradesmen, and those precious few.

"Also…" Shizune lowered her eyes to her clipboard. Closed them.

Tsunade observed the tears with a sneer of disgust. "Out with it," she barked.

"All envoys and delegates from other countries have left, Tsunade-sama. Except one. Suna's ambassador. They're requesting an immediate audience."

This loss cut deep. Deeper than the loss of her villagers. The loss of face before her peers was beyond recovering. They no longer believed her capable or worthy of regaining office. She was not _Hokage_. Nor, apparently, worthy of respect. She was nothing.

Her hands, she was surprised to see, were remarkably steady. _The loss of so much should cripple me._ "Pack our things, Shizune." Her voice was raw. "Unless you mean to leave me too."

" _Never_."

"Bring only what we need."

"What of the villagers that remain?"

"If they consider themselves Leaf, let them return to where they belong. I'm no longer their leader."

Shizune bore down on her grief. Kept it together. "And the ambassador?"

"It's Temari, correct? Send her in."

While Shizune left to do this, she stood from her bed and let the blanket she'd huddled in fall. A splash of cold water to her face served as preparation enough; when Temari ducked into her tent with her guards, she was straight-backed and composed.

"Tsunade-sama." No bow. Only a direct gaze.

"Temari. Are you sure your message, whatever it is, would not be best served to the _Hokage?_ "

"It's addressed to you personally, from Sabaku no Gaara," Temari said. "May I proceed?"

"By all means."

"It states: 'Word has reached me of Naruto's death. The circumstances of his disappearance and now his demise do not sit well with Sunagakure. _Hokage_ or not, you are now an enemy of Sunagakure. Sunagakure recognizes neither Konoha nor the current _Hokage_. All ties between Sunagakure and Konohagakure are hereby severed. All Leaf _shinobi_ currently residing in Sunagakure will be sent back to Konohagakure. Should anyone of Konohagakure, or even the Land of Fire, set foot in the Land of Wind for any reason not expressly reviewed and permitted by myself, they will be terminated with extreme prejudice and without trial. The only exceptions to these mandates are Uchiha Sasuke and his child, and Hyuuga Hinata.' "

Temari dipped her head once, turned, and saw herself out of the tent. The guards followed her. Tsunade heard the low command to move out, before she felt their chakra engage and their presence recede to the distance.

"I believe a similar message was, in fact, sent to the _Hokage_ ," Shizune said.

"And that, it seems, is that. We are to be gone within the hour, Shizune."

" _Hai._ Where?"

"Wherever I can forget. Someplace where I can forget who I am."

* * *

Kiba came back at dusk. "She's gone."

Sakura handed him some of the cured meat they were eating as the rest gathered around for his report. "Which direction?" she asked.

"No, you don't get it. She's _gone_. A couple miles outside of camp I lost her scent completely. Spent hours trying to pick it up again. The only place I got a whiff of it was right here. Right where I'm standing. Her smell's in camp, and on those two miles, but nowhere else."

Frowns all around.

Sakura squinted her eyes as she slowly got to her feet. "Neji."

He was already scanning. "No sign of her anywhere in the vicinity."

"Shino?"

"The _kikai_ report nothing."

Unable to swallow the knot in her throat, Sakura looked around at their camp. There was a large fire going, around which they were all huddled, but the outer edges of the camp were dark. The light further blinded them.

The edge of camp was where they had most of their supplies, all in a huddle. Legs now stiff with dread, Sakura went to her bag. She paused to note that she stood in complete darkness though the fire was only fifty feet away. She brought the bag to the fire, opened it, and reached in.

"The scroll's gone."

Konohamaru shrieked. "How the _fuck_ -"

"There's no way she could have come back to camp without us sensing it," Lee said. "Even those of us who are weaker than others would have seen her." There were murmurs of agreement.

Konohamaru, dangerously calm now, shook his head. "Nah, man. Boss taught me well. And so, apparently, has someone else taught that bitch. It wouldn't be easy, but it could be done. If you were sneaky enough. Quiet beyond quiet. A shadow. Uncommon stealth. It could be done. I could do it. Fuck, I _have_ done it, when I was getting info on the council for Boss."

Shikamaru frowned at that.

Sakura stood staring at her bag. Rage, black and obliterating, rose up in her. "Do you, any of you, know how strong our friend is?" Her voice was an unsteady whisper. It silenced all the growing anger at once. "Not the one who's gone. The other one. The one we're going to see. The one Sachi, that _bitch,_ is obsessed with. Do you? Any of you?"

They could be seen considering it. Shikamaru said, "Why?"

And now Sakura looked up. Her face was pale with fury and her eyes glittered in the firelight with unshed tears. "Because she _was_ on that extraction team to subdue him. I'm certain she wasn't just a member, either, but the point man. She's Uchiha. And right now, I will bet my life that she has powers no one knows about. Powers the council _does_ know about. Something that could take down our friend, because outside of our friend who's gone _no_ one in Konoha could take down our friend who's alive. She's going to hurt him. Maybe the buh…ba…maybe both of them. And Hinata-"

"Oh fuck."

Everyone turned in surprise to Ino, who had a look of horror on her face.

"I forgot Hinata," Ino stammered. "Forgot to report that. What I got from Tsunade-sama's mind." Her eyes were wild.

And by the time she was done talking, so were everyone else's. Neji barged to the front of the group. "She's _pregnant?_ "

"By which one?"

"I want to hear more about the arm-"

"I want to hear the whole fight-"

Shikamaru got everyone's attention. "It's our dead friend's baby in her." They swung to him. "What. Didn't you hear what Ino said? Hinata pretty much went Kyuubi on Tsunade. Personally, I find it of passing interest that we somehow keep making decisions that entail such cataclysmic danger to our lives."

Blank stares.

"And once again I'm the only one with a functioning brain. Allow me to explain. May I?" He studied his nails.

"Please." Neji bit out. "You have the floor."

"Thank you, Neji. I'll be as succinct as possible. So, then. Our blond friend is dead, but leaves behind his bbbb…you know what, whom, if Ino's deductions from Tsunade's mind are correctly interpreted, shows unnatural power already."

"I didn't say unnatural power," Ino interjected. "I said she thought it was unnatural because of how long the you-know-what went without crying or moving."

"Right. Whatever. My point is, she tried to kill it. No idle decision, that. Hinata steps in, and Tsunade actively tries to kill _her_. Our former _Hokage_ would not stoop to murdering innocents unless such an act served a greater purpose. It must be assumed that whatever threat she saw in the you-know-what was big enough to justify not only such treachery, but the betrayal of our dead friend, whose body wasn't even cold when this mess went down. How big must such a threat be, do you think? I mean, we already know other nations will be after the you-know-what now."

Silence.

"And now for how it gets better. _Two_ you-know-whats! Double the danger, double the threat, double the not-fun all these nations will be throwing at _us_ …the people walking right into it. There."

Sakura snorted. "Go back to Konoha, then. I'm going to our friend. And the you-know-whats, and Hinata…all of it. I will face all of it for them and more. Just go, Shikamaru. I'm sick of you."

They watched and waited as Shikamaru folded his arms. "I'm not crazy about any of this, you got that right. But I'm not quitting on our dead friend either. I just think my talents can best be utilized away from an impending apocalypse."

Chouji said, "Like where?"

"Back in Konoha, for one. Sakura's right about that. And Konohamaru there has given me an idea. You need an inside man. Someone known to be lazy, and who would thus fly under the radar of any suspicious individuals."

"And…what would you be doing that would require such secrecy?" Sakura wanted to know.

"Spying. It's a safe bet that Sachi is going to our friend and his you-know-what. She's too much of an unknown. Our friend, and all of us for that matter, needs more information. I'll be obtaining data on the council's movements and intentions. And through them, the intentions and movements of the other nations. Feeding all this info back to you and our friend, once you meet up with him. Look. You have your strength, Neji has his eyes…my brain is my main weapon. Where I'm strongest. This is how I can be of the most use to you. This is how I'll fight. Time I started doing what I'm good at."

Sakura threw her arms around him, and the rest joined in for the squeeze. When they pulled back, Ino stepped forward. "If you're going to be remaining in contact with us, it'll most likely have to be through _Shindenshin_ …which means I'm going to have to come with you."

"Absolutely not," Shikamaru spluttered.

Ino put a hand on one hip. Her eyes turned frosty, and her smile was anything but amused. "You're not about to tell me it's too dangerous, are you? Or that girls can't be spies? Hm? How you can't let me walk into that kind of danger? Because that would be an insult to all the years we've spent as teammates. All the years our parents have known each other. You'd also be showing yourself to be pretty stupid because the _second_ we get back to Konoha the council will rape your mind until you're a drooling basket case. Tsunade's not there to save us this time. The only way we'll make it through interrogation, and I do mean the _only_ _way_ , Nara Shikamaru, is with my help. Seriously, if you don't see that then I'm going to be forced to remind you of what kind of ninja I am. Besides. Interrogation is the best-case scenario. We're enemies of Konoha. We might very well be executed on the spot. It's better to have someone watching your back. Now. What were you about to say?"

Shikamaru swallowed. "That I'm glad you're coming along."

"That's what I thought."

-oOo-

The following morning, Sakura got right to business. "Before Ino and Shikamaru leave, let's decide on a definite plan of action here. Kiba. Find us a way to our friend and find it fast. The rest of us-"

"Hang on," Ino said. Her voice and face were both far away. "My father's contacting me. He's…coming," she said many minutes later. "With everyone."

That got a few glances exchanged. "Everyone like who?" Neji said.

"Your uncle. All the Hyuuga. All the Yamanaka, Akimichi, Inuzuka…like _everyone_ , everyone. They're all coming to support us and our friend! _All_ of them!"

"The whole village?" Konohamaru breathed.

Ino blinked and she was with them again. Staring at them. All she could do was nod.

"Kiba, _move_ ," Sakura snapped. "I want that location before they reach us. When we show up for our friend he'll have an army of his own to help him fight if I have anything to say about it. _Why are you still here!"_

She watched Kiba and Akamaru pelting away, arms crossed.

"It'll take the villagers months to reach us," Lee said. "And it might take Kiba weeks to pick up a scent."

Sakura's frown deepened. "I know. He needs help. Ino, tell your dad the situation. And that we'll be remaining here for a while. He needs to send half the Inuzuka with him ahead to our location. Preferably Kakashi-sensei as well. We need his _ninken_. And warn them about that bitch."

Ino already had her eyes closed.

* * *

 _Present Day…_

"Sasuke."

"Hn."

"Someone's coming."

Sasuke had three clones and _Mangekyo_ going before he was even standing. He handed Ikioi to a clone, took up his sword, and only then turned to face Naruto. "Who."

"Nobody I recognize. Female. Alone."

"Lost traveler?"

"Making a beeline right for us, if a slow one. She knows we're here."

"How far?"

"A day, at that speed. Little less."

"A _day?_ You can sense that far away?"

Naruto, who was crossed-legged on the floor, opened his eyes but retained Sage Mode. "In the month we've been training I've gotten to maybe three days. Hard to tell. But going by the distance I can travel in a day, yeah. 'Bout that." He got to his feet and met Sasuke's eyes. "What do you want to do?"

"Someone we don't know is heading straight for us. It's not even a question. What's their chakra like?"

Naruto looked aside, sensing. "Strong. Very."

"She's dead, then. When she gets here-"

Naruto turned for the door. "If you think I'm letting this person anywhere near our son you need your head checked. I'll do it now." He began putting on the furs they kept hanging by the door.

"Just like that? You're going to kill them without finding out who they are or who they're aligned with?"

" _I don't know this person_. I'm not waiting around to ask questions. Fuck, I'm not trusting people I _do_ know anymore. If Granny could do what she did, then so can anyone else. So, fuck it. You're the only one I trust around the kid. Be right back."

Sasuke stared at the closed door. One, Naruto just called their son _their_ son. Two, _he_ was the only one Naruto trusted. Right out of his mouth. He turned to look at the clones. Ikioi stared back at him. "Scared?"

Silence from the boy. Silent and staring.

"Take him upstairs. You know what to do should anything get past us."

The clones nodded. Sasuke waited right where he was, senses on high alert. Just then he remembered that Naruto was without Kyuubi. And that he hadn't mentioned sensing this person for three days. Only just now.

* * *

He had one of the toads drop him off about a mile from the person and continued on foot. A few hundred yards from contact, the person stopped and turned around. A single leap landed him in front of her, but not close enough to receive an attack without him being able to see it coming. Maybe Sasuke was right and a question or two was in order. "How'd you get here," he said.

The surrounding land was calm. No wind to speak of at the moment. Weather was a nice fourteen degrees, but it was snowing. Made seeing details difficult. He looked long and hard anyway, and knew he was being scrutinized with as much intensity.

The face was mostly hidden by a hood. Long, dark, silky hair fluttered in the breeze. He couldn't be sure, but she seemed short. "Answer me."

"You don't want to know who I am…Naruto? I see the report of your death was greatly exaggerated."

He was staring at an empty landscape. No sign of the girl or woman or whatever she was. And since he'd never released Sage Mode, he sensed the precise moment she reached her destination. "Fuck!"

* * *

Sasuke was staring at the house door, then into the eyes of some girl. He swung his sword , simultaneously surrounding her in fire…and felt her appear behind him. It was then he realized what she'd done, by which time he had _Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan_ in place _._

She halted him with a few words. "I'm Sachi, Sasuke. I've been waiting to meet you."

The door crashed in with a boom; Naruto went directly to her. Sasuke watched carefully but she didn't block or evade. She simply turned where she stood, and reappeared near the fireplace. "Naruto, stop," he said.

"Sasuke-"

"Please. I'm giving her three minutes. You can kill her then, but I need a few answers."

"Who is she?"

"Sachi. Uchiha Sachi, if I'm not mistaken."

Naruto turned disbelieving eyes on him. "What? This bitch, the cause of _all of this_ …you're going to let her speak?" But he looked at her with new interest himself. So this was Sachi.

She was pulling back her hood, removing the fur cloak she'd worn.

They saw a diminutive girl-woman of unthinkable beauty. The hair fell loose and glossy to well past her shoulders. The eyes were large, dark, and generously lashed. A tiny dimple graced the corner of a mouth perfectly and enticingly shaped. "I'm afraid I don't understand." Her voice matched her face. Low. Smooth. "What have I done?"

Naruto noticed the way her eyes only became soft when looking at Sasuke. And that wasn't much. She glanced around the room several times, as if searching for something, before looking upward. He saw the subtle relaxing of her body and grit his teeth.

"What do you want with me?" Sasuke said. "How did you find us?"

"What do I want? To be with my kin. As for how I found you, through this." She held up the scroll, then tossed it when Sasuke held out his hand.

"That's the one I gave Sakura," Naruto said, looking at it. "How'd you get it?"

"How do you think? I took it. Followed the impression you left on it. It's taken me months to get here." She blinked. "Why are you looking at me like that? I did nothing wrong. But I've heard of Sasuke all my life. My father…" She lowered her head. Shook it slightly. "I'm meant to be here. With you, Sasuke."

Naruto looked back and forth between them. Sachi still had her head down, but was peeking at Sasuke. And Sasuke was staring back. Naruto took a minute to note a few things. One, he was getting no sense of violence from Sachi. Two, Sasuke was going to let her stay. Three, even though they weren't together he didn't like the idea of Sasuke and Sachi in the same house. He experienced a complex thought: Sachi might replace Hinata in Sasuke's heart, which was good. But she might replace him too, and that was bad.

What he called up in his hand defied description. He had no idea what it was, only that it was mostly wind. He threw it toward Sachi.

She did that twisting thing and put herself at his back. The jutsu itself left deep slice marks in the walls and floor where she'd been. Naruto slowly turned to face her with his chakra glowing around him. Close to, she was even more breathtaking. Cheeks reddened by the wind. Lips soft and pink. "The last person I saw do that was Madara."

She was studying the chakra, so spoke absently. "Can I meet the baby?"

Sasuke walked up to her. She allowed this. "I'm not sure how intelligent you are," he said, "but I'll go with the level you've demonstrated so far and assume you're damaged in some way. Pay attention now, because I'm only going to say this once. Are you ready?"

She smiled at him.

"All right. Here it is. You're an unknown. We're on the run. Unknown people showing up at the homes of people on the run tend to get themselves killed. So unless you give me a solid reason as to why I should let you live within the next sixty seconds you're going to be taking us both on. Am I clear?"

"Yes."

"Begin."

"My father's been telling me about you since I was small. I just want to be near you."

Naruto snorted. "Your chances of walking away from here just dropped to zero."

She continued to speak to Sasuke. "The thing I've carried with me all this time was the knowledge that there was an Uchiha out there who was my age. Someone hopefully like me. Powerful like me. Someone I could…bond with. A friend. I've never had friends. I've been thinking about you for years. Dreaming up adventures and fights and long conversations. But we had to stay hidden, my family and I. Do you know what that's like? To live your entire life hidden? No, I'm not the most socially normalized person but that's because I've never been allowed to socialize. I'm blunt. I'm direct. I say what I think and feel because subtlety and tact are things you learn when you grow up sparing the feelings of others. I've never interacted with anyone outside my family, not until Konoha. My only escape was thoughts of you. I would spend hours and hours having imaginary play dates and…I don't know. It's silly. But sometimes I dreamed of you rescuing me from my life. Or me rescuing you. I knew the only way we'd meet would be if Madara was dead. And then we got the word that he was. You killed him. I couldn't wait to meet you and tell you that you weren't the last Uchiha after all. Yes, I've put that above everything, down to taking that scroll, but I couldn't let anything stop me. I _am_ obsessed with you, Sasuke, but there really wasn't much else for me to think about growing up. I'm not going to apologize for how I am. I didn't make me. I'm just me. Are you going to send me away? Or-" she glanced at Naruto. "Or kill me?"

He didn't know about Sasuke, but Naruto privately thought that he himself was caught. Mostly caught. He believed her. Worse, he understood her. His childhood had been bad enough, growing up isolated from the villagers. And that was with him smack dab in the middle of the village. How much worse would it have been if he'd truly been isolated? Kept apart from humanity? He thought of the forest, and of living up here in the ice. Tried to imagine growing up that way his entire life. _Running_ his entire life. It made him grimace.

But it didn't make him like her. And she wasn't getting anywhere near his kid.

Sasuke kept his eyes on her as he sheathed his sword. Eyes that still held _Mangekyo_. He noted her non-reaction to both his chakra and his eyes and said, "How'd your father know about me?"

"He knew your mother. I believe they were childhood friends. He said he'd last seen you as a baby. With your brother."

"And how did he know I'd been spared from the massacre? How, pray tell, did he know that Madara was the one who'd engineered that massacre? It wasn't common knowledge. In fact, everyone in the known world thought my brother acted alone, including me, so forgive me if I don't believe a word out of your mouth."

Naruto felt something—something he could never name afterward but which felt like his old life trying to return—kick through him fast and hard. Hearing the doubts Sasuke had about this girl felt so good that he had to turn his head aside for a minute and blink his eyes clear. _This_ was his man; and he didn't take shit. Naruto turned back in time to catch the first look of uncertainty he'd seen cross Sachi's face.

She didn't immediately answer, staring deep into Sasuke's eyes. "I don't know how he knew. I only know that's what he told me. What he's always told me."

"Didn't it occur to you to ask where he'd gotten his information?" Sasuke said.

"Honestly? No. Why would it? He was just my father in my eyes, not some two-faced criminal. He was never a fighter-"

"Oh, Sachi, you're tripping yourself up." Sasuke shook his head in mock regret, but Naruto felt his chakra condense. "You said you're powerful. That would indicate training. Who trained you if not your father?"

"I had a teacher-"

"But you were isolated. Are you now saying that you weren't? Isolation was set aside to facilitate training? You see how implausible that is, right? Teachers carry tales. If you're as powerful as I think, that teacher would have been proud. Might have bragged, if he was around to do so. Now, either he is around and he did tell, which would make your sad story of isolation a lie, or he was killed to keep your secrets, which would make your 'I'm just misunderstood, I'm really innocent' act a lie. Which is it?"

Naruto looked at Sasuke and felt the first stirrings of desire he'd felt in ages.

Sachi swallowed. This wasn't going at all the way she'd imagined her first meeting with Sasuke would go. He was supposed to be enamored of her, taken with her. Her discovery that there was someone else in his life hadn't bothered her so much as the knowledge that it was a boy. Another girl, she could handle. Unnatural appetites, not so much. And now, having met Naruto, she further despised him. The connection between him and Sasuke was palpable. How they stood, as if physically attuned to each other. The way Naruto looked at Sasuke, the undercurrents she could feel traveling between them, that she could almost touch, they were so strong. She lowered her eyes to the floor. Adjustments. She could be flexible. Nothing was insurmountable. She cleared her throat and opened her mouth to speak.

"Ah, ah, ah," Sasuke said. He held up an admonishing finger. "Anything but the truth and I won't hold back. The truth, Sachi."

 _The truth it will have to be._ She saw that now. "Madara visited us," she whispered. "Once. When I was seven."

The smell of ozone swelled around them. Sasuke's chakra wasn't visible yet, but it was keenly felt. "What did he want?"

"I don't know. He spoke to my parents, not to me. I just remember my father calling me into the room near the end of the visit. Madara looked at me. For…for a long time he looked at me. And then he left. But my father never said anything about the visit afterward, I swear to you."

"Hn." Sasuke blinked. The first time Naruto could remember him doing so since Sachi's arrival. "You have to see how it is, Sachi. You lied. You can't expect me to believe anything you say now, or to trust you."

She nodded. "I'm telling you the truth."

"Oh? Who was your teacher? Where is he?"

"He's dead. Like you said."

"Name?"

A hesitation. "I only called him sensei. That's what he told me to call him."

"And now for the main question. The only one I'm really interested in. Where did you learn that space/time jutsu? That way of traveling?"

She looked back and forth between them. "My teacher."

"Where'd he come from?"

"I don't know."

"Did he come before or after Madara's visit?"

"After."

"So, given the obvious connection your dad had to Madara, it's a possibility that Madara arranged for that teacher's presence in your life. Correct?"

"I suppose anything is possible."

"But this is more of a probability, wouldn't you say?"

"I-"

"If that's the case, if Madara arranged for your teacher, that would mean Madara had a special interest in you. Agreed?"

"Well-"

"And if _that's_ the case, why in God's name should I let you stay here? You have to see how stupid I'd be to believe you or to let you stay."

 _He's got her!_ Naruto covered his grin with a hand.

"Because I haven't done anything." Sachi's eyes were starting to shine. "I've done nothing to you, and I would never hurt you. I'm not responsible for what my father may or may not have done and I certainly had no control over Madara. What do you want me to say?" Her eyes were definitely glassy now. "I'm so used to hiding everything, or only saying certain things…it's hard for me to be this up front. 'Never, ever, leave yourself exposed,' that's what my father told me day in and day out. 'Protect yourself. Protect us.' " One tear slipped free.

Sasuke studied her as dispassionately as if he were a statue. Naruto stared back and forth between them, very aware of Sachi's nervous tension and Sasuke's vigilance.

"Naruto," Sasuke said.

"Huh?"

"You have Sage Mode still. Make sure she gets as far from this house-"

"No," Sachi begged. " _Please!"_

"Or you and I will-"

"I know what the council's plans are! They told me! And I know about the other countries…I can tell you anything you want to know, just please don't send me away." She reached for Sasuke's hand.

Naruto placed himself in front of Sasuke. Sachi's hand returned to her chest, where it joined with her other one in a knot of appeal.

"Please," she said again, all self-assurance gone. "Please. I'll do anything you say."

Sasuke kept his eyes on her, but spoke to Naruto. "Okay. Make sure she gets a mile from the house. When she's far enough away, you and I will discuss what's to be done. And just so you know, Sachi, Sage Mode can track you three days out. Don't think about sneaking up on us. No matter how powerful you are, you can't take us both. Understood?"

She nodded. The tears were coming freely now, if silently.

"Good. Go."

Naruto watched carefully, but all she did was turn. And then she was gone. "If ever you were going to make a serious play to get back in my pants, that would have done the trick. Fucking God, that was hot."

Sasuke looked surprised. "Seriously? Because I'm ready. I-"

"I don't trust her. I believe her, but I don't trust her."

Deflating, Sasuke released his chakra, but kept his eyes. "Neither do I. She's got an answer for everything, and she _seems_ sincere…"

"But?" Naruto folded his arms.

"But it feels off. She feels off. There's shit about her that's not adding up. I can't put my finger on it."

"Me either. You didn't ask if she has _Sharingan_."

Sasuke grunted. "I will bet my own eyes that she does. Trusting her is out of the question, but what I really want to know is if you think she deserves the benefit of the doubt."

Naruto met his gaze while he thought. "You already know how I feel about her. The idea alone of this bitch made me fuck up my own body. We got the kid as a result. She's said from her own mouth that she's obsessed with you. She's not scared of us, or of us teaming up on her ass…the only thing that put the fear of God in her was the idea of being sent away from your precious self. That's insane. And if Madara had her trained, and she's been fed on the idea of you since birth, then she's been aimed at you. But at the same time, things could actually be as she said. Even if everything we suspect is true, she really might not have any knowledge of it. She could be as much of a pawn in all this as you were in all that shit that went down with your brother. You were a beast. An evil one. But you were also _pushed_ in that direction. It could be the same with her."

"I had a choice in my actions."

"Choices based on wrong info."

"So you're saying she does deserve a chance."

"I'm saying I don't like her or trust her. Neither did Konohamaru. She's your kin, though. You decide. Just know that no matter what you decide I'm not letting her near my kid. Ever. She was looking for him the second she got into this house. Actually had the balls to ask if she could see him. What the actual fuck. What does she want with him? If she'd done one of those disappearing numbers and just appeared at his side we'd be burying her right now."

Sasuke gave a half smile. "Your kid, huh?"

"You disagree?"

"Not one bit. About letting him near her or your protectiveness. So where does that leave us? If I'm honest there really is no reason to let her stay here. None. Except what she might know about the council's plans for us."

"I don't know. I've no doubt she's powerful. If she's a liar then letting her within sight of this house is both insane and irresponsible. If she's not, she'd be a powerful ally against what's coming. Especially if she's as obsessed with you as she says she is." He looked down. Pursed his lips. "Now that you've met her, can you see yourself married to her? Or, you know. Having kids with her?"

"No."

"Hinata?" He looked up at him. "Could you see yourself with her?"

"If I did, it was a product of the madness surrounding your pregnancy. Now, in my right mind? No, Naruto. You're the only one I see myself with. I've said that. Can we get back to Sachi?"

 _But you still love her._ "I said you decide. I'll back your play."

"Fine. We'll give her a chance. But she is never to be left alone with Ikioi. Not even if a clone is present. One of us physically stays with him at all times. He sleeps with one of us. Matter of fact, she can stay in one of the other houses. I don't want her in here. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

"All right. Go call her back. And Naruto…"

"What."

"Don't relax your guard around her. Distrust is one thing, but don't drop your guard. Not until we know for sure if she's to be trusted. Maybe not even then."

"You know it."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: WARNING: I have changed the summary of this fic. Stop now, go back, and read the changes. **WARNING:** Attempted suicide, violence, and death in this chapter.

Onward.

* * *

Chapter 4

 _Four months ago_

Travel from their location in the north to Fire Country would have taken months. Sakura's teleportation jutsu was much faster. She brought Ino and Shikamaru to the outer edge of Fire Country, then stood with them as they all sensed their surroundings.

"I think we're good," Ino said. "My father told me ANBU patrols start about twenty miles in."

All of Konoha's ANBU had elected to side with the Hokage in office, as per the dictates of ANBU itself.

Shikamaru said nothing.

"Right," Sakura said. "Well, this is where I leave you. How often should I expect updates?"

Ino adjusted the bag on her back. "None at all for at least six weeks. I'm not sure how long we'll be in interrogation, but assuming we're not terminated on sight, give me at least that long. First report will be to say we're free and clear and the nature of future reports."

Sakura looked at her. Glanced at Shikamaru, who was more visibly tense than she'd ever seen him. He, too, held her stare. None of them had to say that this might be the last time they saw each other. After a minute, Sakura stepped to them and threw an arm around each of their necks. She squeezed hard. "You're going dark," she said. "But I'll be waiting for that report." A statement of her faith in them.

When she was gone, Ino turned to Shikamaru. Just then, looking at the way he stared around as if listening for something, she remembered the night they'd made Jounin. Her team had snuck off to get drunk despite only recently completing the Fifth's punishment for drinking at Naruto's house party. Shikamaru had fondled her breast behind the bar. Later, he'd taken her virginity. He'd been more nervous than she was. They'd gone out for a month afterward, but now they were just good friends, as they'd always been.

She put a hand on his shoulder. He was trembling. "I trust you. With my life, I trust you."

The muscles in his jaw flexed, but he turned to face her. "I know. I-" He stopped. Considered his words. "I won't fail."

"I know."

"You have to let me lead this mission."

"I know."

"No matter what I say or do I need you to know that it serves this mission. Even if I swear to the council that I'm with them-"

"I know, Shikamaru. I trust you completely. No matter what you do from here on out. I'm at your disposal." She knew she was an instrument, one he would use to engineer success. When working with Shikamaru it was best to be silent and wait for instruction, the better to let his formidable mind operate unimpeded. He would tell her when and how he wanted her to use _Shindenshin_. She waited now.

"I told him that what he had wasn't life-threatening," he muttered some time later. "And then it killed him. I failed him. But we're not failing here. Okay. The second we show up they'll suspect exactly what we're doing. Presenting ourselves as outcasts will help with that. The fact that you're a medic helps further."

Ino pulled out her kunai. "How bad do we want it to look?"

He met her eyes. "Make no mistake. If we show up with injuries obviously meant to mislead they will kill us. Spending weeks or months in interrogation isn't an option. Our friends need intel as soon as possible. This way we might be able to cut the interrogation time in half, if not eliminate it entirely, so listen up. We'll put ourselves close enough to the village walls to be discovered in under two hours. ANBU will take us and report to the council. The council will demand an in-depth analysis of our wounds, at which point they _must_ be told that we're dying. Give us fatal injuries, but injuries that will give us seven to eight hours before we succumb. They need to be given time to reach the conclusion that we are of more use to them alive. And if the ranks of elite ninja in the village are as decimated as I believe they are, they will reach that conclusion. Do you understand?"

She nodded. Tightened the hand on her weapon to still its tremors.

"One last thing. My injuries have to be worse than yours. It has to be seen that you tried to heal me and couldn't due to the severity of your own wounds."

She put a hand over the nerves in her stomach at seeing him take out his own weapon. She was ninja. She faced pain and death regularly. But this was so cold-blooded…and Shikamaru was her friend.

He backed off a few paces. "For our friends," he said quietly, "we're going to have to be serious. We'll need to expend chakra for at least a few hours for any medical analysis to be believed…and we can't use our own styles. Got it?"

"Yes. It has to look as though we were attacked for wanting to come back. Like we barely escaped with our lives."

"Exactly. Okay. Come at me." He suited the action to his own words and met her half way.

* * *

 _Almost three months ago_

She left the house and, for a long time, felt as if she left Hyuuga Hinata behind. Rage blinded her, but so did freedom. To be cut loose from the pain she'd endured in that village over the past months, pain so intense that there were times she thought she was dying, times she knew parts of her were really dead… To be away from all that had her flying across the ice.

She _was_ angry. But now she was also free. Free from the blade of Naruto's love for Sasuke, a blade that cut her every time she saw either of them. That blade was the worst. Lodged deep in her heart, unable to come free, yet twisting whenever Naruto smiled at her. Free of the horror and confusion of falling in love with Sasuke. The betrayal of Naruto she felt at doing so. The longing Sasuke's serious glances kindled in her. Watching his sacrifices, the pain he tried to hide. Free of the daily desire to touch him. Free…free of the memory of waking up after the rape, of him offering her space under his blanket, of how it'd felt to lie against his side, so warm, of how, minutes or hours later, he'd put his arm around her and she'd turned into him and he into her and his lips had been soft. So soft. His hands so gentle, soothing, questing over the curves and valleys of her body…finding her shamefully ready.

The slow, unsure comfort he'd given them both. The wonder of making love with a man. Of being touched with love. By him.

Then the sigh of her name. Her tears, his tears. Turning from each other. Hating herself, hating him, loving him, wishing she was dead.

How, by unspoken agreement, they'd chosen to forget it afterward. Even when Naruto returned, and they'd spoken upstairs in her room, _that_ had never been mentioned. It had never happened. But it had. That secret lodged itself beside the knife already in her heart and twisted even more viciously. Twisting, twisting, until she woke up less than a week later and knew. _Knew_. That it wasn't over. For her, the nightmare would continue. And then hearing Naruto ask Sasuke point blank if he'd slept with her. The calm, calculating, unhesitating lie. That _lie_. But she was no better. Oh no.

That was the night she'd tried to abort the fetus. Failed. Took a kunai and opened both wrists. Watched them heal seamlessly. Put the point of that kunai over her heart and pressed. Pressed it into her flesh, between her ribs, and into her beating heart. _Held_ it pressed deep, held it with both hands, against the organ's struggling, against the pain of her living flesh. Praying for death with utter sincerity. She was ready. There was no more fight in her. Let it happen, let it work, let her heart stop and her pain end. Please. Please, please, please. _Please._ She couldn't _live_ like this. But then, against the pressure of both her hands, some power uncontrolled by her forced the blade out of her body. The wound closed. There was a minute wherein her terror reached such a peak that she slammed the door on it, on knowledge of the child in her and its powers, and chose to forget it all. She was fine. She was always fine because people needed her to be fine. She looked down at her bloody clothes, stripped, burned them, and climbed into her pallet. Cried. Cried. Months of crying, months of pain. The more she loved them, the more she hated herself. And now this. And then to _lust_ after them both so vehemently, to entertain dark, secret thoughts of them having her at the same time... Respect, dignity, honor, all gone. She was dead.

But now she was free. The wind was so cold, but she didn't feel it. She felt nothing. No pain. No shame. Nothing but freedom, and freedom was sweet.

Down on all fours, chakra blazing so that it melted the snow around her, she ran.

* * *

When she stopped, she was Hinata again and hundreds of miles from that village. Hot in her furs, though winter still gripped the land. There were signs of civilization, a sense of people that descended upon her, yet the rocky scrub land she walked was deserted. Mindful now, she stripped to a t-shirt and trousers, and fished a light cloak from her bag. She made the hood come down low enough to hide her eyes, then continued her journey. She traveled by night, relishing the return of daylight, and avoiding people.

She had no particular destination, but at length she came to a tiny cluster of stone homes not entirely unlike the village she'd left behind. There was a frozen stream along the northern edge of this settlement, across which a small bridge had been built. She could see flickering lantern light in the windows of those homes. She crossed the bridge, slipped past the houses, and made for the sparse trees beyond.

-oOo-

She was two or three miles past the settlement when something stopped her. Physically stopped her. Her limbs locked mid-step and would not budge no matter how hard she strained. Fear sent a shiver down her spine. She tried to turn back toward the settlement for help…and found her body able to move again. A surprised gust of relief left her. She took a few minutes to flex her arms and legs while scanning the area with _Byakugan_. As she'd thought. There was no one around, so it hadn't been a binding jutsu. Shouldering her bag from where she'd dropped it, she pointed herself south once more. And again found herself unable to move.

Long minutes passed before she realized her body could only move toward the settlement. North. Not east or west or south. And it was another hour before she realized that it was the baby preventing her.

She hadn't feared the child inside her since the night she'd tried to end them both. It dawned on her then that her sense of Naruto's baby was actually her _baby's_ sense of him…and that this awareness had a range limit. If she went any farther from Naruto's baby than where she was currently standing, her child would be unable to sense him. Clearly her baby didn't want that.

 _Byakugan_ still activated, she stared as far south as she could see. With her heightened chakra she realized this was more than a hundred miles now. She saw a town, hills, valleys, rivers. Her tears were hot, her frustration bitter. Hopelessness was quick to follow. She tried a last time to move south, tried until she was sweating and trembling, but not so much as a finger moved.

The settlement it was then.

She stood up. Her hood had fallen back during her struggles. She lifted it now and made sure it covered her face. Moving slowly, she turned and made her way back the way she'd come.

* * *

Mao was always the first one up in the settlement. After Dai, that is. Dai rose before she did just so he could milk his cows and give her some for baking. She took great pride in her bakery; it was the only one in any direction for a hundred miles at least. She ran it with the precision and attention to excellence bestowed upon her by her mother. That worthy woman had been born and raised in Otogakure, a once great village. She'd left when the troubles had begun and taken her young daughter far to the north.

The cold didn't bother her. Hours before dawn she had her ovens going, bread, buns, and pastries baking. She hummed while she worked, enjoying the solitude and her craftsmanship. It was this that prevented her from hearing the knock on the front door at first.

She stopped humming and stared toward the front of the shop. The knocking sounded again. There were a solid oak door separating the front of the shop from the kitchens, and another one serving as the front door to the bakery itself. Whoever was knocking had to be pounding with a good deal of strength for her to hear it this clearly. Wiping her hands on her apron, she grabbed her lantern and moved toward the door. Pushed it open, peered into the shop. It was dark, the curtains drawn. She stared at the front door. The faintest outline of moonlight shown around the edges. Lower, she could see a shadow interrupting that glow. She tightened her grip on the lantern.

 _BOOM, BOOM, BOOM._

Now that she was looking she could see the light fall of dust that shook from the rafters at that pounding. No one ever came to the shop before her curtains were opened. She only opened them when she was ready for business, and she was never ready before the sun began to rise. Anyone who knew her would simply come around to the back and call her name. Anyone who wanted her this urgently knew the shop was unlocked. No one knocked in their settlement. Everyone knew each other and felt at home in all the houses and businesses. Whoever was pounding on her door was a stranger. And strangers never came to their settlement.

 _BOOM, BOOM, BOOM._

"I know you're in there."

Mao gave a soft scream against the back of one hand. The knuckles of the hand holding the lantern were white. "Who…who's there!"

"My name is…Kiku. I need help."

"How did you know I was here?"

"I saw you enter."

"We don't get strangers here. I can't help you. Go away."

Silence. Mao dared to hope. But then, "Please," the stranger said. "Please."

Mao chewed her lip. The person sounded female. That might be all right. "Where did you come from?"

"…North."

North. Mao's worry evaporated at once. There was nothing north of them. If the stranger had said south, then she would have had to slip out the back and try one of her neighbors for assistance. Southerners were all war-crazy, abnormal, super-powered, ninja terrorists. Smiling now, she hurried toward the front door and pulled it open. A tall person stood on the stoop swaddled in a cloak more suited for summer. Upon opening the door wider Mao was hit with a blast of heat…and realized it was coming from the stranger. Somewhat frightened again, she closed the door halfway and blocked it with her body. "There's nothing north. How did you come to be there?"

The stranger was silent for a long time. Mao sensed she was being studied. And then the stranger said, "An exploration committee sent by my village's library. We were sent to…gather data on the weather patterns and their effect on the flora and fauna of certain extreme conditions. We were hit by a storm and…I fear I'm the only survivor. Please. I'm…not well."

Mao found herself leaning out the door, so engrossed was she in this tale. She swung the door wide now and swept her arm in an arc of welcome. "Come. I have sweet breads and milk. Are you hungry?"

The stranger passed her and that heat was stiff and palpable. Mao felt the hairs on her arm rise, and rushed to shut the door. "No," the stranger said. Then, "Yes, actually, I am. Sweet bread sounds lovely. Thank you."

"Of course, miss. Here. Sit down. It's warm in here, would you like to remove your cloak?"

"No…I'm more comfortable with it on. New places and people frighten me. That's why this expedition was so welcome. Just me and a few friends. All the dark and silence of the north. It was wonderful. And call me Kiku."

Mao marveled that Kiku seemed to know just what to say to put her heart at ease. She set a plate of still-hot sweet breads chock full of raisins and coconut before her, and poured a mug full of frothy new milk. She left the pitcher on the table. "Eat your fill. Holler if you'd like more, there's plenty."

"Thank you." She withdrew a hand from inside her cloak and reached for the bread. "I'm afraid I don't have any money."

"That's fine! How long will you be here? And…come to think of it, where did you live before the expedition? What village did you say your library belonged to?"

Kiku took her time chewing. "We're a peaceful place. We don't like to hand the name of our village around to strangers. We don't want to risk war. Sorry." Kiku shrugged. Reached for another piece of bread. "It's a habit we adopt whenever outside our village. Hard to break."

"Oh, I understand _completely_." She did, too. Her mind now thoroughly at ease, she fanned herself a bit and smiled. "You sure give off a lot of heat. Were you running?"

The chewing stopped. Mao continued to frown and smile, until Kiku slowly reached for the milk. "No. I think I'm sick. Fever."

" _Oh_. Well do you have a place to rest?"

"No."

"You can stay with me if you want. I live upstairs."

"Alone? No men?"

"Mhm! There's plenty of space, too. My mother passed a few years ago, so…" She saw that the plate and pitcher were both empty.

"Thank you. I accept your offer with gratitude. Miss…?"

"Oh, just Mao. Do you want to come up now?"

Kiku stood, and Mao took that for a yes.

* * *

"Yup, it's just been me these five years now," Mao said as she pushed open her apartment door. "I sleep in her room. Makes me feel close to her, you know? So you can have my old room. I think it'll do. It's clean and all, so yeah. Bathroom's over there. Here's the living room. Kitchen. And that's it! What do you think?" She turned around and watched Kiku's hood turning this way and that.

"Your offer is very generous and this is very cozy, but I don't know. Is there anyplace in this settlement that has a room I can stay in? Alone? I'd feel safer."

"Safer? From what? There's no place at all as safe as Last Town. That's the name of our little town here. We call it that because it's the last town before the north. Trust me, no one here will hurt you. Least of all little ole me. Look how big you are next to me, you're almost a giant. And anyway, no one else has room. You could stay with Goro but he's old and always looking to marry someone's daughter. He does have a basement that's pretty empty, though. He'll want payment. And even if you're not ugly he'll want that payment to be you."

Kiku shuddered. "Here's fine. I'm sure I'll feel comfortable soon. What day is it?"

"February twenty-fifth."

Mao saw the mouth beneath that hood give a tremulous smile. She grinned back. "I need to go down and finish my work or there'll be no baked goods for anyone today. Have a sleep! I'll wake you for lunch." And with that she skipped out the door and pattered lightly down the stairs.

-oOo-

Hinata pulled her hood back with a groan and headed for the bedroom she'd been offered. She stopped before she reached it, glanced at the apartment door, and saw that it had no lock. Even so, she detoured to Mao's late mother's bedroom and spent some time doing a quick and thorough search. Same for the living room and kitchen. Satisfied that she had a better idea of who she was staying with, she went to her new room and shut the door. No lock here either.

She would hear Mao's approach, so she wasn't worried. What worried her was that she would sense the girl long before she heard her. She'd walked through Last Town clearly aware of who was in the houses. A family of five there, a husband and wife there. Then up ahead she'd seen a smallish girl/woman coming out of a barn with a wagon laden with pails. Milk, she saw. The girl entered a square structure and she'd followed. Waited at the door as she sensed what the girl was doing. Cooking. She knocked.

Even without her _Byakugan_ she could see the girl. Eyes closed, she was fed an acute awareness of the girl's fear, the way she crept toward her pounding. Then, unbelievably, an impression of the girl's thoughts came to her. Fearing ninja. Violence. Strangers. She'd responded to the questions with words meant to set the girl at ease. When she'd gained entrance, the impressions sharpened immeasurably. She could all but see the girl's memories, and knew it was her child doing this. Helping her. And now, she could sense Mao downstairs, slipping a pan of pies into an oven and smiling. No suspicion on her part. Happy and excited about her guest upstairs and eager to tell the settlement of this unprecedented news.

That, of course, could not be allowed to happen.

Hinata returned her senses to herself. She'd messed up, she realized. She couldn't keep her face hidden indefinitely, nor could she hide the fact that she was pregnant for long. The fever ruse would also need to be adjusted if her body temperature remained the same. _I shouldn't have come here, shouldn't have told Mao I was from the north._ She couldn't see an alternative, though. If she'd said she was from anywhere else she'd have been turned away, and right now there was nowhere else for her to go. Her baby wouldn't let her leave.

She recalled telling Sasuke when he'd asked how Naruto's baby would be born that Naruto was six months along. At getting the date from Mao, she realized she'd been wrong. By quite a bit. The weeks of darkness had skewed her reckoning. Naruto had been five months pregnant when he delivered. If her own pregnancy followed the same pattern she wouldn't have long before she delivered herself.

-oOo-

Once she'd put away her few belongings, she removed her cloak and sat on the bed. The rape was now three months in the past. Her pregnancy had taken root mere hours later. She knew her child was powerful, but how powerful? Beyond being able to control her body against her will, healing, strength, and now apparent mind-reading, just how much power was she carrying inside her?

 _I guess it's time I found out._

Sweat dampened her skin. She forced herself to calm down. Took a deep breath. Another.

She could feel her baby, she realized. Feel his awareness of her and her surroundings. A weight in her belly. Not his physical weight, but the weight of power. It only scared her more. She accessed her _Byakugan_.

A boy. Fully formed. And staring back at her.

She put a hand over her mouth. Managed to keep in her scream. It was his eyes that she could feel, that left that weighted feeling of power. And it wasn't _Byakugan_. It was nothing she'd ever seen before, but she sensed it was still immature.

Her _Doujutsu_ wavered a moment as tears blurred her vision. She put a hand over her abdomen, over him. "Hi," she whispered.

He put his little hand against her womb, where hers was.

"Oh God."

Beyond his eyes she saw nothing physically abnormal. He was large for three months but not developing ahead of schedule like Naruto's baby had done. Or maybe he was. That much control of his muscles shouldn't be possible for three months' gestation. But he looked normal. Normal body parts. Only his chakra was strange. Connected to his strange eyes and different from the chakra he'd displayed during her fight with Tsunade. The chakra he'd shown then was repressed…but after a minute she could see this too. His tiny pathways glowed far more potently than that of an ordinary ninja, even a grown one. It even felt familiar. The way she'd felt whenever she'd sat by Naruto during his pregnancy. And before, when he'd come to the estate after his argument with Sasuke. His chakra had manifested while she'd been comforting him. Which meant, repressed or not, that part of the Kyuubi lived in her child.

She released her _Byakugan_. Put her face in her hands. "Damn you, Naruto. _Damn_ _you_."

Her tears were soon spent. She just didn't have the energy, and she was so tired of crying. She felt as if she'd been crying her whole life. Weary, she scooted back until she could lay her head on her pillow, a hand tucked beneath her cheek, her other hand over her son. She thought of Mao. Of what she could possibly say to her that would keep her from alerting the villagers to her presence. The girl was skittish and easily frightened, but so sweet and honest. She couldn't hurt her. She didn't want to hurt anyone. If only she could leave this place…

She slept.

* * *

Mao took the last tray of rolls from the oven and arranged them on a rack. Leaned down to sniff them appreciatively. "My best work yet." She said that every morning. And like every morning, she turned from tidying up her kitchen to enter the shop proper and open her curtains, signaling that she was ready for business.

 _Unlike_ every morning, there was someone standing directly behind her when she turned to complete this daily ritual.

After a second of fright she realized it was her new guest. She blinked. The hair was longer than anyone in Last Town wore theirs, well past Kiku's hips, and shaggy to boot. The bangs obscured the eyes, but then her attention was caught by something else: there was a ball of glowing orangish light in Kiku's hand. Her fear returned ten-fold.

 _Ninja!_

She thought maybe she turned to flee, or tried to…things became very confusing. She was screaming, or thinking about screaming, but no sound came out of her mouth. A hand was at her throat, and now she could see the eyes. Pale. Also glowing with yellowish-orange light, and marked by some kind of flower pattern. The ball of light in Kiku's hand was pressed into her chest, where the hand itself disappeared…and then she thought no more.

* * *

Hinata woke with a gasp. A sound to her left had her flinching, but it was only Mao. She was setting a tray on the bedside table. When she straightened, Mao looked at her and showed no surprise. A closer look revealed no expression whatsoever on the girl. Nothing save a small smile that, when coupled with Mao's blank stare, struck Hinata as being completely unnatural. "Mao? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. Brought you some food. Will you be needing anything else?"

Something made Hinata brush her bangs aside, revealing her eyes. As she suspected, there was no reaction. "Mao-"

Images swelled in her mind: her body rising from this very bed and going downstairs. Doing…something…to Mao.

Hinata pushed herself upright and strove for calm. Mao, she realized, was essentially a puppet now, one being controlled by her son. The girl would reveal nothing, say nothing, do nothing, but what her son wanted. She felt an urge to vomit. "No, Mao. That will be all, thank you."

Mao left.

Hinata sent the tray of food crashing against the wall with a sweep of her arm. She couldn't scream, lest she alert the people of this godforsaken place to her presence and thus put them in danger from her son, but she crashed her fist through the wall behind her bed, and bit at her hands until the skin was in shreds.

The mirror across the room revealed a madwoman. Wild hair, bloody mouth, hands dripping blood. She held her hands in front of her and watched them heal. And then she felt her body forcibly laid on the bed and her mind overtaken, despite her real attempts to scream now, as sleep rolled over her again.

* * *

It was no longer a metaphorical nightmare. Her terror was real and utterly tangible in the usurpation of her mind and body. If this was what Naruto had felt, then she had new sympathy for him. Her mind, her thoughts, were only allowed to travel in a narrow line; she could no longer entertain thoughts on hurting herself, or she would find herself going to sleep. She couldn't think of leaving the apartment or she would find herself asleep. It was the same for everything she did or thought about doing. She was permitted two actions. Eating and going to the bathroom. She was allowed thoughts on one thing. Her son.

Thus hampered, she dwelled on him obsessively. Speculated on the nature of his powers. On the strength and extent of them. She was soon well versed in every aspect of his anatomy, but the precise nature of his powers eluded her. As a month crept by, she was able to conclude that he did, in fact, have some form of _Byakugan_. But that was all she could discern.

That, and the fact that in a lot ways he was more powerful than Sasuke and Naruto's son.

-oOo-

When he was big enough for his movements to be felt, she thought to herself that this was it. Things could not be worse. She would go still at those times. He was so _strong_. A kick from him would double her over on a gasp. It was all she could do to breathe. That was in the beginning, though. Too soon, his strength increased.

His active periods were the worst. He would stretch and flex his body for upwards of an hour while she lay wherever she'd fallen, unable to scream in her agony as she felt her ribs snap, her lungs punctured, her spleen ruptured, or her spine crack. How her womb withstood him without tearing was no doubt due to his healing, just as he always healed her. She would lie shuddering as she felt her bones and organs repaired, damaged, and repaired again. After, she would weakly roll to her back and sob in defeat.

Still, there was a bright side. Her son had no control over her emotions. That was something. She struggled not to hate him. To remain positive. Naruto's hatred of his son had been horrible to witness. She'd thought it was weakness on is part, a private belief that he was being selfish and immature, but she had a better idea of how difficult it must have been for him not to. He'd lost far more than she had as a result of his baby. She was only losing herself.

It was hard. But she got no sense of malice from her son. Not really. Not even when he took over her body and controlled her senses. She thought maybe he was only protecting himself by controlling her and Mao. He made the girl bring up an abundance of food throughout the day that she then consumed. All he was doing was making sure that he lived. Anyone would do that. And for the rest, well, he was a baby. All babies moved and tested their strength. He probably had no true understanding of pain since he was able to heal. Had no idea what he was putting her through. So she didn't hate him. But she was scared. So scared. Scared of what her child could do, of things he perhaps hadn't demonstrated yet. Scared of bringing such a child into the world. Already he sucked her dry of chakra on a daily basis. That he was able to contain her chakra as well as his own in his small body was duly noted. What he'd be capable of once born was not something she wanted to think about.

-oOo-

She had one respite, and that was the infrequent times she found herself awake while he slept. His power over her dulled and she found her thoughts marginally her own. She'd long since discovered that she could alter nothing about herself or her surroundings during these times—such as acquiring poison—but she could think about other things. He could only read thoughts she was currently having, not thoughts she'd entertained while he slept. Past memories he could read. Past thoughts, no. She'd needed weeks to train her mind to have no memory of the thoughts, though.

She always thought of Naruto at these times. She had to get to him. Now that he was himself, he was the only one who could help her, she was sure of it. She'd told him it wasn't his baby, but that was back when she'd still had hopes of delivering a normal child. Even though that same child had prevented her suicide and demonstrated such power during her fight with Tsunade, she'd hoped he'd be normal. Now, in full awareness of the monster she was carrying, she was ready and willing to acknowledge Naruto as his other parent.

But how to get to him? Try as she might, she could think of no way to leave the settlement. Nothing changed. Nothing except the slow erosion of her will and the equally gradual increase of her dread. She suffered through his active periods, cried silent tears whenever he subdued her mind, and prayed for assistance. Someone had to help her. Anyone. Unless someone helped her, she was finished. Mao continued to feed her. She lost count of how many times she'd tried to get through to the girl, to perhaps snap her out of the jutsu, but of course her son wouldn't let her. When not working the girl was sent to her room, where she remained until it was time for her to work again. She neither spoke nor responded when spoken to. Even so, Hinata never gave up hope that something would change. Something _had_ to change.

* * *

She was six months pregnant and large as a house before a solution glimmered into existence. And it was unknowingly handed to her by her son.

Sometimes when he commandeered her senses, he didn't put her to sleep. She didn't know if this was an oversight on his part, or if he simply felt it unnecessary, but she would lay unable to move, eyes forced closed, while being fully awake. She never knew why afterward, but during one such episode, while she sensed his mind roaming far and wide, she slowly, gently, oh so softly followed his connection to her into his own mind. She pulled back at once, afraid he'd notice her, but crept into him once more when nothing happened. Looking carefully, she was able to study his abilities at long last. What she found gave her the worst fright yet, but it was also encouraging. There was much he could do. God. So much. But one ability in particular could be her salvation.

She bided her time. His movements now all but killed her, big as he was, but he always healed her. After, she would try to gentle him by rubbing her stomach. He would imitate her, rubbing her stomach from within, and it was at these times that she prayed he wasn't evil. He was just a baby. A creature of instinct. Powerful, but innocent. He could learn love and compassion. She had to believe that. And she loved him, she decided. Sometimes she said that aloud to him. Sometimes she just held her belly, closed her eyes, and tried to send this knowledge to him with her thoughts. She was never sure if he knew or understood, but these actions soothed her. It was during one of these soothing periods that a name for him came to her.

-oOo-

Finally. She was nearly in her seventh month. He slept more and more, and controlled her less. His time was near, she sensed. Which meant her time had to be now. She'd spent the past weeks deliberately lulling him with her meekness. He was confident that she was weaker than he was, and thus no longer a threat. Good. She would have to be quick. Quick and exceptionally precise.

His rest periods were usually no more than three or four hours every few days, but now he slept several times a day. She waited until he'd been sleeping for an hour before closing her eyes and focusing all her concentration inward. On his mind and his chakra. She had no chakra of her own, but that was fine.

She went quickly, but carefully, envisioning his connection to her as a nebulous strand of thought. She slid along it, inching ever closer to the vivid cloud that was his chakra. Hidden in that cloud were starbursts of power, things he could do. She saw clearly the way the ones he was using were brighter than the ones he wasn't. And the ones he wasn't using were brighter than the ones he didn't know about. Those lurked in shadowy places in the cloud. She moved toward one of the unknowns, a big one, with all the stealth of a floating feather. Once there, she examined it closely. Scrutinized it as she hadn't been able to do previously for fear of alerting him to this ability and its properties.

Just by touching it with her mind she was able to sense Naruto. Practically see him. Even stronger was the image of his son, now larger and fatter than when he'd been born. She spent a moment looking at them, analyzing the amount of chakra it would take to do what she had to do. A lot. More than she possessed on her best day. This was something probably only a handful of people in the shinobi world could do, if that many. Possibly no one but her son could do this. That was all right, though. She'd be using his chakra, and she wouldn't be using the full range of the jutsu. Only a tiny part. She was counting on the fact that he was unfamiliar with what she was about to do. When he tried to stop her, and he would, those first seconds of fumbling on his part would make all the difference.

She turned to his chakra now. His pathways were so brilliant that she couldn't see individual pathways at all. She took a moment to steady herself. Firmed her determination until it was as hard and bright as she could make it. Until there was no doubt in her mind of success. She could do this. She _would_ do this. It was the only way.

 _Quick and precise_. _Quick. And. Precise._

She snatched at his chakra, successfully attached herself to his pathways, and drew on it long and hard. She was flooded with strength. Vital. Energized. Full and powerful as she'd been in her fight with Tsunade, she _screamed_ in triumph, leaping off the bed. She could feel his swift return, but she had a wall ready to block him from swarming over her mind, a wall he ran into and rebounded off of with palpable surprise. The jutsu was ready in her mind. Ready to execute…

…and nothing happened.

During the second or two it took for her to realize she didn't know the hand seals or the words to activate the jutsu, and that she lacked the power of mind to do so without vocalization, her son slammed into her wall with enough force to have blood spurting from her nose and vomit surging up the back of her throat. Her brain felt as if it were being torn in two, but even so she fought him. Blocked his grab for the jutsu, blocked the attempt to muzzle her senses.

* * *

Downstairs, Mao blinked and had no idea where she was, who she was, or what she was doing. A crash from her apartment had her frowning upward. And then memory returned. Kiku. A strange ninja woman. Upstairs. She'd attacked her here in her very own kitchen.

Mao ran for the front door, bypassing the customers she'd been helping-

 _What? How? I don't even remember them coming in…_

\- until she stood in the middle of Last Town's one street, screaming at the top of her lungs.

* * *

She wasn't strong enough to stop him. That much became obvious when he summarily trampled her hold on him after his initial surprise. He spent a few seconds figuratively sniffing at what she'd been trying to do, exploring the jutsu she'd uncovered, before deciding it was nothing he cared about. He turned to her.

When Naruto had raped her, a part of her thought afterward that there could not possibly be anything worse than his assault. Not even dying could be as bad as that. Unless someone tortured you, death was relatively quick. Even in torture, the solace of knowing you were resisting an enemy, serving your country, or protecting your friends surely helped ease the transition from life to death. But Naruto. She'd loved him. And she knew that on some level he'd loved her too. Not the way he loved Sasuke, but in his own way. To know he could do this to her, that something in him could overpower his strength and loyalty so thoroughly and have her suffer at his hands… He who'd never been anything but kind to her... He was dense sometimes, but never intentionally so. Her biggest champion. To know it was happening through his body had been worse than the assault itself. And the assault had been very bad…

…yet _nothing_ compared to what her son did now. It hurt her to see him, really see at long last that he truly was a monster.

She'd told Naruto once that sometimes something bad had to happen in order for something good to come along. And though Sasuke had guarded his baby religiously from any contact with her, she'd been able to see what a good little boy he was. Always staring at Sasuke, waiting for his smiles. Attuned to his surroundings and the people in them. Always happy to see her because of the baby he could sense she was carrying. His sibling. And she thought maybe he'd just liked her despite never being held by her. He'd smiled at her a few times when Sasuke wasn't looking. She'd hoped desperately to bring a child as good and pure into the world. It would negate the rape and its horror if she could bring a piece of Naruto into the world and have it love her as much as Sasuke's and Naruto's son obviously loved them.

But her son was the end of all hope. The end of her dreams. There would be no years of raising a child, with her the proud mother. No introducing her father to his first grandson. No watching him grow up and train with Neji. He was the end of all that. And the end of her, it seemed. She saw now that he _did_ understand, and that he _didn't_ care. Was incapable of caring. He was a creature thwarted, who now meant to establish his dominance. He didn't like being defied. And, like any infant who'd been denied, he threw a tantrum.

Hinata considered it a blessing that he'd subdued her senses so ruthlessly. She couldn't feel when he repeatedly rammed her head into the stone wall. Her brain took severe damage, leaked from her nose and ears and her pulverized skull, but she was far beneath the surface operations of her brain. Her consciousness watched as he lashed out physically with his own body, breaking her pelvis in three places, demolishing her rib cage and sternum, and completely annihilating her lungs and heart.

Here he stopped.

It was a mark of his cruelty that he didn't heal her. He gave some attention to her lungs when he began to suffer from lack of oxygen, as well as her heart. But he left the rest of her broken. She saw one of her eyes on the floor near the bed, trodden to a shapeless jelly by the frenzy he'd put her body through.

Sounds. People outside. Yelling. Storming the bakery, voices raised in fear and hate.

He turned to them with something akin to hunger, and she watched as he got his first taste of violence against another.

-oOo-

She mourned Mao, who led the charge with a butcher knife, and who was thus cut down by her hand plunging into the girl's chest. It came out again with the girl's heart clutched in her broken fingers. She grieved, too, for the men whose heads she tore from their shoulders, for the women whose faces and breasts she mutilated with her teeth, for the children, the poor children who ran from her only to be chased down and have their throats torn out with hands and teeth both. She was deeply saddened that this should be her legacy, this instrument of destruction. She lamented every word of anger she'd ever given Naruto, every hateful thought she'd had about him because of the rape or his own anger. _This_ was what he'd gone through, and it truly had not been him. She grieved for him, for herself, and for these defenseless people who'd numbered less than two hundred.

But she was not unaware. And now, approaching her time, she found strength that bypassed her physical body. Her soul, in leaving her body, had access to unlimited power, unlimited knowledge. It was too much to process, and she had very little time. An instant. One instant to hold all her son's power in the palm of her celestial hand and send two messages. One went north, the other went south. She couldn't stop him, not even with this power; she was leaving this plane of existence for another, higher plane. But maybe she could help him. She had to believe he could be saved. He'd shattered her dreams, but there was still hope. She was his mother and he was her responsibility.

She altered one of the messages.

When she was done, she took the jutsu she'd originally tried to use and handled it with ease. Thus was her son removed from his scene of carnage and deposited where he needed to be. It was all she could do. She had no more time. Everything was fading.

 _Naruto. Sasuke. I'm so sorry, but I'm putting him in your care. Forgive me._


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: A big shoutout to the person who can guess where Icky and the new kid's powers come from. And for those of you who know me, and know my work, you know that despite this chapter, if I say to trust me, that trust is well-placed. But I don't write fluff. This is angst. And this might be a hard chapter for you to read. All I'm going to say is the pairing's on the fic. NaruSasu.

* * *

Chapter 5

The day after Sachi's arrival, Sasuke sat in front of her, an ankle on one knee, and a look of boredom on his face. Ikioi was upstairs with clones of him and Naruto. Naruto, in Sage Mode, stood behind Sasuke's chair.

Sasuke began questioning her. "Start with why the council would tell you anything about their plans before you actually launch into their plans."

Sachi blinked. "Why? Does it matter why they told me? The fact is they did, and-"

"I'm sorry, is there a problem here? Because I distinctly remember telling you that I'd be asking the questions. You agreed to answer them. I don't like repeating myself. Why. Did they. Tell you."

Her hands opened and closed on her knees. "I'm really not sure what you mean."

"Is that right. I feel like the question is straightforward. I feel like whenever you evade it's because you're lying. Or holding back something you know will piss me off. And if _that_ continues, I'm pretty sure I'll feel like killing you. In fact, I'm already there. The only thing keeping you alive is what you might say. I might decide I don't care. See, I don't _need_ your information. It's just handy to have. Now." He dropped his chin into one hand. "Shall we try this again?"

Sachi burst into tears.

"That'll make me kill you faster. Honestly, maybe I should just get it out of the way, this is ridiculous. " The foot on his knee dropped to the floor.

She tried to stop. "I would never hurt you and I'm _not_ _lying!_ I love you!"

"I couldn't care less. The council. Why'd they confide in you?"

His words hurt her, they could see, but they did the job of silencing her crying. She was in better control of herself now. "They…didn't. I sort of just took the information."

"How?"

She stared at her lap.

"Right. Let's just get the matter of your eyes out of the way, okay? Show me."

"I don't-"

 _Amaterasu_ vaporized her chair and would have done her in too if she didn't dive aside at the last second. No vanishing act. She'd been told she'd be banished or killed if she ever did it again. She screamed at Sasuke now, demonstrating knowledge of some very colorful language.

Sasuke merely put out the flames. "Show me."

Sachi shook back her hair to reveal _Sharingan_. "I hate you!"

"Love, hate, whatever. It was _Genjutsu_ , then. Hmph. You'd think people elected to office would have safeguards against that sort of thing. Their stupidity is nothing short of terrifying. _Now_ tell me about the council's plans."

Sachi, trembling mightily, stood and looked around for a place to sit. There was none. She glared at Sasuke through the tangle of her hair. At Naruto. Naruto was watching her with deceptive calm. She knew the level of his hatred even if he no longer had the power to back it up. And Sasuke. He looked at her as if she was nothing. As if she would never be anything, to him or anybody else. It was a moment before she placed his expression as one of contempt.

Abruptly, she decided she was through playing their game.

"You demand honesty from me," she said. "I'd like to demand some honesty of my own. Why in God's name are you both so hostile towards me? From the moment I showed up you've hated me. No. It's like you hated me before you even knew me. Why? What have I done?"

Neither of them answered her. Sasuke said, "The council's plans. Now."

Sachi tilted her head. The shine in her eyes was no longer due to tears. "You think I fear you. I've let you think that. _Helped_ you think that. But the more I get to know you, the less I feel you deserve the courtesy of my obedience. I came here with the intention of bonding with you. I _don't_ want to be sent away…but the truth is you can't send me anywhere. I thought if I bent for you that you'd soften towards me. Maybe trust me. But I really don't see a reason to continue making myself less just to please you."

This speech was delivered in a low voice that quivered with emotion. During it, Sasuke and Naruto uncoiled from their relaxed positions; Sachi's chakra escalated with her words until they were both sweating with the weight of it. Naruto held _Rasengan_ in each hand.

"We don't trust you because you're associated with Madara and won't tell us how," Sasuke said. "We know you're lying to us."

"You _know_ nothing. My actions should speak for themselves. I haven't hurt you, nor do I intend to."

"What's your interest in Icky?" Naruto asked.

Her eyes slid to him. "A new kinsman. Supposedly powerful. My interest is natural curiosity."

"I don't buy it," Naruto said. "And I'm done with this. I don't trust you and I'm through tolerating you." He launched himself at her.

"Naruto, wait-!" Sasuke blinked at the room. Naruto was gone. Sachi stood as she was, her posture unchanged. _Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan_ spun into place.

"Before you release _Amaterasu_ or _Susanoo_ or whatever you have planned, consider this. I can take your son. I haven't. I can put you outside of this world and leave you there. I haven't. Do-"

 _Amaterasu_ enveloped her. Sasuke narrowed his eyes at feeling her disappear, then bellowed between his teeth at hearing Icky scream. He felt his clones disperse a moment later and had the image of Sachi's smile goading him as he exploded up the stairs.

-oOo-

She was holding Ikioi.

Sasuke checked himself. Held on to the _Ninjutsu_ he was about to release. "Give me my son."

"Not yet. I need you to understand that I could kill him and disappear to where you'd never find me. Or I could kill you. Or send you away. Any way you look at it you don't have any real power over me. You know it. You know I'm holding back. You know how _much_ I'm holding back. Or suspect, at any rate. Right?" She looked down at Icky, who was stiff, on the brink of crying, and looking nowhere but at his father. "Ugh, he's so _cute!_ " She pinched his cheek.

Sasuke held his son's stare. During their month of training he and Naruto had reached a conclusion: Icky could not, in fact, use the powers he'd been born with. Not unless emotionally driven to do so. They'd asked him countless times to do lightning, often with Sasuke demonstrating it, or to do the space/time jutsu. He remained incapable of either unless an animal was Summoned. And that was only for lightning. The space/time jutsu had necessitated Naruto throwing Icky off the roof. Sasuke had been wild in his fury, but Naruto countered his attack and declared it good practice in his Kyuubi-less state. Then laughed. Sasuke wanted to kill him. The deduction from that bit of business was that the greater the ability Icky needed to use, the greater his distress needed to be. He was too young, his powers too large, and his control too unsure for Sasuke to risk telling him to defend himself now. His son was scared, but he wasn't sure how scared. His safety came first. Keeping his eyes on Icky's, he said, "What do you want?"

Sachi didn't immediately answer. She sniffed Icky's spiky hair. Rubbed her cheek in it. Squeezed him and kissed his head, which had the baby issuing a soft mewl of misery. He reached for his father. "I want you to give me a chance," Sachi said. She looked up at Sasuke. "One chance to show you I'm not bad. I can be your friend, Sasuke. If you let me."

He really didn't have a choice. There was more to her and her powers. He could feel it. And until he found out what they were, there was only one option open to him. Especially given the fact that Naruto was no longer present. He released his chakra. Blinked his eyes to normal. "Where's Naruto."

"Safe. Probably not happy, but certainly in no danger."

"How do I know that?"

She shrugged. "I guess you don't. But why would I lie? It's not like you can take me."

"Bring him back then."

"Mmm…no. He keeps trying to kill me and I don't like him."

Sasuke took a measured step into the room. Her eyes followed him. "Give. Me. My _son_."

Sachi held him up.

Sasuke snatched him and moved back. Icky shook in his arms, hung onto his shirt, and buried his face in Sasuke's chest. He cried at long last. Sasuke, for his part, was unable to keep from accessing _Mangekyo_. He kept it, glaring at her as he stroked Icky's back. He wanted nothing more than to kill Sachi. But her calm in the face of his wrath spoke for itself. "One chance," he bit out. "One."

"Thank-"

" _Get out."_

She bowed her head and was gone.

* * *

In the house she'd chosen for herself, he was waiting. Secreted in the shadows between the small book stand and the wall in the main room. "What," she said.

"What? What, you say. Years of planning that you are throwing away, that's what. Madara was specific."

She went to the window and leaned her elbows on the sill. The ocean was melted. Large icebergs floated on it, pitching and swaying. "I'm aware. But Sasuke is mine."

"That child."

"Also aware."

"You could have taken them both. We could be-"

She turned around. Found his eyes, small and shiny in the shadows. "I don't care about your plan, okay! That was you and my father. I did what I was told, but I have my own plans. _Sasuke_. He's all I care about."

"…You play a dangerous game."

"Leave me alone."

He left.

* * *

When he'd leapt at Sachi, Naruto led with both _Rasengan_. Not only did Sachi stand her ground, she reached for him, grabbed his wrists, and took his chakra right out of him in less than a second. All of it. Gone in less time than it took for him to blink. She hadn't sucked it, either, or absorbed it. Those actions took time. No, she touched him and his chakra was gone. That wasn't the worst, though. The worst was that in the same motion, she transported him to someplace that was killing him, and killing him quick.

He'd always been able to think on his feet. Always been able to bale his ass out of a jam, but those actions required chakra. He had none.

It was night and it was cold. Colder than the coldest night in the land he'd claimed. And night no longer really existed in his land. They'd switched over to day. So he had to conclude that he was far from Sasuke and Icky. Whatever.

He was terrified.

One: No chakra.

Two: No Kyuubi, ergo no chakra from _him_.

Three: Cold didn't begin to describe this place. He couldn't breathe. He could feel his eyes, nose, hands, feet…just about everything not located in or on his torso freezing solid. He was dying.

Such was his awareness of his vulnerability that his mind shot into overdrive. Each second stretched to what felt like a minute, and that was his only advantage. He was able to determine that he had about ten seconds before his heart really stopped. Three of those had now passed. He was on his side, unable to move. The shock to his system was fast inhibiting his mind's ability to give his body commands, but he rolled over. Felt ice crunch under him. Saw the peculiar sight of floating ice crystals in the air despite no snowfall. Kept rolling until he was on his other side.

Five seconds.

Lights in the distance. A station of some kind.

Six seconds.

He dared not touch the ground to push himself to his feet, but he used elbows and knees, his uncovered hands tucked into his armpits.

Seven seconds.

His heart was starting to stutter, and his eyes were icing over.

Three hundred yards to that station. He could make it in one leap with Sage Mode, two or three with normal chakra. He had three seconds. Sage mode would take him two. One second to leap.

 _God, please help me._

He was still. Too cold to even tremble. Sage Mode came. He leapt in the direction of the station, now blind, but he passed out mid-leap.

* * *

Akamaru turned in a futile circle, nose to the snow, but was forced to sit and hang his head. He whined.

Kiba scratched the dog's head, squinting at the landscape. "I know, boy. I know." He raised his voice in a shout. "Guys! That's it. We head back."

The other Inuzuka on his team raised their hands or howled in acknowledgement.

-oOo-

Sakura heard his report in her tent, head between her hands. "I picked up his scent a few times. Weird. Laden with Kyuubi. But it's been too long. Scent's _long_ gone, and so is any trail we could have followed. Barely got a whiff here and there as it was."

"Then we keep heading north-"

"North _where_. If our other friend is north, we'd need to form a circle that spans the entire seventy degree latitude point, which we're right below, and shrink that circle upward toward eighty degrees."

She knew they had nowhere near enough people to do that. "What are you saying, then? That we give up?" She lifted her head to glare at him. "Because that's not happening."

Kiba ran a hand through his hair. "The villages around here aren't even villages. They're tiny settlements scared shitless of us. Which would be fine if they had food. They don't. Not enough to feed us. There's no place for us to get supplies. We're not going to make it another month here."

She looked away from him. Stood up, hugged her elbows. Paced back and forth several times as she thought. Then she barged out of the tent.

The villagers had arrived six weeks ago. She stepped into a sprawling yet orderly encampment that went silent at seeing her. She jumped to the tree stump she used to address them all and raised her voice. "Locating our friend's trail has failed. We're nearly out of supplies, and have no prospects for acquiring more. We're stuck. If there's anyone who has a suggestion, I'm willing to hear it, but we are _not_ going back. The person who suggests it better think twice before doing so." She jumped down and went back to her tent.

-oOo-

Shortly afterward Inoichi, Gai, Kakashi, Shikaku, Shibi, Hiashi, and Tsume entered. "Tell me you have ideas," Sakura begged them. "Or better yet, one of you take over. Please." She was close to tears.

Kiba stood behind her and squeezed her shoulder while Kakashi spoke. "You're the leader," he said. "And that's that. The villagers recognize you as such. We're just your advisors."

"But _why?_ "

"Sakura-chan, you must embrace your youth!" Gai intoned. "You were the one who's stood by Naruto, you were the one who led your friends here. And you're the one holding us together. Your determination and that of your friends has inspired us. We'll follow your lead. End of discussion. No more complaints, hm?"

She nodded. Kiba's hand felt good. She looked to Inoichi. "Ino? Any word?"

He rubbed his chin. "None since her report that they were in, and that future updates might take longer than expected. Konoha has undergone such a radical change that information is all in one place, held by a select few. Those individuals never leave that building, and getting in is nearly impossible. She hasn't given up, though. Nor will she. I know my daughter."

"And I know my son," Shikaku added. "He'll find a way in despite how closely they're watched. We just have to wait."

"But how long can we wait?" Sakura said. "What are we waiting for? To starve? That's the only thing we have to look forward to. Information on our friend's whereabouts isn't forthcoming. If we can't find him, that's it! We're done!"

"No, we're not," Hiashi said. "It just means that without the sense of smell, we'll be relying on conventional means. Which in turn means that it will take us longer to find Sasuke."

Sakura held her breath. "How much longer?"

"We may be looking at years," Kakashi said quietly. "I propose you send me on a mission in the near future. Me and one other sensor, to discover where Sasuke and Naruto put down roots. Meanwhile, the notion of settling here semi-permanently needs to be addressed. Planting, building-"

"No." Sakura shook her head. "If we do that we'll never find him."

"Yes, we will," Kakashi said patiently. He went and knelt in front of her. Took her frozen hands in his. "I'll find him. Just give me _time_."

"We don't _have_ time!" she shrieked, snatching her hands away. "I can't explain it, but I feel it. We-"

Inoichi's voice was sharp. "A message from Shikamaru via Ino: A meeting between the _Kage_ has taken place. Sunagakure stands by Sasuke, Naruto, Hinata, and the child. The other villages side with Konoha. The child must be acquired. Will not be harmed, but must be monitored. Sasuke must be brought in, Naruto's corpse retrieved. Hinata must also stand trial…and be kept under strict observation, in isolation, for the child she carries. That child, too, must be taken and monitored. Should Sasuke resist, he is to be put down. Acquisition of the children is paramount. Konoha is leading the Procurement, as it's being called, and lays claim to the children. As yet, they have no location for Sasuke, but the Procurement is ready and waiting to go the second they do." He opened his eyes. "That's all."

Sakura had a hand over her mouth. "They know about Hinata's baby?"

"And apparently that she and it defeated Tsunade," Hiashi frowned. "Whom did you tell?"

"Besides you guys? No one! Just the friends I originally came with."

"Someone overheard something, then," Tsume said. "Which means two things. We have spies in our camp, and agents of the Procurement in our camp."

"Could be one and the same. We're over three thousand strong, easy to hide," Inoichi said. "I could scan minds, but that will take time."

Sakura was silent a moment. "No. No one overheard anything. Kakashi-sensei's _ninken_ , and Akamaru would have alerted us if anyone were close enough during our meetings to hear." Those hounds were patrolling the perimeter around her tent as she spoke. "It has to be something else. Some other way they're getting information from us."

The men exchanged glances. "Can everyone in your circle of friends be trusted?" Inoichi asked.

"Of course!"

"Because I just scanned the minds present. It's none of us."

There were mutters of disgruntlement to this.

"My friends would never betray…our other friends. Never." Sakura squeezed the hand Kiba still had on her shoulder. It was comfortingly solid. "They wouldn't."

"I'll need to check them myself," Inoichi said. "If they prove clean, I'll go ahead and begin the process of rooting out our spies." He waited for her nod of permission before ducking out of the tent.

Kakashi also made to leave, but paused at the tent flap. "Is it your final decision to remain mobile?"

"Yes. Send our scouts farther south for food if need be, but we have to last another few weeks. Please. A month. If there's no development in a month, I'll consider moving us south and setting up camp for the foreseeable future. I just can't give up yet."

He bowed his head. "I'll tell the others."

The rest of them filed out. Kiba stayed. He went around lighting candles now that night had fallen, then came back and knelt in front of her. He put his forehead on hers. "It's going to be okay," he said. "I promise."

Her tears were silent. "He needs us. I can feel it, Kiba, I swear."

"I know. Tell me what to do."

Over the interminable months they'd been searching for signs of Naruto and Sasuke, Kiba had been her staunchest supporter. Always encouraging her, siding with her decisions, seeing that they were carried out. When the villagers arrived, it was him who stood by her when she wanted to remain in charge. Him who bolstered her faltering courage when the task of managing so many proved overwhelming. And it was him who whispered what she needed to hear when she wept from strain, as she was doing now. His thumb brushed away the tracks on one cheek.

"Kiss me."

He pulled back. " _What?"_

She stared at him. "What. Is it that big a surprise? You've been more than friendly for a while now, and I'm telling you it's okay. I want it."

He sat back on his heels, frowning. His eyes searched her face. "What is it you want?"

"Whatever you're offering."

"I'm not the kind of guy who'd take you lightly."

She blinked. "I'm not a virgin, if that's what this is about. I'm not looking for a relationship."

"And I'm not looking for a quick fuck." He stood up. "I thought you felt the same."

She watched him storm out of the tent. When she was sure he wasn't coming back she left in search of her other friends. They always took their reports directly from her.

* * *

Konohamaru was having better luck than Kiba. The village catching up to them meant The Society had caught up to them, and prior to Granny's ousting there'd been a girl in The Society he'd been sweet on. She'd sought him out the second the village arrived, and he had every reason to believe that tonight would be the night she finally let him fuck her. Finally. He didn't plan on staying a virgin forever and she was too ripe for him to leave alone.

She was at their meeting spot a few miles from camp. Hidden behind a tree that dripped with melting icicles. "Fumiko?"

She giggled. He followed the sound, and found her behind the tree, as he'd thought. She was naked. "Kono-chan." She held out her arms.

He caught her and put his face in the heaven of her breasts. Large, round, delightfully soft marvels…that he'd sampled many times before. He lifted his head. "Look, I respect your rights and all, but if we're never going to go beyond you letting me see you naked, let me know. Plenty of other fish."

"Mmm. Have you forgotten our arrangement?"

"Marriage. Yeah. Haven't forgotten. But I'm sixteen! You're fourteen, for fuck's sake. We'd have to wait ages. You really want to wait that long?"

She affected a pout, her cherry lips complimenting the sable tone of her hair. "I can't give my virginity to anyone but my husband. And as long as we're waiting for the scouts to find Naruto-"

"About that. Looks like we're going to be here awhile. Between you and me, I don't think Sasuke will be found anytime soon. We're probably going to head south in a month and stay there till Kakashi finds him. I can marry you then. We'll forge documents. It'll be our secret. No one has to know. Okay? It's a sure thing. And _because_ it's sure, giving yourself to me now or later makes no difference. I say now, though. Never know when we might die. You want to die a virgin?"

Her pout was gone, replaced with a sharpness Konohamaru missed as he bent to nip one breast. His hand slid between her thighs. His groan of lust told of his inexperience. If he'd ever been with a girl he'd know what her dryness meant. She made her voice light and breathy, as if his clumsy fingers excited her. "Oh…you know I can't think when you do that. Are you sure we're heading south?"

"Uh huh." He was panting against her, slobbering all over her chest. "Sakura said so."

"And then?"

"Stay there till Kakashi finds Sasuke. Maybe years."

"So we won't know where Sasuke is for years?"

He picked his head up, eyes clouded with desire. "Huh?"

"I meant safe. We'll be safe for the next few years at least?"

"Yeah. If nothing happens during the next month. And trust me, nothing will. I miss Boss and want to help his kid and all, but this rescue mission is dead."

"Okay," she said. "You can fuck me. But be caref-"

Konohamaru pushed her to the ground atop her cloak and covered her body with his.

* * *

Sachi came back later that day. She knocked on the door. Sasuke, sitting in the main room, considered attacking her through the thing. He opened it instead.

She smiled. "I don't have any food. And I haven't eaten in three days. As a sign of goodwill, I thought maybe we could share a meal?"

 _As if you didn't threaten to kill me and my son mere hours ago._ "There's nothing cooked." He opened the door wider.

She walked right in, hands behind her back. Turned to him once he'd shut the door. "Would you mind if I cooked?"

-oOo-

He led the way to the kitchen. Icky was asleep in the sling, which he carried against his stomach. He put an arm around him and sat as she bustled around the kitchen and pantry.

She talked. He watched her like a hawk, but all she did was locate what she needed and talk. Not about him, surprisingly, or her dreams of him. Fighting. Jutsu. A few times he found himself really listening, so much so that he neglected to watch for poison being slipped into his food. "You've never fought anyone?" he said in disbelief.

"Beyond my sensei? Nah." She dipped a spoon in one of the pots and sipped. Smacked her lips, frowned. Added a pinch of something. "He said Uchiha jutsu were too distinctive. And anyway, I'd only be fighting if our cover was blown…which was never to happen."

"So he taught you Uchiha techniques? Not easy for someone who isn't Uchiha."

"It's more like he fought me his way, and I was to counter with my way? Was really hard at first. Ouch." She shook her hand where she'd accidentally touched the side of the pot. "He kept instructing me with words. Like, 'Form the seals, feel the chakra, execute.' Just like that. Took me years to really build up an arsenal of _katon_ jutsu. So do you want to?" She turned off the fire and brought the pot to the table.

"What?"

"Fight me. For educational purposes." She brought a plate of flat white discs to the table and set it next to the pot. "Sorry, I only know how to make flat breads. Easier and much quicker than conventional bread."

He stared at the bread, noting absently that whatever she'd made smelled divine. "Let me understand this. You sent Naruto to God knows where. Threatened the life of my son, threatened my life, all with powers you swear far outstrip my own…and now you're offering to fight me?"

She tore a flatbread in half, then fourths, and used this to scoop some of the stew she'd made out of her bowl. Pushed this wad into her mouth and chewed. "Well…I _was_ holding back, and I _can_ do a lot, but my main weapon against you is the space/time thing."

He saw that she had deplorable eating habits; her words were muffled by the food in her mouth. "Explain."

"I can't stand calling it the space/time jutsu either, it's so long. I always called it dipping. Dip here, dip there. Anyway." She swallowed, picked up another piece of bread. "Dipping can get me around anything you throw at me. Reflexes suffice for anything unexpected. Mine our fast. For everything else, I think we might be more or less equal." She stuffed her face again, looked at him with cheeks bulging.

Succumbing to the fact that he hadn't eaten well since Hinata's departure, he pulled the bowl of stew she'd served him closer and reached for a piece of bread. Tore it. "You're saying whatever you have is on par with _Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan?_ " The food was as delicious as it smelled. He struggled not to groan.

"No. I'm saying dipping can get me around your big fancy techniques, but I'd like to pit myself against whatever else you've got."

"Why do I always feel like you're lying?" He helped himself to more stew. Three more pieces of bread.

"Maybe because you're always suspicious." She was on her second bowl.

"Maybe I have reason to be."

"Maybe you've been so hurt in your life, lost so much, that you can't trust when something good happens. I'm family, Sasuke. Tsunade confirmed it herself. Uchiha were a noble and elite clan in their time. How much more so must we be now when we number so few? Do you even know who you are anymore? Yes, I'm dangerous, but so are ninety-nine percent of the people you associate with, I'm sure. I've had encounters with Madara. So have a lot of other people you've crossed paths with."

"Those people are all dead, though."

"They'd tried to kill you. Or someone close to you. I haven't."

"Really?" He made a show of looking around. "Because Naruto's not here and you did threaten me and my son."

She fidgeted on her seat. "I didn't threaten," she mumbled. "I stated…a possibility. Something that _could_ happen. Just wanted you to think about the reality of the situation, was all."

The pot was empty, and the bread was gone. They were sitting back in their chairs, stuffed. "I don't generally trust people who state those kinds of possibilities. And so long as I know that my son's death or abduction _are_ possibilities, trusting you is out of the question. Get it?"

"Oh." She frowned at the table in thought. "Okay. I give you my word. I will never harm your son in any way. Or you. I'm sorry I said those things. Can we start over?"

It was his turn to frown for a while. A long while. He realized several things about her then, but kept them to himself. "Maybe. Let's see what tomorrow shows."

"What's happening tomorrow?"

"You fight me."

* * *

Icky was placed in a clone's arms and guarded by fifty more while Sasuke ran to the top of a cliff. Sachi followed. When she stopped and faced him, her eyes were shining with excitement.

"If I can manage to kill you here, I'll consider it the first stroke of luck to come my way in a year," he said.

That dimmed her smile a bit. "I won't hold back then. You don't either."

"Was never even a question."

But he started off with _Sharingan_. So did she. He had to give it to her, she was fast. Incredibly fast. And her _katon_ jutsu were some of the most inventive he'd ever seen. Things he knew had to be of her own devising. Not even his brother had shown him some of these. He did go to _Mangekyo_ , and later _Eternal_ _Mangekyo,_ but she was ridiculously strong as well as fast. She dipped expertly, creatively, and had many of his attacks disappearing as well. _Susanoo's_ range was immense, but she was a small target and got around it easily.

That night, when they entered his house for dinner, he gave his report. "Not bad."

She grinned.

-oOo-

The sparring became a daily experience, one he soon craved. Naruto was a good partner, but much weaker now without Kyuubi. Sachi was Uchiha, something he'd never had the privilege of going up against outside of his brother. And his brother was his brother, this girl was an unknown. It gave him intense pleasure to discover what she could and couldn't do, how he fared against surprise attacks, and how her _Sharingan_ compared to his. Slowly but surely, the notion that she was family…no, that she was _blood_ , sank in. Family, he had, in Naruto and their friends. In Ikioi. But this was blood. She was of his blood, and he could feel the connection strengthen as the days stretched to a week. It felt good to fight after the months of helplessness and inactivity. It felt good to vent, to rage, to unleash himself at last, to give voice to everything he'd been through with one attack after another, full strength-

" _Sasuke!"_

He blinked.

Sachi cowered on the ground, held down by _Susanoo._ His sword arm was poised to give the killing blow. She screamed his name again and he hastily released the technique. Watched as she cradled an obviously broken arm. Catalogued the many places she was bleeding.

He went into the house.

-oOo-

She limped in awhile later, by which time he had Icky fed, changed, and put down for the night. He also had the first aid kit and a pot of boiling water ready. He pointed to a chair at the kitchen table. "Sit."

He tended the arm first, setting it and wrapping it tightly before splinting it. "I guess this is the end of sparring," she said quietly.

"Guess so."

She looked up at his face. It was intent on the stitches he was putting into the gash on her cheek. "Do you…want to talk about it?"

"No." He continued stitching, moving from place to place on her. He had to pry her forearm from her side. When he did, he saw that there was a serious laceration just beneath her ribs. Part of her intestine was visible. "You should have let me at this one first," he said.

She managed a weak smile. "You wanted to kill me, right?"

"And you wanted to fight me." He had her lie on the table and moved the lantern close to her wound.

"That wasn't you. It was like you were…gone… _aiii._ " She winced until he'd tucked her intestine back in. Bit her lip at feeling him pinch the wound closed. "You've got a lot of rage in you. Was fun, though."

Sasuke concentrated on his work, but thought about her words. He _had_ been gone. And, now that he was thinking about it, he did have a lot of anger. It was something he was used to feeling, he realized. Something constant, that had gotten him through the months of darkness, Kyuubi, the pregnancy. It was a bright, diamond hard mass lodged in his center that he hadn't even realized was there until this moment.

He missed Naruto.

She sat up. "I didn't kill him," she said. "Just sent him far away. He'll find his way back eventually."

Sasuke frowned at her until he realized he'd spoken aloud. "Maybe it's for the best. I think we needed the space."

She only looked at him. He found himself sitting, staring at her knees where they dangled before his face.

"I fucked up with him," he said slowly. "I really fucked things up. I keep thinking that he'll get over it, forgive me, because that's what he's always done. But he won't. He's changed. I don't know this person he is now. Just know he doesn't forgive. Huh." He studied his hands. They had her blood on them. "Guess I've changed too. I must have. The person I was before all this would never have done the things I've done."

"What have you done?"

He thought of Hinata. Closed his eyes in shame. He loved Naruto. Yet even now he could not regret that night. Those few hours he'd been beside her. As much as it galled him, as much as it _dishonored_ him, he was powerless to deny that those hours he'd been inside her had been inevitable. Maybe all the rage and pain up to that day had led him to that moment of putting his arm around her. He'd felt like glass shattering and promises broken when he'd kissed her, but he'd also felt remade. As if the glass had been reformed and his equilibrium steadied, if not restored. The rape had been done to her, but it had taken something from him too. For a little while when he'd been with her, he felt like he'd taken it back.

Shame was not a familiar thing to him. And he realized now that something in him, some part of him, died that night. Maybe it had been dealt the fatal blow at seeing what Naruto had done to her, but it had certainly died the moment he entered her. He hadn't realized it then, but something else had been born in him. Some seed had taken root in the cavity left by the part of him that died, and it was this around which the diamond hardness formed. This was what had him lying to Naruto, sitting here with Sachi while his man was off maybe fighting for his life. He'd been ignoring it for a long time. Too long. All through the aftermath of the rape, Naruto's return, Icky's birth, Hinata, lusting after Hinata, and now this separation, that thing had grown in him. Now it was big enough for him to see and he didn't recognize himself either.

"Sasuke?"

He looked up at her. "It's late. You should go back to your place."

* * *

Now that he was looking, he was able to see the changes more clearly. For one, the old him would be out looking for Naruto. Or torturing Sachi for his location. The new him coolly acknowledged that Naruto was no longer his lover, and an incredibly resourceful individual. The old him would have tried to kill Sachi as a threat to his son and his reconnection with Naruto. The new him took a step back and analyzed the situation differently.

Besides. He was starting to not hate having her around.

She wasn't soft and sweet like Hinata, or loud and hard like Naruto. She was some mixture of the two. And she was Uchiha. More and more, he was reminded of his clan. Those few years before the slaughter. His brother. His parents. They exchanged _Sharingan_ stories. She spoke of her little brother. Her own parents. He found himself telling her of Itachi. And then, surprisingly, of Naruto. The conception. The pregnancy. And Kyuubi. That…that hurt him to talk about. But he got through it. Realized afterward that he'd needed to. To her credit she didn't comment on his tears. She was at the stove, cooking. Icky was in a baby seat he found in the nursery, staring at Sachi. He stared at her a lot. His son was quieter these days. Not as many smiles. No smiles, now that he thought about it. And that made him frown.

"Going up against someone who can absorb chakra is tricky," she said as she brought the food to the table. "But there are ways to get around it." She was completely healed now, but they no longer sparred. "For starters? If all my jutsu were blocked and nullified every time I went up against this opponent, and if _Taijutsu_ wouldn't have worked because of self-healing, and I couldn't hide because this opponent would sniff me out…I would have done the exact same thing. Survive. That's step one to fighting an invincible opponent. First, survive, then strategize."

"And what strategy would you have used?"

"You can bet your life I would have dipped myself or him, but that's me." She chewed as she tilted her head at the ceiling in thought. "The thing about all-powerful people is that they're never all-powerful. There's always something or someone out there that's their weakness, or stronger than they are. I wouldn't know how to fight someone like that unless I was actually in the fight, to be honest."

"I couldn't come up with a solution at the time, but I later thought to myself something similar. That I would have to find a way."

"You did your best."

"He won't forgive me."

She shrugged. "That's his problem."

"It's been weeks. How far did you send him?"

"South pole."

He stared at her. "You said he wasn't in any danger."

"He wasn't. Put him right outside a research station."

"He should be back by now."

"Maybe he doesn't want to come back."

"He wouldn't leave Icky."

"He tried to kill Icky."

"For which he's sorry."

"Maybe too sorry to continue facing him."

"He still loves me."

She stopped eating. "Sasuke. I know you miss him? But he doesn't want to be with you. You heard him say it himself. How long are you going to grovel at his feet?"

He looked at Icky, who was still staring at Sachi.

"Do you still hate me?" she asked.

"No."

"Trust me?"

"Maybe."

She considered her next words carefully, but felt the time was right. "I think we could be great together. I think we could make outstanding children. I think we're compatible in mind and body. We can be ruthless when we need to be, and we understand each other. You know I'll never betray you, and you know I'm strong. I would never let anyone harm our children. Or you. And if it means anything, I've never been with anyone. What else do you have?" she asked. "You don't have Naruto. You might never have him again. But you can have me. I would raise Icky like my own. You can have a family. A real family." She slowly reached across the table to put her hand on his.

Sasuke, in full knowledge of what she was offering, did not pull his hand away.

Later that day he voluntarily let her hold Icky for the first time.

* * *

Naruto woke to agony, wheezing and shaking like a leaf. "Guh! Huh! Hoaah!" He coughed until he thought he was dying. He wasn't sure he wasn't already dead.

"Easy there. Easy. You're in good hands."

He was helped back down to a reclining position by good hands indeed. Strong, warm hands. Large. He turned toward the voice, absently aware that it sounded neither male nor female, and tried to speak.

"What's that? Didn't catch it. Here, have some water."

The water was metallic. He choked, but then he swallowed greedily. "Oh God."

"Yeah. You've been down for almost three weeks. Didn't think you were going to make it. Naruto, right?"

"How'd you know my name?"

"Asked you while you were thrashing around one time."

"I can't see."

"There are bandages over your eyes."

"What happened to me? Is this the station?"

"This is the Sun Station, belonging to Fire Country and Wind Country. And you nearly died. The weather's been holding steady at one hundred sixteen below zero. What possessed you to come out in the elements with just a fur tunic? How'd you even get here?"

"Was sent here. And I didn't know I was being sent until I'd been sent. Where is here, anyway?"

"South pole, my friend."

He had no idea where or what that was. Then something he'd read in the books about the arctic circle came back to him. He was literally on the opposite side of the globe from Sasuke. _Sachi, you sick, sick bitch. Just wait._ "Who are you?"

"I'm Chou. Think my parents hoped the name would affect me in some way. Make me…different. Back to you. Can you sit up?"

He could.

"Hungry?"

"Starving."

"That's a good sign. Hang on, I'm going to remove the bandages."

Chou had surprisingly gentle hands, given their size. He sat still while the gauze around his head was unwrapped, then slowly opened his eyes as instructed. His vision was too blurry to make out anything beyond vague shapes, but he bowed where he sat and said, "Thank you."

"No problem. You're the first person I've seen in two years."

"The fuck? There's no one else here?"

"Not anymore. We were a dozen, but they've all left now. Couldn't hack it. Me, I like the solitude. Or I did. Seeing you sort of made me miss people a bit. Here."

A bowl of something hot was placed in his hands. The smell of meat and onions hit his nose and he almost spilled the stuff all over himself in trying to get it to his face. Chou's hands steadied him.

"Almost as good as ramen," he whimpered. He was practically crying, it was so good.

Chou laughed. "Are you ninja?"

"Yeah."

"I thought about doing that. I've been told I've got the strength and chakra for it, but I went into medicine instead. Gotta say, your case sorely tested my knowledge. Felt good. Being challenged. Been stagnating down here by myself. I know I've forgotten a lot. And there are probably advances taking place that I know nothing about, but I think I did a good job on your hand, if I do say so myself."

The bowl was empty. While Chou took it from him he flexed and clenched his bad hand. Felt along his fingers and knuckles with his good hand. It was a whitish blob when he held it up to his face. "It feels…fine. How'd you do that?"

"It's not _fine_ fine. 'Bout ninety-five percent. That hands needs plenty of physical therapy. And I told you. I'm a medic. Your chakra's pretty decent too, but I wouldn't advise using it for another week or so. Whoever sealed you did it very clumsily, so while your chakra's present, you can't necessarily access it yet." Another bowl was placed in his hands.

He drank more carefully this time. After, he was encouraged to rest, which he did. He was already tired.

-oOo-

Three days later he could see clearly. His first proper look at Chou had him staring.

Tall. Well over six feet. Short cropped hair, broad face, kind eyes of a peculiar shade. Somewhere between blue and purple with a green starburst in the center. Huge body that walked the line between fat and muscular.

He still couldn't tell if Chou was male or female.

Chou sat still for his perusal. "That bad?"

The smile was beautiful, he noted. And Chou was a girl name. He wanted to ask if Chou was a girl, but had never found himself in a situation where he'd needed to. It felt strange. Rude. But he had to know. "Are you a guy or a girl?"

Chou's laugh boomed around the room that he could now see was fairly small. He winced.

"Tell you a secret? I don't know. I've got girl parts, but I've never really felt like a girl."

"Oh?" This was the strangest conversation he'd ever had. "What, uh…do you feel like?"

"A guy. I guess." Chou shrugged. "I don't think about it much. I'm just me. People tend to refer to me as male unless they really know me, and I just let them."

"I see. Do you want me to refer to you as male?"

"However you want."

Naruto considered it. He felt like he was sitting in the presence of a guy the longer he looked at Chou. On the other hand, girl parts meant a girl. Trying to be discreet, he checked for breasts. Couldn't see any. The whole body was lumpy with meat and muscle and Chou was wearing a sweatshirt. _Looks like a guy. Sounds like one, now that I can see the face. Said he feels like a guy. I'ma just go with that._ "Male it is. Look." He held out his hand and formed _Rasengan_.

"Neat! Looks like your chakra's back up. Lemme check and make sure."

He was gently pushed to his back and left to stare at the naked bulb in the ceiling while Chou coated his hands with his own chakra. The examination was thorough. He felt his limbs moved, turned himself or twisted as instructed, and held still while his pathways were scrutinized.

"Right as rain," Chou said.

"Which means I can leave, right?"

Chou nodded, but Naruto saw the way his demeanor changed.

Naruto slid off the bed and clapped him on his back. "So how soon can you be ready?"

"You mean it? I can come with you?" That brilliant smile again.

"No way I'm leaving you down here. Unless you got something important to do, you're coming with. You can be my first villager. As _Hirukage_ , I need to protect you."

"Research ended years ago. I'm just hear to basically keep the station open. What's the name of your village?"

"Hakumeigakure. You in? I can send a toad to Gaara and let him know this place is closing."

"If you're sure, then yes. I'm in."

* * *

"So you're saying we can get from here to the north pole in seconds?" Chou wanted to know later.

"Yup. All I have to do is Summon a toad."

Chou rubbed his chin. "I mean, I knew the ninja arts were cool, but that sounds crazy. You're sure it'll work?"

"Done it a million times. And I need to get back to my family. Like, right now. This bitch is up there hanging around my man and my kid, and I-"

"Sasuke. Icky. Yeah, you talked about them in your sleep. A lot."

"Right. Well that bitch is with them and God only knows what she's doing to them."

"Is Sasuke weak?"

That gave Naruto pause. "No. Least…I don't…I mean, he's not really…"

Chou waited.

Naruto sat on one of the rickety chairs and studied his hands. "He's different. I _know_ he's strong? But he hasn't been showing it. Not for a long time. I don't know what's wrong with him. It's like something in him that's supposed to be there, just isn't there anymore. He doesn't look at me the same, doesn't feel the same when I'm around him. And…I think there's someone else. I mean, I know there is, but he swears it's not serious. But it feels like it is. It feels like I've lost him. Sasuke used to be so focused on me that I could feel it no matter where he was in the village. Now, I could be sitting in the same room with him and it's like I'm not even there. Even when he's staring at me. I don't think he realizes it. That something in him is missing. It's like living with someone who doesn't have legs. And it's more than me and him being broken up. He swears he wants me back, _needs_ me back, but I just don't feel it."

"Wow. Sounds complicated."

"Right? And don't even get me started on _my_ shit. I fucked up big time. But it wasn't really my fault. Still…the worst part, the thing that's eating me alive, _is_ my fault. I hurt my kid. And the whole time he's saying he wants me back, he loves me, etcetera, I'm thinking why? What are you seeing? Because I'm not the person you loved. The village is at war because of me, the _Hokage's_ gone, we're living as exiles…all this shit that happened is because of me. I'm worthless. I raped my best friend, got her pregnant, and now I hate her on top of it. But I don't. Not really. I hate myself. I hate that Sasuke loves her, that they shared something while I was gone. I'm jealous as _fuck_. You don't understand how fucking jealous I am, man, like I really want to kill her. Not really. But _fuck_. So yeah, I don't get what he sees in me right now, and I can't see much of the old him either. Everything is so fucked up."

"Sounds like something's missing from you too."

"I know. It is."

"But you're running back to them."

"Yeah."

"Maybe what you're missing is them. You love them."

"Yeah. 'Specially Icky, man. That kid is special. Feel like…feel like…oh _fuck!"_

Chou frowned uncomfortably at the way Naruto burst into tears.

"I feel like he's me, how I used to be. So hopeful and shit," Naruto sobbed. "Forgiving. No, he's better than I ever was. I feel like… When I hold him, I feel good. Like I can make it, I can be okay again. _Hooh_. Whew. Wow, okay I'm going to say something I never thought I'd say in a million years, but…it was worth it. The hell I went through while I was pregnant? He's worth it." He scrubbed his face. "And Sasuke stood by me the best he could. He's not invincible, but then neither was I. We messed up. But I still love him, and I love my kid, so hells _yes_ I am running back. Sachi. That bitch is _done_ fucking us up."

Chou stood up. "How big is this toad?"

"Huge. Bigger than this station."

"So we'll need to be outside, then. Means gear. Be right back."

While he disappeared to the back, Naruto swiped a forearm across his eyes. _Icky. Sasuke. I'm coming. Hang on._

* * *

Sachi laughed as she threw him up in the air, but he didn't laugh. He watched her. Watched her eyes, the way they didn't soften when she laughed they way his daddies' eyes did. No, hers skipped between him and Daddy Sasuke, but they never laughed with the rest of her face.

He looked over at Daddy Sasuke now. He was sitting, looking at them, a small smile on his face. Hands laced over his stomach. He let this Sachi person touch him, so he didn't make noise about it, but he remembered. He remembered sensing her downstairs, and the way she'd done something to his Daddy Naruto. Sent him far. He could sense him, but he didn't think he could get to him. That thing he did when Daddy Naruto dropped him off the roof was hard. He didn't know how to do it when he wanted.

There were a lot of things he didn't understand. He could understand words. More often he understood the notwords, the feels behind the words. Thoughts. He understood thoughts. He understood the inside. His inside was sad right now. His Daddy Sasuke's inside wasn't. It was…something he didn't know. Not mad, not scared, not sad, not happy. Those were the only feels he knew. It wasn't good, either. That was another feel he understood. He thought maybe it was a bad feel, but he always thought of bad as the feel his Daddy Naruto had before he'd seen him with his face. After they'd seen each other with faces, his Daddy Naruto had very bad feels for a while too. But then they'd seen each other with their insides, and his Daddy Naruto had started to feel good.

But this, the feel his Daddy Sasuke had now, wasn't really like that. He didn't know what it was, but he didn't like it.

And he didn't like Sachi. Her feels were different too. Around his Daddy Sasuke they were happy, but around him they weren't. Nor where they any feels he knew of. Whenever she looked at him he felt the way he did when that thing had ouched the feeder. That thing that almost ouched him. He felt scared. The same way he did whenever his Daddy Naruto called those things he said were toads or his other daddy called snakes and hawks.

Especially when her eyes changed. He felt a lot of scared then.

Daddy Sasuke never saw it. She always did it when her body blocked his face from seeing what she did, but _he_ saw. And he knew she was trying to see his inside. Stuff his daddies called powers. He didn't let her.

This was something else he didn't understand. Powers. He saw what his daddies could do, and understood when they asked him to do it. He just couldn't do it. When they asked to see, he didn't show them because he didn't know how. But when Sachi tried to see, he knew she'd be able to whether he showed her or not and his Daddy Naruto didn't want that happening. He didn't know why. But he thought Daddy Naruto was right. So when she tried to see, he blocked her.

Sometimes she would sit, talk at him with his Daddy Sasuke, and all the while he could feel her trying to probe his mind. He didn't let her. Once, for just a second, when his daddy's eyes were on him instead of her, her eyes changed to something he'd never seen them do. The probe was very strong, more than he could resist. For that one second he couldn't breathe. Then Daddy Sasuke looked at her and her eyes were normal again.

So he watched her. Waiting for her eyes to change, resisting that probe, that hungry, bad, mad _need_ to know his inside.

He wanted his Daddy Naruto. He really, really wanted him back. Daddy Sasuke used to have sad feels but now he was different. Now it was all/nothing feels. And that scared him too.

He didn't understand other stuff. Touch stuff. He liked touch. His daddies liked touching him. And he could see with his inside that they wanted to do touch on each other, but they didn't. Daddy Sasuke touched Sachi, though. A lot. And she touched him. Sometimes, after he was put down in is bed to sleep and clones were left to watch him, he could feel his daddy go to Sachi's house and do more touch with her. Why, he didn't know. His daddy didn't even love Sachi. Love, he understood. From his Daddy Naruto. From both his daddies. And touch meant love, he knew that too. His daddies touched him tight when their love feels were hard and strong, and he always felt like laughing when his own love feels were strong. But this wasn't love, what his Daddy Sasuke felt, so why did he touch her? He didn't like it. Touching made Sachi happy, and when she was hard happy, she probed more.

He wanted to know when Daddy Naruto was coming back. He was learning the names for the passage of time —hour, minute, second—but day and week were incomprehensible; he could find nothing to measure them with. He maybe remembered when it wasn't light all the time, but now it was, and night and day didn't mean what he thought Daddy Sasuke thought they meant. He said night when he was put to sleep, and morning when he woke up but the light didn't change so he didn't know those words.

-oOo-

Sachi kissed him and touched him when she was done throwing him, and then kissed and touched Daddy Sasuke. She sat under his arm, and he sat on his daddy's lap. "We're a family," Sachi said.

He looked up. Daddy Sasuke was smiling at her. But his eyes weren't smiling. "You never did tell me what the council's plans were."

"Didn't I? Well, they want this sweet baby here. Apparently they think he has some terrifying power. Does he?" She poked at his stomach, eyes sharp as ever. He put his face on his daddy's chest and waited for her to stop.

His daddy put an arm around him. "He's just a baby."

"Oh? You never said how Naruto was raised from the dead."

"No, I didn't."

And then the hand his daddy had around him moved. Closed, with two fingers pointing toward Sachi. Lightning went from those fingers to Sachi, and Sachi said "Uh!"

Funny lightning. It didn't just go and leave, like his did. It stayed. Connecting his daddy's hand to Sachi's chest. There was stuff, her inside, pouring out around the lightning. Sizzling and snapping off of it. It made a smell. Then he realized his daddy was ouching her and that gave him good, happy feels.

A clone appeared and picked him up from his daddy's lap. His daddy scooted closer to Sachi, cradled her head, and leaned down to whisper in her ear. He heard.

"You and I will never be a family. Least of all with my son. I did what I had to do to get close to you, to have you believe I trusted you." He swelled the lightning bar until her ribs and spine audibly snapped, and the life started to go out of her eyes. "I liked you. You're family. My blood. But this was always the endgame. No one touches my man and lives. No one threatens my son and lives. And no one threatens _me_ and lives." He yanked the lightning free.

There was a loud _boom_ outside. A second later, he heard his Daddy Naruto screaming for them. He screamed in response, twisting in the clone's arms. Daddy Naruto burst through the door, followed by some person he didn't know, and he reached for him. Reached for his daddy. Daddy Naruto looked at him, smiled…then saw Daddy Sasuke and Sachi.

* * *

Naruto took in the scene. Sachi lay gasping, a large hole in her chest. The smell of ozone and burned flesh was strong. He recognized Sasuke's handiwork. Looked up at Sasuke. Chou started to go around him, possibly to help Sachi, but Naruto held up an arm to keep him back.

Sasuke stared at Sachi. _Chidori_ was suddenly in his hand. He shoved this toward her, but Sachi shimmered where she lay. She was gone before Sasuke's hand slammed into the floor. "Fuck!" he yelled.

Naruto went to him. Glanced at the hole in the floor, the blood, but turned and put both hands on Sasuke's face to focus him. "Dude. What happened?"

Sasuke blinked. His eyes roamed greedily over Naruto's face. Then he was hugging him hard. "You're alive. You're _here_."

"Of course I'm here. Sasuke, what happened?" He pulled out of his arms.

"What do you mean?" He now saw the giant standing behind Naruto and stared up at him. "I tried to kill the bitch."

"I can see that. But I've been gone for weeks. Why'd it take you so long to do it?"

Sasuke continued to blink up at the newcomer. It was a minute before he brought his eyes down to Naruto. Another minute before he processed the question. He looked at Icky. The clone. The giant. Naruto. "We need to talk."

-oOo-

Sasuke was introduced to Chou and told he was the villlage's first citizen outside of themselves. The hand that shook Sasuke's dwarfed his own, he noted. Then he narrowed his eyes at Chou. "You've got insane chakra…like, really." He studied the dark red hair, the odd eyes. "What village are you from?"

"None. My parents were nomads. Medics traveling from village to village."

"Huh. Well, this is Ikioi. Naruto? You mind?"

Naruto was busy staring at Sasuke, realizing he wanted to touch him. He had to bring his mind back to the present. "Huh?" Sasuke tipped his head at Icky, looked up at Chou. "Oh. No, it's cool, he can hold him." He took the boy from Sasuke, then just held his son himself. He hadn't seen him in forever. The kid had grown. He hugged him tight, planted a hard kiss in his hair. "God, I _missed_ you."

To his surprise, Icky hugged him back around his neck. He'd never done that before. Naruto kept his face in Icky's hair a few minutes, until he was sure his eyes were dry, and Icky strangled him the entire time. Naruto didn't want to let go. But he did. He sat his son in the crook of one arm and pointed upwards. "That's Chou. He saved my life." And he handed the boy up to him.

Chou handled him like a pro. Icky squealed a greeting and Chou smiled back, showing his large white teeth. "Healthy little man you got here." He handed him back to Naruto. "Bout six months?"

Sasuke nodded. Naruto said, "You can wait down here. Help yourself to food, or choose one of the houses for yourself, but I need to talk to Sasuke."

* * *

Chou disappeared to the kitchen, while Sasuke led the way upstairs. When they were in his room, Naruto shut the door and leaned on it. "Okay, spill. Something happened, and something tells me I'm not going to like it. Did she hurt Icky?"

"No. I made sure of that."

"Did she hurt you?"

"No. But she could have. She threatened to kill us both, or separate us."

Naruto felt his blood begin to boil as Sasuke told the tale from start to finish. He tried to decide what Sasuke's flat tone meant, but at hearing that he'd considered really being with Sachi he held up a hand. "You're serious? After everything, you're telling me now that you _can_ see yourself with her?"

"Not like I have anything else, right? My brother's gone. I gave up vengeance to be with you. Somewhere along the line I convinced myself the Uchiha didn't need to be resurrected. But they're already here. I'm here, Sachi's family is here. Icky's Uzumaki, but he's also part Uchiha. I wouldn't be resurrecting anything. I just want a family. That's all I want. All I've ever wanted, I think. I had you. But now I don't. You want nothing to do with me. I have Icky, but if you and I aren't together, I'll never completely have him. So yes, I thought about it. Briefly."

"What changed?"

"Nothing. That was the problem. Thinking about a family with her didn't make me happy. Nothing I did with her made me happy. I feel just as empty as I've felt since…for a long time. And I'd already decided from the moment she sent you away that she was dead." He shrugged. "I played a game, was all. A ruse. It was an act."

"And how far did you take that act?"

"Far enough."

"How far."

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. "Far."

Naruto swallowed. " _That_ far?"

A nod and a sigh.

Naruto slid to the floor. Icky stared up at him, eyes large and round, as if he could feel his pain. "Whoa. Damn. Okay. I guess…that's the truth, then. Thank you for that. Why, though? Couldn't you have gotten her trust without doing that?"

"I'm not sure I had her trust even then. She was planning something, Naruto. What, I don't know. Icky was never comfortable around her. I could see it. I could feel her digging at him whenever she thought I was unaware. I am _never_ unaware of my son. I could never get the drop on her, not even when she slept. I tried. And there's something else, something she probably didn't think I knew about."

"What?"

"A few times, when she'd retired to her house, I felt a presence in there with her. There and gone. She's communicating with someone. That's another reason I took to going to her house at night. Or whatever passes for night now. As long as I was there, she couldn't talk to whoever she was in contact with."

Naruto felt his hatred and jealousy flatten beneath his sudden dread. " _Fuck_ , man…you think we're blown?"

"I think someone besides Hinata, Tsunade, and now Sachi knows we're here, yes."

He stared at Sasuke. Lined things up and put them into perspective. Prioritized. "It's okay. Okay?" He pushed to his feet and hastily put Icky on the bed. Turned and went back to Sasuke. Hesitated. Put his hands on Sasuke's shoulders. "You did what you had to do to protect us. This, I can forgive. I can live with this. She was a threat, you were on your own, and she'd threatened our son. If she'd taken him we would never have seen him again, so you…you did the right thing. Okay?"

Sasuke's eyes filled. His face got very red.

He had to know. One way or another, he had to know. "She was the only one? The only time you've…you know?"

" _Yes_."

"You and Hinata-"

"No."

"Okay." Naruto felt his throat closing up and brought their foreheads together. "Don't get me wrong, it still hurts. God, I wish I could have gotten a piece of her. But I know it had to suck for you too. Scared every second she would make off with Icky. Never knowing when or if she'd carry out her threats. Sounds like she was crazy."

"I wouldn't say that. But highly unstable. She really believed her apology afterward made her threats okay." He touched one of Naruto's hands where it now cupped his cheek.

"Fucking bitch. She's lucky you offed her before I got here." Naruto rubbed his nose along Sasuke's.

"Tried to. She left. Means she's still alive." He put his hand on Naruto's shoulder. Moved it to the back of his neck. He was starting to sweat.

"That wound was fatal. She's dead. I'm calling it here and now." The need to kiss him was strong. His fingers tightened on Sasuke's face, the nails dimpling his skin. Sasuke hissed. Snaked an arm around him and pulled him close. Squeezed him.

They hovered like that for almost a minute, mouths nearly touching. But then Naruto remembered everything else between them and stepped back. Sasuke let him. They stood looking at each other, hurting, until Naruto cleared his throat. "I'm gonna check on Chou. Make sure he's settled in. 'Night."

He quietly left the room and shut the door. Stood outside the door a moment. He felt better. Sasuke was still his. Tomorrow, he decided, they'd have another talk, get their lives back on track. Enough of this shit.

-oOo-

Chou sheepishly told him that he didn't want to be alone. "Been alone for two years. If it's all the same to you, I'll take the floor right here. Temperature's so warm up here I don't even need a blanket."

Naruto snorted at that, but left him in the main room and went to his own. He stood looking at his bed for several minutes. Considered going back to Sasuke's room and fucking him. God, he wanted to.

He climbed into bed and went to sleep.

* * *

 _He was dreaming about the village. Running around with Konohamaru and Udon. Kiba. Chouji and Shikamaru. Sparring with Lee. Running from Sakura. Sneaking into the porn shop. Around every corner, no matter where he went, he saw Hinata. Not as she'd been as a child, but older. Not as she'd been here either. Different. More serene, if that were possible. Emanating light. It was creepy. Almost like she was following him, the way the sun or the moon followed you no matter how hard you ran. And he was definitely running now. The village was gone. He was in a flat landscape, shrouded in night, and there she was behind him, bright as the sun, following him like the moon, awful in her serenity, terrifying in her peace._

" _Naruto."_

 _And he was standing before her. Shivering in fear of her, though all he felt was love and sorrow coming from her. He was afraid. He was afraid and he didn't know why._

" _Hinata?"_

" _I don't have much time. I wanted to say goodbye."_

 _His fear tripled. "Goodbye? Wait!" She was wavering before his eyes, fading in and out. Faintly, very faintly, he got an impression from her. Violence. Screams. Something was happening wherever she was. "Hinata, where are you?"_

" _Take care of him, Naruto."_

" _What? Who?"_

" _I'm sending him to you. I did my best. But now he's coming to you. You_ are _his father. You were right. I should have stayed."_

 _The fear was now so acute that he couldn't breathe. Couldn't breathe. "No…"_

 _She looked behind her at something. Looked at him. She was fading…_

" _Hinata!"_

 _Fading…_

" _Please! I'm sorry! I never got to tell you how sorry I am!" He was still choking, but he screamed those words, yelled them though the image of her was almost gone._

 _Then suddenly she was there again, at his face, placing her hands to either side of his streaming eyes._

 _His mind exploded with her memories. All her memories, her hopes, her dreams, her fears, her love. How she'd loved him. The baby. Most of all, him. Their son. "Oh God…"_

" _You have to help him," she said. "You're the only one who can."_

" _I can't. I can't do anything."_

 _She looked deep into his eyes, still holding his face. Kissed his tears. His nose. His eyes. His forehead. "You're Uzumaki Naruto. You can do anything. I know you can. I know you."_

" _Please," he begged. "Please, don't go. I'm so sorry. I do want your forgiveness. I never meant for this to happen. Please!"_

" _Sh. There's nothing to forgive and I don't have time. Listen to me."_

 _He looked at her._

" _It'll hurt you when you see. A lot. But don't let it break you. You_ cannot _break. Promise me you won't break."_

He had no idea what she was talking about. _"I promise."_ He would promise her anything.

" _I'm okay. I need you to remember that I'm okay. I felt no pain."_

" _Hinata,_ please _-"_

" _Save him. Help him. Just please don't let how he is now be the only thing I leave behind. Okay?"_

" _Okay."_

" _I love you, Naruto."_

 _She was gone. The sky was empty and he still couldn't breathe._

* * *

Hiashi was sharpening weapons with Neji when he grabbed his chest and cried out.

"Uncle?" Neji dropped his kunai and rushed to his aid.

"My daughter," Hiashi slurred. " _My child._ "

Neji yelled for help.

* * *

"Hinata!" Sakura woke with the name on her lips, her mind buzzing with data.

Kiba ducked his head inside the tent. "Sakura? You yelled just now, is everything all-"

"Get everyone in here, _now!_ "

Kiba left and came back with her advisors and the original team. "I know where they are," she said. She was in the process of strapping on her weapon's pouch. "I have the precise coordinates thanks to…" she frowned. Looked at Hiashi, who was haggard and stoop shouldered and supported by Neji. Understanding erupted in her mind and she found herself sitting down hard. Kiba ran to her.

"Oh God, no. _No_." She pushed the heels of her hands into her eyes.

-oOo-

It was Tenten who got the facts from her. The dream. The coordinates. Hinata. They were all silent as Sakura sobbed on Kiba's shoulder and Tenten rubbed her back. "I think she's…gone." Sakura pulled herself together with a supreme effort. "I think that was her soul trying to help us. But…" She broke down again.

Tsume was gruff, but stepped forward. "Kiba, rally the clan. Hyuuga, my condolences for your loss. Truly. But get your people together. Yamanaka, have you found that traitor yet?"

"No." But he was staring at Konohamaru. The boy didn't hang around the rookies often anymore, so he'd missed delving him. He did so now, and what he saw put the hairs up on the back of his neck. He glanced around the tent. His eyes landed on Shino. He sent him a thought, to which Shino first pushed his glasses up, then slipped out of the tent.

He came back a short time later with a teenage girl whom he threw down in front of Sakura. Sakura glanced from her to Shino.

Konohamaru frowned. "Hey, that's-"

"That's your spy," Inoichi said "She has some rudimentary ability with mind control, though I can detect no _Doujutsu_ in her. And she most certainly isn't Yamanaka."

Sakura slowly got to her feet. The girl cowered on the floor, face in her hands. "How do you know this?" Sakura breathed.

"Konohamaru. He's been intimate with her. I looked into his mind just now and saw that this girl left an impression of herself. I can't say I've ever seen anything quite like it; this part of her she's left in him is able to see and hear things that he does but it's as yet immature. How clearly she sees and hears, I don't know."

Konohamaru squawked. Sakura ignored him. "So he was being used without his knowledge?"

"Most likely." Inoichi grimaced. "He did spill a few things while his mind was clouded with…their activities." He coughed into one fist. "She played him skillfully. I can't say he's really at fault-"

Sakura lifted a hand and Inoichi fell silent. All eyes went to Konohamaru, who was beet red with shame, then to the girl, who was motionless in fear.

"Has she learned what's taken place here tonight?" Kakashi asked.

Inoichi closed his eyes. "I'm afraid so. More, she's already communicated that information to her contacts in Konoha. They know where Sasuke is."

Before anyone could stop him, Konohamaru stepped forward, pulled a kunai, and rammed it hilt-deep into Fumiko's throat. He swiped it viciously to his left, thus severing her carotid, esophagus, spine, and most of her neck tissue. Her head flopped backward, where the weight of it did the job of tearing the piece of skin still holding it to her body. The head fell behind her, at Sakura's feet. The body pitched forward. Konohamaru spat on it, kicked it aside, then prostrated himself where it had been, right in front of Sakura.

Sakura looked away. She couldn't deal with this now. Stepping around him, she addressed her friends and advisors. "Like Tsume said. Gather everyone and move out. Going by where we are versus the data I've been given, it'll take us several weeks of hard traveling to get to our friend. If the villages know where we've been this whole time, they're probably only far enough away to escape detection by Hyuuga or hound. We all know where our friend is. Now it's just a matter of who gets to him first. I mean for that to be us."

The tent was emptied of everyone save Konohamaru, who remained where he was, crying.

* * *

Naruto woke still choking, still trying to say her name, but he knew. It was what had him so terrified, what had frozen him solid, what left him unable to breathe even now. Her memories churned in his mind and he rolled from his bed, vomiting forcefully. Only then was he able to suck in a proper breath. He let it out again in a scream. _"SASUKE!"_

At the same moment there was a crash downstairs. He was running for those stairs when Chou hollered for him loud enough to make his ears throb. Sasuke was right behind him, Icky in his arms.

-oOo-

There, in the main room, Chou was backed up to the wall, hands in front of him. "It came out of nowhere," he yelled. "Just _poof_ out of thin air! Like your toad!"

Something low down on the floor made odd scrabbling sounds. Naruto couldn't see at first. The couch was in the way.

He didn't want to see what was behind the couch. Those memories…

But Chou had a look of abject horror on his face. Sasuke got around him. Got to the couch first and looked down. Naruto saw him frown. Then his face cleared. Slackened, filled with horror too.

That scrabbling. _Scritch, scritch, scritch._

He made himself move. Put a hand out to the couch. Grabbed it. Squeezed the arm as he continued around it, but he was looking at Chou, who had both hands pressed over his mouth. At Sasuke, who had his face buried in Icky's neck. At Icky, who stared downward intently, a tiny frown between his brows. He'd never seen that look on his son's face before.

 _Scritch, scritch, scritch._

He was scared all over again. Staring at the wall now. Heart hammering so hard he was shaking with it. He squeezed the couch, squeezed, squeezed, squeezed, until he felt the material tear in his fist.

 _'You have to help him.'_

He was sweating, he realized. But he looked down. Slowly.

It was just a pile of filthy clothes. No baby anywhere.

He started to smile in relief, but the clothes moved. He realized there was someone wearing the clothes. Then he saw the condition the body was in. Broken bones poking through skin in many places. Limbs at odd angles. The head was a sight he needed several seconds to process. His mind simply couldn't, at first, make sense of the jellied mess of brain and bone he was looking at. He wondered how this person could be alive, but then he saw the hair. Long and dark and utterly familiar.

 _No_.

Matted with blood and gore. The jaw was twisted almost completely around, and the eyes were gone, but he knew. It was Hinata.

 _Scritch, scritch, scritch._

The body twitched. Jerked. Flopped onto its back. And now he was able to see the mound its previous position had hidden rising like a mountain from the ruin of his long-time friend. The sound came from within. All the broken bones rubbing together. Her stomach writhed and warped as the child he'd put in her struggled.

Naruto stared for a long time. Stared, but saw only Hinata's memories. Her life. Her love for him, her devotion. Her family. Her friends. And this child. The months she'd been gone, the things it had done to her. Made her do. He saw the way she'd fought in the end, and then her end, and that…that was the moment his mind went white. He saw nothing after that. He heard Sasuke calling his name, but it faded with each repetition until there was silence.

Nothing but deep silence in the safe white space of his mind.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Picture of Icky and his brother up on my Deviantart account.

* * *

Chapter 6

" _What's wrong with him?"_

" _Shock. Possible psychotic break. Not sure. My expertise lies in surgery. Trauma. But his vitals are dangerously low."_

" _How's that possible?"_

" _Depending on the person, some levels of stress can be fatal. Never seen anybody go berserk like that. Almost didn't get to him in time. Good you sent the baby upstairs with a clone."_

" _Is he going to be okay?"_

" _No doubt. I've got him. He's not going anywhere. Even starting to come around, see? Naruto? Can you hear me?"_

" _Good. What about…her?"_

" _She's dead. Knew it the second she arrived. I can see it. Feel it. There's no life in her."_

" _But she's still moving."_

" _Oh the heart is beating, and the lungs are expanding, but she's not breathing. Her body's only circulating enough blood to keep the thing in her alive. And_ that _thing is changing."_

" _What? How?"_

" _I think it's a baby-"_

" _It is."_

" _Then it's not like any baby I've ever delivered. It's a bit premature, but it's speeding up its development as we speak. Maturing its lungs."_

" _What the fuck?"_

" _See how still the body is now? That baby is conserving energy. Preparing to be born. What do you want to do?"_

" _About what?"_

" _That baby! Do you want me to deliver it? It's much too large to be born vaginally, besides which the body housing it is dead. Yes or no?"_

* * *

There was no answer. Naruto regretted the loss of silence in his white space. If he could hear, then images and memory were sure to follow, and he couldn't take that. He couldn't leave this space and face what he'd done to Hinata. His Hinata, who'd loved him nearly all of her life, who'd only ever helped him, and whom he'd only ever hurt. This, though. The rape was bad enough. But the kid that rape had put in her, and what that kid had done to her… All that could be laid at his door. He'd killed her. She'd gotten away and she still hadn't been safe. _She was dead_ because of him.

' _Promise me you won't break.'_

He'd promised. He didn't think he was going to be able to keep it, though. Yet how could he fail her? The only thing she'd ever asked of him? Her dying wish, her trust and faith? Was he really going to turn his back on her because of something so selfish as how he felt? He'd known this shit would walk back into his life. He just hadn't known it would be this bad.

He couldn't take anymore. No more.

' _You cannot break. I'm okay. I felt no pain.'_

The strain was enormous. Because he _was_ breaking. Coming apart. But he pushed the pieces together and held them in place. She needed him. And now, finally, he could help her. He could make up for what he'd done. Maybe. Probably not. He would carry this, what he'd done to her, for the rest of his days.

 _I'm living in hell,_ he thought. _And it will never end. Never. Never, ever, ever._

* * *

Naruto opened his eyes.

He didn't move at first. Wasn't sure he could. Such was the strain of holding it together that even breathing was difficult. He could actually feel something happening in his body. His chakra trying to leap out of him. His mind laboring under the stress of grief, the unimaginable weight of his guilt. Only by shrinking his focus down to a single point was he able to move from one moment to the next. There was a nick in one of the ceiling beams. He stared at that. Concentrated on it. The shape. The depth. When he was sure that it was safe to do so, he took a slow deep breath.

It hurt. Intensely.

Breathing nudged the things he was trying to keep still. The pain and guilt. He had to keep those things locked down if he was going to make it. He tried again. Another careful breath.

' _I felt no pain.'_

He grit his teeth as his control slipped several notches. Spent time patiently bringing it back. Smoothed things down. Tamped them down as firmly as possible. Concentrated on the nick. Breathed. All he had to do was keep everything just like this.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

He thought maybe he could function. Sort of. No. No, he couldn't. He couldn't move, couldn't think, was _barely_ breathing. He wondered if he could just stay like this. Just finally stop. Just let go, maybe follow Hinata. Be with his mom and dad.

Except he couldn't face them with all these failures on his plate. Especially not Hinata.

So, then, what was he supposed to do? Either he stayed or he went, lived or died.

* * *

" _Why's he just lying there? He opened his eyes over an hour ago. Are his vitals still-"_

" _No. Don't get me wrong, I'm actively holding them in place, which means if I let go he'll probably let himself die. But I'm not letting him go. Try talking to him."_

 _Shuffling sounds. "Naruto? Blink if you can hear me. Naruto? He's not blinking."_

" _And his pulse hasn't changed. Maybe he_ can't _hear you."_

" _Naruto!"_

* * *

So he couldn't leave, thanks to Chou. Unless…

Experimentally, he located Chou's chakra where it was laced with his own, and tried to resist it. Was like trying to part stone with his bare hands.

Staying it was, then. Now how to go about doing that? How could he stay with such insurmountable shame and guilt?

* * *

" _I think it's best if we put him up here in his room. Bed looks comfy. Just pull back his blanket there. Good. Okay. Well, the good news is he's no longer actively fighting me. His resistance was strong for a minute there, but he's calmed down. Means somewhere in there he's aware."_

" _My kid. Icky. He can help Naruto. I'll go get him."_

" _No. Nothing's physically wrong with him. This is psychological. Emotional. What you can do, after checking on the little man, is go downstairs and tell me what's going on with that baby."_

" _Right."_

" _And Sasuke?"_

" _What."_

" _Don't touch the body."_

* * *

In the past, when some ridiculously difficult move was standing in the way of his progress as a ninja, he would attack that move. Day and night. He would face it. Pick it apart. Practice. Attack, attack, attack until he won. Until he mastered the move and was able to continue his progress. And he realized now, looking at his past, that even though he'd been lacking in family, friends, and even technique, he'd gotten as far as he had through determination. Later, he'd had friends and family both, but it was his determination that had won him those.

That was who he was. The person he recognized.

Uzumaki Naruto wasn't a _Jinchuuriki_. Or a hero. Not someone who was a good friend or a good boyfriend. All of that was after. First and foremost, he was someone who never gave up. Never. So he couldn't give up now, despite the fact that he'd done just that. Somewhere during the pregnancy and birth he'd given up.

No. Not somewhere. When he'd stabbed Icky. That right there was the moment he'd given up. Then coming back to discover Sasuke and Hinata, he'd just kept giving up. And now, faced with Hinata's death, he was giving up so completely that he was dying. This was it. The thing he'd lost. The essence of who he was, the backbone of life and living.

Determination. Guts. Resolve. Purpose.

He'd lost his purpose. Without purpose there could be no determination. You needed determination to fulfill a purpose.

What had his purpose been? To be _Hokage_. What was his purpose now? The same thing, he decided. Not to be _Hokage_ , but to be what _Kage_ meant. Someone strong enough to protect his friends, his village. Well, Hakumeigakure was his village now. And in order to protect his friends, he would need to be strong. Determined. He had a purpose. Protect his family, protect his friends. Protect his village. He just needed to find his determination.

 _That_ was the core of his strength.

* * *

" _Chou, it's been hours. If he was going to get up, he would have by now. His eyes aren't even open anymore. Here. Brought you some food."_

" _Don't give up on him so easily. Thanks." Chewing. "I'm no longer actively anchoring him, so that's good. I prefer to be where I can see him, though. Plus, that baby downstairs scares me. What's it doing?"_

" _Still maturing. I tried to kill it-"_

" _WHAT!"_

" _What, you think Hinata got like that on her own? Or from some enemy? That kid can heal her from anything. I've seen it. If something powerful enough to override that healing attacked Hinata, it would have killed them both. Those injuries are severe enough to have compromised her heart and lungs several times over, yet they're the only organs still intact. That kid killed her. I know it. Then it took over the only organs that would ensure it kept living."_

" _That's Naruto's kid, though. What right do you have to kill it?"_

" _What right does it have to live?"_

" _Uh, the right of all people? He's going to be born soon. A fetus needs far more than a beating heart and oxygen to survive in utero. I'm going to deliver it. Naruto's going to get better. And then he can decide what happens next."_

" _You don't have a right to judge me."_

" _Naruto's my_ Kage _. This is my village now. I'm loyal to it and him. That means protecting his interests when he can't protect them himself."_

" _Is that right. You can't stop me, insane chakra or not. I will find a way to kill that kid. He's a danger to all of us."_

* * *

He'd known it for some time now, but the thing standing in the way of his progress was Hinata. The rape. Her death. _How_ she'd died. Why she'd died. Even so, it was awhile still before he could make himself acknowledge it. It was going to hurt. But if he was going to get past this to the other side he was going to have to go through it. Face it. Pick it apart.

 _My purpose is my family, my friends, and my village. My family, my friends, and my village._

When Hinata had given him her memories in the dream, he'd gotten an overall gist. Then, when he'd seen her body, the memories had sharpened. He'd gotten a glimpse of her final hour and hastily disconnected himself. Brought himself here, to this white room in his mind. To willingly put himself in those memories and relive them from her point of view would be the hardest thing he'd ever done-

 _My family, my friends, and my village._

-but he could do it. He would have to. Because unless he faced his shame and guilt, they would finish him. And he wasn't finished. Not by a long shot, he decided. This was bad. The worst he'd ever faced, the lowest he'd ever been…but there was worse out there in the world. He needed to be ready. For his family, friends, and village, he needed to be ready. _Kage_ needed to be strong. Fathers needed to be strong. He needed to be strong. He was strong.

Cautiously, moving carefully, but with no hesitation, he opened the door to the white room and let the memories in.

* * *

" _Okay, It's been twenty-four hours. You're stable. I feel confident leaving you alone. You're going to make it. I can feel it. I can feel you trying to come back, so I'm going to leave your side and trust that you won't leave us. I need to go downstairs and see just what Sasuke is up to. Between you and me, he's scary. You didn't tell me your boyfriend, or your ex, sorry, was so scary. Made it sound like he was a regular guy. Good dad. But I feel him down there doing things with his chakra. And I can feel that baby getting stronger, even from all the way up here. I think the baby's chakra can be felt from anywhere in the house. So…I'm going down there. Really don't want to. I'm not like, a brave person, or a fighter, or anything like that. But you're down, so I got your back. Okay? You do what you need to do and I'll handle things here as best I can. Hope Sasuke doesn't kill me. That would suck. Still glad you brought me, though. Okay. I'm going."_

* * *

He started with the rape. And since he'd been Kyuubi when it happened, he had access to every detail of how it'd gone down from his perspective as well as Hinata's. A double feature. Slipping into those memories was easier than he wanted it to be, but he didn't back down.

At first he was with Sasuke. In the snow. Using him, subduing him, then covering him with the snow. Sitting on his haunches. Sniffing the wind. Catching her scent. She was close.

He remembered masking himself. Hunkering low down to the ground as he approached the village. Stalking his prey as she arrived and disappeared into the house. They were his, the other male and this female, but she'd yet to submit to him. Intolerable.

He peered into the window. Watched her at the big fire, then in the eating room. Watched her move around. He'd marked the entire house. It was his territory. She was in it and she would submit. He entered on silent feet.

Naruto pulled his mind back a bit. Swallowed. Breathed. _My family, my friends, and m_ y _village_.

He stood in his memories, watching her at the sink, much as Kyuubi stood behind her and watched her. The demon was anticipating her resistance, eager to subdue her. Naruto felt his heart break for these final moments of her innocence. The last of her youth. He could see how tired she was. Her shoulders slumped as she washed a mug, and her hands shook. Then she turned. Saw him.

 _My family, my friends, and my village._

He cried out with her when he struck her. Joined his scream to hers at the penetration attempts, and turned his face away when Kyuubi put his head between her legs. Kept his eyes closed and his hands buried in hair during the rape itself.

 _My family, my friends, and my village._

"I'm sorry," he whispered over her screams. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

It was over. He looked at the mess of her body and cried with her. Watched over her until Sasuke came and caught her as she fell.

Here he steadied himself with an effort. All his insides were trembling, but he made himself go back to the beginning and watch again.

And again.

And again.

Until he could watch and acknowledge her ordeal without looking away. He marked each wound and bled with her. Apologized for each blow, each violent thrust. When he could get through it with nothing more than deep sorrow, he took a cleansing breath and turned away. He needed some time of solitude, no memories, before he could continue.

 _My family, my friends, and my village._

He had no idea how long he spent in the white room repeating that.

* * *

" _Naruto? It's me. Brought our son to see you. It's been forty-eight hours." Silence. "Want to say hi to your dad?"_

 _Urgent cooing._

" _I think he senses that kid downstairs. He hasn't eaten or slept since it showed up. I'm worried about him, but like you told me before he's holding strong. Doesn't seem to be suffering. Chou says his vitals are unnaturally strong, and he shows no signs of malnourishment or fatigue." More silence. More babbling from Icky. "I've tried everything on that thing downstairs, Naruto, down to partial_ Susanoo _. Nothing works. Chakra's absorbed, blunt force just rebounds off of some kind of shield. Made of chakra, but still. Chou's down there now. Assessing the kid, according to him. Says it's huge for its gestational age. Strong. And I'm standing there thinking, 'Tell me something I don't know.'"_

 _A pause._

" _Hey. You're crying. What are you doing in whatever dream you're in? Look, I need you to come back. We agreed we hated that kid. Look what it's done already. We were_ right _to hate it. And now we have to kill it. Together."_

 _Icky started crying._

" _Hurry up and come back, okay? I love you."_

* * *

He was done with the room. No longer needed it. Wanting to maintain his momentum of dealing with the worst shit first, he now went for her memories of someplace called Last Town.

These he paid extremely close attention to, as he focused on the kid at last. Scrutinized and catalogued his interactions with Mao. Most especially the way he took over Hinata's body. _Why_ he did so, and what actions Hinata did that triggered the control. Then he analyzed Hinata's memories. Data she'd collated about the kid. Discovered the name she'd picked for him. He went through it all, frowning at her fear and longing to comfort her. To be at her side. To protect her, hold her hand, and tell her everything would be all right. He lived her pain and terror, her tears, her deductions about the kid. Right up until she tried to come to him. He stopped here. Braced himself.

"Hinata. God. You will never know how sorry I am."

It was so much worse than the rape. It helped that, lodged in her memories as he was, he saw that she really hadn't experienced any pain in the end. Helped, but not much. He winced at each crunch of bone. Felt something in him splinter in commiseration, something he knew would never be right again. It ended with the messages. He was past the ability to be surprised by anything, so the fact that Sakura and most of Konoha were on their way to him was only noted, nothing more.

-oOo-

Finished, he retreated to the starry, moonlit landscape he'd met Hinata's soul in. He spent a long time sitting beneath those stars and sharing her memories. Remembering her. Crying. Apologizing. He couldn't seem to stop apologizing, as if that would help. It didn't.

None of it was his fault. But he was the cause of all of it. He spent time accepting this. It was something he would carry forever.

At last he was able to settle back into his own mind. To bear himself. It wouldn't be easy, would never be easy, but now he could at least move forward and begin making things right.

 _My family. My friends. My village._

As far as family was concerned, he was a father. He had children. He took that duty, that privilege, very seriously. His children needed him. And both his friends and his village were on their way. Good. He was ready. Or almost ready.

He studied what Hinata had given him on their son once more, but his conclusions were the same. "Hinata," he said as he began the process of waking up. "I'm going to keep that promise. Count on it."

* * *

This time when he opened his eyes, he was alone. He soon found out why; Chou and Sasuke could be heard yelling downstairs. Seemed the baby was in the process of being born.

Moving purposefully but without haste, he walked to the nursery.

-oOo-

Five clones of Sasuke stood in a line before the crib, ready to challenge him. He stopped, considered engaging them, but the matter was taken out of his hands. Icky blasted them with lightning from behind, pulled himself up with difficulty, and stood on wobbly legs in his crib. He gave a sharp squawk at seeing Naruto. Stretched one hand toward him.

"Glad we're on the same page, then." He went to his son and picked him up. Sat with him. Closed his eyes.

Icky stared up at him.

Even with his newfound determination, and the yells downstairs urging him on, it was hard. Person to person, it was hard. He needed long moments, precious time, to make the flimsiest connection…

But it was enough for Icky to work with. He grasped the tenuous thread of thought Naruto fed him, strengthened it until it was a thick cable of mental energy, and sucked Naruto out of himself, down, down, down, and into blackness.

-oOo-

 _He was blind. But a glow brightened in the distance until he realized he was flying toward something. A person. Small. He burst into the brightness all at once, and knew the person was his son, Icky. Knew, but couldn't see him. Icky's mind was too strong, his thoughts too bright._

 _ **"Hi Daddy!"**_

* * *

Sasuke was caught unprepared. Despite having the abomination under his roof for two days, and attacking it to no avail, he was leaning against the doorway between living room and kitchen, arms crossed, and wondering what to eat. Chou was kneeling next to the body in another one of his pointless –in his estimation- examinations. He'd just about decided on deer when Chou's scream had him nearly shitting himself.

He bounded across the room, chakra blazing, to find Hinata's body enveloped in its own cloud of chakra. Upon closer inspection, though, he saw that that wasn't right. Hinata's stomach was _opening_. And chakra was pouring out.

Ten endless seconds passed like syrup as the hairs all over his body stood up. To his enhanced eyes, the chakra looked like nothing so much as the sky lights visible in this part of the world. Swirling slowly, deliberately, as if every particle of it was consciously directed…which it likely was. It was different from the chakra already surrounding Hinata's corpse. That held steady at an even frequency. This…he narrowed his eyes, concentrating on Hinata's stomach. It was like looking at an ocean wave, one contained within a small area. Incredibly strong, unbelievably dense chakra unlike any he'd ever felt.

But it was when he saw her stomach begin opening that he felt his balls shrivel. One small fist pushed through her flesh, thus allowing that chakra to spill out. It rose, that fist, exposing a tough little forearm covered in blood. Here the opening stretched and tore with a sound that had Sasuke yelling and Chou hollering; something larger than a hand was forcing its way through. Round and wet and also bloody. A head. It emerged halfway, withdrew, emerged once more…and turned.

Two pale eyes glowing with an unfamiliar pattern pinned them where they stood.

Chou was still screaming, but Sasuke both saw and felt the way the kid's chakra spiked before exploding outward at them. He threw himself down, yelling for Chou to get back-

-but nothing happened. Sasuke opened his eyes.

Chou was down on one knee, hands outstretched toward Hinata and her kid. He had a shield of chakra surrounding mother and child both. The kid's chakra was now locked inside, where it rebounded off the walls of the shield as if seeking an exit. "Sasuke!" Chou yelled. "Help!"

Sasuke got to his feet and cautiously inspected the shield. That it was strong was evident, but to block that kind of power with chakra alone… Chou wasn't even ninja. "How are you doing that?"

"I don't know! But the kid is resisting it, so help me!"

"Not sure I ca— _tch!_ "

Within the shield, the kid climbed fully from Hinata's body with a grisly ripping of flesh. He sat crouched on her remains for them both to see, and studied them in turn.

He _was_ large. Larger than Icky was now, and Icky was six months old. Strong enough to support himself on haunches and hands. He opened his mouth and let out a sound that had Chou screaming, but Sasuke looked upward with a curse.

"What is it?" Chou panted.

"Naruto's awake."

"Thank God! Is he coming to help?"

Sasuke frowned at the knowledge that Icky had neutralized his clones. "I don't know."

The kid on Hinata roared again. Then the chakra surrounding him and filling the shield disappeared into his body…along with Chou's shield. Chou hastily disconnected himself before all his chakra could be absorbed, but this left him exposed. Some kind of pulse went from the kid to them and Chou flew backward. _Susanoo_ served to protect Sasuke, but he released it almost immediately lest his own chakra be sucked away. An incredibly powerful probe hit him between the eyes then. The kid, trying to enter his mind with a staggeringly potent _Genjutsu_. _Eternal_ _Mangekyo_ helped, but the strength behind that probe was inhuman.

Almost vomiting at the strain, Sasuke began to sweat.

* * *

" _ **Hi Daddy! Daddy daddy oh daddy you came back you're better come come here take it this is it the food you want the other the other the other-"**_

 _His head was splitting open. "Icky."_

" _ **-the other is coming he's here he's coming oh no yes come daddy do it do it I can't do it I don't know how hi daddy I can't open it but the open it food food food food food-"**_

" _ICKY."_

 _That babbling went on, his son trying to communicate. Him trying to communicate in turn was like talking to a wall. He could feel and hear what was going on downstairs, if dimly. He knew Hinata's son was coming. Hinata herself had told him. He'd seen it with his own eyes, and he could feel Chou and Sasuke's chakra engaged. He didn't have time to try and decipher what Icky was telling him, and he didn't have time to fumble. He sent a quelling sense of his urgency to the supernova of thought that was his son. "STOP."_

 _Silence._

 _He took a moment to study the waiting yet eager presence of his son, and recalled that past communication with the boy was really only successful when he led with his feelings. He did so now, letting his grief and pain hit the boy unchecked. His duty. His responsibility. His love and regret for Hinata and his determination to make things right. To shoulder the weight forced upon him at last and be who he was. This he shoved toward the brilliance of Icky's mind._

 _It was received. Picked apart, reformed, and then analyzed. Understood._

 _He would have cried out at feeling his own mind sucked deeper into his son if he was capable of speech, but all he did was brace himself as he felt his brain stressed to its limits. "Icky…"_

" _ **Sorry, daddy. I had to bringed you down more so you could understand me. I can't talk too good and thoughtwords are still hard for me. I don't know how to do it like you. Is this better?"**_

 _His son's mind was still vastly more powerful than his own. "Oh my God. Icky?"_

" _ **Yes, yes. I'm using feelwords. Can you understand me now?"**_

" _Yes. My God. Icky, I want to tell you how sorry-"_

" _ **I know, daddy."**_

" _And how much I love you-"_

" _ **Also I know that."**_

" _I can't see you."_

" _ **Yes you can, you're seeing me with feels."**_

 _He could indeed feel the warm, loving presence of his son all around him. It was like being dunked in solace. "I mean really see you…but that's not why I'm here. Icky, your brother is here and he's powerful."_

" _ **Yes yes."**_

" _I need to help him. And I need to help you. I need to protect all of us, and I can't do that. Not without power. Icky, I need Kyuubi back."_

" _ **Yes yes. I know. The foodmind. It's here but I don't know how to do it. You take it."**_

" _Take it? Where is he?"_

 _He got the equivalent of a shrug in response._

" _Can you feel him?"_

" _ **The foodmind? No."**_

" _But you used him when I was dead. To help you."_

" _ **I did?"**_

" _Don't you remember?"_

 _A thinking sensation._ _ **"Not too good. I remember Daddy Sasuke's feels. So bad. A lot of ouch. And you. Not-here. The dead. I did that thing. The roof-fall thing. But the after is hard thoughts."**_

 _Sadness surrounded him. Icky didn't like disappointing him._

" _It's okay. Maybe I can help you remember. Okay? Can you let me into your mind? Your memories?"_

" _ **But you're soft. It might ouch you."**_

" _I know I'm weak, but that's why I need to do this. For my family. My friends and my village. But also for me, Icky. If I'm going to live with myself then I need to be the Uzumaki Naruto I know how to be. Trust your daddy…I can do this. I will do this. Just let me in so I can find him, okay?"_

"… _ **Okay, daddy."**_

* * *

Sasuke backed around the end of the couch, eyes scanning left and right. Chou was behind him, one huge hand on his back, whimpering.

The kid had slithered to the floor after his initial attempt at a _Genjutsu_ , then scuttled with astonishing speed out of sight. His chakra was now repressed, so sensing him was difficult. Sasuke thought he felt something by the door, but when he edged that way there was no kid to be found.

A sound had them whirling. Chou's breathing made hearing anything else almost impossible, though. He was just about to tell him to shut up when a sharp crack had the guy screaming, and him holding his sword at the ready. The sound had definitely come from the door. This time when he got there he saw a hole in the thing, low down by the floor. The kid had crashed right through it.

Which meant he was now outside, loose in the land.

"Fuck." Sasuke sheathed his sword. "Come on."

"I'm not going after that thing! I'm staying right here. Maybe…oh, this is horrible of me to say, but maybe a bear will get him. A wolf. Something like that."

Sasuke left. He didn't have the time or patience to explain that if the kid could resist them so effectively, a bear didn't stand a chance. He yanked the door open and left a sobbing Chou behind.

-oOo-

The weather had long since turned. The sun was now out long enough to melt the ocean around their island. He was just in time to see the brat dart onto the water, sink choking and spluttering, then rise up again glowing with chakra. He all but flew across the surface, leaving a tail of mist and spray in his wake. Sasuke took off after him.

Under no circumstances did he engage the thing. But getting close enough to land a killing blow was almost impossible. The kid ran across the water on all fours until something beneath him caught his attention. He stopped, bobbing on the waves, and peered down. Sasuke stopped a couple hundred yards away, watching. The kid continued to stare downward until he put out his hand.

Sasuke shielded his face with an arm as a blue whale was yanked out of the water in a terrific display of power. It hovered there, bawling in distress, until whatever power that held it up now exploded the whale in a shower of red. Sasuke was sprayed with gore. Pieces of bone hit him with such force that shards embedded themselves in his skin. He brought his arm down in time to see the kid disappearing again, bleating at the sky.

* * *

 _Icky's memories were surrounded by his incomplete understanding of the world, and thus distorted beyond what Naruto could easily recognize. He tried anyway. Concentrated on the feelings behind the memories. After awhile he found a way to view the memories without Icky's perceptions and that was better. He was able to move along faster._

 _He got a firsthand view of Sasuke's time with Sachi, but skipped that. He skipped everything until he came upon a patch of grief that was raw and formless._ This is it. _He felt his way along the edges of it, seeking the center, where Icky's memories were likely to be. Except there wasn't much memory there. The pain was too large, canceling out his son's thought processes at the time. He felt for him, he really did, and it did something to him to see how hurt the boy had been at killing him. That's what he was swimming in, the deep, black despair Icky had felt at killing his father. It was quite as black and deep as his own feelings on stabbing his son._

 _That made him stop._

 _Icky loved him. Was always so happy to see him and be held by him. He'd known the kid was sorry for killing him, but knowing it and living it were two different things. Had he understood that the kid was carrying around this much pain and regret, he would have…what? He didn't know. What he did know was that Icky had found a way to deal with it. By loving him, Naruto, and cherishing him. He'd hurt his father, but his father was alive and well, and he took comfort in that. Healed with that. And for the first time it hit Naruto that it was okay. He'd hurt his son but he still had him and he was forgiven. It wasn't something he would have done under normal circumstances. It had happened. He couldn't change that. But he could stop carrying it. It was okay to forgive himself. Forgiving didn't mean he would forget. It just meant he could appreciate the son he had and help him heal even more._

" _Icky."_

" _ **No. I don't want to go in there."**_

" _Please. Just come here."_

 _He could feel the reluctance, but Icky's presence swelled around him. It quivered in the grief, in the memory of hearing he was dead. The grief swelled around them, but Naruto enveloped his son with his own love. With his acceptance, and forgiveness, and how much he wanted him. How precious he was to him. Things there would never be language enough to express. He surrounded him with that feeling, let it permeate his own grief, and somewhere in there while they were sharing, the pain was just…gone. He was left with just his son. His beautiful boy._

" _ **I remember!"**_

 _Naruto would have smiled, but he pulled back and let Icky lead the rest of the way through his memories. He arrived at the moment the boy's pain had crested and said, "Stop. Right here. Do you see what you're doing?"_

" _ **Looking. For powers."**_

" _Yes. Fuck. Sasuke wasn't kidding, you really have those eyes. Icky, how'd you know what to look for?"_

" _ **I didn't. I knowed I could help. Was looking for how, but I didn't know. Then when I felt it I knowed."**_

" _Okay there! Right there. See? You have Kyuubi, you're using him. The foodmind."_

 _Icky dutifully studied the memory._ _ **"Okay, take it."**_

"… _No, you have to give him to me."_

"… _ **How? Can't give. It's gone. I ate it."**_

 _And even now that thought gave him the shivers. "The same way you took him from me, give him back!"_

 _Icky was silent. There was more of the thinking sensation._ _ **"I would dead. Be dead."**_

" _What?"_

" _ **I'm looking at your thoughts. People have had this foodmind before you. If you take the foodmind, they dead. Die."**_

" _Yes. I mean no, that's if a Bijuu is sealed in them and then extracted, but it's not sealed in you."_

" _ **I can't give it."**_

" _Yes you can, just-"_

" _ **Food. You eat. Yes yes?"**_

" _Yeah, of course I eat-"_

" _ **When you eat, it makes your body. Yes yes?"**_

" _Nourishes me, yes." A sinking feeling crept up on him. He thought he could see where this was going._

" _ **After, the food can't come again. It's in your body. It**_ **is** _ **your body. If you take the foodmind it will ouch me. Maybe dead me. But take it. I can't give it."**_

 _Which meant, once he'd broken this down, that the Kyuubi was so inextricably linked with his son's makeup that extracting it would not only be impossible, but might kill Icky._

" _No. I won't believe that. You used him, which means he_ can _be extracted. How in fuck I'm supposed to reseal him in myself I got no idea, but I'll figure it out. I just need to get to him first. Icky, put me in that memory."_

" _ **How?"**_

" _I don't know. But if you have_ Rinnegan _, you can do shit I can't even dream of so I'm confident you'll find away. I believe in you. You brought me back from the dead."_

 _Heavy doubt and skepticism._

" _Icky. Baby. Your brother is out there fucking Sasuke up, I can feel it. I need to help him, okay? Your brother. But to do that, I need to stop him, and to do_ that _, I need to be at full strength." For good measure he sent along Hinata's plea. Her desperation for help, and the promise he'd made her._

 _Icky ignored all that and focused on Hinata's memories of her son. Naruto sensed surprise and fear, followed by a species of steely resolve._

 _And then his mind was blown to fragments._

* * *

Sasuke lost track of time, as he so often did now that the sun never set. He wiped sweat from his eyes and bent to study the ground. Chakra burns. Scorch marks. He could see a few trees up ahead still on fire. Still see the canyons of displaced earth, the way a distant cliff crumbled apart as if kicked by some giant foot. He could certainly smell the ozone of lightning techniques, and see the smooth, glassy surface of rocks and trees cut by wind. The kid was experimenting with his chakra, all while remaining out of sight.

He didn't have access to natural chakra to overload the monster if he got close enough for it to suck him dry, and he didn't have the raw power it would take to overwhelm the little shit's brute strength. Naruto had beaten Pain, but this kid outstripped Pain. It was pointless to strategize, but he did so anyway, and continued to stalk him.

* * *

Chou finally considered himself calm enough to get to his feet and take stock. He was a great blubbering coward, but that was nothing new to him. He wasn't a fighter.

He decided to go upstairs and check on Naruto, but the corpse caught his eye. It was badly mutilated. Drifting closer, he tried to see the girl it had been in the misshapen features. The only real thing intact was the hair, though. Long and thick. So dark. He crouched and lifted a lock between two fingers. Still soft. He looked at the rest of her body and felt sad. She must have been an extraordinary person for both Sasuke and Naruto to love her. He'd seen Sasuke's reaction. And this must be the person Naruto thought Sasuke had such strong feelings for. Besides, Naruto had experienced a complete psychotic break at seeing the evidence of this girl's suffering. That must mean strong feelings of his own. His best friend, he'd called her. Yes. And Naruto was someone who took his friends seriously, he could tell.

All of this thinking of Naruto reminded him that Sasuke'd said he was awake. Laying the lock of hair gently over Hinata's shoulder, Chou straightened and made for the stairs. Halfway there he frowned. Stopped. Cocked his head. Then he was dashing the rest of the way up and stumbling into the nursery.

A cloud of oppressive orange chakra surrounded Naruto and the baby, where he was ensconced forehead to forehead in Naruto's arms.

* * *

 _Going into a memory was not something he'd ever do again, assuming he lived. He felt as if he was literally being dismantled atom by atom, and reconstituted into something else. He could feel Icky, barely, and the kid was likewise in distress. Trying to keep them anchored in this one moment, trying to take the instructions Naruto shouted at him through the maelstrom of agony and implement them. Trying…and failing. He could see the boy simply did not know how to access the demon. It was like asking him or Sasuke to access a bite of apple they'd eaten months ago, that had already been utilized by their bodies._

 _His frustration was acute. He could sense a ghost of Kyuubi, could almost touch him, and he just…couldn't…make it. He and Icky were both fading, and he fought. Fought with all the determination he had to-_

" _ **Daddy, I got it!"**_

 _Icky shoved something at him. He caught it, lost it, snagged it, and barely managed to hang on to it. Just. Barely. Even so, it was slipping through his fingers. Naruto hurled his entire being at the thing, curled himself around it, and hung on tight. The pain was intense. Somewhere in the distance Icky was screaming for him. He tried to let go, to go to him, but he was caught. Hooked through his center and twined around something that was burning him alive from within. "ICKY!"_

* * *

Chou slowly backed out of the room when the chakra began shredding the walls and floor. He briefly considered whether or not the house would remain intact and if he should try and remove Naruto and the baby from harm…but a large chunk of the roof fell in right then and he decided to trust his _Kage_ to take care of himself. He got out of there.

* * *

Sasuke crouched behind a boulder. He could sense the little fucker, but still couldn't see him. Odd. He should be able to see the chakra, at least. Even if a masking jutsu was in place, he-

The kid shimmered into existence not ten feet in front of him. Sasuke narrowed his eyes in analysis even as he was leaping backward. The shit wasn't using a masking jutsu. He'd bent the light around himself to make himself invisible. _What in the fuck-_

Something shot at him from the kid's mouth. A ball of chakra that pulverized the tree he landed behind. A splinter grazed his cheek, but he retaliated with full-blown _Susanoo,_ followed by both lightning and fire. They were all withstood, absorbed, or deflected. The _Genjutsu_ he leveled at those demonic eyes was completely demolished on contact with the boy's mind. Then he felt himself snatched off his feet and pulled toward the kid, who had his mouth open. Another of those chakra blasts was about to come his way.

* * *

Chou glanced back when the explosion went off. The place where Naruto's house had stood was now one huge pillar of fire, wind, lightning, earth, water, and chakra. That evil, orange chakra with the elements swirling up the outside, twining about it in some intricate pattern. Clouds gathered directly above, as far as his eyes could see, to bring on a false night. That pillar of chakra glowed malevolently, swelling, obliterating the village. Chou adjusted his burden on his back and kept running.

* * *

He managed to break the hold on him. Noted it was the same as Pain's command over repulsive and attractive forces. Blocked the next blast with chakra, dodged the one after that, was yanked off his feet again, this time in spite of the chakra he had concentrated to his feet against that occurrence. His body resisted the pull just long enough for him to feel both hips dislocated and his spine crack ominously. He was dropped. But then the same force began crushing him where he lay. He was held immobile as his chest was slowly and deliberately compressed. Blood flew out of his mouth as he coughed in agony.

* * *

" _Where am I."_

" _Nowhere. The beginning. Or the end. That would depend on you."_

" _Icky?"_

" _No."_

 _Naruto blinked. He could see stars and galaxies above him. Planets and the sun below him. Sasuke dying. Chou running. Icky limp in his arms, and his own eyes, nose, and ears bleeding. Then he turned._

 _Kyuubi sat crouched behind him, surveying the same scene._

" _Kyuubi."_

 _The demon stared at him. "I hurt the girl. I had no control over myself. Neither did the child. But I did hurt her. I hurt Sasuke. My mind was taken from me, leaving something worse than I'd ever been. I've been angry at humanity for centuries. At how they used my brethren and me. Abused us. They demonized us. But what that child did…while not his fault, made me something worse. I …ask your forgiveness."_

 _Naruto witnessed the amazing sight of Kyuubi lowering his head in shame until it hung between his claws._

" _I'm glad you said that. Because I had a major bone to pick with you. I forgive you. Seems we all did something we didn't want to do."_

" _Naruto. That child I put in Hinata is wrong. But she was right, he can be helped. You'll need more than me."_

" _What do you mean? Wrong, how? What more than you are you talking about?"_

" _Wrong. Sometimes a person comes out wrong. This isn't evil and choice, like Madara, though anyone has the potential to be evil. Nor is it pain and anger like Sasuke used to be. He's just wrong. And very powerful."_

 _That reminded him of something. "Dude. What the fuck, why'd you make me pregnant!"_

" _I? That wasn't me that was_ your _doing, your hysteria over losing Sasuke to some girl! I told you to stop! Begged you to stop-"_

 _Naruto silenced him with a hand gesture. Turned from him._

" _It wasn't your fault, Naruto. You-"_

" _At what point does any of this become someone's fault? Huh? When is someone going to step up and take responsibility?"_

"… _Isn't that why you're here?"_

" _Where is here?"_

" _The beginning or end."_

" _Of_ what?"

 _Kyuubi held something out in his hand. A glowing sphere of white. "Your inheritance. Buried deep within your firstborn. He is the rightful heir, the legacy, but you are his sire. It is yours as well. And the legacy has two parts. Both of them yours."_

" _I don't understand shit-"_

" _You will."_

" _Sasuke and Icky are dying, and here you are giving me stupid-"_

" _Time stands still here."_

" _But-"_

" _Take it and save them. Fulfill your promise. Or it all ends here."_

" _I came here for you, not some-"_

" _You have me. I'm back where I belong."_

 _Naruto blinked at the cage that was suddenly there. Kyuubi sat behind it. "How-"_

" _Live or die." His claw was extended through the bars, the glowing sphere still in it._

" _But-"_

" _Live or die."_

" _I have you, so I don't need-"_

" _Live. Or die."_

" _You're not making sense!"_

 _Kyuubi reached out his other hand and flicked Naruto's forehead with a claw._

His son with Hinata. Destruction, death, the world in turmoil. Icky, his other son, somehow linked with his brother, on a rampage of such devastation that there could be no recovery. Hinata's son was indeed powerful. More powerful than anything he'd ever gone up against.

" _Live. Or. Die."_

My family, my friends, and my village. _He stretched his hands towards the sphere._

* * *

He regained his senses in time to see his son spasming in his arms. His eyes were rolling unpleasantly and he didn't respond to his name being called.

In the past he would have panicked. Yelled for Sasuke. Now he simply placed his hand over the boy's head, closed his eyes, and accessed the new knowledge he'd been given. Icky's vitals smoothed out. Stabilized. The boy took a breath that restored the color to his cheeks and had him turning into Naruto's chest.

Naruto looked up. Churning clouds darkened the sky. He was sitting in the center of a circle of obliteration that spanned the entire village and beyond. A clone appeared beside him and took Icky from his arms.

* * *

Sasuke resisted. _Susanoo_ was torn apart, _Amaterasu_ absorbed. The pressure on his chest increased. He was unable to move, but he didn't have to. The kid came to him. Crawled and waddled on all fours until he was close enough to Sasuke to peer down into his face. Sasuke saw his soulless eyes rake over his body and felt his ribcage cave in completely-

A blast of chakra shot the little demon high into the air…then held him there, encased in a bubble. Sasuke lay choking on his own blood until Naruto walked into view. He was staring at the bubble where it hung in the air, but he glanced down at him. Bent and placed a hand on his chest. And suddenly he could breathe. His injuries were healed. Sasuke rolled to his feet and snatched up his sword. He looked up at the bubble, where the kid could be seen raging futilely. Then he looked at Naruto.

He was glowing. And his eyes were sporting both Sage Mode and Kyuubi.

"What the fuck-"

Naruto was gone. When he turned to look, so was the bubble containing the kid.

* * *

Chou screamed when Naruto dropped down in front of him. Then he screamed again at getting a good look at him.

Naruto held up a placating hand. "Chou? It's me."

"I know it's you! But _look_ at you!"

"I know it's kinda scary, but trust me when I say I'm not going to hurt you. I would never."

"I know." Chou sniffed long and hard. "But so much is happening that I didn't bargain for. That kid! And whatever it was you were doing with Ikioi! And-"

Naruto reached him and put a hand on one meaty shoulder. "I know. But everything's under control now. I promise."

"Really?"

"Really. Sit down with me?"

They sat right there in the summer snow. Naruto eyed the bundle that had been on Chou's back. Now it lay beside him. He didn't press Chou. Just waited. Sure enough, Chou broke down and cried. Poured out his fears. How scary Sasuke was, how scary the kid was, his doubts about staying in the village. Wondering if it wasn't just better to go back to the station. "I mean, at least there I knew I was safe. Nothing lives down there. Nothing that could hurt me, anyway. This? I don't think I can handle it. I don't think I'm a very good villager." He hung his big head.

Naruto gave him a few moments, staring at the bundle. "I heard everything you and Sasuke said while I was down. How you were loyal to me. Believed in me. So not only are you an excellent villager, you're a good person. The kind of person I want to keep with me as a friend, not just a villager. I know the way you saved yourself and Sasuke when the kid first tried to blast his way out of Hinata. You're strong, Chou. Stronger than you know." He looked at him. Chou sat with his mouth open, mesmerized. "And as long as I'm around? You're safe. That's my promise to you. I'm not the kind of _Kage_ who would let his villagers live in fear. I keep my promises."

Chou nodded. "Okay."

"Really? You'll come back?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Because as my first villager, my friend, and Hakumeigakure's only medical staff, I have a favor to ask of you."

"Oh?"

Naruto gently touched the bundle at his feet. "Can you help her?"

Chou didn't immediately answer. "I brought her because I couldn't just leave her. But she's really messed up. I'm not sure I can do anything."

"Just try. Please. Okay?"

"All right. I'll try."

* * *

They all arrived back at the site of the village to find Naruto's clone still holding Icky and the bubble containing the new kid beside the clone. Sasuke looked from Naruto to Chou to the bubble. Looked around. There wasn't a single house intact. "And what the hell are we supposed to do now? What _happened_ here?"

Naruto didn't answer.

"Tell me you're at least going to kill that monster of a kid," Sasuke wanted to know. "Naruto? Tell me-"

Naruto walked away from them. The Summoning of Gamakichi was a surprise. Naruto hopped onto his nose and spoke quietly to the toad for a few minutes. When Gamakichi unfurled his tongue, Chou was the first one to climb up, follow by the clone. Naruto held his hand out to the bubble containing the snarling kid and it soared upward, into 'Kichi's mouth. Sasuke, sheathing his sword, finally followed them.

-oOo-

They came out in a village Sasuke recognized from when he'd made three thousand clones to scout the world for someplace to take Naruto. A lifetime ago. It was still in the arctic circle, but a good two hundred miles northeast of their old village. He hadn't chosen it because it was about twice the size of the village he _had_ chosen. He hadn't needed that much space.

Chou stared at all the houses. Most were stone, but there were a few wooden structures. This village actually had streets. Town buildings. "Is it deserted?"

Naruto didn't answer, but he walked toward a large house near the center of town and entered. Gamakichi left. Chou, the clone, and Sasuke followed. The bubble floated at Naruto's side, the kid still screaming in it. Sasuke was waiting for Naruto to directly address that kid. He wouldn't feel comfortable until it was dead.

* * *

The house was furnished. Three stories, handsomely decorated. "Who would leave behind a village of such nice houses?" Chou asked. Again, he was met with silence. Sasuke was starting to get annoyed.

Upstairs, Naruto went directly to what was clearly a children's room. There was a crib, a few broken toys. Naruto tested the crib, dusted off the mattress. The clone placed Icky inside before vanishing. They all now turned to the bubble, which sat in the middle of the room. The kid inside was silent. Watching them.

The bubble, which was nothing more than chakra, dissolved when Naruto held out a hand to it. Chou backed up to the wall. Naruto stood in front of the crib. Sasuke stood opposite him.

The kid stared nowhere but at Naruto. His small body glowed, his eyes glowed, and he opened his mouth to let out a piercing roar that made Sasuke and Chou wince. The kid launched himself at Naruto, chakra boiling out of him.

Naruto's roar shook the entire village.

The sound was enough to have Sasuke and Chou's ears bleeding, and the kid falling out of the air mid-leap. The kid sat down uncertainly.

The chakra cloak Naruto sported sent an arm toward the baby and latched onto his head, where it promptly began sucking out his chakra. The boy screamed in rage, swiping at that arm. But now that he was no longer powered up, they could see him clearly.

During his run through the countryside he'd passed through enough water and snow to have him relatively clean. His hair was blond. Thick and utterly smooth, as Hinata's had been. The eyes were Hyuuga eyes, Hinata's soft lilac, and no longer sporting their glowing flower pattern. They glared up at Naruto in anger and confusion, surrounded by black lashes.

Naruto kept his chakra cloak as he took a few steps toward him. "Hyuuga Yuudai. I don't know if you can understand me, but that's your name. The name your mother gave you. The mother you killed. I'm your-"

Yuudai recovered in a remarkably short time. The _Genjutsu_ he threw at Naruto knocked him back a step, but Kyuubi came to his defense in time for him to see the kid turn toward Sasuke and Chou with an intent to attack. Sasuke was ready. Chou was in the process of running out of the room. Naruto slammed one chakra fist down on Yuudai's back, a blow that cracked the stone floor, and successfully knocked the boy unconscious. He followed up by walking over to Yuudai and sucking his chakra more thoroughly this time. He then encased him in the bubble once more. "Fucking beast."

He turned and found Icky standing in the crib, watching everything.

Naruto released his chakra and went to him with a smile, Sasuke saw. Bent his head to him. Whispered something. Kissed him. Icky cooed in response, but that was all Naruto did. He soon left the room as well.

And later, he was nowhere to be found in the village.

* * *

Over the next day, toads brought food and powdered milk. Clothing and other supplies. Chou was closeted in one of the houses with Hinata's body. Icky continuously babbled at the bubble that sat in the middle of his room, but Naruto didn't return to check on Yuudai or release the bubble. Clearly Yuudai suffered no ill effects from lack of food, nor did he weaken and grow silent. He screamed constantly, the sound muffled by the chakra surrounding him. It was odd how he was unable to absorb the chakra bubble. Sasuke sensed him trying, but the bubble remained the same.

* * *

At the end of three days, Sasuke found Naruto at the extreme northern tip of the village, where there was nothing but a mountain and ice. Naruto stood at the base of the mountain, where the ground was rocky and bare. A hole had been dug into the side of the mountain, into the rock itself. There was a pile of stones beside where Naruto stood. He had to have heard him approach but Naruto didn't turn around. Only stared at the hole.

Sasuke stared at him. No chakra now, just Naruto wearing a dark cloak, his hands shoved into the pockets. He wanted to talk to him. The last interaction between them they'd nearly kissed. Naruto forgave him for the shit with Sachi. They were good again. But then Hinata and her spawn had shown up. He understood if Naruto needed to grieve. He would give him that time, but he would also remind him of the living. Namely himself. Their son. They were a family now, there was no one in the way, and he meant to have him. He couldn't live another day without Naruto. Seeing him at full strength, _beyond_ full strength—which he would get the details on later—, had really brought that home to him. This was the guy he knew, the guy he loved. He missed him so much it was a constant ache.

He wondered what the hole signified and how long Naruto was going to stand in front of it until Chou walked up. He was carrying Hinata. Sasuke frowned. Chou was supposed to be minding the bubble. Icky, sitting in the crook of Sasuke's arm, gave a soft hum at seeing Chou. He liked the guy. Chou walked around to stand in front of Naruto and gently laid Hinata at his feet. He stepped back behind Naruto once more and bowed his head.

So this was a funeral.

Sasuke swallowed. But he found that now that Hinata was dead, so were his feelings. Whatever they'd been. A brief madness. He looked down at her body, _remembered_ her body, and there was pain. Not much, but a lingering twinge. A memory of how much pain he'd been in when he'd lain with her. He would never be able to remember that night without remembering that pain, but it was over. She was gone. So was most of the pain. And so were his feelings. That almost made him smile. He was free. Finally free to give himself completely to Naruto once more. He could look him in the eye the next time they discussed this —and it would be soon, he knew—and tell him with perfect honesty that the only one he loved was him.

Looking down at Hinata's body, he felt peace. Finally.

-oOo-

Naruto stared at the shroud for many minutes. Not thinking, just feeling. Every feeling he'd ever felt around her. All the hundreds of times he'd crossed her path in Konoha. Every time she'd ever said his name. Every time she'd ever defended him or supported him or encouraged him. He let the feelings swell in him. Welcomed the pain they caused him. Did nothing to wipe the tears that poured down his cheeks. He bared all before her, respecting her death, honoring her life. This was goodbye.

He stood there until he was spent. Hours. But at last he could breathe in properly and release it in a long sigh. He knelt and carefully undid the part of the shroud covering her face. Stared.

"I did the best I could," Chou said quietly.

She was almost perfect. The stitches were so fine he could barely see them. Her lids were closed, but not sunken. Her hair lay smooth and shiny around her face, her color as rosy as if she breathed. The products Chou'd asked him to bring had been put to good use, he saw. For that, he was grateful. "Thank you, Chou."

Chou bowed from the waist.

Naruto cupped her cheek. Cold. Hard. He didn't pull away. Only gazed down at her and felt sadness. He bent close and left a soft kiss on her lips. Stayed there with his mouth against hers. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry for everything. But I have him. I have our son. I will keep my promise. Be at peace, Hinata. I love you."

He closed the shroud. For a moment his grief was so heavy that he couldn't move. Then it lessened, and he lifted her. Walked to the hole he'd dug in the mountainside, which was nothing more than an upright tomb, and placed her inside. He then spent time placing the stones he'd gathered one by one, enclosing her. Sealing her away. He cried during this too.

-oOo-

Chou left when it was over. Walked back to the village with the sun turning his hair to red fire. Sasuke stayed. Icky watched Naruto, where he stood before the tomb. Sasuke wondered how long he'd grieve. How much time he needed. He walked up to stand beside him. Icky touched Naruto's shoulder, then pulled his hand back. He pouted at the tomb. Mewled. Sasuke stared at the pensive look on Naruto's face and speculated on what he could be thinking.

"She was the best person I ever knew." Naruto's voice was incredibly soft. Composed. "I don't think I'll ever know a soul as good and pure as hers was. I want to spend the rest of my life paying tribute to her, but it has to end here. I have a life to live. Sons to raise. A village to run. My friends are coming."

Sasuke frowned.

"And she wouldn't want me hanging on to the past. To her. To regret and grief. So I'll keep it in my heart. She'll live there where I can spend every day apologizing in private. I'll take care of our son, like she wanted me to. There's just…so much she never got to do. So much."

Here Naruto turned to Sasuke and acknowledged him directly for the first time since coming back from the South Pole. Looked him right in the eyes. "That's why I'm glad she had that night with you."

Sasuke felt his skin shrink all over his body.

"I'm glad the rape wasn't her only experience with a man," Naruto went on. His voice was still low. Intent. Calm. "I'm glad she knew gentleness. Kisses. The sweeter side of…that. It meant something to her. That night. She loved you and it meant something to her. What she had with me was a fantasy, but what you gave her was real. It helped her. She needed it. After what I did, she needed that.

"But so did you. I guess I'll never really know what's in your head or how you feel about those weeks Kyuubi was loose, but I saw the aftermath. I'm still looking at it. So I know you were broken and bleeding in more ways than physically. I know she kept you together. I know she was your lifeline, your hope, the only thing you had to keep you sane. You needed her that night and she helped you too. I know. I understand."

Naruto's eyes were green in the sunlight. Unblinking. And suddenly merciless.

"But you're a liar, Sasuke. A fucking liar. The man you were never had cause to lie. I asked you outright if you'd slept with her. Twice. You looked me in the eyes and said no. Lied right to my face without so much as a blink. I don't know why you did it. I don't care why you did it. I just know you did it. And this, whoever this person is that I'm looking at? I don't know him. So I don't trust him. I'm done. I want you gone. I don't care where you go, but I want you out of my house. Preferably out of the village."

Sasuke felt as if he had ice water in his veins. "What?"

"Give me my son."

His mind was catching up to everything that had been said. Naruto was kicking him out. He tightened his hold on Icky. "No. Look, I know you're mad that I-"

"Give me my son, Sasuke. Now."

"He's not your son. He's our son. And you can't kick me out of his life, I don't care how mad you-"

"Icky," Naruto said. The boy looked at him. "Come to me."

Icky looked up at Sasuke. He planted an awkward, babyish kiss on his chest, something he'd never done before…then vanished. He reappeared in Naruto's arms.

Sasuke looked back and forth between them. "No. Naruto? You can't do this."

"Come near me or my sons for any reason, and you'll regret it. I swear to God you will." Naruto turned and began walking back to the village.

"Naruto."

Kept walking.

"Naruto, wait."

Icky watched him over Naruto's shoulder.

" _Naruto!"_

His only reply was the sound of his voice echoing off the mountains.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Your patience was, and continues to be, greatly appreciated. Thank you for waiting.

* * *

Chapter 7

Sasuke watched them walk away. Refused to beg. Would. Not. Beg.

There'd been a moment in the forest, when Naruto'd told him sex had sucked, that he'd felt something like this. And later, when Naruto sent his brother back, the feeling had been stronger. It had been stronger still the day he'd learned of his brother's sacrifice.

Naruto and Icky were now out of sight.

The closest he could ever recall feeling this way precisely, though, was the day his brother left the village. The night his clan was murdered. That night he'd felt like this. But this was a hundred… no, a thousand times worse.

"Gynng…"

The pain shredding his heart went straight to his brain. He fell to the ground, clutching his head. Tried to keep in his scream. Realized he was screaming anyway, twitching and jerking on the ground.

He could still see the look on Naruto's face when he'd taken Icky. The hate. The contempt. Naruto, who'd loved him like no other. Loved him so much, so hard, for so long, that he'd single-handedly diverted the course of his vengeance. Tamed him. Loved him _so_ _much_ that he'd gotten pregnant. A man. Who'd gotten pregnant through love of _him_. And given him the impossible. A child. A family. In his mind's eye he saw Naruto walking away over and over again. Until the pain in his head now radiated from his eyes, and he thought the agony almost as bad as the pain in his heart. Until he thought he'd go mad. Until the world vanished in a swirl of blue sky and red fire and he was gone, his own scream echoing in his ears.

* * *

Chou watched Naruto enter the house and sympathized with the tears he saw. Followed him upstairs, where he put Icky down for his nap. Followed him down the hall to an exceedingly flowery bedroom. Naruto went to a window here and stood looking out.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

Naruto didn't immediately answer. After a minute, Chou saw his shoulders begin to shake. A series of soundless sobs followed. He was shocked to see Naruto sink to his knees.

"Aw." Chou went to him. "There…uh, there. Mhm. It's okay. She's at peace. You-"

" _Sasuke_." Naruto had his hands on the windowsill, his forehead pressed to his knuckles. His voice was an unrecognizable croak. "Sasuke. Fuck. I really…it's really over."

"What happened?"

The crying increased. A sound that put the hairs up on the back of Chou's neck rose out of Naruto. Chou's shoulders hunched in commiseration. He tried to put a hand out to him, but Naruto whispered, "Leave me alone. Please, Chou. Just leave me alone for a while."

Chou left.

-oOo-

He would never be able to compare anything to the guilt he had over Hinata. But this… What he and Sasuke had would always transcend anything else in his life. And he'd just left him. Really left him. He honestly hadn't known there was this much pain in the world. And it seemed like he always had that thought. This recurring shock at how much life sucked. Between Sasuke, Hinata, and now that beast…

 _No one told you to leave him. You did that all on your own, so now you can just suck it the fuck up. Or go back to him and work this out-_

No. He wanted nothing to do with Uchiha Sasuke ever again. Even if he had to live with this pain for the rest of his days, he was not taking him back. Hell, he was getting used to being miserable. Maybe that's what life really was, just one misery after the next. The happiness he'd had before…that was abnormal. Whatever.

An hour. He'd give himself an hour to wallow, then he'd put it away, never to be touched again. But God. Sasuke.

* * *

When he walked down to the nursery later, he was in tight control of himself. At the door, he stopped. Consciously focused on breathing in slow, even breaths. He needed a moment to clench jaw and fist, to close his eyes as he turned his back on Sasuke for good. Tried to. He couldn't get the look on Sasuke's face when he'd taken Icky out of his mind. That pain. But fuck it, he was hurting too, so Sasuke could drop dead.

He nearly punched the door open. Icky was standing in his crib, looking at the bubble. Naruto, after regaining control of himself, turned his attention to it as well.

The bubble was powered by natural chakra. As such, it was self-sustaining. Yuudai could try to absorb it until hell froze over; there wasn't a being alive who could contain all the chakra in nature. He released the bubble just as he heard Chou enter behind him with a few bottles for Icky. Yuudai sat on his hands and knees, looking at them.

"It's been four days since he was born," Naruto said. "Hasn't eaten. Hasn't shat. Icky at least shits, even when he's not eating." He watched Chou tiptoe around Yuudai to put three bottles in Icky's crib. Icky sat down and began to drink. When Chou scurried back to his side, Naruto continued. "How different is he from Icky? And how different are they both from normal babies? Physically."

" _Oooh_ ," Chou moaned. "I'd need to delve them to find out for sure. Icky, fine, I've already delved him, but please don't make me touch Yuudai. Please?" He was close to tears.

Naruto stared at Yuudai and realized the boy was not, in fact, meeting his eyes. More like looking in his direction. He wasn't looking directly at any of them. And now that he thought about it, he never had. "He's not going to hurt you," he said. "Are you, Beast? You know better. About _that_ , anyway. Chou, go ahead. I'm right here. Remember, I promised you'd be safe. I keep my promises. But I need to know more about my kids."

Chou shuddered, but inched toward Yuudai, who watched him peripherally from his crouch. Chou folded himself down to a cross-legged position about five feet from the boy. "I'd feel better if you held onto him while I worked."

Naruto blinked. The idea of touching Yuudai momentarily put Hinata and the rape in the forefront of his mind, but he forced them down. Cleared his throat. Walked forward. Yuudai's eyes skittered in his direction. The boy didn't move until Naruto sat down and reached for him. He growled low down in his throat and slid out of reach.

Naruto grabbed him anyway and was promptly surprised by the strength of the kid's resistance. Chakra strength was one thing. He wasn't expecting this level of physical strength on top of it. Then a memory of Yuudai shattering Hinata's ribs with a kick surfaced and he thought he understood, but shit. He was only able to hold him still by using his own chakra. Throughout it all, Yuudai made not a sound.

"I think this is as good as it's going to get," Naruto grunted. "Do your thing, man."

Chou scooted closer and coated his hands with chakra. "Make sure you neutralize any attempt by him to access his own chakra, huh? I don't want to be disturbed. Quicker it's done, the better I'll feel."

Naruto gave a nod, already beginning to sweat. Yuudai continued to squirm.

Chou swallowed audibly when he placed both huge hands on Yuudai, but relaxed once the kid went totally still in response. The boy growled, but Chou's eyes looked inward, an expression of intense concentration on his face.

Naruto, free to do so, now took the time to study Chou in turn. He had Sasuke's comment on the strength of Chou's chakra and the memory of how Chou'd protected himself and Sasuke both from Yuudai to guide him, but even so he almost lost his grip on Yuudai at getting a good look at the chakra himself. Insane didn't come close to describing it. More like impossible. Operating on a hunch, he released Yuudai. Yuudai made a move to escape at once, but Chou held him easily, lightly, eyes still closed in concentration. Naruto backed away.

-oOo-

It went on for some time. Long enough for Naruto to change Icky's diaper and sit with him in the chair. Nice, cushy affair, that chair. He was almost falling asleep when Chou gave a cry of surprise at finding himself holding Yuudai. He thrust the boy in Naruto's direction. "Here!"

Shaking his head at how quickly Chou switched from all business to terrified man, Naruto set Icky down and reached for Yuudai.

The boy twisted away.

Naruto held him and tucked him under one arm, chakra in play again. "Well?"

Chou studied Yuudai's struggles a moment. "Right. Uh. Physically. Yuudai is many times stronger than Ikioi. I'd say he has the strength of a couple of high-ranking ninja. Icky's physical strength is proportionate to a child his age. Yuudai regulates his metabolism, but does so unconsciously, the way he no doubt did in the womb. I'm not sure he realizes that he's supposed to eat. He's experiencing hunger pains, but isn't responding to them the way a normal child would. If Icky regulated his metabolism in the womb—and from everything you've told me about him it sounds as if he did—then he's stopped doing it. Icky responds to hunger pains by eating, but he can go without food by reestablishing his control over his metabolism. The difference between him and Yuudai in that regard is that Icky has human instincts. Yuudai doesn't. And by that, I mean, Icky eats when hungry, unless there are extenuating circumstances, and cries when unhappy or afraid. What sets Icky apart from a normal child is that his comprehension is so high. That of a child several years old, at least, if I understand you correctly, but in every other regard he is a baby.

"Yuudai…I can only say he's a baby because I saw him born and can visibly see his immaturity. When I say he doesn't have human instincts, I mean the ones we're born with. To eat. Cry. Bond. He's not doing these things. He doesn't _know_ to do these things, as if something's missing. I sensed that on some level, a very deep level, he is aware of the connection he has with you. But it doesn't mean anything to him. Icky bonded with you and Sasuke before he was born, and that bond only strengthened after his birth, correct?"

"Yes."

"He shows emotion. Yuudai doesn't. Not anger or frustration, anyway, which is what I'd expect considering his destruction and the way he attacks. On the other hand, this lack of empathy or comprehension is, in a way, in keeping with how babies react to things. But only to a point."

"Explain."

Chou twisted his lips as he thought. When he wasn't busy being afraid, he really was formidable in his own right. Now, speaking so knowledgeably, his confidence was visible. Naruto made note of it all.

"It's like this," Chou said. "A baby will bond with his parents or family members, but outside of that nucleus, he's liable to be a selfish, self-involved entity. All babies are. It's a time in their lives when they believe the world exists to serve them. Even with the people they bond with there are tantrums and displays of aggression when they don't get their way. They throw things. Break things. Test their strength. It's how they learn about themselves and the world. They don't have empathy. They don't love, as the word is understood, by having conscious and deliberate feelings of affection. The bonds they form with parents and family are recognition of where food comes from. Where they're safe. Who keeps them safe. Who they belong with. Later, as comprehension develops, love as a conscious thought forms. About the time a child first separates from the home. School. Icky is far beyond that level. Far. Yuudai is smack dab in the middle of it. Except he doesn't have a bond with anyone. We're born with the instinct that we belong with our parents. We stay near our food source. You see it in animals too. I don't know if Yuudai lacks this instinct because of how he was born or what, but he has no concept of…" Chou searched for a word, frowning up at the ceiling. "The only thing that comes to mind is family. He has no concept of family, and no instinct to guide him until he does learn."

"So you wouldn't say he's evil?"

' _This isn't evil and choice, like Madara.'_

"No. That would involve a far greater understanding of the world than he possesses. Malicious intent. He has no intents. No wants either, as far as I can tell."

Another memory surfaced. "He has a connection with Icky. Stopped Hinata from getting too far away from him. So he _wanted_ to stay close enough to him to sense him. And he understood enough to help Hinata avoid detection. He can control minds. He knows how to use his powers at will, unlike Icky, and he knows what his powers do. He knew Hinata loved him-"

"But probably couldn't connect it to anything he understood. It sounds like his only instinct is for survival. That actually is something we're born with. Ours just manifests as eating and crying."

"What about wanting to stay close to Icky?"

"That," Chou said, looking at Yuudai, "is definitely the question of the day. If that's true, then something I've been noticing now makes sense."

"What?"

"He doesn't make eye contact."

"So?"

"Any child as developed as he is would. Icky does. And has been doing so since birth, right?"

"I think so. I was sort of absent."

"Say Yuudai is about the level of a toddler. A child that age who doesn't make eye contact is usually suspected of having autism."

' _Nor is it pain and anger, like Sasuke used to be.'_

"What's that?"

"Autism? The most concise definition is that it's a mental condition, a disorder that manifests as difficulty or the inability to form relationships, communicate, or use language. There's some other stuff, and the term itself encompasses a much broader spectrum than what I just described, but that's the gist. He's not exhibiting all the behavior, but it's a hunch."

" 'He's just wrong. And very powerful,'" Naruto said.

"Wellll…it's not considered correct to call autistic people wrong, but that's about it. Putting a mental disorder with so much power will give you exactly the kind of child you're holding."

He remembered what else Kyuubi'd said. "But he _can_ be helped."

Chou shrugged. "That would depend on the result you want. If all you want is for him to stop attacking, then I suppose you could try. If you want him to form relationships, I suppose there might be a hope for that too. My diagnosis isn't concrete and it's very early. "

"How does this tie in with Icky?"

"Right. I think, and this is only a guess, that that particular connection is genetic. I said his behavior now makes sense as a result of it because before I was thinking he simply had no humanity. But if he does in fact feel, then a mental disorder would explain pretty much everything."

Naruto attempted to summarize. "He can feel. He can learn. It's just going to be really _really_ difficult for him to do either."

"That's my preliminary finding, yes."

And that made all the difference, Naruto decided. His son really did need his help. He was still holding him. He hugged him now, but Yuudai growled and pushed him away. "How are they different from normal babies?"

In answer, Chou questioned him extensively about Icky, and Hinata's memories and impressions of Yuudai. After, he bent his head in thought.

"Icky first. I was wrong. Adult-level comprehension of feelings and emotions. Language on par with a child between preschool and middle childhood, even if only mentally. Motor skills slightly advanced for an infant. If I'm talking ninja comparisons, then he is certainly Chuunin level in terms of jutsu execution and strength, Genin level as far as control of chakra. A normal infant six months of age should be sitting up. He is. Rolling over, lunging, and beginning to crawl. He's behind on rolling and crawling, but ahead of schedule as far as pulling himself up to stand. Normal child initiates and tolerates attention from others. He does. I'm not sure if he exhibits stranger anxiety. He showed none with me, but due to his advanced comprehension, this may be because I came into his life with you. Infants this age also begin learning what behaviors please and displease and will do anything to win your smiles and approval. That leads to expansion of the ways in which he gets your attention. For normal children, anyway. Up till now, a child that wants attention will cry. From now and over the next few months he would start vocalizing, wriggling, making sounds. Icky has been doing that, responding to direct language even, since his birth so he's well ahead of schedule. I don't see him talking anytime soon, though, despite his comprehension. Infants learn sign language much easier than spoken language, so expect him to start pointing, waving, that sort of thing. Especially if you use it often with him."

"I don't. I just talk to him regular. I'll start, though."

"Also start turn-taking games. They like that and learn from it. Stories. They listen and learn language. He doesn't have toys, so get him some. Now's when his curiosity about texture and other things kicks in. He'll put stuff in his mouth, drop things over and over. Just because he's advanced doesn't mean you shouldn't provide him with as much normalcy as possible. That's about it, I think."

"Got it. And Yuudai?"

"Yuudai. Physically, he's about the level of a one-year-old, as I said. As far as movement and motor skills, anyway. I haven't tested his motor skills, though, to know how he grasps and manipulates things. His strength is phenomenal, which isn't just about muscle development. He would have to possess dense bone structure as well. Density in comparison to a child years older. He's a newborn. Literally only days old. A newborn does _nothing_ , Naruto, except eat, sleep, and soil his diaper. Nothing. A newborn can lift his head and turn it if he's lying on his stomach, or see things maybe a foot away. Sounds are more easily and readily recognizable. As for motor skills, a newborn can bring his hand to his mouth. But that's about it. Movement is jerky and involuntary. Not so Yuudai. Nothing about him is remotely in keeping with a normal newborn, so I'm going to compare him to a ninja. I believe even Hyuuga are unable to use _Byakugan_ at birth. I would have to ask a Hyuuga to be sure. I haven't seen Yuudai use his, but it's my belief that he could. If provoked. The way Icky uses lightning when pushed. Going by his comparison to a one-year-old, he doesn't walk, which is fine. Few toddlers that age can. He doesn't initiate attention from others, but rather responds to what he perceives are attacks. Though he doesn't seek attention, he does engage the world around him. He's on schedule for exploring, but the problem is his power. _How_ he explores. He's dangerous, Naruto. He'll most likely kill without knowing or understanding that he's taking a life. He doesn't know what life is. The same way a child his age will throw something, he will kill. It's what happened to Hinata. A tantrum. He didn't knowingly kill her or understand that he was hurting her. He did understand his housing, her body, and that this needed to remain intact for him to continue to survive. As for what happened the night she died and why he didn't heal her…that's confusing to me. I don't know why he objected to her bringing him here. I think he only understood that her bringing him here was her way to stop him, and stopping him, in any way, from anything, is seen by him as a threat. He confuses genuine attacks and discipline, or guidance. Doesn't know the difference. I don't detect conscious thought at all. And very little instinct."

"But what's left after thought and instinct?"

"What's known as the id. A region of the mind associated with, among other things, antisocial behavior, desires, and aggression. In older people, it's also where sexual urges reside. This is, in fact, in keeping with all newborn children, as I mentioned. Icky never had this stage, so Yuudai seems monstrous in comparison. Icky is actually progressing from ego to superego, long before normal children do." He explained what those were. "And that's it for my analysis. Now for deductions."

"Okay?"

"I cannot stress to you enough how important it is that you don't slack off on helping Yuudai. Children with autism require constant attention. Repetition, repetition, repetition. Patience. Understanding. And above all, resolve. Most especially since it isn't just possible autism, but also the fact that his personality might never go beyond the stage of id. Ever. He's small, still. Unfamiliar with the world, and thus ignorant of his place in it. Which means he has no idea that he's at the pinnacle of human development. Top of the food chain. He doesn't _know_ that in a few short months he can't be stopped. He can still be intimidated, as shown when you roared at him. Because he doesn't know himself. He only knows power. That he was more powerful than Hinata. And for a while, though I'm unclear as to the extent of your upgrade here, I think you are more powerful than him. For now. But that's why now is the only time you will be able to make an impression on him. While he's still weak enough to be taught and managed. Once he gets too powerful, you won't have a hope of controlling him. The only thing that will control him, or check him, is a relationship. An understanding of family. Right and wrong. I'm not too hopeful on that last, the id doesn't recognize these things, but if you can teach him that, then there's a chance. _That's_ how you help him."

Naruto nodded. "Means I got my work cut out for me. Thanks, Chou." He turned toward Icky.

Somewhat taken aback by Naruto's brusque attitude, Chou frowned. "Any time. Where's Sasuke? I know you said you had a fight-"

"Gone. He comes nowhere near this house. Understood?"

Chou's brows rose. "Okay, one, I'm not his guard or anything. Two, he's a lot stronger than I am. Three, unless I'm dumb, Icky's his kid too. Four-"

"You're right. Our problems aren't your problems. But he's not here. Sensed him leaving awhile back." Which puzzled him, now that he thought about it. He'd only ever felt Sachi and Madara vanish that way.

"Well, I was going to say he should be in on the parenting and stuff, but if he's not here…" Chou shrugged and turned for the door. "Mind if I start dinner?"

"Go ahead." He was looking at Icky. When the nursery door shut behind him, he carefully put Yuudai on the floor. He didn't move. Only stared around the room. Naruto went to the crib, where Icky was standing, and picked him up.

Icky stared at Yuudai.

"Icky?" The boy looked at him. "Can you talk to Yuudai?" Mindful of Chou's words, he said, "Yes?" with a nod. "Or no?" and shook his head.

Icky stared at Daddy Naruto and wondered how to answer. He knew how to do his head for yes and no, though he'd never done it. Never been asked to. But what to do for when he didn't know? He'd been trying. But getting into Yuudai's inside was impossible. Like there was no inside. Which was also impossible. Everymind had an inside. Everyperson had feels. He couldn't see Yuudai's feels. So Yuudai couldn't see his feels. He'd tried that too.

But he knew feels and insides had to be there. He really did, so that meant it was way down deep. Deeper than he knew how to go. So he thought maybe he could speak to Yuudai, but he had to learn how first. And he didn't know how to learn. He stared at Daddy Naruto.

"It's okay if you can't. Now that I think about it, most people don't communicate with their babies the way I'm asking, so it's fine. I'll just have to do this the hard way. Which is always the best way, in my book. The hard way usually means you're doing things the right way. And I can't mess this up. But let's start with the easy stuff, okay?" He sat cross-legged on the floor with Icky in his lap. Yuudai scuttled sideways. Looked at them without looking at them.

Naruto studied how he moved. So fast. Total control of his arms and legs. "Yuudai."

No response.

"Hyuuga Yuudai."

Still nothing.

"Beast."

A head tilt, but still no eye contact.

"Fuck me." He narrowed his eyes. "Yuudai." Nothing. "Beast." A blink. He tried to think why this should be. Thought back to the first time he'd said Yuudai's name to him.

Once, a lifetime ago, he'd asked Kiba how he'd trained Akamaru to be so smart and respond to stuff. Kiba'd said that to train any dog you had to say commands while demonstrating an action. Then reward obedience with a treat. Ninja hounds weren't that different. Naruto hadn't done anything when he'd told Yuudai what his name was, but he had just hit the kid when he'd called him a beast. He'd thought Yuudai was unconscious, but if he'd been awake enough to hear his mutter, that would explain his response to it.

Using this theory, he touched Icky. "Ikioi. Icky."

Yuudai looked at the floor in front of Icky.

He touched his chest. "Naruto. Daddy."

He looked at Naruto's hand.

"Icky," Naruto said. Yuudai looked at Icky's foot. "Daddy." A glance at Naruto's chest.

 _He can learn. It's a start._

* * *

Sasuke lay choking on a wet, rocky surface. His head was still splitting open, but he took note of two moons in the sky. Two. And the sky itself red. It hurt to move his eyes, but he brought his gaze down and saw mountains and fissures of black rock. The moisture oozed up from below the ground. Steam hung in the air, and he was indeed hot. So hot. There was no oxygen. The steam was toxic. When he turned over he saw a sun, also red, that filled the horizon. So terrified was he that he vanished again-

-and this time came out in a desert. Blinked-

and he was in a forest. Yelled-

-this time it was a cave.

A road.

A valley.

The shack in the forest.

One of Orochimaru's hideouts.

Akatsuki's base.

Konoha.

He saw Shikamaru and Ino at the same moment he realized that he was getting control of this thing. The same moment he realized that they were in a house, poring over a scroll with him outside the window, and that there was an assassin sneaking up on them from another room. Didn't they hear him? Sense him? _He_ could see him, why couldn't they? Then he saw the _Genjutsu_ around them. How it had been tailored to bypass Ino's mind specifically. Saw the raised kunai, raised his hand to warn them, but suddenly the house was no longer there. He, Ino, and Shikamaru were drowning in water, surfacing, spluttering, going under, moving, rolling, tumbling toward the edge of a massive waterfall.

Ino saw him. "Ssss….hey!" She waved frantically, but was swept under by the rapids.

 _Why didn't they just use chakra?_ He thought. He stood on the roiling surface, but then a tree limb knocked him off his feet.

They went over. He was free falling, hearing their screams, but unable to see them-

-and then he was in what was left of the original Hakumeigakure. Familiar landmarks. He dropped to his knees. Felt his heart racing. Noted that whatever he'd been doing, teleporting in that manner, had put a hideous strain on his body. He was weak as a kitten.

There was a pool of water beneath his hand. He stared at his reflection. At seeing his eyes, he said a soft and confused "Fuck" right before he passed out.

* * *

After identifying himself and Icky, Naruto presented Beast, as he now called him, with a bottle. Beast only stared at it. Naruto gave the bottle to Icky, who understood what was going on and obediently put the nipple in his mouth. He sucked on it a few times, then shakily passed the bottle to Beast.

Beast scuttled forward. Sniffed the nipple. Smashed the bottle to pieces with a blow of his hand. Continued to bash the broken glass and splash milk.

Naruto caught the little hand and examined it. Not a single cut. To be sure, he picked up a shard of glass and drew it across Beast's palm. Beast, Icky, and Naruto all watched. The glass left no mark. He tried again, pressing harder. The skin dimpled, but didn't break. He turned the shard point first to the palm he held and pressed down. Pressed harder, until at last he was rewarded with blood, but the shard broke.

All three of them saw the point reverse itself out of Beast's skin. The blood that welled up now _fwipped_ back inside, and the small gash closed up with a tiny glow of chakra. Beast made no sound.

Picking up another shard, Naruto cut his own palm and showed this to Beast. The boy looked, then went back to splashing in the milk. Naruto poked Icky with the shard on his leg. Icky gave a hum of surprise. A cry of distress.

Beast went nuts.

 _So he's aware of Icky even if he's not showing interest in him,_ he thought as he braced himself.

Beast launched himself at Naruto's head, chakra positively filling the room. Naruto resisted with the chakra cloak he got up in the nick of time, and sent the boy crashing against the far wall. Beast rebounded, but checked himself. He crouched low, eyes glowing and narrowed at Naruto, but went to Icky instead, who was crying in earnest now. He bent and sniffed the blood. Put his nose directly on it. A moment later the puncture was gone, though the blood remained. Icky grew silent. Looked at where Beast now rocked to a sitting position in front of him. Icky lunged forward and touched his face. On the mouth, where blood was smeared.

Naruto was primed and ready to intervene should Beast try to attack Icky, but all he did was close his eyes at the touch. He made the first sound Naruto could remember hearing that wasn't animalistic. Some kind of lip smacking. Beast opened his eyes and touched Icky's mouth. Then his face. Then he scooted forward and threw himself on Icky. Rolling and pushing him, squeezing his flesh with his strong little hands. Icky cried in pain.

Naruto snatched Beast off of him. "Okay, no. _No_." Beast strained toward Icky, who was still crying. Naruto worked at not dropping him. "Stop!" He threw him down hard in frustration. Smacked him down even harder when the boy jumped back up at him. He held him down with one foot.

Beast rolled away, looked at him, then went straight for Icky.

And that went on for the rest of the day.

* * *

Sasuke rolled to his back and blinked at the sky. That made his eyes water so he closed them. He didn't think he'd been out too long. His skin wasn't burnt. He wasn't precisely comfortable, but neither was he uncomfortable. He lay thinking.

He was at a fork. Interesting.

Only one other time in his life had he been presented with a choice between two paths. Well twice, but the business in the forest with Naruto and going back to he village didn't count. One time only. When Itachi laid the path of vengeance before him he'd walked it with utter conviction. _Nothing_ could have dissuaded him from that path. But something had. Naruto. So compelling was Naruto that he'd counterbalanced the weight of revenge he'd carried in his heart. It had gotten so that the choice was either stay or leave the village. A choice, in hindsight, that had been easy. No matter how compelling, no one person came before his clan. Or his brother. But now…

Choice one: Stand with Naruto.

Choice two: Kill Naruto.

Choice one was too painful to think about, but choice two had possibilities. Many pros. Such as the fact that if Naruto was dead he'd never again be able to take his son away. He wouldn't have to look at Naruto and see Hinata between them. And Naruto couldn't see him as contemptuous if he was dead.

Most of all, most importantly, he wanted Naruto dead because he hated him.

There. It was out. The thing choking him for months now. Since Kyuubi. He _hated_ Naruto. The relief of admitting it had tears flooding his eyes and a sob escaping him. Now that he was looking it in the face, he could appreciate that it had taken watching Naruto walk away with their son for him to admit it. He didn't just hate Naruto, but everything that had happened. The pregnancy. Kyuubi. The rape. Hinata. Yuudai. He hated all of it and he was done, he decided. _Done_. He wanted Naruto dead, Yuudai dead, the world _dead_.

But he remembered what it'd felt like when Naruto _was_ dead. He hadn't been able to go on himself.

Hn.

No. That was different. Yet on the heels of that thought came the memory of killing his brother. He'd felt…good. Accomplished. Vindicated. Until he'd learned the truth. He hated Naruto now, but that was a thin layer covering the depth of his love for him. More than love. There was no word for Naruto. He couldn't liken him to the blood and bones in his body anymore. Or to the air that sustained him, or the food and drink he needed to live, or the soul that animated him. These were paltry comparisons. There was no language, no concept in mortal existence that he could equate with the meaning of Naruto. He was simply Naruto. He was everything. All. Absolute. Could he really kill him?

 _Then why did you sleep with Hinata?_

For all the reasons Naruto said. But also because, at seeing what Naruto'd done to her, to the sanctity of their own union, he'd never hated Naruto so much. The hate had been growing with Kyuubi, but the rape had set it free.

Oh yes. He wanted Naruto dead. He spent a long time reveling in bloody images of this happening. The thoughts soothed the deep hurt left by Naruto. For months now, a year, all the man had done was take things from him. His dignity. His confidence. Their relationship. Now Naruto's love for him was gone. And finally his son. His family was gone. He'd lost everything. Again. He'd wanted to kill the first time it happened, and he had. He would find it in him to kill this time too.

It was only much later that he set that choice aside—carefully, as of something precious—in favor of contemplating the first choice. As soon as he did, he felt his eyes sting again.

It just wasn't Naruto anymore. Not the person he knew, who was everything to him. Maybe he'd thought so for a minute at the funeral, but that was before the man had taken his son. So what was he still so in love with? A memory? Was there really no hope for them as a unit anymore?

It was all moot, anyway. Whether or not he could let Naruto go was meaningless since Naruto was already gone. The one and only reason he would go back would be for Icky. He wasn't leaving his son. He just wanted to be sure of whether or not he'd be killing Naruto when he went back for him. But as he thought about it, about all the years ahead of him, he knew he would not be able to suffer Naruto to live. The wounds were too deep. Vengeance called to him once again, and the call was sweet. It soothed his hurt. A reckoning needed to be made. Wrongs made right. Justice. There was no choice. He saw that now. He was going to kill Naruto. When the time was right.

* * *

Chou looked out the kitchen window a week later and shook his head at the tall, steel structure that now stood in the village square. Sunlight glinted off of it hard enough to make him squint. He dropped the curtain and carried the plate of ham and eggs he was holding to where Naruto lay snoring and drooling at the head of the table.

He was worried. When Naruto wasn't closeted in that structure or off training the boys miles away, he was upstairs in his room. He hadn't spoken much during the past week. This was the first time he'd come down for breakfast, and that was only because he'd spent an hour outside Naruto's door, begging him to. He knew whatever Naruto was doing with the boys was killing him. But beyond that he didn't think Naruto was doing too well. He was surly. Preferred to be alone. Never smiled anymore. Sat brooding on the rare times he'd been seen outside his room.

Chou sighed. Nothing he could do except be here for him when or if Naruto chose to talk. He set the plate by his head.

The smell of food woke him. Without opening his yes, Naruto said, "Chou. I love you. Marry me and raise my demons."

"I like girls. So they're both demons now? Haven't seen either of them since that thing appeared." He sat at the other end of the table.

Naruto scrubbed his hands down his face and stared at the food. "That _thing_ is the only way I'm maintaining my sanity. You saw what they did to their room."

"Chill. I'm not objecting to you imprisoning them in that steel box. How goes it, anyway?"

Naruto snorted. "Icky's really opening up with Beast around. Like, all that stuff you told me? Sign language, responding to shit…he's doing it with Beast. After that first time he doesn't let Beast hurt him, either. I don't think he understood that Beast _could_ hurt him, but now that he does, he simply vanishes if Beast gets too rough. He's got that down pat now. What scares me is he'll stay gone. Beast will scream and howl until my ears are bleeding. Icky comes back, and Beast is all good, ready to play nice. He learns, that little shit. But he learns on his terms. And that turn-taking shit? Wish you'd never told me about that."

"Why?"

"I made a clone. Beast made a clone. Then Icky, seeing Beast, makes fifty clones. Beast did a hundred. They kept one-upping each other until I made five thousand fucking Sage Mode clones who then put the fear of God into them. They were angels for twenty minutes. I tried again. This time I did something small. Probably shouldn't have done this particular thing, but I honestly don't know Genin level crap. And it's my kids we're talking about."

Chou sipped his coffee. This was the first report he was hearing. He was riveted. "What'd you do?"

"I Summoned a toad. Tiny little thing, hardly bigger than a tadpole. Knew my name and everything. Greeted me in this squeaky little voice, said he was 'Kichi's youngest. Know what Beast did?"

Chou thought back to the apocalyptic sounds that reached the village two days ago. "No. What?"

A few tears actually slipped free as Naruto remembered the incident. They weren't happy tears, but a real expression of Naruto reaching his limit. "Asshole pinches his hand, bleeds, and puts his hand on the floor. Fucking _Gamabunta_ _himself_ and all his fattest kids, 'Kichi included, appeared. And get this! While 'Bunta is reaming me about my kid, he tells me the whole of Myoubokuzou mountain nearly cracked in two at the force of the chakra that Summoned them. Said he and his won't answer my call ever again if my brat calls them. But Icky!" Naruto scrunched his face, but the tears came harder. "After all that, just when I thought shit had calmed down, Icky goes and Summons every fucking thing Pain's Animal Path ever Summoned, huh? _EVERY FUCKING THING._ " Naruto was now crying for real, wiping his face. He dropped his head into the same hand in a fit of exhaustion.

Chou was at once fascinated and sympathetic. Having seen tears on more than one occasion from Naruto now, he had an idea that the man nevertheless didn't cry easily. It took a lot to bring him to this point.

Naruto continued speaking. "Had the _Rinnegan_ eyes on to do it, Icky did. My first time seeing them on him in person. When I mentioned it to him, he blinked and they were gone. Couldn't bring them out again. Can you kill me please? I won't come back this time, I promise."

Somehow he didn't think Naruto was joking about his request. That disturbed him. "I guess it's good you took them outside the village to do those things, huh?"

Naruto now turned to his food. "They keep playing the game. Beast saw the _Rinnegan_ and came out with those eyes he was born with. You're right. He has _Byakugan_. He did it, then Icky did. Beast flattened a forest a few hundred miles away, Icky does the same thing. Icky shot lightning into the air, Beast only stared. Then made that lightning storm I thought would kill us. Took a thousand clones to rebuild those buildings. I'm not going to last a month."

"Makes you wish you had another strong person around. To co-parent. Like maybe-"

"Hey, I proposed, you turned me down."

"-Sasuke. As if I'm anywhere near as strong as you are."

"Right. You're about ten times stronger. And that's with me in chakra mode."

Chou rolled his eyes. "You always joke about my strength."

Naruto finished the last of his egg and reached for the jug of water sitting between them. Held it as he frowned at Chou. "Why do you always make light of it?"

"Because it's nothing special?"

"Nothing special." Naruto pushed the water aside. "Your chakra is comparable to a tailed beast, do you know that? And your _strength?_ Let's arm wrestle one of these days."

"Whatever. Is Yu…Beast eating yet?"

"He tried a bottle. Swallowed the nipple. Next time he tried, he bit the bottle to pieces. No teeth, mind you. So I held his nose and poured the shit down his throat."

"My God, Naruto-"

"Kept it down for all of five minutes, then threw it up. He kept some water down."

"Hm. I'll see if I can mix him a weaker batch of milk. He might be intolerant to the stuff. Which reminds me. I meant to tell you in my report that Icky needs to be introduced to solid foods sometime soon. Beast might too, given his physical development. I'll handle that. What's next?"

"For them?" Naruto got up to put his plate in the sink. Leaned his hands on the edge. "Feel like I'm losing my mind. Tried putting a diaper on Beast, he ripped the thing off. Same thing for clothes. Either he tears them off his body or his chakra does. Still not shitting. Doesn't sleep. At all. Icky stays up with him most of the time. And Icky's talking now. Verbalizing like you said. Baby gibberish, but still. Talks at Beast non-stop, but Beast stays silent. Still no eye contact. Which reminds me. I told you how he went apeshit when I cut Icky? Doesn't that mean he has a relationship with him? Cares about him, at least?"

"Sounds like he's aware of the genetic connection. On some level he knows or feels that Icky is kin."

" _I'm_ kin. _I'm_ not getting such consideration."

"Kin as in sharing Kyuubi's chakra, I think."

"I have Kyuubi himself! And Icky doesn't have his chakra anymore."

Chou shrugged.

"God. I wish-" He stopped himself. Angrily washed his plate.

Chou fiddled with his mug. "You could always go look for him," he said quietly.

Naruto left the house.

-oOo-

The steel containment unit, which he fondly thought of as the hellbox, had one entry point. He'd sealed it with his chakra, but it really didn't do much for some of their higher abilities. Like vanishing. Should probably just be grateful that they elected to stay in the ting when he wasn't with them. He entered now, waited until the door _whooshed_ shut behind him, then opened the second door inside and surveyed the interior.

It was basically seven levels of play. Toys, elements, practice dummies. Everything he could think of. The bottom-most level, where he stood, was dedicated to sleep. Here was where he left the boys each night, with ten Sage Mode Kyuubi clones. Each morning saw Icky happy to greet him, and Beast destroying yet another apparatus.

This morning was different.

Icky was crouched on all fours. He'd begun crawling two days ago, but that wasn't what was different. He was waiting for Naruto, and hailed him with a grin. Beast was crouched next to him. Waiting. Not smiling, but with a look Naruto could only describe as one of accomplishment. Icky pointed. Naruto looked where indicated and saw a steaming coil of shit. Icky sat down and clapped. Pointed to Beast, who grunted in acknowledgement, and clapped.

As if that wasn't enough, Beast jumped at him and had him dropping the bottles he'd brought. Beast grabbed one, broke it, roared in frustration, then tried for another. It cracked in his grip. The milk leaked out. Naruto watched as Beast tried to lick this and failed. The bottle was soon thrown against the wall. Naruto stooped and rescued one of the ones still intact. He had to wrinkle his nose at the shit smeared all over Beast's butt and legs, but he held the bottle to his mouth and waited for him to latch on. Beast did so carefully this time. He sucked just as carefully, and Naruto watched the milk disappear in three long pulls. Beast looked at the empty bottle, at Naruto, at the bottle.

He was able to shield himself from the tantrum that followed and sent one of the clones to Chou for more milk. The day was pretty much a blur from that point on.

* * *

It took another day for Chou to come up with a solution, "Baby bottles don't contain enough for him to eat, nor are they strong enough to withstand him. He needs a calf nursing bottle."

"A what?"

"Something they feed baby cows with. Nipples are stronger, and you can get some that hold three quarts."

A toad filled the order. Naruto watched Chou pour warm milk into five huge bottles. "I can't even drink that much. We'll need more powdered milk at this rate."

"My guess is his body is going through something like you said yours did when you were pregnant. Burning off a ton of energy. You said since he's been eliminating he's getting weaker?"

"Yeah."

"He's showing signs of fatigue, then. Becoming less able to regulate his metabolism. It's taken him awhile, but it was bound to happen sooner or later. Right, so he might not drink all five, but I'm betting he'll down more than one. Best to be safe."

Naruto presented Beast, who was now more listless than he'd ever seen him, with the first of the bottles. And he only did this after putting a diaper on him. The boy took to the sturdier nipple with obvious gratitude; he whimpered in greed as he downed the milk in minutes. Burped. Naruto shoved another bottle into his mouth. Beast caught on and held it himself, tipping his head back. His eyes were half closed in bliss. Milk dribbled from the corner of his mouth. Icky watched while drinking his own bottle.

Three and a half calf bottles later, Beast filled his diaper till it overflowed, causing Naruto to curse. That went on for a few minutes. When the episode was over, Naruto cleaned the mess, bathed Beast on an upper level, and put clothes on him. To his shock, Beast yawned and crawled down to Icky's sleeping area. He was out like a light the second his head touched the mattress. Icky curled up next to him and was soon snoring.

It was the best day since before the little brat had shown up. Especially since Beast slept a solid twenty-four hours. Icky slept with him.

* * *

Naruto left the clones with them and enjoyed the quiet. The freedom. He slept himself. Woke up, and they were still sleeping. He settled into one of the armchairs that seemed to be present in every room, including his own, and let his mind wander.

The past two weeks had been chock full of baby not-fun, but now that he had a moment to think, the first thing to pop into his mind was Sasuke. That twice-damned motherfucker had actually left the area. _You did tell him to._ Didn't mean he thought he'd actually do it. _Ohhh, fuck Sasuke._ He crossed his ankles in irritation.

He'd been doing good. Better than good. Not a thought about the guy. Too focused on the kids. Didn't mean he hadn't missed him. That pain was constant. But he ignored it. And he ignored it now. Fuck Uchiha Sasuke. Fuck him, fuck him, _fuck_ him. He glared at the ceiling. _I'm not thinking about him. I'm not._ Then he crawled in bed and went back to sleep.

* * *

Beast woke up after a solid day of sleep raring to go. Icky sat eating the pureed rice and bananas a clone fed him, but Naruto stood with hands on hips and watched as Beast ran up one side of the hellbox, and down another. Jumped higher and higher, until he could smack the ceiling before coming down. He did crazy leaps from floor to walls and back that left dents in the five-foot-thick steel. On and on that went, faster and faster.

Naruto shot from the ground and snagged him mid-air. Landed with the kid kicking and struggling. He slammed him down. Had to repeat the process several times. A few of those times, Beast would jump at him and he'd punch the kid back, fully loaded with chakra. Simply asking Beast to do anything was out of the question. Naruto finally yanked him by the hair and swung him to the floor. Knelt on him and growled for good measure.

And this happened every day, often many times during the day.

When Beast decided he was ready to behave, Naruto hauled him up to be changed and bathed, then landed with him down on the ground floor, where a clone held out a huge bowl of rice and bananas and the five calf bottles. Icky was on his bottle by now.

This wasn't Beast's first time encountering solid food. Naruto fed him himself. The clones never lasted long against the kid. Beast took the first spoonful and bit the spoon out of shape. Knocked the bowl away, where it banged Naruto in the face. Typical. He ignored the nosebleed and wearily sent a clone for more food. Beast reached for the bottles, but Naruto kept them out of reach. Closed his eyes at the scream that erupted. Kept them closed until he could tolerate it no more and slapped Beast repeatedly until he was silent.

New batch of food arrived. But this time Chou brought it.

Naruto punched Beast at being bitten. Chou, standing by the door, came forward. "Your clone told me what was going on."

"You never come in here." Naruto swiped a thumb at his nose and looked at the blood. "Thought you said it wasn't safe?"

Chou studied Naruto's dead eyes. There was a lot he wanted to say, but he didn't think it would be heard. "I-"

Beast leapt for the bottles again. Naruto, patience gone, went after him with _Rasengan_. Chou put a hand out and grabbed Naruto's shoulder. Naruto swung towards him.

"I think you need a break," Chou said. "Let me sit with the boys today. You don't seem to be having any luck feeding Beast."

"Thought you weren't strong enough?" Naruto clenched his fist and _Rasengan_ vanished. He put a sneer on his face that he could tell hurt Chou's feelings, but he didn't care. Before Chou could answer, he stormed out of the hellbox.

-oOo-

Chou noted the three remaining clones, but turned to find Beast on his second bottle. He waited until it was finished, then plucked him from the floor before he could get his hands on a third. Sat him in his lap. He felt a probe at his mind, but his chakra sufficed to keep him insulated from any _Genjutsu_. Beast did indeed try to get away, but Chou held him a certain way, non-aggressively, so that the boy was immobile. Beast became still.

There was a way to feed reluctant eaters when they were this young. Chou got the first spoonful of pureed rice into Beast's mouth and slipped the spoon free before the boy could react. Beast wrinkled his face, exploring this new texture with tongue and lips. Swallowed. The frown smoothed out. He tried to grab the spoon, but Chou had his hands pinned. Beast grunted at the bowl. Chou gave him bananas this time.

It took a few times, but Beast soon learned to eat from the spoon. His appetite was tremendous. Chou was soon scraping the bowl clean. He fetched the third bottle for Beast, who latched onto it.

"There now," Chou crooned once both boys were fed and diapered. "That's much better, isn't it? I don't think your daddy grasps the concept of more flies with honey. Think I'll speak to him about letting me do feeding time from now on." As well as a few other things. The way Naruto went about helping Beast was cause for concern.

* * *

It was days before his strength returned. When it did, he spent time gathering rocks of sufficient size that he then shaped into blocks with lightning. These he used to build a windowless one-room structure. A couple of leftover blocks served as a chair and modified table. Done, he placed his hand on the wall and released fire, melding the blocks together in a seamless unit.

The following day saw him hunt down a polar bear and some kind of bird that must only come around in summer. Ate for the first time in days. Skinned the bear. Prepped the hide, then set it on the roof to dry. That took another couple of days, during which he gathered more food. Plenty of rabbit and fowl for him to eat now, seeing as it _was_ summer. When the hide was done, he snatched it down, rolled himself in it, and went into his house. He didn't come out again.

* * *

Sakura wiped sweat from her brow, but didn't slow down. Chakra use was only allowed every four hours. She was running on her own steam now, and nearing her body's limits. Weeks of the same grueling pace had her muscles quivering almost nonstop. And she was a seasoned ninja. She felt for those in her party who weren't.

She couldn't stop. The procurement was right at her heels. She glanced aside at Kiba, who was keeping pace with her. "Take Akamaru. Go on ahead. Find him. Warn him. Tell him we're coming."

Kiba didn't waste energy on a reply, just urged Akamaru on faster. She watched them pull ahead until they were out of sight.

-oOo-

He could smell him long before he arrived at the coordinates. More, he could smell Naruto. Fresh, too. And another individual that he couldn't decide was male or female. He smelled something else, something young, but extremely powerful. Maybe that was the kid?

Akamaru slowed to a walk.

When he arrived, it was to find a single mean structure sitting in the center of destruction. His nose told him that Sasuke was in that house-thing. He stopped a hundred yards from it. "Hello?" Nothing. He cupped a hand to his mouth and tried again. "Yo! It's Kiba!"

No answer.

Senses thrown wide, he dismounted and told Akamaru to stay put. Moved forward on his own. Cautiously. Sniffing hard the whole time. Still smelled like Sasuke. He smelled awake. Aware. If some force was preventing Sasuke from answering or coming out, he would be ready…but he didn't sense anything apart from Sasuke himself.

He stopped just short of the doorway. The sun blazed overhead which made the interior pitch black. The area between his shoulders was tight; he was being watched by someone putting out a ton of adrenaline. There was anger past that doorway. Rage. If Sasuke was in there, he wasn't feeling remotely friendly. He stared inside. Stared until he could make out two hooded eyes gleaming at him in the dark. The suggestion of Sasuke's pale face. "Sakura sent me on ahead. The procurement…the armies, I mean, they're right behind her. But the village is on your side. We came. All of us. So they're not getting your k…your, uh, your _puppy_ if we can help it, okay? Dude, say something. Where _is_ your pup?"

"With Naruto."

The voice was a lifeless murmur that sent a shiver down Kiba's spine. Before he could ask whether or not that meant the kid was dead too, there was movement inside. Kiba braced himself. Sasuke stepped to the doorway and into the light. Kiba saw his eyes and opened his mouth to yell…but the world went away. The last thing he was aware of was Akamaru barking furiously.

* * *

Chou took several deep breaths before knocking on the door. "Naruto?"

"What."

"I'd like to talk to you, if that's all right?"

"No. Maybe later."

"Okay." He paused. Considered going home. "It's just that this is kind of important."

"Kids fine?"

"What? Yes. I spent the day with them. Went over simple commands. I think Yuu…Beast is beginning to understand the word no. But this isn't what I want to talk about. I-"

"Yeah, I'm going to bed. Tomorrow, Chou. Thanks."

Chou briefly put his head against Naruto's door, but turned and went downstairs. Sometimes he went to the house next door, his new home. Sometimes he stayed here. Tonight he went home.

He liked his place. Only two stories, as opposed to Naruto's three, but the rooms were spacious. High ceilings. Few structures had the ability to make him feel comfortable. Most left him feeling cramped. Like he was too big. The second day here, Naruto had been kind enough to have one of the toads get him a specially crafted bed. Extra long, extra wide. Steel frame. Wonderfully firm mattress, complete with custom sheets and bedding. He crawled in now and sighed.

He wished he knew how to help Naruto. Tried thinking of ways to get through to him, but those kids really were exhausting. He went to sleep.

* * *

Akamaru met them when they were less than an hour from the coordinates, running flat out and barking madly. Tsume heard and pushed to the fore. Listened to Akamaru. When she turned to Sakura's tense face it was with murder in her eye. "Sasuke's taken my son. Akamaru says he can detect their scent nowhere. They cannot be followed or tracked. _What is the meaning of this?"_

Sakura clenched her hands, causing her gloves to stretch and creak over her knuckles. She longed to punch something. "I have no idea. But I intend to find out." She was sick and tired of shit going wrong. She could all but feel the procurement gaining on them. "Let's get to the coordinates ourselves first. Might be something there we can interpret." _That Akamaru couldn't_.

-oOo-

The coordinates afforded them little info beyond what Akamaru reported, though. Both Tsume and Kakashi said they smelled Naruto, a third individual, and an enemy of some sort. The destruction was noted and examined, and concluded as being the result of chakra. The rest of the elite landed around Sakura as she stood thinking. Konoha's former villagers were still an hour away.

"Thoughts?" Sakura said.

"No trail," Kakashi said. "They didn't walk or run from this location. I can smell Kiba and Sasuke both, at that house. Especially Sasuke. If they left this area it was in a manner I can't describe. Almost like…" He studied his shoes. "Like Madara. His scent would vanish just like this. Cut off abruptly."

"That makes no sense," Sakura frowned.

"Actually," Inoichi said as he stepped forward. "It does shed some light on a report I got from my daughter a few hours ago. She says she saw Sasuke. That she, Shikamaru, and Sasuke were somehow suddenly in a river, went over a waterfall. She later reported that she was no longer in Konoha. Preliminary assessment has them deep in Earth Country. Uninhabited area. And she says she saw Sasuke vanish as they were going over the fall."

Sakura stared at him. "I'm not sure I understand what you're saying. How did they leave Konoha? Why? How did they meet up with our friend? They were supposed to be gathering intel, we've yet to receive anything of significance from them."

Inoichi nodded. "I understand your confusion, but Ino is confused herself. I've looked at her memories directly, though. She and Shikamaru were looking at reports. I believe, though it's hard for me to tell, that they may have been in a _Genjutsu_. Tricky to detect second hand. There was a sensation I cannot describe, and then they were in the river. That's the best I can do, all I can lift from her mind. It could be, though, that the sensation I sensed was the act of them traveling from Konoha to the river in Earth Country. That would mean Sasuke was in Konoha. And moved them."

She was getting a headache. Rubbing her forehead, she thought longingly of her own house in Konoha. Her room. Her bed. Nothing more strenuous than showing up for work with Shisou and puzzling out the antidote for some new poison. Ugh.

"All right. I can't even think about Ino right now. I know it's relevant to what we have here but I just can't." She picked her head up and looked at each of them in turn. "For whatever reason, my friend is unreachable. No, Tsume, I'm sorry, but that's it. Kiba is lost to us right now. Akamaru says there was no…you-know-what. I have no idea what's going on, but I refuse to believe we came all this way, left our village, for nothing. No." She paused there to think. God, she was so fucking _tired_. "I need a fresh pair of eyes."

They watched her. Tsume's face was a thundercloud.

"Konohamaru!" Sakura barked.

He was no longer a part of the inner circle. Nevertheless, he appeared from where he'd been hanging back and knelt in front of her at once. "Yes."

She glared down at him. "Now's your chance to redeem yourself. Find me something. Anything that will help us. Time is of the essence."

He raised eyes to hers that promised he would die before failing…right before a thousand clones sprung into being. "Yes, _sir_." The clones scattered.

"Impressive," Kakashi muttered. "He's grown." He watched as the original Konohamaru jumped onto the little house and closed his eyes in concentration. Then he looked at Sakura. "Why him, though? He doesn't really need to redeem himself. He didn't actually do anything wrong. He was used, and killed the girl."

Sakura crossed her arms, also watching Konohamaru. "I know. But nothing anyone says to him will alleviate his guilt. He needs to feel like he's fixed the mess he thinks he made. Besides. He doesn't think like us. He's more like his precious Boss than anyone I know. I need that kind of resourcefulness right now. I can feel this whole situation going to hell in a hand basket."

-oOo-

Ninety minutes later, Konohamaru screamed and jumped off the house. He ran up to her with his lids drooping in fatigue, but a nevertheless wild expression of happiness on his face. Sakura silenced the Jounin talking amongst themselves to hear his report.

"Village two hundred miles away." He recited the exact coordinates. "Saw a huge-ass guy coming out of this steel building. Before he came out, one of the clones saw Boss through a house window. He's alive! Didn't see a kid, but Boss is _alive!"_

The news punched through her just as she was sure it was registering with everyone else. The villagers had caught up. They all heard. Gasps and exclamations made a dull roar in her ears as adrenaline flooded her senses. "You're sure?"

Konohamaru nodded. And now she could see the tears on his face.

She raised her voice in an unsteady shout, tears clouding her own eyes. "Move out! Chakra at full strength!" _Naruto. I'm coming._


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: My thanks to Gar who hauled me out of my hole, my funk, myself, and got my ass in gear to finish this chap and submit it today. he's my definition of awesome. To those who waited, my humblest apologies for the delay. I thank you just as humbly for your patience.

Onward.

* * *

Chapter 8

Important.

It was a new word. A new concept. When he heard it from Chou, he knew it was something. Something _hard_. Something _big_. Something _now_ , and _do_ , and _must_.

But he didn't know what it meant. So, like always, he concentrated on the feels Chou gave while saying this word and saying that it was _important_ for Daddy Naruto to help Yuudai. They were scary feels. Scared feels. He studied them for a long time, seeing the words Chou said as a squirming, squiggly mass of colors and _emotions_ (another new word, one that meant feels, apparently) moving just beneath Chou's skin. Mostly red. _Alert._ That was a word he lifted from Chou's mind when the feel he was seeing was one he didn't understand. Chou was afraid and alert. Because of Yuudai.

He couldn't see Yuudai's inside, but he could see Chou's. And right now, Chou's was full of his alert fear feels about Yuudai. He saw it all, took it all, examined it all, while Chou told Daddy Naruto that in a few short months Yuudai couldn't be stopped-

 _-No, that's not true-_

-and that the only thing that would help Yuudai was a _relationship_.

Daddy Naruto alone with him and Yuudai, now. Daddy was alert, but not afraid. His big, broad, thick feels were as solid and unmovable as ever. Sometimes there were bad feels, but mostly Daddy Naruto's feels stayed the same. Except there was some bad feels now, under the alert, about Daddy Sasuke. And Yuudai's daddy Hinata. He could feel Daddy Sasuke. Far away. He was okay. Not good, but okay. He'd wait for him to come back and not go to him because right now the important had to be known.

-oOo-

"The hard way usually means you're doing things the right way."

Getting at Yuudai's inside was hard. But he'd have to do it. Because _important_. Something _must_.

Yuudai. Beast. A look at Daddy Naruto's feels. A beast was like a toad or snake or some

thing with no mind. But no…those scary awful things his daddies brought _had_ minds. And feels. Which made them worse. Yuudai wasn't like those things. He wasn't scary awful, he was just…closed. No. He knew that word. Something closed could be opened. Yuudai wasn't locked either. He thought a locked thing could be unlocked. He had no word for something that just wasn't. Autistic made no sense to him. Everyperson could love people and talk. At least, he thought so. His daddies' mindpeople did. All of them. Yuudai was not a beast.

Past a certain point he couldn't understand Chou's mind, either. It was all words and feels that were big and far. That was okay. He had enough.

He tried to help Daddy Naruto. The bottle. The cut was ouch. His inside came out. Yuudai fixed it, but then Yuudai ouched him too. He was happy, but it was _ouch._ Mostly happy, though: Yuudai _could_ communicate. He just didn't know how either.

-oOo-

The playbox. Where they spent every day trying to learn, and he spent every minute trying to get at Yuudai's inside. The important was growing. Whatever it was, it was more than Chou said. He had Chou's feels and thoughts of Yuudai to guide him, and used this with half his inside, while keeping the other half focused on Daddy Naruto.

The first time he did the roof thing to get away from Yuudai's ouchy hands scared him: he didn't know doing that could keep him away in some dark airy space with no sound. He got back by accident, after going somewhere with dirty people and strange buildings. Then the clone. Yuudai did it. And seeing Yuudai do it made him understand how he could do it. Because Yuudai didn't do it like Daddy Naruto. Same result, different…. _method_. New word. New words came to him all the time now because he kept going through Chou's feels and thoughts. He did the clone. Not a nice feeling, but this was part of the important. And doing what Yuudai did helped him get to his inside. He thought it would. The more time he spent with Yuudai, the more he felt him. The _suggestion_ of his inside. It was there. He knew it. And once he made the clone he saw it was easy. Much easier than roofing. He matched Yuudai until his Daddy got mad. Daddy Naruto got mad a lot. He ouched Yuudai a lot too, except Yuudai didn't get ouch. He didn't know how he knew this, since he couldn't see his feels and insides, but ouch was not in Yuudai, ever. There was…understanding. Daddy Naruto had to ouch him a lot before a small understanding of _stop doing that_ came to Yuudai. He didn't know why he never just stopped when he heard the word stop. Yuudai understood his name, all their names. He understood powers too. Maybe because those were things he could see, and most of the words Daddy Naruto used had nothing Yuudai could see to connect them with.

Then the toad thing happened. He really didn't like that little toad thing his daddy brought. But when Yuudai did it, again in his own way kind of, he saw Yuudai wasn't afraid. Yuudai was not afraid of anything. He knew this too. Maybe it was okay? He didn't try to bring toads. He put the _jutsu_ in his mind and _executed_ it, feeling around in the nothing for whatever would come. _Hopefully_ not a toad. He was happy. It wasn't a toad. It was a lot of other stuff he sensed belonged to his eyes, but no toads.

Daddy Naruto wasn't happy.

The other stuff was fun. But it was fun — _exciting—_ because the more he did with Yuudai, the more he _sensed_ his inside. So many new words.

-oOo-

When Daddy Naruto was gone, he watched Yuudai whooshing around the playbox. He tried to follow, but he couldn't. He could only move slowly, _awkwardly._ His thoughts. He could put his thoughts, his mind, on top of Yuudai's head and follow him that way. He did this every night. Whoosh, whoosh, around the playbox, then _whoooooosh_ up to the ceiling. That was all Yuudai did. All day, unless they were training, and all night. Round and round. A big circle. Whoosh, whoosh, _whoooosh!_

It made the playbox go away. Not roofing away, just notseeing away. When that happened the only thing he could see and feel was Yuudai. His strong body. His whooshing. His-

 _Frustration_

-search. For something.

Whoosh, whoosh, _whoooosh!_ Whoosh, whoosh, _whoooosh!_ Round and round. Looking.

' _Yuudai? I feel you. Can you feel me?'_

Whoosh, whoosh, _WHOOOOSH!_

 _'What do you want? If you tell me, I can help.'_

Whoosh, whoosh, _WHOOOOSH!_

The important was growing. Bigger and heavier, but all Yuudai did was whoosh, whoosh, _whoooosh_.

-oOo-

Yuudai was tired. That day he made yuck on the floor. Ate. Sleeped. He lay next to him and the sense of his inside was very there for a moment. But then he was sleeping too.

-oOo-

Daddy ouched Yuudai a lot today. Chou came. Stayed. The whole day was "No, no, _no,_ Beast. No. Good boy."

Yuudai stopped whooshing. Stared at the nothing in front of Chou. Then Yuudai's inside, his mind, big and everywhere and trying to go into Chou, but Chou only blinked and put his chakra up. He made a _scream_ : Yuudai's mind! It was out! He could get it and see it and talk with it-

But it went back into Yuudai, and Yuudai went whoosh, whoosh, _whoooosh!_ until Chou left the playbox.

Important. What did that mean? Why was it? Something in Yuudai. After all this time, the best he could understand from Chou's thoughts was powers. When he thought of the word with himself or his daddies, it was just powers. When Chou thought of it with Yuudai it was POWERS. Stuff. The _couldn't be stopped_ stuff.

While Yuudai went whoosh, whoosh, _whoooosh_ today, Chou stood in a corner and also put his mind on Yuudai. He'd seen this, and put his mind on Chou's while it was on Yuudai's. Getting a look at the inside of Yuudai that Chou could see.

The fear alert went biggest and hardest and made Chou wet. Made his breaths fast. Made him scream inside his thoughts. Scream and scream and scream until he turned and left them with no clones at all.

IMPORTANT:

 _Okay. Now I can see it. A little. Oh. But…what is that. It's not a here thing. Yuudai's inside isn't here either. Why. It's here, not here. Out._

He had to push Chou's thoughts down a little to pull back enough to examine words and stuff he didn't understand. It was a very hard thing, this _outness_ , but after much ouch and time, he got it. Some.

 _So…this is a world. The sky and sun and water and toads and me and the foodmind and daddies and Chou and Yuudai…a world. Everything isn't every_ thing, _it's_ one _thing. A world. And there are other worlds. Other heres and theres and_ realities.

He got away from that word _reality_ quick. It was one of those things he couldn't understand no matter what.

 _Roofing is me going_ out. _Yuudai's mind sees these other places. He sees…things because of his eyes. He-_

He pushed Chou's thoughts all the way down. They ouched his head. He looked at Yuudai whooshing and arranged the thoughts himself —the _information_ —into something he could understand.

Yuudai's mind could see _out,_ but his eyes saw _in._ All the in of this world. His _senses_ were _overloaded_. _Confusing_ him. Which made the _autism_ worse. Or the _symptoms._

 _But why is this important. Why is this_ cannot be stopped.

He didn't know. And it didn't matter because he'd seen Yuudai's mind. And seeing it, he understood that he himself was two things: not strong enough, and not on the right… _frequency._ He could do the frequency. The strong part…

He tried. Tried pushing his feels at Yuudai on the new frequency—a much, much HARD OUCHING BAD FEELS frequency—but all that happened was nothing.

Whoosh, whoosh, _whoooosh!_

* * *

He listened to Chou's footsteps leaving his door. A surprisingly light tread for someone so large. Not for the first time he was rather thankful Chou wasn't ninja. To have that kind of strength, stealth, and intelligence honed into a deadly weapon put sweat on his brow. People that powerful tended to be corrupted by that power. But Chou was a sweetheart. His very own villager. He would have to treat him better. His own shit was no excuse to go alienating his only supporter.

Speaking of his own shit…

He'd begun doing it those few days he was away from the village after they'd arrived. Going back to Hinata's memories. While Chou was prepping Hinata's body. He didn't do it during what his body told him were daytime hours. And he hadn't done it the day Beast had finally gone to sleep. That was perhaps the longest he'd gone without doing it. He'd had to work at not even thinking about it, the same as he always did. He'd gotten really good at pretending nothing was going on with him except the break with Sasuke. Even to himself. Why, he didn't know. Wasn't like it was a major thing. So he thought about Hinata, so what? It was just that lately he'd begun feeling that maybe…well, maybe it was wrong. Sometimes it felt wrong. But it also felt so good. Sort of. Not really, but he needed it. And it didn't feel _bad_. He didn't know how it made him feel, only that it made his heart pound, and hurt less, and it kept him from thinking about Sasuke.

But now he thought maybe something was starting to be wrong with him. One day he woke up, thought of going into that hellbox, thought of _not_ thinking about Sasuke, and suddenly neither thought was there. Hinata was there. She never left his thoughts completely, but this was different. She'd come without him having to sit down and think about her. She'd been squarely in the front of his mind. The way she'd been in that dream place, right as she'd cupped his face to give him her memories. Not that same scene, but that same feeling. Her overwhelming presence and tangibility. He could smell her. Hear her. And then it was gone. But what it left behind was a much needed buffer between him and the real world. A numbness he welcomed quite apart from the solace he sought when he willingly thought of her.

After, the image of her would surface at really bad moments with Beast and take him away for a few seconds. Or whenever Sasuke's hateful, lying ass crept up on his thoughts. She'd be there to turn him around. He started seeking that feeling out, following the memory of that odd tangibility. He could never manage it. He could slip into her memories just fine, same as he always did, and that was good. But he wanted that other feeling. Somehow she felt more real. Not dead. And right then, when Chou knocked on his door and said he wanted to talk, he'd been within a hair's breadth of finally managing it. After days of failure. The feeling started to come, a swelling sense of impending _yes,_ and then Chou's fucking fist pounded the door.

He was gone now, though. He loved Chou, but shit. All he wanted was five minutes to himself.

 _Didn't you have all day to yourself?_ _Thanks to Chou?_

That had him staring up at the ceiling. He actually had to work to recall anything between the time he'd stormed out of the hellbox and the time Chou knocked. Yes, he'd been about to call up the feel of Hinata, but what had he been doing before?

He sat up. Looked at his pillow. It was dented by the shape of his head. He realized he'd come to his room this morning, flopped down, and hadn't moved a finger until just now.

 _I just lost ten hours of my life doing what. Daydreaming?_

Except he couldn't remember daydreaming. He remembered thinking of Hinata for a few minutes. Chou. That was it. His eyes stung.

His constant companions these days, rage and resentment, showed their faces all too eagerly, ready to comfort him out of despair. To wheedle him back to a sense of righteousness. So what if he thought of her? She was now safely beyond any harm he could do her. Or was this something else the world wanted to take from him? Well, it couldn't. He settled this fact with another flop onto his bed and punctuated it with a cross of his arms. Fuck the world and everyone in it.

 _Hinata._

* * *

Kiba stumbled and fell, scrambled to his feet, then whirled around. His eyes bulged at the featureless landscape. At the sky devoid of sun or moon. At the ground that seemed made of solid smoke, or cold flames. Whatever it was, it was in constant motion, as if wind moved the smoke or flames. The ground was black, the sky grey. "Shit!" His voice squeaked. "Where am I! What is this!"

Sasuke sauntered to a chair that materialized and took shape from the ground. "I don't know," he said. "But I think we'll stay here, out of the way, until the armies do their job." He sat.

Kiba forced himself into a semblance of calm. Controlled his breathing. Made himself go still as he stood before Sasuke and studied him. The guy wasn't even looking at him, but off to the side. Slouched down in his chair, head on one hand. He still smelled like rage. _Something's wrong with him._ "Why'd you bring me here?"

"Do you think they'll kill Naruto?"

"What…he's not dead?"

"No. Icky took care of that."

"What's an Icky?" _Keep him talking._

"They won't get Icky, of course. Pretty sure the kid will protect himself, but if they managed to kill Naruto, that's my job done for me. Though, now that I think about it, Icky might protect him. Hn. But if they did kill Naruto, all I'd have to do at that point is go and collect my son. To answer your question, I brought you here to wait out the action. You can sit."

Another chair appeared.

He turned to glance at it, and used this action to do some speedy thinking.

One, Sasuke probably had access to this place thanks to the new eyes he was sporting. Two, he had complete control over this place, as evidenced by the chairs. No hand seals, vocal commands, nothing. He was so screwed. Sasuke could be thinking about the ground rising up to strangle him and he wouldn't even know it. This place wasn't just devoid of visible features, but _any_ features. No smell. No sound. Nothing he could use to warn him or help him. Worse, Sasuke's smell now faded entirely, no doubt thanks to the nature of this place and Sasuke's freaky mind control over it. _Least Akamaru got away. He'll warn the others._

He sat. Chair felt exactly like it looked. Like smoke made solid. He tried hard not to shudder as he leaned his elbows on his knees and looked at Sasuke. God. To be in the presence of _those_ eyes… "So. Want to tell me what happened?"

"I don't know what you mean."

Why did all evil people have to be so fucking calm? It was creepy. "Well, let's see now. Last time I saw you, you were ready to take on Tsunade for Nnn…your partner's sake. Sorry, I can't say your name, your partner's name, or the kid's name, now that I know what his name is, so—AAGHGHGAHH!"

Sasuke watched Kiba scream on the floor for some seconds, rolling, coughing, and grabbing his throat.

"Guh. Huh. Fuck! Dude! The fuck did you just do to me!"

"Released that seal."

"…What?" Kiba crawled back to his chair. "Tsunade said that's impossible."

"Nothing is impossible. You just need enough power. Few have the power I now enjoy. Sorry for the pain."

 _Arrogant motherfucker._ He tested himself. "Sss…Sasuke. Holy shit. Naruto. Icky. Ha!"

Sasuke smirked.

"Woo!" Kiba now sat back. "Well, okay then! You're not completely evil. You unsealed me and apologized for the pain. I can work with that. Let's get back to what I was saying. You were ready to take on Tsunade for Naruto—God, it feels so good to fucking _talk_ again— and now you're talking about letting people kill him. About wanting to kill him yourself. Am I missing something? Clearly I am, because y'all were so in love that the dude went and got _pregnant_. Seriously, how _even_. You were ready to fight the whole world to keep him safe. Now that the whole world is coming for him, you're happy to sit back and let them? Why? What happened?"

"It's been a while since I've been around anyone besides Naruto. Forgot how annoying you are. I could kill you right here and now. Your body would never be found."

"Can you tell me the story first?"

"To what end?"

"Just want to know what happened. Come on, it's not like I can use what you tell me, right?" _Except to help you, and thus save myself, because clearly whatever happened has fucked your mind up good._ "So what's the big deal if you tell me? Really. You have total control over this place, and probably me, if that unsealing jutsu was any indication. Spill." He put one ankle on his knee in a show of ease.

Sasuke considered it. "Fine. And when I'm done you'll see I'm right to feel as I do. Not that I need your approval."

"Nah, of course you don't." He laced his fingers over his stomach. "You're going to do what you want to do. I can't stop you."

"No. You can't." He began with Tsunade's last night in the cabin.

* * *

He had a knack for sensing chakra.

Back at the station, he'd sensed the moment Naruto arrived. Had in fact already been in the process of opening the door when Naruto's unconscious body landed in a spray of broken ice. So when a multitude of chakra sources began approaching the village now, it didn't matter that he was asleep. Chou felt it loud and clear and opened his eyes.

-oOo-

Sakura was at the head of their procession when they arrived. She was, therefore, one of the first to spot the large man standing some hundred yards or so in front of the village entrance. She waved Konohamaru over. "That the guy you saw?"

"Yup."

She raised her fist in a signal for her advisors to keep everyone else back as she moved forward, taking in details the entire time. The height. The short sleeves despite the temperature. The chakra that could be felt, but which wasn't in play. The _amount_ of chakra—that had to be a mistake. The stance. Non-threatening, but definitely not welcoming. She put her own chakra away as she stopped a few feet away from him. He looked at her. At the villagers behind her. Back at her.

"I'm Haruno Sakura. We're formerly of Konohagakure. We've come to see our friend. To help him. It's imperative we speak to him right now. There are enemies behind us, enemies who want his…" She cursed the seal for what had to be the thousandth time.

Konohamaru stepped up. "Just in case you don't know what friend we're talking about, it's Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto. And the enemies are after his kid. We know he's here."

Chou looked back and forth between the girl and the boy. The girl was pretty. "I understand that and appreciate your urgency, but Naruto, who is _Hirukage_ of Hakumeigakure, hasn't informed me of any impending visitors. I can't let you pass."

Sakura put one hand on her hip. "You really think you can stop us? You're one person. We-"

Chakra bloomed from Chou in an enormous cloud, which then stretched behind him to cover the entire village in a shimmering dome.

Sakura's brows joined in a V.

 _Very pretty._ "I think I'll manage. I'm Chou, by the way. A pleasure to meet you." He smiled.

Sakura grit her teeth at the beauty of it.

* * *

The tale was done. "He _raped_ her?"

"Kyuubi did. In Naruto's body. I said that already. Don't make me repeat myself."

"Right. Sorry. Just can't believe it. And you! You fucked Hinata right after? You did," he quickly answered himself. "You said that too. And then…" He ran through it all in his mind, still unable to believe it. "Shit, man. _Shit_."

"What are your thoughts?"

"My thoughts? I'm thinking I would have been surprised if you did manage to stay together. Dude, what happened was _fucked_. But my thoughts. Okay. Gimme a minute."

He studied the ground, really considering what he wanted to say and how he wanted to say it. Sasuke was no longer smirking, so that was something. He _was_ still capable of feeling, if his frown of pain was any indication. He, too, was leaning forward with elbows on knees now. His voice had gone low and gruff less than halfway in. A whisper that was muddy with grief.

"First and foremost," he began, "the biggest mistake was for either of you to be so fucking isolated. Tsunade should never have sent you to that cabin, and most definitely should _never_ have taken us away. If ever there was a situation that needed the support of friends, this was it. None of what happened would have happened had she seen that. So I will never forgive her for that. But also for trying to kill Icky and Hinata. That can never be forgiven. She was my _Kage_. A woman I would willingly have laid down my life for. Now, if I ever see her again, I'll be hard-pressed not to go for her throat."

Sasuke choked back a sob, making him do a little forward-jerk on his chair, and Kiba thought _He's so broken. I can do this. I can help him if I'm careful._

"That's neither here nor there, though," he resumed. "I guess my first question is why? Why didn't you tell Naruto you'd slept with her? You told him about Sachi, which I still can't get over. So why, man?"

"Because I knew it was the one thing he wouldn't forgive. I cheated on him. Then I lied about it. You didn't see him the first time he asked me. His face. I'd just gotten him back from Kyuubi, you think I wanted to lose him again right after? Especially since I'd just disappeared for two weeks? I was still pissed that he'd raped her, anyway. I know it wasn't him, but you know what I mean."

"No. I don't. In our clan, when the rut is on us, our minds are gone. _Gone_. And that's with a single consciousness, our own, inhabiting our bodies. Naruto has a demon, Sasuke. That demon can and will take over sometimes. Or it used to. He's essentially two personalities. You're just lucky that you've been shacking up with the dominant one, the one in control."

No response.

"Look, man. Back when you had Orochimaru or whatever still inside you. If he'd come out and done some shit, would you have said that was still you?"

"Of course not. But that-"

"Nah. Same fucking thing here. It wasn't Naruto. I know it sucked what Kyuubi did to you. More than sucked, but it _was_ Kyuubi. Naruto'd kill himself before he hurt anyone he loved. You know that. You didn't see him those four years he chased you. Most of us didn't help him so we could save _you_. We did it so we could save him. He'd never do what Kyuubi did to you."

Sasuke kept his eyes closed.

"And about what Kyuubi did to you," Kiba said in a lower voice. "That's not shit you just get over. I know. There've been…a few instances in the clan where people in rut hurt loved ones or other people by mistake. Happened to me. I was ten. Wrong place at the wrong time. My fault. But it's not something you forget. Ever. Forgiving, well. That's another matter. My deal happened for about an hour. Big, hairy elder. Way stronger. Ruts are dangerous. You can get killed or end up killing, so I did what you did. Went along to survive. _Submitted_. To survive. It's all you can do. And after, I put it away. Your deal was much worse. You love Naruto, and Kyuubi's, well, Kyuubi. But I think you also have it in you to deal with that. And move on."

"I have."

"I know. Except you haven't. You hating Naruto? That's not moving on."

"And that's not from Kyuubi. It's from everything after."

 _You said you started hating him from Kyuubi, but I'll just leave it._ "Right. The way he changed."

"I know how much he loves me. Loved me. Saw what it did to him when the memories of Kyuubi and the rape came back to him. What he did to Icky…but he _died_ , Kiba. Naruto died, and I wish to God he hadn't. I wish that screaming, broken version of him had lived because _that_ I could have worked with. I could have brought him back to himself. I know it. Even though I used to tell myself I'd never be able to bring him back if he went dark, I think now that I could have. But when he died? The person Icky brought back just wasn't Naruto."

"And how would you feel if you had to shoulder all the guilt he says he's carrying around? How would you be?"

"I don't know."

"Well, I know Naruto. Better than you do, because I didn't leave the village for four years. I know he doesn't catch feelings for anyone. All he ever wanted was you, so to come back from the dead and the guilt of Kyuubi only to find that you'd cheated on him had to have sparked the change you're talking about." He moved to the edge of his seat and raised his hands as if grasping a ball. "It's not just that, though. Hinata, period. You two, you and Naruto I mean, were inviolate. Sacred. Never would I have believed someone could come between you two…then again, I could never have imagined the shit that went down up here. My point is, you two were a single unit. So it makes sense that if a change occurs in one half of the unit, the other half is going to change as a result. You get me?"

"You're saying it's my fault he changed."

"I'm saying never mind who's at fault. What matters is neither of you is the same. I can tell you one thing about him you might not have realized. I don't even need to see him to know it, either. Can tell from how you described him."

"What."

"You're not alpha anymore."

Sasuke looked at him for the first time in a long time. Confused. "What?"

"Top? That ain't you anymore. It's him. So part of the reason you can't connect with him is probably how you're approaching him. You're probably just as unrecognizable to him."

"I don't understand. How we fuck isn't something that changes or…or…"

"On the contrary. Alpha status _is_ subject to change. Nor is it solely about fucking. It's not necessarily about who's physically strongest, either. It's more about up here," he tapped his temple. "That's why I was so shocked at that housewarming party we threw for you guys, when you told me you were top. The Naruto I know doesn't bow for _shit_. The fact that he did for you told me he had perfect trust in you. And not too much in himself when it came to the relationship. You were leading there and he let you. That's gone. Trust is gone, his walls are _way_ up."

Sasuke looked aside. "Huh."

"But listen. I understand where you're coming from too. It's okay to hate him, man. If you love someone you're going to hate them sometimes. That's just love. Us? Inuzuka? Sheee-iit, you should see the way we tear each other up sometimes. And sometimes literally. But it's all part of the package. The bigger the love, the more violent the fights. The _uglier_ the fights. But that also means the bonds are that much stronger. You're like a dog that's been kicked one too many times by its owner. Dog is ready to turn on the owner but deep down it's still loyal. Still loves the owner. That never goes away. And that's you."

Those dangerous eyes narrowed. "I'm a dog?"

" _Loyal_. _Devoted_. In _spite_ of yourself."

Sasuke let out a breath and sat back. "I know I love him. But Kiba…I swear to you, I can't see his face or I will kill him. I mean it. I will."

"Even though you've admitted that what he did to you wasn't his fault?"

"He turned on me. He _left_ me. Took my son. He has to die."

 _This is what happens when ninja fall in love._ Kiba watched him dig a forefinger and thumb into his eyes.

* * *

Sakura left Chou guarding the village entrance to consult with her advisors. Konohamaru was present. "I need to get past him, and I don't think I can. I think he's strong. I mean obviously he is, look at that shield. When's the last time any of you has seen a one-man shield of that size and strength?" She shifted her shoulders, feeling the buzz and power of it hum through her bones. "Options. I'm open to suggestions, but I'm pretty sure we can overwhelm him with a dozen people. The right people. Our friend is in there and we _have_ to get to him. I didn't come all this way to be stopped by some asshole."

The elder Jounin frowned in thought. A few nodded. Konohamaru raised his hand.

"What," Sakura said.

"I say we talk to him."

All eyes turned to him. "Why? And say what? He's made his position clear. Look, Kon-"

Konohamaru spoke over her. "Why. Because Boss _is_ in there, which means he knows this person. Must trust this person. That guy only put that shield up to protect Boss, so I'm betting we can trust him too. I say one person goes up to him to explain the sitch. If he's the man Boss thinks he is, this guy will listen."

Sakura stared at him. Konohamaru dropped his eyes and took a step back. "Well said, Konohamaru. You are now the designated spokesperson. Get in there, get to your Boss, and bring him back out."

"Yes, sir." Konohamaru's face was red as he bowed low.

-oOo-

Chou watched the kid bound up to him. "Hello."

"'Sup. Name's Konohamaru. I know you want to protect Boss, I mean Naruto, but so do we. That's why we left the village. They wanted to kill his kid and we disagreed. A bunch of other villages are right behind us, looking to take that same kid, so we really need to warn him."

"Konohamaru, you sound sincere, but for all I know you could be the very ones trying to take Naruto's child." His eyes moved between Konohamaru and the villagers behind him.

"Fair enough. What can I say that will make you trust me?"

"Nothing. Unless Naruto himself tells me I can trust you, I won't. Period."

"Okay…what can I _do_ then."

Chou considered it. He was fairly certain Naruto could defend himself against the few hundred villagers before him. Most weren't in possession of defined chakra. However, there were quite a few who were. He saw a number of Hyuuga. Hinata had been Hyuuga. Perhaps this boy was telling the truth. If so, then Naruto was in sore need of more support. Something was going on with him whenever he was in his room, and something needed to be done about the way he handled his kids. He couldn't continue to be Hakumei's sole citizen. He needed help.

"I will let you in," he told Konohamaru, "If you let me put you to sleep. I will take you to Naruto. You better hope you're not lying to me."

"I'm not. And thank you. Just don't kill me, okay?"

"I won't." he reached for Konohamaru's head and neatly muzzled his senses. The boy went limp in his arms.

* * *

Sakura frowned at seeing this, but muttered to her advisors to stand down and await her command. "If he's not back in five minutes we storm this shield." She adjusted her gloves.

* * *

He woke up in a house, facing a door, with Chou standing beside him. "This is Naruto's room," Chou said. "He's in there. Said he was going to sleep."

Konohamaru knocked. No answer, so he tried the knob. The door swung inward, and he saw Boss for himself, stretched out on a queen size bed. Eyes wide open.

"Boss?" He put himself at the bedside and shook one shoulder. "It's me, Konohamaru. Best student ever. Gang's all here, so…Boss?" He shook harder. "Boss!" He turned wide, accusing eyes to Chou, who was coming into the room with a frown. "You did something to him!"

"No." He put a hand to Naruto's forehead. Narrowed his eyes in assessment. "I didn't. Clearly he's not sleeping…I'm not sure why he's unresponsive, though."

"Huh? What? What do you mean, what's wrong with him?"

"Just said I'm not sure."

"Did he get sick? I mean-"

"No. I saw him this morning. He's been in this room all day, but I spoke to him not too long ago."

Konohamaru stared up at him. "Boss wouldn't stay in one room all day long. Something's wrong. I have to get Sakura, that pink-haired lady you spoke to. She's a medic-"

"So am I." Chou finally moved his hand and looked at Konohamaru. "And I'm telling you, he's not sick. Not physically. Nor is this a coma. I can't wake him. It's like his chakra is holding him under."

"He's doing it to _himself?_ "

"So it would seem. Strange…"

Konohamaru stared at Naruto's face until he shook his head. "No. Fuck this. I know my Boss. Stand back, Chou _no_ _Niisan_. _Kage Bunshin no Jutsu._ "

"What—hey!"

" _RASENGAN!"_

Chou squawked and made a lunge for him, but he ducked and rammed the jutsu right at Boss's face.

Naruto's hand snapped up and grabbed Konohamaru's wrist. He blinked. Blinked again at the ceiling.

"Boss, goddammit!"

Naruto's eyes rolled down and sideways. Blinked again. "Huh. Sih...ffff. Ashtuh?" Another blink, the eyes sharpening. "Konohamaru?" Then comprehension animating his face as he looked at the wrist he was holding and back to Konohamaru's bobbing head. "The fuck?"

"It's me," he sobbed, wrenching himself free to throw himself at Naruto. Naruto was sitting up; he was momentarily flattened again. "We came, we thought you were dead, but you're not and we came to help save your kid and shit, and fight and, and, and you're _aliiiiiiiiive!_ God _,_ Boss!" The rest was lost in snot and tears on Naruto's tunic.

Naruto stared at Konohamaru's head.

"Naruto?" Chou tilted his head. "Can you hear me?"

"Yeah."

"Who am I?"

"Chou?"

"Who's that?"

"Sarutobi Konohamaru. My protégé."

"Of Konoha?"

"Yeah."

Chou stepped closer, until Naruto raised lifeless eyes to his, but switched to looking upward, at the ceiling. "Do you know a Haruno Sakura?"

Naruto squinted at the ceiling. "What _is_ that? Feels heavy."

"My shield. Naruto-"

"Sakura used to be on my team back home. She's my friend. One of my best."

"She's here. Along with a few others."

"Yeah." Naruto looked down again. Put a hand to Konohamaru's back in response to the ongoing hug and lingering sobs. "Knew they were on their way."

"I see. You don't seem excited."

"I'm not." Naruto finally took a breath. He seemed to settle into himself. Shake off the cobwebs of whatever daze he'd been in. "Yo." He pushed Konohamaru up and waited for him to swipe a hand beneath his nose. "Neji here? His uncle?"

"Yuh huh…why? Oh. Shit. Hinata. She really dead, man?"

Naruto stood up. "All right. Well." He rubbed his hands together. Gave himself a shake. "Let's get this over with."

* * *

Sakura was pacing directly in front of the village entrance. As close to that shield as she could stand to be. She'd put a chakra-covered hand out toward it once Chou'd gone, but the vibrations it gave off warned her against touching it. She settled for glaring at the street Chou'd disappeared on, and the huge steel rectangle rising like a fort from the village square. What was that thing? No windows, no sign. Just the metallic surface gleaming white in the sun and making her shift her eyes.

"There he is," Kakashi muttered at her elbow. And suddenly Neji and Hiashi were stepping up on her other side, _Byakugan_ trained on the three figures walking toward them. Walking. Not running. Sakura frowned. "Keep the villagers back until I find out what's going on."

Kakashi slid away. Her advisors came to stand beside her, but she gestured for them to hang back as well. The Hyuuga gave off silent warnings with a glance. _We're not going anywhere._ Sakura looked away in time to see Chou part the shield with a hand. Naruto and Konohamaru stepped out in front of her. Chou stayed behind, inside. Watching them.

Konohamaru's grin at her was savage. "Got him, sir!"

She stared up at Naruto. At the stranger who stared back at her, eyes hooded. No hug. No greeting. Face blank. Until Naruto turned from her and aimed himself at the Hyuuga. She was watching hard, and so saw the way his back straightened, before bending at a perfectly right angle in a bow that he didn't straighten from.

"Hiashi-sama. Neji." It was all he could manage. Those eyes. Full of rage and pain and a hundred questions.

Neji waited for his uncle to speak, as was correct, but no words came. Naruto didn't rise. Neji stepped forward and put a hand on Naruto's shoulder. Naruto flinched, but held strong. He squeezed. "It's okay, man." He swallowed. Put his head back, but the tears came anyway, like they always did. "If we know nothing else, we know it wasn't your fault."

Naruto dropped to his knees, bawling like a child, and put his forehead to Hiashi's feet.

Sakura watched all three of them become a mass of grief and clutching hands right there on the ground, before she pointedly turned toward Chou and marched over. "Put this shield down."

"I don't take orders from anyone but my _Kage_."

She stared up at him and tightened her fists where they were buried in her armpits. "What. Didn't he confirm to you who I am? Who we all are?"

"He confirmed you as his best friend, and the boy as his student. Nothing more."

"So let me in!"

"When he tells me to."

His voice was so damned calm. "Look. _Chou_. I'm tired. I'm really fucking tired. But I swear to God I will…" She closed her eyes. Inhaled. Tried a different approach. "Please let me in."

"I'm not sure what you want in here, when the one you came to see is out there with you, not fifteen feet away."

"I really want to punch you, Chou."

Chou gave that smile that made her vibrate in her core. "You're welcome to try just as soon as Naruto gives me the all clear."

The grief session was over. Naruto stood and she turned away from Chou's shiny teeth in disgust, ready to get some answers.

But Kakashi and the rest of her advisors were coming forward. All the friends who'd been at the cabin. Surrounding him. Hugging him. Clapping him on the back, exclaiming about his living status, asking questions. Naruto received and deflected as necessary, until he did a subtle step back and cleared his throat. "So what's going on?" he said.

Sakura had had enough. She was dangerously close to breaking her own arms, they were folded so tightly. "You might want to direct that question at me. I'm in charge."

He looked at her over one shoulder. "Okay? So answer."

It was an interesting thing to discover that certain heights of rage could threaten to release her seal. And at seeing the continued disinterest on Naruto's face she did nothing to check the possibility. "Can I talk to you in private a second?"

Naruto rolled his eyes. Sakura was now close to vomiting, her fury was so keen. Tears gathered in her eyes, but she followed Naruto along the shield, away from all the people looking at them. He stopped by a group of half-buried boulders, put his hands in his tunic sleeves, and rested a foot on one rock. "What," he said.

"What. Okay. That's how it is, then. I won't ask if you want to know why or how I'm here. I'm just going to tell you I have five armies at my back, hours from this very spot, all hell-bent on getting your k…your ch…getting what they came for. We came to help."

Naruto nodded, staring at the ground, but not as if focused. Just bored. "That it?"

"Yes, Nnn…yes. That's it."

He twisted his moccasin on the rock. Ducked his head. Looked up at the sky. "Granny with you?"

And that fast, her heart broke. _She_ broke. It hit her afresh that he'd been dead, that Tsunade might have killed him, had certainly tried to kill Hinata and his son, and that he was broken too. His trust was gone, Sasuke was gone, and she could finally see now that he was broken too.

She grabbed his head and brought it to hers, ignoring his shout of pain. Held him in place. Tried to. She felt him sag against her for all of two seconds before he was yanking back and shaking his head. "No." He jerked a hand across his streaming eyes. "No," he reiterated. "I'm fine."

She didn't push. But she needed him and said so. "Soon as she told us you were dead we booked. We were done with her and her fucking half-truths. The Jounin elders and villagers came with us. We have no country. No _Kage_. We were coming for Sss…for our other friend and the bbb…and you guys' you-know-what. To help. Some shit went down, and the procurement, those armies, got wind of your location when I did, and are right behind us, but we high-tailed it here as fast as we could to support you. You're all we have left. And I really need my friend right now. Was sort of hoping you needed me too." These tears she let fall, unraveling completely, and powerless to wind herself back up.

He almost lost it with her; his face crumpled in on itself, but he sucked it back to normal. Cleared his throat hard as if that would dry his eyes. Left his hands in his sleeves. "I do. You're…" He couldn't meet her eyes.

She touched his arms. Rubbed them. Hugged him, but he didn't hug her back. She stepped away, practically bleeding in her heart. "What do you want to do?"

A shrug. _I don't know. I don't care._

"About the armies?"

Shrug.

"About the villagers?"

"Chou will settle them. You've vetted them?"

"Uh…not exactly."

No anger, just a nod and a head shake all in one, while he stared at the horizon. Chakra mode winked on. Without a word, he turned and went toward the villagers. Konohamaru trotted over at once and dogged his heels.

Naruto stood in the middle of the throng. People moved aside to make room for him. Smiled at him. Bowed to him. Oblivious to his absent gaze and furrowed brow. Ten seconds. "They're clean," he said to no one in particular. Then he raised his voice. "Welcome to Hakumeigakure, where I am _Hirukage_. Chou will get you all settled in. There's plenty of room." And with that he turned and walked back toward an open-mouthed Chou, through the shield, and out of sight.

* * *

Kiba gave Sasuke as long as he needed. There were no tears, though. Just Sasuke's bowed head and fiercely fought-for control. But finally there was a sigh and Sasuke loosened. Sat up. Kiba thought it was safe to venture a question. "What was your life like before your family died?"

"I don't talk about that."

"Maybe you should."

"Ever."

"Could be good for you."

"And I could still kill you."

Kiba made his peace with this fact then and there. Unless he embraced the fact that he wasn't getting out of here, he'd never be able to get through to Sasuke. And considering the power Sasuke now had, getting through to him was imperative. Not just for his sake, but for everyone's. "It's human nature to lash out when we're hurt. Stop the thing that's hurting us. Or run from it. To endure pain is unnatural. Ninja do it because we're trained to. Learned behavior and all that. But I have to think you had a happy life before your family died. Really happy. Happier than most."

Sasuke snorted. "Why is that?"

"Because you have absolutely no ability to process pain. Like, at all. The least little thing happens in your life and you're ready to kill people. It's like you have no tolerance for pain."

"No tolerance for pain? What do you call living all those years with the knowledge that my brother'd killed my clan?"

"I'd call it you hurting your team, leaving your village, hooking up with Orochimaru, and learning how to kill effectively. More lashing out. And then Akatsuki-"

"And what about me coming _back_ to the village? Huh? Living with the pain of my brother's death?"

"That was because you had something stronger than your pain at that point. Naruto. And you hoped to see vengeance on the clan, which you did in the form of the council's exile."

Sasuke blinked at him.

"See, I don't think you've ever just _lived_ with pain. Just existed until your spirit healed on its own. Granted, the things that happened to you weren't normal pains people experience in life, and your brother did tell you to get stronger, but the moment you knew it was all a lie, what'd you do? Swear to obliterate Konoha. You don't face things, Sasuke. You think you're the only one horrible things happen to?"

"I faced Kyuubi." Sasuke sat back. "I faced that."

"You _endured_ that. Kudos, since you seem to need acknowledgment of that fact. That may be the first time you've willingly endured a painful situation, but it cost you. And then you slept with Hinata. Lied about it. You didn't cope with your first taste of perseverance very well. I mean, you could have gone after Naruto and spoken to him once he'd taken Icky. He may be angry but he's not unreasonable. Besides which, he's in pain too."

"He _is_ unreasonable. He won't forgive me."

"Why should he?"

"Well, why not? I forgave him for Kyuubi. Stabbing Icky. Dying on me. All of it."

"None of that was in his control. Except for maybe stabbing Icky. Even then, he wasn't exactly in his right mind."

"Right." Sasuke flipped a hand. "No, none of it is ever his fault. Perfect Naruto, always the hero."

Kiba leaned forward and turned his head aside so that he could scratch the back of his hair. "You know? I've tried seeing things from your side. Tried seeing whatever it is that Naruto sees in you, but you are selfish as fuck. Just this stuck up, selfish asshole. The only person who exists outside yourself is Naruto. And maybe your kid. Before them, your brother. What. Do you have some inability to acknowledge more than one person at a time? Because take that one person away, whoever it is you've decided is your reason for living at the moment, and that's it. _War_. _Death to all. I must be AVENGED._ The fuck is wrong with you? There _is_ no your side, his side, I-went-through-the-worst-shit-imaginable-so-I will-kill-you-all. According to each of you, you've done something unforgivable. You with cheating, Naruto with the rape. You each suffered something ugly. Him with the pregnancy, you with Kyuubi. You guys have a kid. And he has a kid. Guess what: Hinata's gone, so that makes her kid yours too-

Sasuke surged to his feet. "No. _No._ That thing is _not_ mine."

"Do you deserve to die?" The temper scared him not at all now.

"What?"

"Naruto has to die because he hurt you. Do you have to die for hurting him?"

"You make it sound like that's the only reason I want him dead."

Kiba's voice went high with surprise. " _Oh_. I'm sorry. Let me try and think back." He ticked the reasons off on his fingers. "He went Kyuubi and raped you, and that hurt you. He tried to kill your son and that hurt you. He died and that hurt you. He came back, decided he didn't like your cheating ass, and that hurt you. He took your son away from you and that hurt you. You think he should die. That about it?"

Sasuke looked at him, trying to understand. "These things are forgivable to you?"

Kiba, seeing the confusion, knew a moment of amazement that Sasuke's sense of justice was truly this stark. "These things, with the exception of stabbing Icky, were involuntary. You cheating on him wasn't. Lying to him wasn't. Fucking Sachi wasn't. If I thought your sense of justice was a valid one, it would be you who had to die."

"So maybe I should." He fell back into his wispy chair.

"Ooooh, no, son. No. We're not going the other way into self-pity. Not on my watch."

"I really will kill you," Sasuke groaned, scrubbing both hands down his face.

Kiba's chest tightened, but not in fear. Right then, everything about Sasuke finally clicked into place. A connection he'd never felt with him bloomed so that he got up, went to Sasuke, and knelt in front of him. Put a hand on one knee, next to Sasuke's elbow. Sasuke hands remained over his face. "No, you're not," Kiba said quietly. "If you were going to, you would have. Naruto always called you his friend, but I bet you never saw him that way. I know what he is to you. And I can wrap my head around the fact that he takes up too much space for you to think of other people. Just like I know that you've _never_ had a friend, not even on Team 7, or Team Freak, or in Akatsuki."

Wetness began leaking between Sasuke's tightly closed fingers.

Kiba squeezed the knee in his hand, squeezed harder when the response was a barely muffled sob. "I want you to hear me with all the pain you're going through and know that what I say is the truth: I'm your friend, Sasuke. I got you. We are going to sit here and figure out what it is you really want, and then I am going to help you get it."

Sasuke rocked forward. His head collided with Kiba's chest, but Kiba caught him. Hung on tight. Those hands never came off Sasuke's face.

"I loved her," Sasuke said.

"I know."

He almost choked on the words. Gagged. "I loved her while I was hating Naruto."

Kiba was quiet this time. He knew what was coming. The poison behind the pain, the deepest darkest shame Sasuke had in him. He held on to him, squeezing: _It's okay. Get it all out, I won't turn from you._

"I liked Sachi even after she'd threatened my son. After she sent Naruto away. I laughed with her, let her hold my kid. I fucked her. I fucked her and part of me hoped it hurt Naruto more."

"Okay."

"…I'm glad Hinata's dead. Glad she…died the way she did. Oh my God. _No_. But…I am. I loved her, but hated the way Naruto always defended her. He'd drop everything and run to her, always, no matter what. Same way she did for him. Sometimes…sometimes I think I loved her because it took them away from each other. Like shitting on their perfect little pure relationship. Except it was real. For a while. Hated myself for falling under her spell. She was weak. But while it lasted I felt…like…I was the most powerful thing under the sun."

"What else?"

Sasuke pulled back, looking away in embarrassment. But Kiba stared at him, and Sasuke looked him back in the eye. "I wished her baby was mine. That I'd put it in her. The final fuck you to Naruto. Even when her body showed up, I'd hoped. Despite seeing the fight with Tsunade. But he came out the image of his parents. I hate that kid for that alone. Naruto stamped all over him in body and power. Bigger than Icky. Stronger. She had feelings for me. I know. But she loved Naruto the way I love him. More. She could forgive him for things I can't, and seeing her kid so much more powerful than Icky makes me feel like what she had with Naruto was real, and what I had with Naruto wasn't. She gave him a better son. A more powerful son. She didn't give me anything."

Kiba waited.

"She's gone and I'm glad she's gone. Hated her in the end, with Naruto's kid in her. Even though I wanted to fuck her again. Hated her. Hate Naruto. But I want him. I want him back."

 _Here we go._ "Why? As much as you hate him and want him dead. What could you possibly want with him?"

Sasuke sat. Wiped the snot off his face, scrubbed it down a thigh. Stared up at Kiba from his drained sprawl as if truly purged of an illness. "Thank you."

"What?"

"For letting me say those things. Letting me _see_ those things for what they were. Hearing myself say them made me sick, but it also felt wonderful."

"To get it off your chest?"

"No. To admit that I'm not a good person. I'm never going to _be_ a good person." He suddenly laughed, and a last tear was squeezed from one eye, running down the angle of his cheekbone. "Fuck me. For the past two years I've been trying to be something I'm not. Live in the light with Naruto, love Naruto, go to Konoha, be a good citizen, be understanding, and supportive, and well-adjusted. Useless. I'm not those things. I will never be those things. I don't _want_ to be those things. And hearing myself say that shit finally made me realize it."

"So…"

Sasuke smiled.

For Kiba, it was the first genuine smile he'd ever seen on the guy's face in absence of Naruto to put it there; this had nothing to do with Naruto. Interestingly enough, and to his private consternation, the smile gave him a tickle in areas he reserved for girls. He clenched his jaw.

"I'm exactly what you said, Kiba. Selfish as fuck. And a selfish fuck. I hate more than I love. I want to kill people who wrong me. They _should_ die for wronging me. I'm powerful and rare and I _am_ entitled to what I want in this world. _That_ is who I am. I'm Uchiha Sasuke."

"Well, so, okay…what do you want?"

Sasuke stood, and the world returned. They were in front of the little house. The air now held the scent of the villagers who'd passed through. Akamaru, faithful mutt who'd stayed behind to wait for him, barked once at seeing him and bounded over. Kiba grabbed him up, hugged him, buried his face in his fur, and inhaled his rank but familiar smell.

"I want my son," Sasuke said when Kiba straightened. "I want my family. I want Naruto."

"You hate Naruto."

"I do. But I also love him. If you're right, and hating is part of loving, then it's just something I'm going to have to accept. I'm not a forgiving person, you're right about that too. I'm vengeful. An accounting will be made, by both of us, because, as you said, what I did was voluntary. He deserves his pound of flesh from me. I guess he really is like food."

"Huh?"

"Sometimes you like it, love it, or hate it. You can live without it for a while, but you'd die without it completely. I don't think I'd die without him. But I'd stop. Stop _being_. He pushes me. Challenges me. Fuels me." His sword was pulled from its sheath and held so that he could see his eyes. Suddenly they were black again, the power hidden. "He loves me. He loves _me_ , Kiba. Dark, selfish, vengeful, unforgiving me. I'm pissed as fuck at him, _hate_ him right now, but I'm not letting him go."

"I see. And the fact that he's just as pissed at you?"

"Will be duly addressed. He wanted honesty from me. I'll give him honesty. I almost wish I could go back in time and have the opportunity to confront Kyuubi again. I'd cut his ass down so hard, so fast…" He took a deep breath, put his blade down with a complicated twist. "Just have to settle for the here and now. But if I'd accepted sooner who and what I really am, none of this would have happened. I'd have sent Hinata back when she tried to stay. Dealt with Kyuubi as Naruto said I should have-" he stopped. Stared into the distance.

"What?"

"Naruto's always known exactly what I am. I never understood why _he_ couldn't understand my actions with Kyuubi. He's right, that wasn't me. What the fuck, I actually told him I did it to protect Hinata, and I did, but mostly I've just been off my game since moving back to Konoha. I gave up who I am when I went back, but I really lost it when I found out he was pregnant. Decided I had to be _really_ good so…so that this amazing thing, my new family, wouldn't be taken from me again. And that was the precise moment I started letting him down."

"You're forgetting that I was at the cabin too. And I was in Konoha. You said earlier that you're not supportive, but I've never seen a more supportive partner. You took care of him. You-"

"No. If I'd been taking care of him, I would have confronted the council and demanded things be different. Stayed around Naruto's support system. Called Tsunade on her bullshit. Instead, I let everyone fuck us over. Deprived Naruto of the things he needs to survive. He loves me and needs me, but he only thrives around people. His friends. It was selfish of me, and I _am_ selfish, but that was when I needed to put him first. I put myself, my fears, my own drama first. He said he wasn't fair to me, that he checked out first, but no. I did. He checked out because I failed him. You were right, Kiba, but so was Naruto. He said we're only whole when we're together. That we hold each other in place." He shook his head slowly from side to side. Looking hard at something in his past now. "Naruto's face when he took Icky? Walked away from me? So full of disgust. Right before he took him he called me a liar. And told me the man I'd been never had cause to lie. He's right. Lying is for weak people. I owned my shit back before all this. Who didn't like it could go fuck themselves. He doesn't trust me. He's right not to; you never know what a weak person might do. They might let you run wild and fuck your best friend. Get her pregnant with a kid that ends up killing her. _God_." He shook his head again, this time violently. His face was a study in anguish. "I failed him so hard it's no wonder he won't take me back."

"Huh." Kiba shifted. Scratched the back of his neck. "Guess you won't be killing him, then. Good. Progress. See? But I still say you being a good person, or trying to be one, isn't the problem-"

"Naruto didn't fall in love with a good person. Can't you see that? I finally do. He fell in love with me at my worst. As I am. The vengeful, unapologetic me. He can be good enough for the both of us, but I am what I am. And so help me, I'm done running."

"So. We going back?"

"We're going back. My eyes are my business for now."

"Got it."

Sasuke looked at Kiba then and felt something strange. Foreign. A kinship, a unity of minds that at once put him on guard and made him feel exposed. He was still staring at Kiba's face when it hit him.

"You're my friend."

"What? Of course."

Of course. It was something Kiba said to him before, but he hadn't understood it until this moment. "No. You're _my friend._ "

"I don't follow."

And neither had he. Never had he understood that word. All the times Naruto had used it, or whenever he'd heard it used, he could never understand its meaning. A friend seemed to be someone you laughed and behaved stupidly with, yet the word itself was given so much more importance. People died for friends. He'd never been able to see the significance of dying for someone who made you laugh or played pranks with you. Family was the only thing he'd given that level of importance, and friend seemed to be a weak substitute for family.

But now. This. Right here and now, looking at Kiba's puzzled face, he realized something. Before Kiba showed up, he was actively contemplating ways to kill Naruto. And now, after speaking with Kiba, that idea couldn't be farther from his mind. He wanted to preserve Naruto, to cherish him. And yet, the idea of killing him had been sound. At least in his mind. He'd had complete faith and conviction in that course of action. And he would have lived with it had he done it…but it would have been a mistake. Probably the biggest mistake of his life. He wouldn't have known that if Kiba hadn't shown up. And now that his mind was opened to this concept he realized other things. Namely, that he'd consistently made gross errors in judgment. With this situation, as well as in his past. But he'd never had a friend to steer him right. To show him he was wrong.

 _You had Naruto. You always had him._

And Naruto had always tried to guide him to the right path, Sasuke realized. He just couldn't realize it because he hadn't understood the concept of what a friend was. It wasn't laughing and being stupid. That was simply what _Naruto_ did with _his_ friends. He'd never wanted or needed that, ergo he'd never wanted or needed friends. Hated whenever Naruto bleated at him about being his friend. It seemed to him at the time that Naruto always said it whenever something serious was going down. Their battles. The shack. Those were serious times, times clearly inappropriate for games and laughter, but maybe Naruto hadn't being offering laughter. Maybe he'd been offering this. Guidance. Support. And come to think of it, when he'd left the village, Naruto's friends hadn't been laughing. They'd supported him in trying to bring him back. They all knew he, Sasuke, had been wrong. How? How did they know what was right while he didn't? He was smart. Fiercely so. He knew this.

But he also knew that Kiba was his friend. His guide. Willing to sit in his presence and show him what was right despite their difference in power. Despite the threat of death. Kiba felt strongly enough about guiding him to ignore his own life. _That_ was what a friend was. Why people died for friends. And it flat out amazed him that he'd gone his entire life without realizing this lack in himself. Which led him to Naruto. Naruto, who went on and on about his friends, being a friend, needing his friends. A friend wasn't a weak imitation of family, not as he understood the word now. No, it was just as important, maybe more so, because family wasn't voluntary the way friendship was. One _chose_ to go to these extremes for people they didn't share blood with. It was…the word came to him after much thought. Noble. It was a nobler, higher relationship than family.

He hadn't just deprived Naruto of people he liked to hang out with, as he'd originally thought when he said he'd taken him away from his friends. He'd deprived him of who and what he was. Naruto's friends were what had gotten him through every obstacle in his life. They supported him. Fed the starving hole his lack of family had created in him. Lifted him. Allowed him to be the shining idiot of goodness he was. He didn't need guidance. He _was_ the guidance. But he needed his friends. Without them, he didn't function. Not properly. He needed them in order to be complete.

 _And I'm his best friend. His biggest support. Words out of his own mouth._

This final realization of who Naruto was both warmed and shamed him. He'd failed him in more ways than he'd thought.

"Sasuke?"

He was crying again, he realized. He wiped his face, but then just stood looking at the wetness on his hand. "I've never had a friend, you're right about that too. Didn't know what it meant. And because of that, because of _my_ stupidity…"

Kiba frowned.

"I asked Naruto to trust me and then I failed him. Because I failed him, Hinata is dead. That's my fault. And because she's dead, Naruto failed himself and her. Hinata was my friend too, back before I understood. So I failed her as well. I got her killed. I got her hurt then I got her killed."

"Soooo, is this some side effect of your God complex? This raging pity fest?"

"Naruto was my friend. And I didn't understand it. Now I do. Maybe we can't be lovers anymore. Probably not. But I can be his friend. I'm going to be his friend. And you're mine. I see that."

"We're back to that. Okay. Yes. I'm your friend."

"You support me."

"Yes."

"Guide me."

"If you need it."

"And you'll fight for me."

Kiba gave a nod. "Yes. Yes, I will."

Sasuke received this with the gravity it was due. He squared his shoulders and bowed from the waist. "Thank you."

Kiba jerked his head. "Uh huh. And you're my friend, right?"

Sasuke straightened. "Absolutely not."

"…Wait, what?"

"You have enough friends. I'm sure they do a much better job than I could. There's not much I fail at, but this is clearly an area where I don't excel. It'll be enough for me to try and be Naruto's friend. Let's go."

"But-"

"You can tell me about these armies on the way."

Kiba mounted Akamaru. _This fool is actually serious. He isn't just crazy, he's dangerously ignorant._

* * *

After dumping the village on Chou's capable shoulders he went right back to his room, right back to where he'd left off, thinking of Hinata. But Konohamaru barged into his room right behind him, blowing his concentration away with a, "Sweet digs! Shit. So, Boss. I got something to tell you. The armies found out your location from me. Yeah, man. I was nailing this bitch —that's right. It's official. I have been _laid_ , I'm a _man_ —and it turns out she was using me to spy on Sakura and crew, feeding the info back to wherever. So that's my fault. I'm sorry. But I killed her and helped us find you with _Kage_ _Bunshin._ Tell me you ain't proud! So I was thinking, now that I'm here and all, if I could, like, be your assistant and shit. You're _Kage_ now. You need an assistant. I'm your man. Mo and Udon are around too, so. Oh! Can I see your kid? And I heard you got Hinata pregs! Is that true?"

Not a pause for breath or a by your leave in this speech. Naruto quite literally felt numb at the assault. Oppressed at the sudden lack of solitude. "Dude. You're in my room."

Konohamaru looked around. "Yup. So, can I? See the baby?"

Naruto felt the most indescribable urge to kill Konohamaru. Just shut him up permanently and reclaim his privacy. Right then, the fact that his village was here, his friends were here, Sasuke was gone, Hinata was dead, he was a rapist, and no longer Naruto The Hero was all summed up in this kid who was nearly his height now, getting muscular, and whom he'd loved as a brother. He wanted to kill Konohamaru. And that was when he knew for real and for true that he was not okay. Not by a mile.

* * *

Sakura stood to one side as she watched this Chou. She had no idea what'd gone on up here between Sasuke, Naruto, and Hinata, but the result seemed to be this: Naruto now only trusted Chou.

She hated Chou.

But she couldn't fault the way he rose to the grossly unfair responsibility of settling an entire village. First thing he'd done was ask who was in charge. That was her. He asked her who her next in commands were. She pointed out her advisors. He met them, and assigned each one to a task: sorting families from tradesmen; sorting the tradesmen; hunting; inventory the food they'd brought; sick and wounded. These last he directed toward himself. "I'm a medic-"

"I'm head medic, student to Tsunade herself. They're mine," she was forced to interrupt him by saying.

Chou turned his wide face to her. "I remember Tsunade. She studied under my parents a long time ago. I was really small. I don't doubt that you're good, but I'm afraid my appointment was made by Naruto. You can update me on your wounded."

"You can kiss my ass. I want to see the _Hirukage_."

"I'm sure if he wants to see you he'll summon you." Chou said this as he carefully monitored the villagers filing past him and assigned them homes in quadrants of Hakumei.

"In the first place, _Chou,_ you've just shown me you're a liar. I know every mentor Tsunade ever had. Second, no one summons me anywhere, least of all some self-appointed jackass who seems to have forgotten exactly who I am and what I'm capable of. I know he's in pain, but this? He has lost his fucking mind. What happened to him? That is not the guy I've known for years, or the guy I left my village for."

"No, he probably isn't." Pause. "A lot happened. I'm not clear on most of it, or the finer details of what I do know, but part of what I do know is that it's not my place to tell. How close were you?"

She was caught up in digesting the first bit of real info she'd heard. "What?"

"To Naruto."

"Close."

"Girlfriend?"

" _Friend_."

Chou turned and she was hit with something she couldn't immediately name. Masculinity, or power, or whatever it was, it baked off him in waves, aimed, to her offended mind, directly at her. "You're a bitch," he said.

" _What!"_ Her voice was a shriek of impending violence.

"I can tell. It's fine that you are, because I think you can get through to him. He sort of scares me-"

This from a guy nearly seven feet tall, who was currently hunched over her, huge hand wrapped almost double around her upper arm, while still managing to keep watch over everyone entering the village and their possessions.

"-so I get intimidated every time I try to talk to him, but he needs help. And I think you can help him."

"Let go of me."

He stared down at her for a long moment-

 _What kind of eyes are those?_

-before slowly releasing her arm. "Will you help him?"

Her heart resumed beating. She made a show of straightening her clothes. "Where is he?"

"Probably home. In his room."

"Point the way."

* * *

Konohamaru was in Naruto's house, along with what Kiba had taken to calling the squad, and Konohamaru enviously dubbed the cabin crew. No Naruto. They were all in the kitchen. Chouji was at the stove, handling huge slabs of seal meat with the care of a loving parent. She stopped in the doorway, looked at them looking at her, and planted her hands on her hips. "I am so fucking over this situation."

They adjusted themselves so they were facing her. All except Chouji, who was frying up the steaks with onions he'd brought. He cocked his head toward her to show that he was listening.

"That fuck we ran all the way here to see?" she clarified. "Not the _Hirukage,_ the other one. The one who took Kiba. And now _this_ fuck, the one right here. I can't believe I've mentioned the armies and nothing's been done. They will literally walk in here and just take what they want. What the hell did we kill ourselves getting here for? Sun's shining, food's cooking, and everything's just _fine_. It's like we entered another dimension."

Neji was the only one sitting. He didn't get up now. "No one's getting past that giant. Got a look at her chakra. Never seen anything like it."

Blank looks.

"Her?" Sakura said. "Her, who? Only giant I saw was Chou. He's not that tall, either. Asshole."

Neji shook his head. "I heard the pronouns, but she's female. I…saw."

"You perv!" Konohamaru cackled. Then he grew serious. "Girl, guy, Neji's right. No getting past Chou. Not easily. Boss looks fine too. When they come, we'll fight." He shrugged. Stared toward Chouji and what he was doing.

"Where are they?" she asked.

Shino answered. "The armies? Camped fifty miles away from our first stop, where we left Akamaru. My _kikai_ report no change in their movements."

"They're either waiting for reinforcements, or have us infiltrated to gather info or extract the prize without bloodshed. Either way, the jackass running this village doesn't seem to care. Is he in his room?"

"Nope." Konohamaru filched a steak, and slipped beneath Chouji's fist. "Vanished. And nobody infiltrated anything. Boss said the villagers were clean, they're clean."

Sakura silently wished he would choke on his steak. "I really need to talk to him. Something is horribly wrong here."

-oOo-

This much became evident as the endless daylight hours wore on. At one point Chou found them in Naruto's house, cabin crew and advisors alike, to make his report. "Not that I owe you any information until such time as Naruto sees fit to tell me so, but I thought you'd like to know that the villagers have been settled comfortably in homes. A hunting party has been dispatched south via teleportation technique and will return the same way with food and supplies. Tradesmen have located suitable workshops and shops, and are getting the business of commerce underway, I believe. Ah…yes. Sakura. You and I will need to coordinate to open a hospital, a clinic, and see about acquiring staff. You can report your medic-oriented associates to me and I'll cull out anyone unsuitable-" He blinked as Sakura slowly began advancing on him. Her face was pale with rage. "Something wrong?"

"Yes. _Chou_. Something is very wrong. See, I'd love nothing more than to scratch your eyes out right now." She stopped right in front of him, hands girlishly clasped low down in front of her, shoulders near her ears. Eyes wide, bright, and fervent. Mouth curved in a catty smile. Her voice dropped to a throaty purr eloquent of a very real, very physical desire to do serious and immediate damage to Chou, who was apparently captivated by this display. The cabin crew shifted towards the rear of the room. The advisors went on high alert. Konohamaru seemed to be the only one amused as he fought to maintain a straight face. He looked back and forth between Sakura and Chou, shivering in excitement.

"Well," Chou said carefully. "Seeing as I've done nothing to warrant this aggression…maybe you're stressed from other things? Your journey, maybe. Or uprooting your life for Naruto, only to find him less than welcoming. Do you want to talk about it? I'm a good listener." Here, Chou put a sympathetic hand on Sakura's shoulder.

Konohamaru squeaked out, "Oh, _shit!_ " right before Sakura's seal exploded over her face and Sakura herself finally erupted.

The cabin crew watched, but didn't get involved. The advisors were another matter. Chou didn't deserve this; clearly, Sakura was suffering from stress and so wasn't thinking; there were other, much more pressing matters to address, and a fight right now wasn't one of them. These were all valid reasons to step in and stop Sakura. The one and only reason they didn't was Chou. There wasn't a soul there who hadn't seen his shield and assessed Chou for themselves. He was not to be engaged lightly. During that first minute of Sakura's shrieking attack, they twitched toward intervening but remained where they were. Which ended up being fine. Their moment of hesitation was all Chou needed to neutralize Sakura himself.

He countered the ridiculously enhanced chakra strength that came his way with a single palm he aimed at Sakura. A 'no, stop' gesture that swallowed the chakra fueling the attacks. Her seal reversed itself immediately. Without the slightest pause in surprise or hesitation, Sakura resorted to _Taijutsu_. The hard, devastating punches and kicks she was known for. Chou looked down at her wild pink head as she plowed her attacks at his midsection, seeking damage to his vital organs. And when her assault weakened, became hands that clutched at his T-shirt as she sank to her knees on a sob, he stooped, picked her up, and calmly left the house.

Silence.

The cabin crew and advisors looked at each other. Konohamaru announced, "I want a Chou."

* * *

He didn't go far. Only next door, to his house, where he deposited Sakura on his couch.

She stared at her lap.

He hunkered down to her level and stared at her lap with her. "I won't pretend to know what you're going through, but I do know this: you need rest. You're exhausted. For now, I want you to forget about being in charge. Just lie down here, close your eyes, and sleep. Okay?"

"But the armies." She fell sideways, already yawning.

"Naruto's problem now."

"My people."

"Being handled by me." He drew a bear fur over her as she began snoring lightly. "Just sleep."

She was gone. No further protests. He gazed at her for a few minutes. Considered touching her hair. Such a shade. But he got up and left instead.

Naruto needed to answer for a few things.

* * *

"Why are we walking these two hundred miles?" Kiba wanted to know. "Can't you just blink us there?"

"I could."

"Then why are we walking?"

"Because I want information."

"On?"

"Everything that's gone on since I last saw you."

"Oh, well…"

That took up a few dozen miles. After, Sasuke said, "Smart, sending Ino and Shikamaru to Konoha, but they aren't there anymore." He explained why, then stopped walking. Looked at Kiba. "Since you don't actually have anything to tell me about the armies-"

"Hey, I told you what I knew."

"We should get Ino and Shikamaru. See what they've discovered."

"Which is nothing. Ino would have passed any intel along to her dad."

"They wouldn't have been targeted for assassination if that were true. You see that, right? And there was a _Genjutsu_ over them, one Ino wouldn't detect."

"The definition, _the purpose_ , of a _Genjutsu_ is to bypass detection."

 _Spoken by someone who has no experience with it._ Sasuke refrained from commenting on his stupidity. "Not that this is common knowledge, but there are a few clans that are hard to put under. If the clan member is trained. Even so, if you manage it there's almost a hundred percent chance of detection. Uchiha is one such clan. Yamanaka is another. There are even fewer _Genjutsu_ that can snare us completely. Less still, people who can execute them. Now. Let's assume that Ino knew she was under suspicion, and the council was aware of this. To get the drop on her at that point would be impossible. You'd need a master of the art. An attack that didn't use chakra, so as not to disturb the fine subtleties keeping the _Genjutsu_ in place. Stealth beyond your comprehension. Do you think such a person was just sitting around Konoha? No. Council had to send for someone. A specialist. And they would only go to such lengths if Ino and Shikamaru had sensitive intel. _Intel_ ," he pressed when Kiba protested, "that was too sensitive to risk sending, even telepathically."

"Isn't that the safest way to send info?"

"I've heard tell of people who could intercept telepathic signals."

Kiba thought of the girl who'd used Konohamaru. "I guess such obscure arts are coming out of the woodwork now. Council probably had one such person in the village. Ino probably knew." Which explained why they'd gotten virtually no communication from her.

"So we're going to her."

"You show your face in Konoha and that's-"

" _Not_ Konoha."

The world shifted. Ice, mountains, and sky all bled together, then righted themselves to reveal a forest. It was night.

-oOo-

"Oh my God."

Kiba whirled to find Sasuke approaching Ino and Shikamaru, the latter of whom was the one who'd spoken. While Ino threw her arms around Sasuke, and Shikamaru murmured at him in a low voice, he scented the air. Looked at their make-shift camp. Just a small fire and a lean-to. Rabbits and grouse cooking over a spit.

"Going by how you just appeared," Shikamaru was saying to Sasuke, "how we left Konoha was your doing. Right? Ino said she saw you. I didn't. What happened." It was a demand Shikamaru posed with folded arms and unblinking eyes.

Kiba said nothing. Sasuke turned in place, scanning the surroundings, before saying, "That's my question."

"Mmmno." Shikamaru narrowed his eyes at the back of Sasuke's head. "My answers first. See, you yanked us out of Konoha and left us to our own devices. Why? Last I knew, Kiba was with Sakura and her group. Now he's with you. Why and how? Why are you here with us? And speaking of here, since when can you travel like Madara?"

Sasuke faced him. "You and Ino were seconds away from being assassinated-"

"What?" Ino put herself in front of Shikamaru, staring Sasuke down. "What do you mean?"

He explained.

"But that doesn't tell us how you knew about it, or managed to arrive at precisely the right time, or why you left us out here without a word of explanation," Shikamaru said.

"No," Sasuke agreed. "It doesn't." His eyes were just as challenging.

Ino frowned at the ground now. "The last I heard from my father, Hinata was believed dead. The villagers were on their way to Ss…to you." She looked at Sasuke. "Where's your you-know-what if you're here? Did it…oh God, did it die too? With…with him?"

Sasuke surprised them all by grabbing Kiba's arm and dragging him out of earshot.

"The fuck is-"

Sasuke cut him off. "Advise me."

"What?"

"My instinct is to hide my eyes, but, as shown, my instincts aren't always correct. I'm not used to revealing power unless called on to do so-"

Kiba held up a hand and matched Sasuke's hiss. "I thought you told me lying was for weak people?"

"I'm not lying."

"Lying by omission." At seeing Sasuke's blank stare, he shook his head. "Can either of them touch you in power? Can anyone?"

"Them? Not likely."

"Then what does it matter if they know? Let them! Let rumors of your power grow and spread. That's how you keep threats away from what's yours."

"It's also how you call threats to what's yours."

"They're your friends."

"No, you are. I don't trust them."

"Naruto does."

Sasuke looked at where Shikamaru and Ino were staring at him. "True. All right. But only because I trust Naruto, and it'll probably come out anyway."

Ino covered her mouth with both hands when Sasuke strolled up, eyes exposed. Shikamaru only continued to stare.

"First off…" Sasuke performed the same unsealing on them both. When they recovered, he said, "I think this will go a lot quicker if you just lifted the info from me directly, Ino."

She nodded. Placed four trembling fingertips on Sasuke's brow. Closed her eyes.

Shikamaru took in details. The way Kiba stood just behind Sasuke's elbow, frowning in concern. Or maybe something else. If it was something else, Sasuke sure hadn't waited long to move on from Naruto. He just couldn't believe Sasuke would move on at all. And with Kiba, of all people. Kiba seemed all for it. Letting himself be pulled away like that. Looked like Sasuke was topping him, too. And here he'd thought Kiba was firmly in the market for females. When did he even have time to hook up with Sasuke? Maybe-

"Oh God." Ino stepped back, fingers now pressed to her mouth, eyes flooding. " _Sasuke."_

Shikamaru stepped into her line of sight. "The suspense is killing me."

Ino summarized her findings, before turning away with a hand to her stomach. She put her other hand against a tree.

Watching her, Shikamaru summarized further. "Naruto's alive. Pissed at you, left you, which gave you your new eyes here. Fine. When exactly did you hook up with Kiba?"

"Hours ago."

Not what he'd assumed, then. Or maybe it was.

"What did you and Ino find out in Konoha?"

Still looking at Ino, who was now on her knees, Shikamaru said, "Plenty. First, Konoha has a new _Jinchuuriki_."

Kiba and Sasuke responded in unison. "WHAT!"

"In fact, all the nations do. Gaara, who was the only _Kage_ opposed to the procurement, has gone missing."

"How long ago?" Sasuke barked.

"Six, maybe seven months now. New _Kazekage_ is a monster, by all reports. When you saved us —thank you, by the way—Ino and I were going over who has what _Bijuu_. But I think there's something more troubling than the procurement armies."

Kiba snorted. "What could be worse than that?"

"Sachi."

Sasuke stepped closer, holding Shikamaru's gaze. "What about her? I know she had some connection with Madara."

"She also had a brother."

"Yes, a younger one-"

"No. One who was two years older. No record of him exists in Konoha, not officially. But Tsunade never stopped investigating that family. She had an agent go to their hiding place, where they'd lived all those years. Scouted around. Asked the nearest villages about info regarding them. No one had any information, of course. But up in the mountains, a grave was found. Young teen. Male. Eyes removed. Signs of a small family living there."

Sasuke digested this. "So she probably has _Eternal_ _Mangekyo_ -"

"I'm not done. Naruto's got the Nine-Tails. That leaves eight _Bijuu_ in the wind. Suna's got Shukaku again, if you can believe it. Kiri's got the Five-Tails. Iwa, the Two-Tails, Kumo, the Eight-Tails. That's four _Bijuu_ still unaccounted for. The Three, Four, Six, and Seven-Tails. Now here's where things get interesting. Konoha was leading this war for two reasons. One, Naruto is a citizen and Konoha's _Jinchuuriki_. His kid might be insanely powerful, but first and foremost it's _Naruto's_ _kid_. And yours. A Konoha citizen by rights. Actually, there are three reasons. The third is this: Konoha's new _Jinchuuriki_ was reported to be in possession of those four remaining _Bijuu_. All at once. And that person went missing when the villagers left with Tsunade."

Kiba and Sasuke waited.

"We think that person is Sachi," Ino said. She straightened and turned to face them. "We won't bore you with the details of our research or how we came to that conclusion, but we think it's her. We think that's why she was sent with that team to subdue you at the cabin, Sasuke."

Sasuke looked back and forth between her and Shikamaru. "You're right, that is interesting. But the _Bijuu_ were locked in _Gedo_ _Mazo_. Only the _Rinnegan_ can control it. Or someone with both Uchiha and Senju blood. If all this is true, who released them?"

"Likely Madara," Shikamaru said. "But you bring me to my next point. In case it wasn't him, it was probably Sachi. I'm in favor of this idea because Madara wouldn't have released them while on the run from you and your team for that year. Sachi, on the other hand could and would."

"You can't pin everything on her," Sasuke began.

Shikamaru was unmoved. "If we were about to be silenced, and I don't doubt you, it was most definitely because of our final mission inside Konoha. Ino and I had self-appointed tasks. Our last task was for Ino to make contact with a member of Sachi's family. They are warded and guarded beyond any mere ninja, Sasuke, even long-lost Uchiha. We got the mother. From a distance. I won't discuss how difficult this was. Ino was in and out of her mind like _that_ , but even so the woman detected her. We barely made it back to our place. Had _just_ gotten back to compare our findings with what we knew of the _Bijuu_ when you did what you did."

Sasuke said, "What'd you find out?"

"Much. But the gist is simple: Sachi isn't her daughter. Not from her body, anyway. She was brought to them as a baby by Madara."

"But she's Uchiha. You're saying there are more Uchiha out there somewhere?"

"I don't know. I do know that this family was smuggled out of Konoha long before Kyuubi's attack. Hidden. Records of them erased. Their disappearance was planned. What'd the assassin look like?"

Sasuke described him.

Ino and Shikamaru exchanged a glance. "That's Sachi's father," Shikamaru said. "No mistake."

"Sasuke," Ino said. "I couldn't see what the final goal was, but it had everything to do with you."

Sasuke turned away from them. _Naruto was right. She_ was _aimed at me._

He stood there and coldly considered the fact that he'd had Sachi in his house. Fed her. Fought her. Fucked her. Let her hold his son. And she'd been lying the whole time. He'd suspected _something_ , but not this. Never this. She'd probably healed herself seconds after vanishing and was now just biding her time.

Naruto wouldn't be able to stop her. Wouldn't even see her coming, since he was convinced she was dead. Icky would be taken.

"We're leaving," he said. "Grab on."

They each put a hand on him, whereupon they were gone with a parting of the atmosphere.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: It's been too long. All I can say is that life happened. Work happened. Lost my balance, priorities shifted. I stopped writing for a while. Didn't touch my computer for months.

Yesterday someone dear to me died.

I recently told Gar that the reason I write is so I can "fix" all the things I feel are wrong. Save the world, so to speak. I can create a tale wherein everything is horrible and then have the characters do what I wish the people in this world would do and make things right. So here I am. God willing, I will always come back to writing.

Thank you so much for your patience. Please forgive any typos I've missed or the site has made. Onward.

* * *

Chapter 9

Hinata's tomb was at the base of a mountain. The mountain itself was more of a land formation that rose a few thousand feet into the air, where it then leveled off into a plateau that stretched back a few miles. The area held several such formations. At the top of this one, the plateau was pocked with caves caused by millennia of erosion. These led straight down into the mountain itself. Some went down a dozen feet, some for hundreds of feet. One went down for what seemed like the entire height of the mountain. Naruto jumped down this one and stood looking at the craggy world illuminated by the shaft of sunlight he stood in. More caves branched off at odd angles. He turned from them and faced what he knew to be the front of the mountain, toward Hinata's tomb.

Eyes closed, he took a moment to decide just how little he cared that the armies were here for his children. He didn't care at all, he found. Icky could vanish, and Beast was Beast. They'd be fine. His friends, now. The villagers. Them he cared about very much. He didn't want them here. Yes, he remembered his fight back to sanity after seeing Hinata's body: his family, his friends, and his village. He loved his sons…well, Icky. Beast he was still working on. But he honestly didn't care about the rest of it anymore. He was done. Really done this time. He just wanted to be left alone.

Least he still had Hinata.

And now that he was alone he could get back to it. No interruptions. He chose a relatively smooth spot, stretched out, and closed his eyes.

His heart pitched in anticipation. Even after hours of doing it, he still trembled. Not precisely eager, but…the way it did when he knew he was about to do something he could get in trouble for. Part excitement, part nerves; he knew it was going to hurt but somewhere in the hurt it also felt good.

-oOo-

 _Sometimes he started with the early memories. Before she'd known him. Those were bittersweet. He hadn't hurt her yet, but others were hurting her. More often he hung out in the adolescent memories. Academy days. He'd watch her watching him and feel some of the fissures in his spirit filled with her love. Sometimes he would touch her hair, but his hand only passed through her. He marveled at the hours she stared at him. Longed for him. Bathed in her secret thoughts of him. Her fantasies of him. They used to make him blush, but now he looked at them boldly and wished he'd fulfilled every one._

 _She got older and her fantasies got older. Her love matured. A slow, steady progression from admiration to sexual. The day she'd fought Pain for him, the day she'd finally confessed what was in her heart, in was in full knowledge of what she wanted from him. He would look, hear, and wish he'd given it to her._

 _Her memories after he'd come back from the forest were also bittersweet. To see how much he'd hurt her with his clumsy apology and experience her discovery of him and Sasuke made him ache. Or maybe the ache was because he and Sasuke had still been close then. He never stayed in any of these memories long. They were his way of paying tribute to her until he could get to the memories he really wanted. As if by spending time in these less interesting memories, he could justify his reasons for coming in the first place. It lessened his sense of wrongness, traveling through her younger memories._

 _At last he did turn away. Left them behind. Approached the memories of the three of them leaving the cabin with that private shudder of guilt mixed with shame and excitement he always experienced. This was it. Where things started feeling wrong but good._

 _Up here in the arctic. In the first village. Where it was just him and her and Sasuke. Before Kyuubi. When she would stare at him and want him and dream about him at night. He spent a lot of time in these memories, but not the majority of his time. That was coming. He was working his way toward it. Sometimes he would stare at her. She was so beautiful. Sometimes he tried to touch her. When Kyuubi showed up, and her memories started shifting to Sasuke, was when the excitement started twisting tighter._

 _He wanted to touch her. Be with her. Acknowledge her love at long last and tell her that now he could finally return it. He was free to do so and_ did _love her. The way she wanted to be loved by him. But he couldn't do that. How he wished she had a memory of him touching her. Not the many innocent touches they'd exchanged through the years. Real touching. The way Sasuke'd touched her. He could relive her memory of that night with Sasuke, but he never did. And never would. He always stopped before the memories got to that night._

 _The only time his body had ever touched hers was the rape. This was where he spent the majority of his time. What he was now obsessed with._

 _At first all he could do was watch, the way he'd done when Beast showed up. Watch and cringe. He would come to apologize, the way he always did, then he would go through her other memories, the early ones. Perhaps to soothe himself. To remind himself that her life hadn't all been disastrous. But he always returned to the rape._

 _If only he could hold her! Stop it from happening. The rape was the cause of everything: the night with Sasuke; Beast; her death. All of that started right here with the rape. The more he traveled her memories, the more his empathy grew. The more his empathy grew, the better able he became to tolerate the memory of the rape itself. He loved her. He didn't know how all the guilt and shame had brought him to this realization, but he did. He loved her. All he wanted was to hold her._

 _He wasn't sure when he first slipped into Kyuubi's memory of the rape. But he thought he did it so he could hold her at last. Touch her with love in his heart._

 _The first time he'd done it he pulled back at once. What kind of sick fuck was he to willingly relive the rape? To_ reenact _it? But he'd gone back. Focused on the feel of her skin. The intense smell of her. She'd smelled of fear. He always bypassed the violence right before the rape. Focused on that short time he'd been touching her. Shut out the way he'd scratched and bitten her. Concentrated on how soft she was. The taste of her. How hot and tight she'd been. He convinced himself that her screams were from pleasure. "Hinata," he'd whisper over and over. "I love you. Please know that."_

 _Tonight was different, as he'd known it would be. He arrived at the event, as usual. He no longer referred to it as rape. He arrived, but this time Hinata was waiting. Still in the kitchen, still at the sink, but facing him. Smiling. And, just as he'd known it would be, that tangible quality to her presence was back._

" _Hinata?" His eyes ran over her. Her clothes were different. The clothes she used to wear in Konoha. "Is this real?"_

" _Naruto." Her smile deepened._

 _She hadn't addressed him like this, directly, since the night she'd given him her memories. To see her looking at him, welcoming him… To hear his name from her lips in that tone… It all_ felt _real. So much more real than life with Chou and the boys. "What is this?" he said._

 _She came toward him. "Your feelings finally reached me." She took his hands. Put them around her. "Hold me like you want to. Like I want you to."_

 _It had to be real. How else would she know exactly what he was thinking? He drew her against his body. Gasped at finding her naked. They were both naked. She was whole and perfect. Unblemished. Unhurt. Her hand slid between them and found him ready. No shame. No guilt. Just her eyes shining up at him with all the forgiveness in the world. "I love you, Hinata." He brought his face to hers._

" _Show me," she whispered against his mouth._

* * *

Konoha's newest Hokage was a man named Shinji. Young. Not quite thirty. Appallingly unqualified for the position he now occupied. He'd been a keen councilman. Adept at politics, subterfuge, the hidden pathways by which villages were run.

A fighter he was not. His actual ninja rank was Chuunin. However, as he'd been the most vociferous proponent for taking Naruto's unprecedented child, he'd been shunted into Tsunade's place. A place, he always thought in rage, Tsunade was never to have lost. Yes, he'd screamed louder than anyone for her impeachment, her deposition, her assassination—anything that would get their hands on that child—because he'd fully expected Tsunade and her supporters to triumph. Had he known there were so many silent dissidents, so many people who hungered for power and for Konoha to be the unquestioned leader in the world, he would have kept his own mouth shut. Tsunade was supposed to win. She was Hokage. A woman who could no doubt take on the entire _village_ and win. She'd conceded defeat in her ousting to prevent more loss of life.

 _Damn her_. But for her, he wouldn't be stuck in the mess he was currently in.

If only they'd captured Naruto at the cabin. Sachi was to have been their ace. But some traitor warned them in time and Sasuke had disappeared to parts unknown. Sachi, too, apparently turned on them to side with Tsunade. All might still have been well if Sachi had remained with them, but there never had been any way to control that bitch.

By chance, the gods decided to smile on them a last time. Sachi, back when she'd still sided with the village, had put forth a plan the Fifth shot down, but which he and the other council members thought held merit: elect her and Sasuke as heads of a new military force, and she would see to it that Konoha enjoyed the kind of power that would guarantee attacks from people like Pain never happened again. Konoha would rule the world. Never again would one man's whim come so close to destroying all, as Madara's had done. Organizations like Akatsuki would never form. Konoha would rule firmly, but peacefully, equal with the Hokage…and they'd all heard her unspoken desire to see Sasuke elected to this position. She'd then proceeded to back up her proposition by showing them Gedo Mazo. Whereupon her father sealed four of the demons in her, as many as she could hold. Konoha was to have retained possession of the remaining four, but a spy reported to the other villages —such a mess. They'd received no small amount of grief from Tsunade; that bit of business went down on one of her trips to the cabin. Once she found out, she'd never left again. Kept the group who'd been with Naruto isolated.

Tsunade. The single obstacle between Konoha and permanent stability. A Jinchuuriki more powerful than Naruto, and Naruto's powerful child. None would have been able to stand against them. If only all had gone according to plan!

Instead they were weaker than they'd ever been in the history of the village. Sannin gone, elite gone, both Jinchuuriki _gone_. Disgraced before all. And worse! The other nations now had Jinchuuriki of their own! While Konoha had none. The worst, though, the very worst was how the entire mess could be laid at Konoha's door. They were less than dirt. All the other nations knew it and treated them as such. Kirigakure was leading the charge, as they were in possession of the most powerful Bijuu outside of the Nine-Tails. The other three nations vied for prominence, but Konoha was left to tag along in the rear. Eating dust and shame along with the other scraps the armies left behind.

It was intolerable.

No. The only way to lift the shame they'd brought upon themselves was to submit to Sasuke and the leaf ninja who'd joined him. Throw themselves on his mercy. Beg forgiveness. Beg asylum. They were at the clemencies of savages otherwise.

-oOo-

His assistant ducked into what now passed for the Hokage's tent: A stinking patchwork of animal furs propped on two poles and held down at the corners with rocks. "What news?" he asked of her.

She was an older woman, gnarled and humorless. The last Tokubetsu Jounin to Konoha's name. She pinned him with shard-like eyes as she straightened from her bow and rested the heel of one hand on her weapon's pouch. "Not good. Rogues from all armies continue to prey on our weak-"

"We are all weak!"

She paused for his outburst. "Four more women raped, seven girls gone missing, a dozen boys. Two men murdered. The villagers look to you to protect them, or else demand blood money from the armies for the loss of their loved ones."

"Is there _any_ good news?"

A sniff. "Two of the armies lost control of their Jinchuuriki again. Which two is unclear. Seems like all four erupt periodically."

"So they are still too distracted to move on Sasuke and the child, then. I tell you, now is our time to act! We _must_ beg mercy and protection from Sasuke."

"And _I_ have told _you_ that he harbors no love for Konoha or the council that exiled him. What is to stop him from killing us the moment we approach him?" Her eyes moved up and down his body. _"You?"_

"I am Hokage!" he intoned, drawing himself up.

Her name was Kai. She stared at him now until he slowly deflated. Not till his eyes fell from her face and his head lowered did she deign to speak. "You're what?"

"No one."

"What?"

"No one. Mistress."

"That's right. No one. Unless I say you are."

And it was she who'd told him to accept the nomination of Hokage. He was careful about his private life, so it was doubtful anyone knew of his long relationship with Kai. He'd introduced her to the council as his assistant, but the truth was she'd raised him from the age of five.

She'd been many things to him over the years. Mother, sister, friend, protector, provider. He didn't question her when she said he was old enough to begin pleasuring her. He never questioned her about anything. Could not begin to imagine life without her. It wasn't love. It was so much more than love. Obsession. Possession. To be owned by her. To know beyond life, death, and all doubt that she was the beginning and end of all existence for him, the _meaning_ of life, the definition of him…it was an addiction he could not give up. Would not give up.

So now he waited, every limb loose and relaxed in expectation of punishment for his outburst. Sometimes leadership and this war got to him. Made him forget his place. Who he was. He would be corrected. He wanted to be. _This_ he loved. The pain she gave him. How it emphasized her ownership and where he belonged. The pain was safety. Security. And after, he would be given the supreme gift of entering her body. Inflicting the pain in turn, flogged by her ragged demands for harder and faster, until she bled. Only then did he know he owned her just as fully.

* * *

Sasuke appeared amidst a score of people he knew and many he didn't. It was Naruto's house; there were the friends who'd been at the cabin, their parents or guardians, and a bunch of people who were in the process of petitioning these parents and guardians for help and advice. That, or they were receiving instructions of some kind. Point was, the house was full, yet he could see no sign of Naruto.

Everyone went silent at seeing him.

As there were quite a few things jostling for prominence in his mind, Sasuke spent some seconds staring back. He was peripherally aware of Ino, Shikamaru, and Kiba joining their friends and greeting their parents, but he decided his first priority was, after all, his son. "Where's Ikioi?"

"Who?" Konohamaru pushed his way to the front.

"My son."

No one seemed to know. No one spoke. Just stared at him.

What patience Sasuke had evaporated. "Have I stepped into a dream world, or are there several armies, each in possession of a Jinchuuriki, coming for my son? _Where is he!"_

This time they all looked at each other before looking at him. It was Inoichi who spoke now, shouldering his way forward to do so. "What do you mean they all have Jinchuuriki? Where did you learn this?"

"From your daughter."

Inoichi looked at her. " _All_ the nations? I thought you said Suna was our ally?"

Ino nodded. "I did. But I have since learned that was a ploy to get close to Naruto and his child. Gaara's gone, dad. No one's seen or heard from him in months." She started to launch into all she'd learned in Konoha, but Sasuke shut her up with a raised hand.

"Where's Naruto?"

Shrugs.

He asked the next question through his teeth. "Where's Chou?"

Chou himself answered from right behind him. "Sasuke. Thought I felt your presence. Is-"

"Where's Icky?"

"Perfect timing," Chou nodded. "Was just about to give the boys breakfast. Come along, I'll show you where they are."

Sasuke followed him out.

-oOo-

Apart from all the people inhabiting the village, two things struck Sasuke: the shield doming the village, and the steel structure in the center of it. But then they were entering the house next door, where he saw Sakura passed out on the couch. Chou went into the kitchen. Sasuke saw an assortment of bottles, some of them huge, all full. They were warming on the stove while Chou returned to a mixing bowl full of baby cereal. He watched as Chou added mashed bananas. "Had to stop when I sensed you next door," Chou explained.

"Where's Icky?"

"In that steel box."

"And Naruto?"

"Good question, all things considered. Tracked his chakra to Hinata's tomb. He's somewhere in that mountain."

"Doing what?"

"Presumably, more of what he was doing at his own house."

" _Which was?"_

"I honestly couldn't tell you. But I _can_ tell you what it looked like," he said before Sasuke could explode. He proceeded to recount Naruto's hours of solitude, culminating in his catatonic state. "Konohamaru brought him out of that. There was a brief period of aphasia, but then he was fine. Wherever he is in that mountain, I'll bet he's doing more of that."

"So, like he was when Hinata's body showed up?"

"Yes. Sort of."

Sasuke digested this. Couldn't immediately process it. He was about to ask about his son when Sakura spoke from behind him. "Chou. When you were telling me about the Hirukage you didn't mention the catatonia or aphasia. Nor did Konohamaru give me a report on how he found his Boss. I want to hear more about this."

"Of course," Chou said. "Well-"

"No," Sasuke interrupted. "Naruto doesn't sound like he's in any immediate danger, and I need to see my son." He gestured at the food.

Sakura folded her arms. "As soon as you're done, I'd like a word."

Sasuke gave a nod as he followed Chou outdoors once again. He watched closely as Chou unlocked the structure with chakra and entered. Paused on the threshold to note that this box was the reason he couldn't simply sense Icky. It blocked him somehow. No wonder Naruto had no problem leaving his son inside. _Still negligence,_ he thought as he entered.

-oOo-

Icky was sitting on the floor. A padded, toy-strewn floor, he was relieved to note. Yuudai zoomed around on all fours. Round and round, up and down. Fast as a ninja using chakra, but he wasn't using any. Sasuke went to Icky and hunkered down. Icky continued to stare at Yuudai, a frown of concentration pinching his little face. "Icky?"

It wasn't his son who responded, but Yuudai. Sasuke accessed Sharingan when Yuudai dropped from the third level to land in front of him. A barrier between him and his son. Sasuke braced himself but all the other boy did was stare at his knees. He thought maybe Yuudai was waiting for-

Icky screamed at seeing him.

Brought back to the present, Sasuke was in time to see Icky scuttling towards him. All else left his mind as he scooped his son into a tight hug and felt Icky squeezing his neck in turn. "Ah, my boy. My baby boy. You have no idea how much I've missed you."

Icky surprised him by pulling back, letting loose a stream of gibberish, and pointing at Yuudai.

"What?" Sasuke looked at Yuudai too. Chou was now shoveling cereal into his mouth.

"Icky's close to Beast," Chou said. He pushed a smaller bowl of cereal in Sasuke's direction. "Here, feed Icky. But yeah, when Naruto's not training them, I sense Icky's been trying to communicate with him."

"Beast." He gave Icky a spoonful of cereal. "I see some things have changed while I was gone. My son's eating solids, Beast, Naruto…training? Why don't you start at the beginning. From Hinata's funeral."

Chou spoke during the consumption of the cereal and bottles, and while they each changed their respective charges.

A part of him knew bitter joy at learning Naruto's reaction to their breakup, but the majority of him felt chastened. Chastened and…unworthy, at just how much this breakup seemed to be fucking with Naruto's mind. Even when Naruto was hating him, he still loved him. Loved him so much his sanity suffered when they were apart. It was just like the pregnancy, Sasuke thought. And then he felt dense pride that he still had so much power over Naruto. Felt valid. Almost vindicated. Such depression on Naruto's part _had_ to mean there was a chance for them.

That was for later, though. He tucked his happiness over Naruto's grief away to focus on his training methods with the boys. Hearing of the moves and power both were capable of put a frown of confusion on his face. "That's it?" he said when Chou finished. "That's how he's training them?"

Chou shrugged. "Far be it from me to criticize. I'm no ninja, nor have I any clue as to how ninja training should be undertaken. I do know that the way he handles Beast is appalling. Well what do you know." Beast yawned. "Looks like today's going to be one of his sleep days. He goes down about once a week, every ten days or so. Yup, and there goes Icky, curling up beside him. No, they don't need the blankets. Beast puts out more than enough heat to keep them toasty. Shall we? They'll be asleep for a good twenty-four hours."

"No. I want to sit with my son a minute, for fuck's sake. The hell is up with that sleep pattern? He wasn't doing this when I left."

Chou folded himself back to the floor and joined him in staring at the boys.

Sasuke listened to the same analysis Naruto'd received about his son and Yuudai with great attention. He had questions, which Chou answered, but most of his thoughts were taken up with one thing. "You think Yuudai can be taught." It was a statement.

"To an extent. Naruto's certainly trying, but given his approach, I'm not sure what it is he's trying to teach him. Naruto's not…doing well, these days." Chou peeked in his direction.

Sasuke caught the unasked question. "I'll address it, Chou, don't worry. But right now I have a war to fight." He got to his feet. "Question. Could anyone get into this box, or just you and Naruto?"

"They'd have to have really strong chakra placed precisely on the locks…which are undetectable."

Sasuke stared at him. "I want to show you something."

Chou looked at the new eyes. Listened to the question that followed. Considered it with a tilt of his head. "Not sure. Have you tried?"

"I tried exiting here just now in that manner and was blocked. Which I find fascinating. So I assume I'd be unable to just appear in here as well. But I'm not asking about me. I'm asking about someone with access to more chakra than I do. Can someone powerful enough manipulate the same space/time jutsu to enter this box?"

"You'd have to ask Naruto. He said this box was more Fuuinjutsu than steel, hence its ability to keep Yuudai inside, but…yeah. I don't know."

Sasuke looked around at the interior. At his son who was now sleeping on Yuudai's back. At Yuudai himself. He nodded. "Okay. I don't like it, but I'm going to trust Naruto for the moment. At least until I can come back here and address this myself. Right now, there are a few things I need to attend to." He followed Chou out, but not before he'd made ten clones, the way Naruto apparently did. He stood outside, eyes shaded as he stared up at the structure and considered all he'd been told. Forcibly turned his back and pushed his worry aside. "Looks like the villagers are settling in?"

"Yes."

"Is there a house available for my use?"

"Probably."

"Select one for me. Not too big. This will be my residence. Once you've selected it have Sakura, her inner circle, and her advisors brought there. Tell them to wait for me. How long can you maintain this shield?"

"I've tethered it to the natural chakra around us. It sustains itself."

"…What? _How."_

A shrug. "Something I saw Naruto do when he was shielding Beast. Handy."

"Right. Moving on. Are you Naruto's assistant?"

"He's been treating me as such."

"In that case, I hereby name you as assistant to the Kage office of Hakumeigakure. Now you're my assistant too."

"All righty."

"Once you've assembled everyone, set up a hospital-"

"We'd need a suitable building. Supplies."

Sasuke blinked. "How was this hellbox thing brought?"

"Toads brought the construction materials and assisted Naruto's clones in building it."

"Fine. Map out the location for the hospital and I'll handle the rest."

"Got it. What are you going to do, if I may ask?"

"Something that should have been done a long time ago. I'll meet everyone in an hour."

* * *

Both boys remained as he'd left them, sound asleep. He remembered Chou's information on them, but it was Kiba's words that gave him pause. The assertion that Yuudai was his now that Hinata was dead. He didn't know how Kiba came by this notion, whether it was because he and Hinata had shared something, or because he was partner to Naruto, Yuudai's other parent. However Kiba's logic worked, there could be no question of Yuudai belonging to him if Hinata's father and cousin were nearby.

However, for right now he would accept responsibility for him. He'd gotten Hinata raped, which had led to her death. Yuudai was his burden until such time as Naruto straightened out, or the Hyuuga claimed him.

Regarding Chou's information on the boys, though, as far as he was concerned, they were both ninja. As such, young as they were, he felt no compunctions over what he did next.

He had a clone assist him, but told him to observe for now. Calling forth lightning in his hand, he extended this into a sword and slashed at Icky.

Yuudai kept snoring.

Seeing as the sword stopped short of his son, that might be expected. He next swiped at Yuudai. Still no reaction from either boy. As he'd thought: they were oblivious to threats. All well and good for Naruto to train their abilities, but unless they knew when and where to hurl those abilities, such training was pointless. He transformed into Sachi. His clone did the same. Accessing his new eyes, he attacked once more.

First the safety of Icky and Yuudai. Then the village. Then he'd see about Naruto.

* * *

" _Show me," she whispered against his mouth._

 _He started to, eager to give her this at long last, but her eyes turned red. Kyuubi stood looking at him from his great height._

" _The fuck," Naruto squawked. "What-"_

" _Naruto." It was a reproachful growl. "Stop this."_

" _I want her."_

" _She's gone."_

" _I want her."_

" _This is madness."_

" _No. It's not crazy if you know it's happening."_

" _The last time you refused to listen to me you got pregnant."_

" _I want her. And she wants me too."_

 _His chakra obliterated the image of Kyuubi, and then Hinata was there. Soft and smiling and waiting for him._

 _Having only known Sasuke and the rape, it was quite the revelation to be with a girl. And Hinata wasn't just any girl. She loved him. He loved her. She closed her arms around him after Kyuubi left and pulled him down into a dark world of heat and passion._

* * *

Sakura listened with everyone else to Ino and Shikamaru's report. She sensed Kiba had a lot to say, but he stood off in a corner by himself, arms folded and gaze turned inward. "I'm going to get back to that in a minute," she said, still staring at Kiba. "For now, Kiba, why don't you tell us what happened when Sss…when our friend took you?"

He spoke without looking at her. "Because I don't want to."

Sakura turned to face him directly. "And why the hell not?"

 _Now_ he looked at her. A scowl. "Because it was personal. To him. Why don't you tell me what's been going on right here?"

"Meaning?"

"Chou. You reek of him. And see that…when I said his name just now, your scent spiked."

Sakura's face tightened in rage, a fact all present noted, but Ino said, "I can tell you something about Sasuke."

Still glaring at Kiba, who was gazing back, Sakura spoke through her teeth. "What."

It only took one sentence.

" _What?"_ Sakura swung toward her. "And since when can you say his name?"

Ino told of Sasuke finding them in the woods. Being allowed into his mind. "He got his eyes from pain, Sakura." Her voice lowered to a whisper. "Just being in there, seeing it first hand, _feeling_ it…it made me sick. Guys…" She turned to look at all of them. "Some really horrible shit went down up here. Sasuke and Naruto broke up."

Gasps.

"I think what's wrong with Naruto has something to do with Hinata, but more to do with that. The fact that he and Sasuke broke up."

Wide-eyed frowns as this was processed. Then Konohamaru spoke up. "Sad, man. Just sad. But what I'd like to know is why we got armies up our asses but no attack yet. That shit ain't suss to you guys? Makes no sense."

Sasuke walked in. "I agree. Before I address that, though…" He unsealed the group. Waited for them to recover. Noted that there was no reaction to his eyes and figured word was starting to get around. "In case you didn't know, Hakumei has two Kage. I'm Yorukage. If you'd like to swear fealty now in order to become citizens, I will accept this."

They looked at each other. Shrugged. Nodded. One by one they went to their knees and swore allegiance to Hakumeigakure, its Yorukage, and its Hirukage. When they stood, they bowed low to Sasuke.

Sasuke gave his deepest bow in return. "What you have done for me, Naruto, and our son will never be forgotten. Never. As long as I breathe you have my protection. This I swear to you as First Yorukage of Hakumeigakure." He straightened. Considered some other gesture, such as shaking hands. No. A Kage remained dignified. "Right. I'm afraid I must assign missions immediately. Kakashi."

"Yes, Yorukage."

He knew a moment of elation that his former teacher was now answerable to him. "The armies. I need you to find out what they're up to. See-"

A thunderous boom reverberated throughout the village.

"It's them!" Konohamaru screamed. "They're finally attacking the village!"

"No." Sasuke forestalled the rush outside by raising his voice. "It's my clones. I have a few Susanoo helping five hundred clones build a hospital." Pause. "And ten more training my son and Yuudai. Which brings me to my next point," he said, ignoring the stares. "Hyuuga Hiashi. Neji. What do you know of Hinata?"

Neji spoke for is uncle. "That she was pregnant. And is now dead."

"No specifics on either condition?"

Head shakes.

"I see. I'll need to speak with both of you alone then. Kakashi, leave for that mission now."

"At once, Yorukage." He vanished.

"Chou assists the Kage office, but I need a personal assistant." He looked over the raised fists. He wanted age and experience, but also youth and ferocity. An idea came to him. "Someone find me Moegi."

Konohamaru moved toward the door. "I will, sir."

"Right." Sasuke thought for a minute. Ten thousand things clamored in his mind to be addressed. He had to be selective. "I need ANBU. Forehead protectors. A symbol. Something to identify us when the armies come. And I need an advisor." _This_ was where he really needed age and experience. Again, he looked over the raised fists. He met a flat stare at the back of the room and felt a jolt of accord. Someone he could trust, who was knowledgeable and unbreakable. "Morino Ibiki. I name you advisor to myself. Do you accept?"

Ibiki came forward. Bowed. "I do, Yorukage."

"Good." He stopped as another titanic boom shook the village. "Put in motion my requests. Uh…please. Thank you. Neji, you and your uncle come with me. Ino, you too. The rest of you, take instruction from Ibiki for now. Ibiki, intercept Konohamaru when he comes back with Moegi. I don't want to be disturbed for anything less than the armies attacking. I'll come down when I'm done." He frowned. "And form a war council for when I am done."

* * *

He led the Hyuuga and Ino upstairs, found a room with a desk, and took a moment to lean his hands on it.

One of them closed the door.

When he lifted his head, he had himself more or less composed. More on the less side. He cleared his throat. "First and foremost, you should know that Hinata's child lived. She named it – him – Yuudai. He's currently with my son, being trained by my clones should Sachi put in an appearance and try to take one of them. I cannot assign any guard stronger than they are themselves unless it's myself or Naruto, so don't be alarmed that they're alone." He turned to face them.

All of them opened their mouths to speak. Hiashi lurched toward him with urgency all over his face. He checked them all with a raised hand.

"Please," he said. "What I have to tell you won't be told to another soul. It's too…difficult. Too painful. I can't even speak of it." Not after Kiba. "Not accurately enough to…for you to understand. So Ino I need you to lift it from my mind. What happened. The emotions. All of it. So Hinata's family can see. And hopefully understand. Just," he said when they all moved toward him. "Just know that this will be hard. On all of you. Do you want this?"

Nods from the Hyuuga.

"Are you sure? Once you see you won't be able to forget. Believe me, I know." He looked away from them.

Hiashi studied Sasuke. The anguish on his face. Neji met his eyes. Ino waited for direction. "When she died, I felt it," Hiashi said. "My daughter. A child I abused and ignored, who then grew dear to me. I felt the moment she left this world. I need to know. Show me my child."

Sasuke nodded. "Then please forgive me. If you can."

-oOo-

Ino suddenly didn't want to do this. She could feel the pain already. Whatever had Sasuke and Naruto so different. But Neji and his uncle were staring at her. Sasuke waited against the desk. Eyes closed. The fingertips of one hand bracketing his forehead. She took a steadying breath. Stepped to Sasuke. Gently moved his hand and cupped is head between her palms. The Hyuuga placed their hands on her back.

Immediately, she could tell the difference. Not as much resistance. There was some; places he walled off from her, but all things concerning Hinata were lined up before her. She felt him guide her to the beginning. To his, Naruto, and Hinata's last night in the cabin, and took it from there.

It was an effort. Seeing Naruto devolve and unravel. Seeing Sasuke and Hinata's growing fear. Their dependence on each other. But when Kyuubi took over-

-oOo-

He hadn't thought reliving it would be so bad. Bad, yes. But not _this_ bad. Now that he was in full awareness of how much he was at fault, it was unbearable. To see his passivity when Kyuubi first attacked now galled him to the bone. To know there was now an audience to his shame only made it that much worse to relive.

And now, to see again the aftermath of Hinata's assault. Teetering and bleeding. Helpless in his arms. Arms he later tried to comfort her with. This too he relived with private castigation, and yet his night with her still soothed him. The remembered love he had for her still ached. The lies he'd told hurt.

He'd forgotten the lust he'd felt for her after. He'd been hating her again by then. Wishing her and the child in her dead. He didn't hide this from Ino. Let them all know exactly what kind of man ruled them, the man they'd sworn allegiance to. He considered hiding his secret pleasure at her demise. Almost did. But he was guilty, so hid nothing. Not even his attempts to kill Yuudai.

-oOo-

Ino withdrew her presence from his mind and he was able to breathe. He didn't want to but he raised his head high and measured the other people in the room.

Neji was glaring at him with Byakugan, fists tight. Hiashi's face was largely unchanged. Ino went to a corner where she could cover her face and cry in private. "Ino," he said. "I don't have to remind you that what you've seen doesn't leave this room, do I?"

"No."

"You're dismissed."

When it was just the three of them he addressed Hinata's father. "I failed her. Short of harming my son, this village, my position in it, Yuudai, or Naruto, I will pay any price you ask." He waited.

Hiashi blinked through the stew of emotions roiling inside him. Tried to sift his own feelings from Sasuke's. He knew pride, anger, hurt, grief…but in the end he wasn't equal to the task. Pushed it all down and locked it away. Later. Time enough later to process. For now he would deal with facts. "My daughter is dead. I do not know that any price can change that. But her son lives. I claim him now." He turned to go, Neji on his heels.

"I can't let you do that," Sasuke said.

Both Hiashi and Neji were halted at the door. The chakra surrounding them, Sasuke's chakra, kept them pinned where they stood, unable to turn around. "Release us," Neji bit out.

Sasuke ignored him. "Yuudai is Naruto's son too. A father has more right than a grandfather. Naruto is my partner. Therefore, in his absence, I will look after his interests until such time as he instructs me otherwise. Yuudai is under my protection. You may see him but you cannot take him."

And both Hyuuga knew they were powerless to change this. Against Sasuke they were no match. Not now.

"Then let me see my grandson. And I want a hand in his training. His protection. All aspects of his life. Every detail, I want to know. He is Hyuuga."

"As soon as he's able I will have Naruto confer with you about him."

"Very well. Now let me see him."

* * *

The visit was a disaster, one Sasuke felt he should have anticipated.

Upon entry to the training box he found Icky in tears, but Yuudai took one look at the Hyuuga and attacked. Both Neji and his uncle resorted to Kaiten; Yuudai smashed right through. His own chakra didn't immediately stop the boy. Juuken had no effect. By the time he landed by the Hyuuga and physically snatched Yuudai off them, they were in critical condition. And it had only been half a minute since they'd entered the training box, surely no more than a minute. Yuudai snarled and writhed in his grasp. Turning his new eyes on him he leveled a powerful Genjutsu at him. He had to fight the boy, shoving and forcing the Genjutsu into place until Yuudai's eyes closed in slumber.

His clones had been dispersed in trying to help the Hyuuga. He made ten more and handed the boy to one. Another went to Icky and began comforting him. He went to the Hyuuga.

Neji was out, but Hiashi was conscious. "I'm sorry," Sasuke said. "I should have considered my training them would have Yuudai-"

"That is no child." Hiashi coughed up blood. "He is-"

Whatever else Hiashi had to say was lost. Sasuke sent one of the clones to get Chou.

* * *

He'd been waiting with Sakura, her advisors, and the rest of the cabin crew for over an hour while Chou tended to the Hyuuga in Hakumei's interim hospital when he turned to Sakura with a question. "Why aren't you helping Chou?"

"Because I can't stand him," she snapped. "And because he told me not to."

Kiba stared at her scowl. Ibiki quietly reminded him that his war council and Moegi were waiting. "They're going to have to wait," Sasuke murmured. "Naruto is the next order of business and I can only do one thing at a time." Naruto surfaced in his mind clearly just then. "On second thought…" He made two clones. "Take them." Ibiki bowed and left. The clones went with him.

Chou came in shortly afterward. "There was extensive internal bleeding in the elder Hyuuga. His spleen was demolished, several shattered ribs, and a lacerated aorta. That…I barely got to that in time." They watched him wipe his hands on an equally stained rag. "That aorta was a challenge. And I haven't regrown organs in years, but elder Hyuuga is out of the woods. Younger Hyuuga's arms were destroyed. Completely. Nothing but bone fragments. You said he stopped Beast at full charge?" He shook his head. "That boy can run through solid stone, I'm sure. Younger Hyuuga stood no chance. The time and skill necessary to repair such damage…I'm still working on him. Taking a break now because you need my input about Naruto, yes?"

Sasuke frowned. "Sakura is excellent. Why aren't you putting her expertise to use? Or Ino's?"

Chou answered without looking up from his hands. "Ino I didn't know about, but I'd be delighted to have the lovely Sakura working beside me."

Kiba's eyes narrowed.

"But she's made it clear how much she dislikes me. I won't have her issues clouding her judgment when it comes to taking orders from me. " He looked up at last, right at Sakura's reddening face. "And she would be taking orders from me. Naruto named me head of all medical services."

Sasuke found Sakura's rage both reminiscent of their Genin days and inappropriate. He stared at her. "Whatever shit you have going on with Chou, get over it. _Now_. I need everyone working at capacity and beyond. I have zero patience or time for self-indulgent bullshit. _Is that clear?_ "

Sakura glowered right back. "You better watch who you're talking to. I'm not your servant."

Sasuke walked right up to her. Looked her up and down. Drilled into her belligerent stare with a hooded gaze of his own. "That's _exactly_ what you are. A citizen of Hakumeigakure. Which I rule as Kage. Whom you swore allegiance to. You serve me, Sakura. You are under my command. You are my tool, my weapon, and whatever else I wish. If that's not the case then forgo your oath and take your ass over to the armies hunting my son. I warn you, though: I will wipe your mind clean of so much as your name before you go…and seeing as I've never done such a jutsu before I can't vouch for my skill in execution. You might die in the attempt." He blinked. "Are you staying or going?"

It was almost more than she could stand, bowing her head for this former team mate. But she'd sworn her allegiance. _Fucking son of a bitch!_ "Staying."

"Then as soon as we're done here you go with Chou. And work under his direction."

The silence in the room was profound.

"Yes. Yorukage."

Sasuke's chin lifted. He felt great satisfaction at bending the high and mighty Sakura to his will. All that remained now was for him to finish training the boys and to see to Naruto. "Chou, your report. Include Hinata's death and Naruto's reaction to it."

Chou inclined his head. "Got it. So…"

The telling was shorter than Sasuke would have thought. Everyone frowned. "And your thoughts, Chou?" he said.

"Initially, I thought grief over your breakup with him was what had him so withdrawn. He came home from that funeral a broken man, Sasuke. Never saw him like that. After…well, he was just cold. Shut down. I thought the boys, working so closely with them, would soften him, but if anything he's worse. He was never affectionate with Beast, but he used to show love toward Icky. Now?" He frowned at his shoes. "Most troubling is how much he isolates himself. Hours at a time. If he happens to be out of his room but not interacting with the boys, he's silent. Brooding. Miles away. All of this I thought was grief. Hinata, Sasuke…I thought that's what it was. But this isn't emotional. At least, not solely, not anymore. It's physiological. I told you of my assessment after Konohamaru came. I've never seen anything like that. It was his chakra and yet it felt…different. It's not a disease or a virus or bacteria. But I feel almost certain that this is foreign. Almost as if he's under attack. But one's chakra doesn't attack its owner."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "It's probably Kyuubi. You don't have the experience I-"

"No, Sakura, it most definitely isn't the Nine-Tails. I can feel that being inside him very clearly. Minutely even. I had Naruto explain to me in-depth about the demon and his current abilities. I have a good feel for the Kyuubi now, and this isn't that."

"He's not actually being attacked though?" Sasuke said.

Chou shook his head.

Sasuke thought. Rubbed his hands down his face. Put them on his hips. Stared at the floor. "All right. I get that Naruto needs help right now, and we will help him, but he's not the main issue. My kids are. They…" It hit him that he'd just publicly claimed Yuudai. For a few seconds he considered correcting himself, but then just forged ahead. "They're in danger from more than the armies."

"Sachi?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yes, Sachi. She can appear at any time, but it's not just her. She was meeting with someone while she was here. Someone who could appear and disappear at will like she can. Either of them, Sachi or this person, could appear beside my kids and take them or kill them."

Kiba frowned. "What do you want us to do?"

"Hold down the fort. I thought I could use clones but it's not working. I need to spend time with them physically. Make sure they understand the danger they're in-"

"Hold on," Shikamaru said with a raised hand. "This is the second time you're speaking about these kids as if they're not just babies. Noticed it when you said you had ten clones training them. _Training_. And now you think they can understand the danger they're in."

Sasuke nodded. "Right. About my kids." He gave them as succinct an overview of their abilities as he could manage. Chou likewise gave an extremely condensed version of his analysis that nevertheless had everyone agog. Sasuke met their stares as something occurred to him. "I'm…probably going to need help. With them. Naruto was training them on his own without much success that I could see. I'm not faring much better with the clones. Can't imagine that'd be different in person." He took a breath. Looked at his hands. "I already made the biggest mistake by taking Naruto away from you guys. His friends. His support. And none of what happened after would have happened if the people who'd come to the cabin had been allowed to stay. Hinata-" A sob flew out of him. Surprised him. One hand rose to his mouth to keep anymore sounds from escaping him, but scalding tears formed and spilled over that hand.

He'd never cried over her. Or grieved. Now, having unearthed his memories of her with Ino and the Hyuuga, having then gotten her family hurt, and having now at last discovered who he truly was, he also learned that he wasn't quite as without feeling as he'd thought. He missed her. And now, in hindsight, he respected the hell out of all she'd done and what she'd been through.

His new villagers watched him in silence.

He was some minutes shuddering in grief and remorse. Hand clamped so hard over his mouth that the fingers were white. Other hand on his hip. Eyes still streaming. Just trying to breathe and maintain himself in front of his villagers. Breathe and maintain. Okay. When at last he felt like he could continue, he looked up at them. The compassion and deference on their faces almost finished him. Almost. He cleared his throat.

"As I was saying. Hinata was right to stay with us, though it cost her. My son would be dead without her. And had he died, Naruto would still be dead. Had she stayed with us _she'd_ still be alive. Naruto tried to stop her leaving, tried to go after her when she left anyway…" He closed his eyes. Forcibly brought himself under control. "But by then she was pregnant with Yuudai. Naruto calls him Beast. Only thing he responds to. Like I stated previously, he's got an unbelievable amount of Kyuubi power in him in addition to things I've never encountered." This time he hesitated so that he could take a deep breath and meet their eyes one by one. "Naruto's right. He always is. About needing you guys. I can't do this alone. I do need help. With my kids. I am your Kage and I will keep you all safe; I know how to do that. This I promise. But I don't know how to be a father. Not this part of it, and not…not with children this powerful. Chou and Naruto can't seem to get through to Yuudai. My clones certainly aren't. So…I…help me. Please."

A full minute wherein they continued to stare at him. The sheer amount of commiseration and understanding he sensed from them had him lowering his eyes in embarrassment.

It was Sakura, crying quietly, who detached herself from the group, put a fist over her heart, and gave the lowest bow possible. Chou was next. One by one they all followed suit and held the bows.

In his shock it dawned on him that in baring his weakness, by putting his trust in them, he'd earned far more loyalty than they'd given him when they pledged their fealty. He'd done something Naruto-like. And had been rewarded with the devotion and support such actions had always earned Naruto.

He remembered when they'd gone back to the village after all those months in the forest. How left out and insignificant he'd felt. Jealous of the love shown Naruto. He could admit now that he'd hoped his village would welcome him back as a hero too. That they would look at him as they were looking at him now.

 _I have to let them in if I want to be taken in,_ he realized _._

Humbled, he gave his deepest bow in turn. "Thank you."


End file.
